Elusive Awakenings
by Wild Hope
Summary: She hates him and he hates her more. Now Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy are forced to marry each other. Dumbledore locks them in the Trophy Room as an attempt to get them to get along. Can they survive lies, Death Eaters, and what Lucius has planned?
1. The Marriage Law

**Elusive Awakenings**

**[[Author's Note: **I've been working on this story for years now (thank you writer's block) so the first several chapters are not as great as they could be, but this I promise you, it gets a whole lot better:D. Also this was written before HBP so keep that in mind. **]]**

Hermione sat at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall, staring into her bowl of oatmeal and fervently wishing that she could go back to bed for just a few more minutes. One more hour of sleep and she wouldn't feel like hexing the whole school into next year. She could always skip Charms... but of course that was out of the question, Hermione Granger simply did _not_ skip class. She smothered a yawn. She had stayed up late studying for her NEWTS, they were fast approaching and she was determined to get the highest score in each subject... but she was _so_ tired. Not to mention grumpy. She'd woken up cursing (not literally of course) at Crookshanks for waking her and then throwing in a few curses at various Professors for good measure. It was not going to be a good day. That much was obvious.

She had just nodded off and was dangerously close to falling face first into her breakfast when her issue of the Daily Prophet landed in front of her, startling her so much she nearly knocked over a glass of orange juice. Yes, this day just needed to be over with already. The sooner the better. Just the thought of sitting in class all day, taking notes, listening to lectures, for once it did anything but excite her. This whole school year so far, only a few months into it as it was, had been one long drawn out study session for her. Only several more months to go. She could make it, more importantly her brain would make it, but first she needed to get through the day without murdering someone. Or at least performing a well aimed Unforgiven on a Slytherin.

"Are you all right, Hermione?" asked Harry from beside her. "You seem a little out of it."

"I was-"

"Studying," Ron finished the sentence with a smile while she punctuated it with a yawn. He just shook his head. She knew what he was thinking, what they were all thinking. She was taking school way too seriously.

"You're going to drive yourself nutters if you don't ease up a bit. It's just a test for Merlin's sake," Ron said, stuffing almost a whole piece of toast into his mouth. Hermione watched as a bit of jam slipped from the corner of his mouth. At least she was amused. Ron, Ron, Ron. Whatever was she going to do with him? He had to get serious about his studies. They all did. This school year was going to be the most important of their lives. There was no time for adventures or detentions or sleep for that matter. At least not in her opinion. She'd have time to do all of that after graduation and she couldn't wait.

"It is not simply a _test_. It will determine the rest of my life. The rest of _our_ lives. You've got to start thinking about that. Pretending it doesn't exist isn't going to make it any easier to pass." No one knew how fervently she wanted to pass with flying colors, this was her chance to prove herself, prove that she was the smartest, that she was the best. Hermione Granger aced the NEWTs. That's what everyone was going to say. Harry was always the Brave one. Ron was always the Loyal one. She needed to be the Smart one. Not that they weren't smart because they were. But logical thinking was what she was good at. Reciting passages from books was what she was good _for_. For some reason she was beginning to feel like her place was slipping away. That maybe all of her book smarts didn't count for much compared to bravery and loyalty. Not that she was lacking in those qualities but she wasn't quite sure she embodied them. She wanted to stand for something.

This was her chance.

"Come on, Hermione, you could have passed the NEWTS in your fifth year," Harry said encouragingly, "You'll do fine, I'm sure of it." She looked over at Harry and smiled. He was the brother that she'd never had. He and Ron both. They balanced her in a way that no one else did. It was hard to explain unless you had been through all that they had experienced. They all filled the missing parts of each other. At least they had, until lately. Something had changed, they had changed, she had changed. She didn't know. All that she_ did_ know was that she felt this aching emptiness sometimes and neither one of them filled it. She wasn't even sure they knew it existed. Maybe she missed her parents and family back home, maybe she realized that after graduation things would never be the same.

Ever.

She was excited for all of the possibilities, yet at the same time absolutely terrified of the realities. The reality that Harry and Ron were going to go off into the future, eventually get married, have babies, do all of these wonderful things. She was going to be left in the dust, clutching a book, and looking for answers that she couldn't find. Hermione knew that she needed to stop worrying about things that hadn't even happened yet but it was still always on the edge of her mind. Her studies were too important to her to pass up for boys and dating, but sometimes she felt like she was missing out on a learning experience that everyone else was having.

"Thanks, Harry," she said smothering another yawn as she pushed her thoughts to the back of her mind. "Maybe I am studying a bit too much." Sometimes it was best to concede, She knew that this was an argument that she was not going to win. Perhaps he was right, she was studying a lot, and so tired. She unfolded her issue of the Daily Prophet and then grabbed a muffin and began eating.

"A bit?" Ron snorted while he tried to chew the rest of the food that he had stuffed in his mouth, "You've been studying day and night since the beginning of the year."

Hermione pointedly ignored him while she looked over the front page of the Daily Prophet. All thoughts of sleep and studying and Ron flew out the window in wake of the large headline, '_**Ministry Enacts New Marriage Law**_'. Her curiousity peaked, she quickly scanned the article. Her mind refused to process what she was reading so she gave it another once over, making sure that she read every single word.

When she was satisfied that her eyes were not playing tricks on her and that this wasn't some sort of prank she gave it to Harry in disgust, her face red with anger. "Read this, it's _revolting_. How can they do this?" she asked, her voice was dangerously strained and there was a furious glint in her eye. It was very rare that something made her blood boil to this extent. The entire premise of the article was ridiculous. Absolutely _ridiculous_.

All around her others were also reading the article and reacting in much the same way.

"How in the world can they _order _muggleborn witches and wizards to marry purebloods? It's insane, it's nothing more than a breeding program, like we're animals or something. It's bordering on slavery!" she protested, feeling sick to her stomach. Her muffin was sitting on the table forgotten and almost entirely uneaten. "This is just disgusting. They can not do this and get away with it."

When Harry was done reading the article and was sharing the information with Ron, she took the paper back and reread the article once more hoping that somewhere in the decree there was a 'Ha ha fooled you'.

'As issued by the Ministry of Magic at six o'clock in the morning on January 17th in the year 1997, in an effort to preserve all of wizarding kind, all unmarried witches and wizards of an all wizard linage are required by law to petition marriage to a witch or wizard of an all muggle linage providing both persons are of the age of eighteen. This new law comes after a report issued by St. Mungos genetics department last month about the increasing problem of 'weak-blooded' wizards caused by the blood links connecting nearly every 'pure-blood' family in England.

'In the past few decades there have been alarming numbers of children born with deformities or mental defect, the miscarriage rate has gone up and St. Mungos believes that this is a cause of inbreeding. "If our world is to survive and prosper then this problem must be dealt with immediately," Yimil Razanstaff, head of St. Mungos research department, said in a statement yesterday evening.'

Hermione stopped reading as she felt her stomach churn. To think that she was going to end up having to marry a pure blood. She just wouldn't do it. Absolutely not. She would march right down to the Ministry herself and protest if need be. There was no way that she was going to allow herself to be trapped. She had plans and ideas for herself and she wasn't going to let a law or any pure-blood family get in the way of that.

"Well I guess this explains what's wrong with the Slytherins, the whole mental defect thing," said Ron with a chuckle, from where he was reading over her shoulder. She looked over and glared at him. This should be taken seriously. It was nothing to laugh at. She supposed that the full impact of what it meant had yet to dawn on him. That was Ron, he had a habit of not looking at the big picture. She decided to point it out to him.

"Ron this is serious and in case you've forgotten you happen to be a pureblood too, which means in a few months you'll have to pick someone to marry," she pointed out matter of factly. When she saw the look on his face she kinda wished that she hadn't been the one to remind him of his own Pure-blood status.

Ron's face went bright red as he downed a goblet of water. "Fred and George are going to be furious about this," he muttered, "and Mum must be blowing a gasket."

Hermione sat the paper down, her logic and analytical thinking returning in the wake of shock.

Really, there was nothing to be worried about.

"Ron, this 'law' is going to be appealed by tomorrow. Do you really think anyone's going to abide by it? No one is going to accept this, they just can't. The Purebloods will revolt at the thought of having to marry someone who is impure and the Muggleborns aren't going to happily offer themselves up to the people who have looked down on them all of their lives. This thing isn't going to last long enough to see anyone married." She had to be right, Purebloods wouldn't want their blood tainted and Muggleborns wouldn't want to deal with that sort of family. Surely no one wanted to marry if there wasn't love involved. Of course, there were a few families like Ron's who were good and decent but she had to admit from what she had seen, more than half of the Purebloods she knew were Slytherins. That was nothing to look forward to.

She looked over at the Slytherin table and her eyes fell to Malfoy, Crabbe, Goyle, Nott and Zabini. There was no way she was going to get roped into marrying one of them.

No way at all.


	2. The Petition

Draco Malfoy lounged lazily on the black leather sofa in the Slytherin Common Room with his eyes closed. He had Quidditch practice in a little while and he dreaded going. However, he was Team Captain so he couldn't very well blow it off. Of course he could, he was Draco Malfoy and could do pretty much whatever he wanted, still, he wanted to win. Honestly a long soak in the Prefect's bathroom so he could relax and unwind. Unfortunately, they had a match against Ravenclaw this weekend and they couldn't afford not to practice. Especially if they wanted to beat Gryffindor for the Quidditch House Cup, and he was determined to beat them.

He had about twenty minutes to relax and then maybe he'd feel like going over strategies with the team. He went up to his room and sitting on the windowsill was a large, black, eagle owl, one of his father's no doubt. His father... more like his warden, or owner. Draco Malfoy really didn't have a father and never had. Sure, Lucius Malfoy had contributed DNA and of course provided for him financially but that was as far as it went. Draco shook his head, still unable to believe that his father had managed to lie and bribe his way out of Azkaban last year. He'd been hoping that he would be stuck there for a long time. Eternity would have made him very happy, but then Malfoy's didn't do well inside cages. That was probably why Draco was so miserable. While he wasn't in a physical cage made out of steel, he was trapped by his father's plans and expectations and he hated it and resented it.

He went over to the owl and took the roll of parchment that had been tied to its leg. He broke the seal that had been stamped in black wax with the Malfoy signet and began reading his father's neat, precise handwriting.

Draco, I have wonderful news for you. I've secured a pet for you, something I'm sure you'll enjoy. I fear it might have to be trained. No matter, I'm sure it will be no problem for you. It's not final yet but I'm sure you will be rather pleased. I know I am.

Draco rolled his eyes, he hated how his father was so obscure in his letters. He had a feeling that he was going to give him a new litter of hunting dogs. His father loved to hunt and had one of the finest hunting dog packs in all of England. He'd been breeding dogs for some time. Draco smiled, his father didn't give those dogs to just anyone. It made him feel an odd sense of worthiness.

Draco laid back on the bed and sighed. Thoughts of graduation floated through his head bringing with them more unpleasant thoughts. For one he'd have to go through with the Death Eater ceremony. He suppressed a shiver at the very thought. He wasn't afraid of many things but meeting the Dark Lord, having his mark branded onto his skin sometimes gave him nightmares. That was his problem. He thought too much, now if he were like Crabbe and Goyle with barely a coherent thought between the two, his life would be much easier. But life was never meant to be easy.

One of these days he'd get the courage to stand up to his father, to live his own life, but that day seemed very far away in his mind. He hated the fact that his father could control him like a puppet, pulling at his strings whenever he saw fit. Draco wanted to be able to make his own choices but when you were a Malfoy heir choices were few and far between. He contented himself with the fact that his father couldn't live forever and one day he would be able to make his own decisions without the thought of his father's anger hovering like a dark cloud over him.

One day.

Draco wondered where Pansy was, if there was one thing she was good for it was being a distraction. Kissing her gave him something concrete to focus on, a tangible way for him to concentrate on something else. He was well aware of the fact that he was using her, but she was using him as well. As far as he was concerned they had a win-win relationship.

For as long as he could remember it had been an unspoken agreement that they'd end up together, it just seemed like the natural flow of things. Their father's were friends, the two of them got along for the most part, they were cut from the same cloth. She wanted power and he gave it to her, he wanted to make his father proud and she helped him to do that.

A month ago everything had changed. The new marriage law made it so that in essence it was illegal for him to marry her, at least anytime soon. He had to marry and impregnate a Mudblood, or let three years pass. She was also in the same situation so whatever plans he had made, or intended to make, as far as their relationship was concerned had been put on hold indefinitely.

Not that he really cared. His father would find someone suitable. Some Mudblood that wouldn't be too bad to look at, not to bad to sleep with, and as far as he was concerned nine months later he'd be a free man, the Ministry would have their clean-blood child, and he could get on with things.

His mind wandered to a darker outcome. If Voldemort rose to power, and soon, there wouldn't be any Mudbloods to marry. His mind didn't fully wrap around that concept, because he didn't want it to. Death was something that he removed himself from. He knew what Death Eaters did, and would do, but his mind had to separate that. Separate the death from who his father was, separate the death from what he would one day become.

Before he realized it twenty minutes had passed and he had to make his way to the Pitch. He changed into his practice outfit and then headed outside, casting a warming spell around himself and hoping that the snow would hold off until practice was finished.

* * *

Weeks passed and Hermione waited, anxiously looking through the Prophet, expecting that any day now something would change, but nothing did. There were furious debates, and angry letters to the Ministry but the law stayed in tact. Wizards like Dumbledore, Stamford Jorkins, Gawain Robards, several Hogwarts Professors and other well-known and respected people had gone before the Ministry with petitions and the like but none of them had made a difference.

Hermione went on with her day to day routine, pushing it out of her head. From what she had read, students were exempt from the law until graduation, that was still almost five months away. She did have a back up plan, or rather, Ron, had a back up plan. As far as she was concerned if it had to happen, it would happen with Ron, or Neville, or at least someone she liked. That took a great weight off of her shoulders. Still, there was still time for something to change and she prayed that it would.

Near the end of February, Hermione was sitting in Transfiguration. When everything changed.

They had just begun learning human transfiguration and it was harder than Hermione had anticipated. She had been doing rather well. All of her hard work and concentration had completely drained her energy so she was very much looking forward to the end of class. She was going to take a much needed nap. After Professor McGonagall had helped Neville Longbottom, who had transfigured his head into an apple, transfigure it back, she dismissed the class.

Hermione was nearly out the door Professor McGonagall called her back.

Hermione walked over to her desk figuring it had something to so with her duties as head girl. She, the head boy, and the professors had been planning the graduation ceremony for the Seventh years. True, it was still more than a few months away but Hermione was going to make sure no one in her class would forget it. She had some wonderful ideas she wanted to share with McGonagall before the next meeting. Most of it was up in her room in a very well organized folder containing everything from a list of food, decorations, seating chart, schedule, speeches, everything. When Hermione Granger was given a task she jumped in feet first. She was just about to start outlining her ideas when McGonagall interrupted her.

"Miss Granger, the Head Master would like to see you in his office. The password is canary crème," said the stern faced Gryffindor Head of House. Hermione looked at her perplexed. Dumbledore wanted to see her? She supposed that wasn't so odd. She had been summoned to his office a handful of times already this year for various Head Girl duties.

"Oh, all right then. Do you think I could come to your office afterward? I've been working on a few things and I'd like your input." She could nap later. She had a minimal amount of homework for the evening and she could get it all tucked away and head to bed early, after she made her rounds in the hallway, quickly checked over Ron and Harry's work, gathered the library books she had to return in the morning, and made sure that her report for Arithmancy was perfect.

She was also in the middle of reading several books in preparation for her NEWTS but there was always the weekend. She missed her time turner. There were never enough hours in the day.

"Of course, you may. I have a few things I'd like to discuss with you also," said McGonagall looking up at the young witch with a rare smile. Hermione returned the smile and then left the classroom, her books tucked safely under her arm.

Hermione walked through the halls of Hogwarts and to the gargoyle statue that held the entrance to the Head Master's office. She said the password and stepped onto the stairs as they slowly began to rise. She was rather excited to see Dumbledore. They always had intelligent and engaging conversations. He actually took into consideration her opinions and treated her like an equal. She had a great fondness for him.

Hermione entered the office and almost immediately she got an odd feeling in her stomach. He greeted her from his desk with a solemn demeanor hiding the usual jovial features. He bid her sit and she strangely wondered why he didn't offer her a piece of candy. She always got candy.

Chastising herself for being irrational she took a seat. Try as she might to push it away the cold hand of fear began to clench at her heart. Something was wrong. She began to fear the worse, what if Voldemort had taken her parents... or killed them. She told herself to stop letting her mind run away with itself. For all she knew it was something minor. Maybe he wanted to know how Harry was doing, or about her studies. The look on his face told her that it was much more than that.

He handed her a rolled up piece of parchment and she took it with trembling hands.

"This came for you an hour ago, I thought it prudent that you receive it at once." That voice. It was devoid of humor. It was devoid of everything. He was talking to her as if he didn't know her. Hermione broke the seal, the Ministry seal, and prepared herself for the worse and when she read the first line she let out a sigh of relief and then a gasp of horror.

Her eyes traveled over the first sentence over and over again, waiting for the words to change telling her that she was imagining all of this. She found herself reading it out loud.

"'I, Lucius Alejandreo Malfoy, hereby petition on behalf of my first born son and heir Draco Salzarius Malfoy, for the marriage of Hermione Jean Granger to aforementioned first born son and heir Draco Salzarius Malfoy.'"

Dumbledore opened his mouth to speak but Hermione held up a hand stopping him. She needed a second to think, to process what was happening. Her heart was pounding loudly in her ears and she couldn't breath. It felt like she was trapped and she could feel herself gasping for air but it felt like there were invisible hands wrapped around her throat. 'Breathe Hermione. Don't do this. Don't do this. Just calm down.' She repeated to herself over again. Finally she could breathe without feeling like there was something sitting on her chest. Her whole body was tingling with, shock? Fear? She didn't know.

"I – I don't understand," she finally said helplessly.

"Lucius Malfoy wants you to marry Draco." Hearing those words coming from someone else's mouth seemed absurdly funny. This had to be some sort of prank. She and Malfoy? She a Malfoy? Never. It wasn't going to happen. This was a mistake. A huge, horrible, silly mistake.

"But he hates me, I - this can't be happening." She said running her fingers through her bushy hair. She looked at him helplessly for some sort of confirmation that this was indeed a mistake but the graveness in his eyes gave her no comfort.

"I'm afraid it is all too real Miss Granger."

She turned to him and he looked as old and weary as she felt and then it dawned on her.

"But I'm still a student. Wasn't there some sort of clause protecting students. Isn't this invalid? I can't be entered into a binding marriage contract." The bright light of hope and triumph flooded through her, this was all a silly mistake...

"There is a sort of protection for students. The legal terminology used in the decree states that the persons entering into the contract must be 18 years of age, or have graduated. You turned 18 last September and are of legal age to enter into a contract. I was under the mistaken assumption that everyone would have the decency to wait until the students have graduated. I should have realized that something like this would happen and done something to have prevented it. For that I am truly sorry Miss Granger."

"No, no, that isn't right. This is wrong." She took a moment to get her emotions under control, she felt like she was losing herself.

"What are my options?" she asked quietly.

"Short of marrying Mr. Malfoy? You can decline the proposal and go to the Ministry to have the proposal made null and void. If they rule in the Malfoy's favor and you still refuse then you would then have to turn in your wand to the Ministry of Magic, undergo memory altering charms and lead a normal, muggle, life." A normal muggle life? Give all of this up? Her friends? Her studies? The years and years of knowledge that she had painstakingly pushed into her head? The late nights studying, the hundreds of tests and assignments all for bloody nothing?

"Then I'll go the Ministry and get this taken care of." Simple as that, sigh of relief, everything would be alright. She'd had the scare of her life and now it was over.

"I'm afraid that might not be the answer. As you know Lucius Malfoy used his connections to get out of Azkaban. He has been cleared of nearly all charges. I'm afraid he will use tactics such as blackmail and bribery to get a judgment in his favor. I also worry about Umbridge's influence in this situation as well."

Hermione sat there for a moment feeling like she was being punished for being Harry's friend. "There's nothing you can do?" This was Dumbledore, the greatest wizard that had ever lived, surely he could help her.

He sighed heavily, "If only it were in my power. I've appealed to the Ministry numerous times about this farce of a law and I will personally visit the Ministry myself on your behalf and ask them to reconsider your case but as it stands I feel just as powerless as you my dear." The look on his face made her want to cry. She felt like she had just got a death sentence. It was Malfoy. This was a death sentence.

"I-I think I would like to go to my room, think this over." Think it over? What was there to think over? What did she want more? To be a witch or to get out of marrying someone she hated? Surprisingly the answer was easy and it made her angry. It made her angry that a world that meant everything to her could betray her like this.

"Of course. Would you like me to send for Misters Potter and Weasley?" Asked Dumbledore as he got up and lead her to the door.

"No thank you," she said calmly. She felt strangely empty now, as if she was watching herself on a television screen. It didn't feel real. It couldn't be real.

Hermione walked into her room she was privileged to have all to herself as Head Girl. She sat down in the chair in front of her neat and orderly desk. It was a large desk. There were several neat stacks of papers organized by which classes or projects they were for. She had three quills sitting in a nice neat row and several books stacked in a pile in the corner. She unrolled the parchment that Dumbledore had given her, laid it out before her, and calmly began reading. She got to the terms of the marriage contract and began reading them aloud as if it were nothing more than a mildly interesting essay that had nothing at all to do with her.

"'The petitioned party has twenty four hours to accept or deny the petitioners request.' Well, that's not nearly enough time to make an educated decision," she said to herself.

"'The official marriage ceremony will take place a week after the contract has been signed by both parties.'" A hysterical giggle left her lips at the thought of her Professors calling her Mrs. Malfoy.

She read through the rest of them. The marriage had to be consummated on the wedding night. After graduation she had to live at Malfoy Manor or on Malfoy property. She had to share her husbands room... just the thought of that made her stomach lurch.

She got to the last line:

"If one or more children have been produced from the union the parties may petition for an annulment of the marriage contract. If a span of three years have passed and no children have resulted from the union this contract becomes void."

Hermione stood up... and laughed. The three years of her life were planned out nice and neat on this piece of parchment. No one had asked her. No one cared about what she wanted. The laughter soon turned into angry tears and then something inside of her snapped.

Rage so fierce it scared her, coursed through her body. She was so angry. She started to panic. She had to make this feeling go away. She quickly went through the list of all of the things that made her feel better. Reading, writing, talking to Ron and Harry.

None of mattered.

Nothing would save her.

There had to be something to make it better.

Hermione stood up and grabbed the first thing that she felt. She picked up her chair and flung it across the room where it hit the wall with a thump. She grabbed the blankets off her bed and tossed them on the floor wanting nothing more than to rip them to pieces. She took a bottle of ink from her bedside table and threw it on the floor and watched as the black liquid seeped into the red carpet. Hermione opened her desk drawers intent on destroying everything. She hadn't worked for seven years, seven years, to become Malfoy's breeding mare. More vials of ink flew through the air shattering when they hit the walls or the floor. She grabbed a fist full of blank parchment and tore it to pieces, crumpling it and throwing it. Her quills were next, she snapped them in half and let them fall to floor. A lamp was thrown to the floor in a symphony of broken glass. A well aimed transfiguration book flew through the window breaking more glass and she sent more books soaring outside.

Her bureau was next, she tossed her school uniforms on the floor behind her not caring if they were stained with ink. Her hands grasped a thick pile of parchment, all of her research and formulas for her seventh year potions project. She'd started it before the school year had even started. Nearly seven months of hard work. Late nights crouched over her desk... What did it matter? She didn't care anymore. She walked to the window and tossed them outside. A piece of glass pierced her skin but she paid it no mind as she watched the parchment float to the ground. She walked to the middle of her room. She wanted to scream until she woke up from this nightmare. Someone knocked on her door and she grabbed her wand and cast a locking charm on her door. She just wanted to be alone until she stopped feeling. She sat down on the floor and cried and after awhile she felt empty again. Her whole life was falling apart around her. There was no order, no control, no facts that she could spout off to help, no knowledge that she had to fix this. If she didn't have those things then what did she have?

Nothing.

Absolutely nothing.


	3. The Acceptance

Hermione didn't know how long she had sat there. She wondered how much time had passed, it seemed like hours. The broken window was letting in cold evening air and she shivered. She was still sitting on the floor and she wondered if she had fallen asleep sitting up. She stood up, stiff muscles protesting and her legs tingling as they woke up. She went over to the window and looked outside. It was still early and just beginning to get dark. She could see the sun setting over the forest.

So the world hadn't ended after all.

She winced as she moved her arm. Looking down there was an ugly red gash running from her wrist almost to her elbow. It was sticky with dried blood but it wasn't very deep. There was also a scratch on her knee and judging from the smear of black ink accompanying it it'd come from a broken ink bottle. She had the insane urge to laugh but she clamped a hand over her mouth forcing herself not to. Hermione found her chair, sat it upright and then sat down not bothering to turn on the lights or light a fire in the fireplace. She wanted to force reality out of her mind and store it in a far off pensieve. She couldn't because she had a decision to make and she was going to make it right now.

Whether she wanted to or not.

Two options. Leave the wizarding world forever or marry someone she didn't love, someone she hated. Hermione Granger did not use that word lightly. She could give up her memories of Hogwarts, all of the things she'd so painstakingly learned, the hours upon hours of studying. She could give up remembering Quidditch and Hogsmeade, it would be hard, the most difficult thing she had ever done, but she could do it. What she couldn't do, what she _wouldn't _do, was let go of Harry and Ron. They were her family, closer to her than any blood relatives had ever been. They had stared death in the face together and they were still here. They were best friends and to lose them, her memories of them, was a far worse fate than dying, of being crucio'd until she went mad.. of marrying a Malfoy.

There was no choice.

She would marry him.

Tears welled up in her eyes and she brushed them away. "It will be all right," she said out loud.

No, it wouldn't be.

She made her way to the bathroom connected to her room and looked in the mirror. She was a mess. Her hair looked more frazzled than usual and her eyes were red and swollen. Just the sight of her almost reduced her to tears but she held them in. No sense in making it worse. She briskly ran her fingers through her hair. She had to get in control of things. If there was one thing Hermione Granger had to have it was control. She pulled out her wand and removed all traces of ink from her clothes and her skin. She stood in front of the sink and turned on the cold water, splashing it over her face. Feeling a little better she went back into her room.

It was a complete mess.

Hermione decided that she would work on cleaning it tomorrow. She had more important things to do. She undressed and managed to find a uniform that wasn't stained with ink or torn. She meticulously dressed herself, paying attention to every detail. Her tie was perfect, her shirt tucked in, and her vest buttoned. Relieved that she had at least gotten herself under control, if not her life, she took one last look in the mirror. She still had time. A lot could happen in a week. Dumbledore might be able to help her. The law could be appealed. She still had time. She just had to believe that it wouldn't happen, that the world that she loved, that was her home, wouldn't betray her.

She wanted to fight, she really did. She wanted to go to the Ministry tomorrow, plead her case, make them see how wrong this was, but she knew what would happen. Deep down in her gut she knew they would rule against her and she couldn't live with that bitterness. She just couldn't do it.

Feeling more herself, she grabbed at a few pieces of parchment laying on the floor and then left her room, closing the door behind her.

* * *

Draco Malfoy sat in a chair in the Slytherin Common Room staring into the flames. He was entranced by the way they danced, casting flickering shadows around the darkly lit room. His gray eyes traveled around the room, landing on Crabbe and Goyle who were comparing chocolate frog trading cards. Draco frowned and looked back into the fire. He was bored, and hanging out with Crabbe and Goyle wasn't entertaining him. At times it seemed as if they could scarcely form a whole intelligent sentence between them. He sighed and closed his eyes. He was tired. Quidditch practice had been exhausting but he was still too awake to go to bed just yet.

Annoyed with the course of his thoughts he decided to go find Pansy and take her up to his private room that he occupied as Head Boy. She would entertain him for awhile. He smirked at the thought. He'd just gotten up, intent on finding her, when there was a knock at the Entrance to the Common Room. A second year answered it and turned towards him.

"Malfoy, Headmaster Dumbledore wants to see you." Draco noticed the boy was trembling as he spoke and Draco relished the power he had, he enjoyed being the Slytherin Prince. He was feared and respected and he loved that. Part of him said that he was no different from his father but he pushed those thoughts away. If there was one person that he never wanted to turn into it was Lucius Malfoy. Despite that, year after year, he found himself becoming more like him.

Draco sighed as he walked toward the exit. This was why he needed Pansy, to banish those thoughts from his head. He could get lost in the feel of her, in the way their bodies moved together. The old man had interrupted him at the most inopportune time, still.. better now than later when he was really in the middle of something. He stepped out into the hall expecting to see that a house elf had come for him but instead it was Dumbledore himself. This wasn't good.

"Mr. Malfoy, I wish to speak with you in my office. Now." Draco nearly felt the need to cower. It was very rare that he talked to the Headmaster or the Headmaster to him. Before he could say anything Dumbledore turned and began to walk down the hall. Draco silently followed the Headmaster wondering what this was about. Perhaps Dumbledore had discovered that it had been he who had cursed the stairs to the Gryffindor Tower, making it impossible to walk up them. Probably not. That had been months ago anyway, and no real harm had come from it.

His palms began to sweat as his thoughts took a more sinister turn. Was this about the Death Eaters? Voldemort? His father? So many things could be wrong. Draco decided that he was probably worrying himself over nothing and he would find out soon enough what Dumbledore wanted and worrying wasn't going to help anything. Despite that as they got closer to his office his heart began to speed up. By the time they entered, Draco's heart was pounding loudly in his ears. He wanted to know what this was about already.

Dumbledore told him to sit and he obeyed, nerves tying his stomach in knots. He was reminded strangely of his father as he looked at the Headmaster. It was a comparison that he never thought he would make. The two were probably as different as two people could be. The way that Dumbledore was looking at him.. he'd seen that look so many times.

Anger.

Disappointment.

He must have done something very wrong. Thoughts raced through his head of expulsion from Hogwarts. He searched his brain trying to recall every horrible thing he'd done so far this year. None of it warranted expulsion.

Unless..

Unless he knew about the plan for him to become a Death Eater.

Dumbledore sat at his desk, his hands folded neatly on his desk. He was silent for a long time as he studied Draco and as each second ticked by he began to panic more.

"I've asked you here to beg you to reconsider," Dumbledore said stiffly.

Draco's heart literally stopped beating, enhancing the utter silence of the room. Draco was completely taken aback. The great Albus Dumbledore was _begging_ him?

"Reconsider what?" asked Draco slowly. Reconsider becoming a Death Eater? He would if he could but he wasn't going to be given the option.

"Your marriage to Miss Granger."

"My _what_?" For a moment it felt like all of the air had been sucked out of the room. There was a moment of relief that was quickly replaced with shocked horror. Granger? Marriage? What in the bloody Hell was he talking about? Dumbledore had finally fallen off his rocker. Of all the things he had thought that Dumbledore was going to ask of him that hadn't been one of them.

Dumbledore broke the silence.

"You don't know." It was more a statement than a question.

Draco felt his heart pounding in his ears, convinced that he was hallucinating. This couldn't be real. It just couldn't. He had a million thoughts running through his head and it was hard to concentrate on any one of them. Disbelief was first and foremost. Shock, anger, fury, all followed afterwards. This had to be some colossal joke and he wasn't finding it funny at all. Granger? Marry _Mudblood Granger_?

"Your father has petitioned for your marriage to Miss Granger."

Surely this was a horrible mistake.

His father wouldn't do that. Wouldn't _betray_ him like that.

"_Hermione _Granger?" he asked as if there was another Granger at Hogwarts. "That is impossible. There has to be a mistake." There was no way he was going to marry her. No way at all.

"There's no mistake. The papers arrived early this afternoon," Dumbledore said somberly.

"But my father... he wouldn't do this. He can't do this without my consent… can he?"

Dumbledore closed his eyes and rubbed his temples and Draco felt a headache coming on himself. He wanted to run. He wanted to run outside, hop on his broom, and fly through the sky until all of his thoughts fled in the wake of the wind.

"It's a very outdated law and it hasn't been used for years but if I remember correctly as the head of your family he does have the power to arrange a marriage for you." Of course his father could arrange a marriage for him. The Great Lucius Malfoy could do anything he damn well pleased. Destroy his son's life. Relinquish any small shred of respect Draco had ever had for him. He wasn't sure which hurt more, the fact that he was supposed to marry Granger or that it had been at his Father's bidding without his knowledge.

"And if I don't agree to go along with this?" he challenged. His hands were shaking and he almost felt faint. How could this happen? How in the Hell could his father do this? He knew the consequences. He didn't obey his father, no one did. Still, part of him hoped that there was some form of protection. Something that Dumbledore could do to spare him.

"I can not speak for your father but most likely disinheritance."

Draco, knowing his father as he did, knew that disinheritance would be the least of it. He had no choice. No fucking choice at all. Marry the Gryffindor or suffer the wrath of his father. He knew from experience that the wrath of his Father could be deadly. He cursed him for doing this to him and wished he had stayed in Azkaban and rotted. Just last summer Lucius had secured his release from Azkaban by claiming that he had been under the imperious and by paying off certain Ministry officials. Always a snake. That was the legacy of Malfoy.

Draco clenched his fist in anger. It wasn't even that his father had arranged a marriage for him, that could've been tolerable. It was because of Granger. Know-it-all, Gryffindor, mudblood Granger. He had always known that he wouldn't marry for love, hadn't really cared, but he had expected someone rich, well bred, obedient and not the best friend of his worst enemy.

This wasn't set in stone though. He held on to the possibility that Granger would reject the offer. After all she hated him and he doubted that she would stand for marrying him. He told himself that he was stupid for worrying. Granger and her friends wouldn't accept this. They'd fight the good fight for him. He could get out of this without disobeying his father if she would do it for him.

Draco had just stood up, intent on getting as far away as possible from the whole situation when, as if lured by his thoughts, there was a knock at the door and Granger walked in. When her eyes fell on him they blazed with such unadulterated hatred and fury that he was taken aback. She took a deep breath, as if willing herself not to curse him and it was then that he saw her fists were clenched around a few pieces of parchment. She turned, ignoring him, and looked at Dumbledore.

"Did you go to the Ministry?" she asked, her eyes pleading. Dumbledore nodded slowly. Draco looked at Dumbledore and then back to Granger. He didn't want to be here. This wasn't sounding good.

"So they didn't reconsider then?" Her lip was trembling and Draco wondered if she was going to cry. He almost felt the urge himself but he wasn't weak enough to give into it. The thought of spending years stuck with _that_ was enough to make him vomit. If she wouldn't, he would find some way out of this, eventually.

"No, I'm sorry, the petition stands." Dumbledore said as his eyes rested on him. Draco didn't know what he wanted him to say. It wasn't like he had any sway with his father. If he did he would've used it. There was nothing he could do, at least not yet. He needed time to think and figure out a plan. At the moment he was just as stuck as Granger.

"I have considered the alternatives and I've decided to accept the contract," she said, her voice sounding brisk and business like.

No_. Fuck _no.

How could she stand there so calmly and consent to destroying his life?

"Are you sure, Miss Granger?"

She nodded and then turned with her back to both of them. If Draco hadn't been so furious at his father, her, and at the situation he would have almost felt bad for her. At the moment, he was far too busy feeling bad for himself.

"Sign your name at the bottom and I will send it out," Dumbledore said with a heavy sigh.

Hermione turned around but her eyes were dry. The Headmaster handed her a quill dipped in ink and with visibly shaking hands Draco watched as she signed her name, the whole time wishing she would stop. Part of him still held onto the hope that this wasn't real. That it was a mistake or a joke or a nightmare that he would wake up from at any moment.

"Mr. Malfoy, sign your name at the bottom next to Miss Granger's."

Draco looked at the spot where he was supposed to sign. This was all happening so fast. Not ten minutes ago he had been single and unattached and now.. now he was about to be engaged. He spared a look over at Granger and he could see it in her eyes that she was begging him not to sign it.

He didn't want to sign it.

There was no choice.

There was nothing he could do.

He put quill to parchment and signed his name next to hers.

"Well," said Dumbledore uncomfortably, "I'll have this sent out in the morning. I will do everything in my power to try to absolve, if not postpone, these turn of events. However, I think it would prudent if the both of you sat down and talked, found some way to deal with this situation in a constructive manner."

"I don't want to talk or find a way to 'deal with this situation'. I don't want him anywhere near me," she said venomously as she stormed out of the office. He could hear the sound of her feet on the stairs down. Draco sat there in shock. He had never heard anyone use that tone with the Headmaster before. Let alone someone like Granger.

"I think we are done here. You may go back to your Common Room," Dumbledore said curtly.

Draco stood up and walked through the hallways. He went to his room, slammed and locked the door, and then grabbed a quill and a piece of parchment. He spent the next hour writing a letter to his father telling him how much he hated and despised him. How he wanted him to die and would do it with his own wand if he had to. He told his father that he could take his plans and this marriage to Granger and choke on it because he wasn't going to marry her.

When the letter was finished Draco pointed his wand at it and set it aflame, knowing that he would never have the courage to tell his father how he really felt. He was trapped, and Malfoys didn't do well inside cages.

* * *

**I love reviews, if you haven't yet, check out my other Draco and Hermione stories, Between the Lines, and Twilight and Shadows. Much Love!**


	4. The Foiled Plans

**Author's Note: Reviews are so much appreciated! I would like to thank everyone who has submitted one so far, they absolutely make my day and give me the drive to keep writing. Please feel free to leave comments. Happy reading!**

Hermione strode blindly through the halls tears clouding her vision and nausea churning in her stomach. She couldn't go any further. She collapsed against the wall and fought back the urge to cry. Students passed her, watching and whispering. It was so unfair, too unfair. Life just couldn't be this harsh, this cruel. A small group had formed around her, watching her, and she didn't care. They could look all they wanted. The usually composed Hermione Granger in the middle of a complete meltdown. It was as incomprehensible to her as it was to them. After a few moments she heard a stern voice grabbing everyone's attention.

"Back to your business, all of you now. Shoo or it's a weeks' worth of detention for the lot of you. Curfew is in five minutes."

Hermione looked up and saw Professor McGonagall ushering the students away.

"Come, come child, we need to talk." Professor McGonagall took her arm and then led her down the hall and through a doorway into a small sitting room. There was a desk strewn with papers and books and Hermione realized that she must be in Professor McGonagall private chambers. She handed Hermione a handkerchief and she dried her eyes and blew her nose while Professor McGonagall handed her a cup of tea.

"Are you all right Miss Granger?"

Hermione gave a cynical smile. "I'm everything but all right." She felt the urge to throw herself on the floor and cry until this all went away. As each second passed she felt her life slipping away from her. She was watching it, like a muggle movie, as everything fell from her grasp, shattering to pieces.

"Is there anything I can do to make this situation easier for you?"

Hermione sipped her tea and considered. Easy? Doubtful. "Can - can I ask you a few questions?"

"Yes, of course," said McGonagall as she sat down across from Hermione.

"If... if I were to be... infertile, would that nullify the marriage contract?" Hermione asked. She had thought of a hundred ways to get out of this situation and that seemed like a viable option. She wanted to run away but she couldn't do that. She had to graduate, maybe after that she could run away until something changed. She couldn't do that now. The thought of repeating the school year over again made her stomach hurt. She had found her solution, the only problem was that her obsession with school was keeping her from it.

"There are no spells or potions that I know of to cause permanent infertility," McGonagall said slowly. Hermione had worried about that but she had another plan.

"Well muggles have an operation, it's called a hysterectomy..." She had never really thought about having children. There was so much to get done before she even wanted to think about that. Still, giving up that option was a small sacrifice compared to her freedom. She could deal with the regret later. She needed her freedom now.

"I don't think that would be wise. If you voluntarily had such a procedure the Ministry could view it as a breach of contract. They could take your wand and exile you."

Of course they would. They were talking away all of her choices.

"So it's a done deal then? Unless this law is reversed in seven days I will have to marry someone that I hate." She clenched her fist, her nails digging into her skin. She did hate him, yesterday she had loathed and despised him but in a few short hours it had developed into a hatred so strong it almost scared her.

* * *

Draco leaned against the window sill, looking out at the dark cloudy night. He should have been in bed hours ago. He was so exhausted, mentally and physically, but every time he tried to lay down his mind kept on going over things. How to fix this mess that his father had put him in. He'd had many ideas over the past few hours and had discarded all of them. Bribe Granger to go far, far, away and never come back: wouldn't happen, she'd never take his money anyway. Have Crabbe or Goyle marry her by using a polyjuice potion: good idea but it would never work in the long run. Bribe the ministry official who would head over the ceremony to lose paperwork: Too risky because his father would probably find out. Take all the gold he had and run away, never looking back: he didn't have the guts. Kill Granger: he didn't have the guts for that either.

He walked over to the fireplace, there had to be a way, something that he hadn't thought of yet. He could always get Pansy to marry him but since he had already signed the contract it wouldn't be legal anyway. He cursed himself for signing it. If he hadn't then he and Pansy could have jumped on his broom and gotten married. He didn't love Pansy, didn't even really like her, but over seven years he had learned to tolerate her and that was more than he could say for Granger. He collapsed on his bed trying to think of a way to stop his life from crashing and burning.

As far as he could tell there wasn't one.

Once again he cursed his father. Seven days. That was not enough time to fix this. There had to be something he could do. Some way to convince someone that this wasn't the answer. There had to be an answer.

He nearly jumped out of his skin as he heard a loud tap at the window. He looked up and saw one of the Malfoy's owls at the window. Loathe to read whatever message there was he laid there until he couldn't stand the tapping any longer. He opened the window, grabbed the sealed letter from its' leg, and then he slammed the window shut.

From his father. Of course.

He broke the seal on the letter and then opened it up.

_By now I am sure that you have been informed of the gift I arranged for you. Is it not perfect? There is one thing I must ask of you. Under no circumstances must you breed your new pet. Pedigree of the highest standards must be maintained. When your pet is no longer of use I will have it taken care of._

Draco didn't know whether to feel more relief or more horror. So despite the terms of the marriage contract he wasn't supposed to get Granger pregnant. That in itself was a relief. He went over in his head the part about her "being taken care of". That didn't sound good. He wondered for the millionth time what his father's real plan was. What was Granger's use and exactly how would his father have her "taken care of"? He knew the answer to that even if he didn't want to admit it.

Hermione Granger was going to die.

* * *

Hermione stood outside the portrait to the Gryffindor Common Room trying to work up the nerve to go inside. She was tempted to cast an invisibility spell and sneak up to her room and lock herself away. Unfortunately, this had to be dealt with, and now. She wasn't sure she would have the courage tomorrow.

"Are you going in or not?" the Fat Lady asked impatiently.

"Gillyweed juice," Hermione said, speaking the password. The portrait swung open and Hermione climbed through. The Common Room was deserted but for a few students still finishing homework. Harry and Ron were still awake and sitting on the sofa in front of the fireplace. They hadn't seen her yet and she stood there for a few minutes watching them. Trying to find the courage to tell them what had happened. She took a step towards them and then another. "Can I speak with you two upstairs?" she asked and they spun around when they heard her voice.

"Hermione! We've been looking everywhere for you!" said Harry standing up. He could see that something was wrong and he looked worried. She wanted nothing more than to hug him but she couldn't bring herself to ask for one.

"What happened?" he asked, his voice filled with concern.

"I'll tell you upstairs," she said softly. She could do this. They would understand. They would help her. Between the three of them they would come up with a way to fix this. Her friends had never failed her yet.

They followed her silently to her room and Hermione opened the door to see that her room was in as much disarray as it had been when she had left it. She felt rather embarrassed that she hadn't thought of making them wait outside while she cleaned up a bit.

"Hermione, who did this?" asked Ron as they stepped into the room.

"I did it," she said simply. With a spell the lights turned on and Hermione motioned for them to sit on the bed. She felt bad that they had to climb over things and avoid broken glass to get to it.

"What happened after Transfiguration? We haven't seen you all day and then there were rumors..." Harry said, trailing off.

"Rumors? About what?" She wondered if they already knew,. If she would be spared the pain of telling them. She still wasn't sure how she was going to make the words come out of her mouth.

Ron looked uncomfortable as he answered, "A few students said they saw you crying in hall and that... that... well..."

"That you're pregnant," finished Harry.

The absurdity of that comment struck Hermione as very funny and she started to giggle. She sobered when she realized that after she was married that might not be far from the truth.

"We don't believe it of course," Ron added hurriedly.

"Yeah, we know you better than that," Harry said.

Hermione decided that she just had to take a deep breath and tell them.

"Someone has petitioned to marry me due to the Marriage Law… and I accepted it."

She paused trying to figure out how to tell them the rest but she just couldn't.

"No..." Harry said in disbelief.

"But they can't do that!" protested Ron.

"Dumbledore has tried to help but there is nothing that he can do. I can go to the Ministry and ask them to appeal the petition but I don't think that will help. I have no choice..." Hermione was proud of herself for being able to get through saying it without breaking down. She wanted them to believe that she was okay. She didn't want them to worry. Once she told them who it was they were going to worry.

"Who is it?" asked Harry pointedly.

Hermione looked away, she feared this part most of all, she didn't want to tell them, didn't want to see their reaction.

She stood up and walked to the window, two little words, all she had to say, but it was so hard.

"I have no choice," she repeated. "If I don't marry him the Ministry will take my wand away and obliviate me and I'll have to go back to living a muggle life... I'd have to leave you two..." she stopped and took a deep breath, working up her courage.

"It's Malfoy."

"I'll kill the bloody bastard!" said Ron getting up and walking towards the door.

"Ron, no! You can't!" said Hermione grabbing his arm. "Don't make this any harder, please." Part of her didn't want to stop him. She wanted to lash out at Malfoy, wanted him to pay for what he and his father had done.

"I'm not going to let you marry him, Hermione!" said Ron in a rage. His face was redder than his hair. Harry had grabbed onto his arm and was restraining him from bursting out the door and down to the Dungeons.

"Hermione's right. You have to calm down," said Harry. He turned to Hermione. "Tell us everything."

* * *

Draco made his way down to the Great Hall wanting nothing but a steaming hot cup of coffee to wake him. He hadn't been able to sleep at all last night and he was not in any mood to be bothered. He had debated blowing off all of his classes but he decided not. Tomorrow was Saturday and Slytherin had a match against Ravenclaw and he couldn't miss it, the last thing he needed on top of all of this was detention.

Married... he still couldn't believe that in seven days he was getting married. Just the thought of it made his skin crawl. He made his way over to the Slytherin table and sat down, trying to mentally drown out the chattering of his peers. He was beginning to get a headache. He glanced toward the Gryffindor table and found Weasel glaring at him and looking like at any moment he was going to leap over the tables and kill him. Draco glared back. So she had told her stupid friends. Well that was just wonderful, now he was going to have watch his back. He wouldn't put it past them to aim a curse at him while his wasn't looking. His glaring contest was interrupted by Pansy sitting on his lap. He pushed her off but she didn't seem to care.

"Good morning Draco," she said in a seductive voice that, at the moment, grated on Draco's nerves.

"Wonderful," he muttered gulping down his coffee. He didn't feel like telling Pansy that next week he would be a married man. He didn't much feel like telling any of his fellow Slytherins. He had no idea how they would take the news. If they thought that it was funny and a great way to torture Potter it might be alright but if they saw him marrying a Gryffindor Mudblood as a betrayal then he would be in for a lot of trouble and so would Granger... not that he cared.

He looked at all of the food sitting on top of the table and felt nauseous. He turned his attention back to his coffee, trying to think of some way to get through the day. What he needed was a Calming potion, better yet a nice alcoholic drink. He was tired of thinking and if he could just drink away his thoughts, all the better.

He looked over at Pansy and decided that maybe her voice wasn't as grating as he had originally thought. Once his coffee was finished he stood up and with a look she followed him. He just wanted to forget, everything.

A few hours later Draco walked into Double Potions and took a seat in the far back. Things had gotten marginally better since breakfast. He was still in a rather foul mood but after being distracted, and then having school work to concentrate on he wasn't dwelling so much on his thoughts. He got out his Potions notes from the previous day. Today they would be making the Skelegrow potion for Madame Pomfrey. It was so complicated that it would take three class periods to complete but he was looking forward to the challenge. Potions was his favorite subject and he was hoping that he could lose himself in measurements and calculations.

That might be difficult seeing as he had to share the class with _her_.

As class began Snape strode into the room in a flourish of black robes.

"As you all know today we will be making Skelegrow for the infirmary wing. This potion requires intense concentration so to discourage your mindless chit chat I have chosen lab partners for this assignment. After I pair you up you are to get started immediately. By the end of class all of you should be at step seven. If you are not, your potion will be disposed of and you will have to start it all over again... in detention. Am I understood?"

They all nodded.

"Zabini you are partnered with Abbot. McMillan... Weasley. Chang... Goldstein. Potter... Fletchy-Flich. He went down the list and Draco was getting increasingly worried.

"Malfoy ...

Granger."

Shit.


	5. The Detention

As soon as Snape announced their names Granger raised her hand, a second before Draco could do it himself. There was no way he was going to partner with the Mudblood. That had to be some sort of conflict of interest or something. Just the thought of being stuck partnered with her made him want to vomit. Although that could easily be attributed to the fact that it was empty but for coffee, which he didn't drink very often. Still, that wasn't the point.

"Yes, Miss Granger?" Snape acknowledged in the annoyed, impatient, voice he used with all of his students. Draco sighed. He had a feeling in the pit of his gut that they were not going to be getting out of this easily.

"May I have a different partner please?" Granger asked, each word clipped and precise. She sounded just as much against the idea as he was.

"No, you may not. Five points from Gryffindor for interrupting class, anything else?" Draco resisted the urge to ask for a different partner as well. Snape turned and looked at him with a raised eyebrow. Draco kept silent.

Draco watched as Granger glared at Snape but he seemed not to notice. Draco noticed that she had no intention of moving to his table so reluctantly he gathered his things and moved to hers. He told himself that he could ignore her as much as possible and everything would be just fine. As far as he was concerned Hermione Granger did not exist.

Draco got the cauldron, scales, and mortar and pestle, while she got the ingredients that they would need for the first seven steps. Everything went smoothly at first. They didn't talk at all. He did step number one while she did number two and so on. Step number five called for the bicorn powder to be added after the mixture had boiled for 13 minutes.

Draco was just about to add it when Hermione stopped him.

"It's only been eleven minutes," she protested. Draco looked at her trying to hold in the hostility. After all, it wasn't her fault that they were paired together. Didn't stop him from hating her though.

"No, it's been thirteen. I kept track." he said through clenched teeth. He wasn't stupid. He may not be the top student in his year but he sure as hell knew how to tell time.

"Obviously not well enough. Wait two more minutes," she demanded hatefully.

"No. I know how to tell time Granger," he said attempting to put it in but she pushed his hand back. He was really getting angry. That she thought that she could tell him what to do made him want to hex her.

"I'm not going to fail because of you," she said in a harsh whisper.

"Bugger off Mudblood," he said pushing her hand away.

"Listen you inbred_ ferret_, don't add it yet."

"Watch me." He pulled away from her and dumped the powder into the cauldron, he realized a moment too late that it wasn't the bicorn powder he'd added at all, the crushed dragon bone.

The potion hissed and erupted in a cloud of red smoke.

"Look what you did!" Hermione shrieked.

"I wouldn't have done it if you hadn't distracted me!" His face was red with embarrassment. Of all the times he had to screw up it had to be now. So much for pretending like she didn't exist. He could kill Snape for doing this to him.

"If you would have kept track of the time then maybe this wouldn't have happened! As if _I_ don't know what I'm doing. I have more knowledge about potions in my little finger than you have in your whole-"

"Enough," Snape said in a quiet voice that demanded silence and obedience as he swooped down upon them. They listened, Draco's red face contrasting with his pale hair and she looked on the verge of tears.

"Ten points from each of you. Follow me the both of you. Potter, clean up their mess."

Granger gave Potter an apologetic look as she followed Snape and Draco out into the hallway.

Snape shut the door behind them and glared at them both.

"That was a display worthy of two first years. I have been made aware of your current situation-,"

"You knew and you still partnered me with him!" accused Granger.

"Silence Miss Granger. I was under the false impression that the two of you could behave yourselves in a mature manner but I see I was mistaken. Both of you go to the Headmasters office. I trust that you will be able to get there without cursing one another?"

"Why do we have to see Dumbledore? Can't you just give us detention?" asked Draco.

"In case you weren't listening, you botched the potion so the both of you will have to serve a detention with me tonight at seven to redo it regardless. I'll let the Headmaster deal with your childish arguments." He turned and walked back into the classroom leaving Hermione and Draco standing there.

Draco decided he might as well get everything over with and then he was going back to his room, afternoon classes or no. He was tired of looking at her. He was tired of classes. He was done with everything.

He wanted to be alone.

Hermione followed Malfoy through the halls and finally they got to the gargoyle that lead to Dumbledore's office. The door to the stairs was already opened and Draco made his way up to the door and knocked. It opened and he walked in and she followed. Dumbledore was sitting behind his desk and didn't look very surprised to see them. Hermione was beginning to sincerely hate this office.

"Sit," he said motioning to the two chairs in front of him. Once they were seated Dumbledore studied them. Hermione wanted to start tapping her foot in nervousness. She had never been in what felt like this much trouble. Detention, having to go to the Headmaster's office, it was insane. She looked over at Malfoy and had to stop the rage from showing in her face. If he would have just _listened_ to her.

"I was expecting this," Dumbledore said heavily. "Though I must admit I expected more of you Miss Granger than to erupt into a shouting match in the middle of class."

Hermione looked down, her face red. She was absolutely humiliated. She felt like she was disappointing everyone. If there was one thing Hermione Granger wasn't use to feeling it was like a disappointment or a failure and right now she had never felt more like both.

"I realize the difficulty of your current situations and the large amount of stress that must arise from such things. I've decided to forgo punishment if the two of you agree to sit down and talk to one another like the young adults that you are." He looked at them and Hermione had the uncanny feeling that he knew just what she was thinking and what she was thinking was that it would be a cold day in Hell when she ever sat down and talked to him.

Hermione looked down at her hands and refused to say anything. She didn't want to talk to Malfoy and she wasn't going to agree to it. She'd scrub bed pans in the infirmary and clean every toilet in the castle without magic before she'd be stuck alone with him. She'd have more luck talking to a wall than him and she wasn't going to waster her time.

Dumbledore took her defiant silence as her answer and turned to Malfoy.

Draco didn't say anything either and Dumbledore sighed and Hermione felt guilty for the stress she was putting on him. It was too hard to swallow her shredded pride and talk to the person who was going to be in control of the next three years of her life. It sounded like a prison sentence. She spared a thought for the possibility of committing some crime that would get he locked in Azkaban instead. If it weren't for the Dementors that might not be a bad plan.

"After your detention with Professor Snape the both of you are to report to the Great Hall for detention with Mr. Filch. Don't bother taking your wands with you. You are excused."

Hermione stood up and left the room. She could hear Draco trailing along behind her and she wanted turn around and slap him. She had never felt so much anger and hate directed towards one person and she wondered how she would get through years of having to live with him, of having to see him everyday, it made her feel nauseous.

The bell had just rung for lunch and she made her way to the Great Hall telling herself that she had to eat whether or not she wanted to. Harry and Ron arrived a few minutes later and sat down on either side of her. It felt nice to be in the company of her friends again. She refused to think about what life would be like if she couldn't see them everyday.

"Are you okay, Hermione?" asked Harry, slinging an arm around her. It made her feel slightly better. She didn't know what she would do without them.

"I'm fine. I have detention with Snape and Filch all in one night," she said resting her chin on her hand. She couldn't believe that she had detention, and for once it wasn't because of something Harry and Ron did and she tagged along for.

"Dumbledore gave you detention?" asked Ron in shock.

"I can't blame him really," she said honestly. She knew he was only trying to help the situation. His heart was in the right place. There was just no way to make it better. No amount of talking was going to fix it or make it tolerable.

"It was either that or talk to Malfoy and I decided that talking to the git wasn't worth it." She poured herself a glass of pumpkin juice while Harry and Ron talked. She spared a glance over to the Slytherin table but Draco was no where to be found.

Draco jumped on his broom and kicked off, flying high over the Quidditch pitch. He didn't feel like going to lunch or his afternoon classes. He'd decided to skip his detentions too. After all there was no worse punishment than having to marry that Mudblood. He flew higher needing to get away. Before he could stop himself he flew over the gate towards Hogsmeade and he didn't stop. He didn't care if he got a months' worth of detention or even if he was expelled but he didn't want to be near that stupid castle for another moment. He neared the wizard town and flew lower when he reached the outskirts of it. He landed and then dismounted.

Draco sat his broom and school robes against a tree and then took off towards the town. He knew he was easily recognized by his uniform but he didn't really care. He made his way to Dervish and Bangs and went inside. There weren't many people inside and he busied himself with flipping through books and looking at school supplies. He didn't have any gold so for the next few hours he contented himself with window shopping. It felt good to be by himself with no chance of Pansy or Crabbe and Goyle bothering him. He felt almost free but it didn't last very long when he stumbled upon a wedding reception taking place at Madame Puddifoot's.

Draco watched from a distance and it looked more like a wake than a reception, everyone was sitting around staring into their drinks while a band over in the corner played music. The bride was dressed in long white robes trimmed in gold and she was staring vacantly at her clasped hands while the groom wearing black robes trimmed in gold was knocking back fire whiskey as if there were no tomorrow. He didn't want to be _that_. He didn't want to be _them_.

The couple honestly reminded him of his parents. The coldness, the cohabitation, the fact that in as long as he could remember he couldn't remember his parents ever having a real conversation about anything. He felt destined to turn into his father, to be everything that Lucius Malfoy was. This marriage was just one more stepping stone, one more nail in his coffin. Feeling more depressed then ever, Draco made his way back to his broom and then made his way back to Hogwarts.

He was supposed to be conducting Quidditch practice but instead he went to his dorm room, he laid down on his bed, put an arm over his face feeling the effects of the little sleep he had gotten the night before. He was so tired, but sleep was eluding him. After awhile he sighed. He wasn't going to be sleeping any time soon. He might as well go to his detentions. He was already late. He could just imagine what Granger was going to say.

This wasn't going to be good.

* * *

Hermione made her way to the dungeons and then entered the potions classroom. Snape was sitting at his desk and he looked up as she entered. She shivered a little bit and wondered what kind of heating system the castle had. It was cold and all she wanted was to get this over with so that she could go back to the warmth and comfort of her room and bed.

Hermione wasn't the type to wallow, but all she wanted to do was curl up in bed and cry. This day had been an absolute mess and if it spoke of things to come she didn't know how she'd ever get through it. She, well honestly _he_, had messed up an assignment. She had disappointed Dumbledore and disappointed Snape. It didn't matter how much she disliked the Potion's Professor, he was still her teacher and he honestly taught well.

Hermione knew that he had high expectations for her, Merlin knew she had them for herself, and today both of them had been let down. She didn't know what else to do other than show up and try again. At this point it was really the only option other than giving up.

"When Mr. Malfoy arrives you can get started," Snap said, directing his attention back to grading papers.

Hermione took a seat on a stool and waited... and waited. She looked up at the clock and saw that it was all ready ten after seven and she wanted to get this over with already. If she was up past midnight doing Filch's detention then the Bouncing Ferret was going to make a revival. After another five minutes she was nearly livid. Who did he think he was that he could waste her time like this?

"Professor, I don't think he's coming."

Snape looked up annoyed, "You can start. Ask if you need assistance."

Hermione got the ingredients and a cauldron all the while fuming. So, he was going to stick her with all of the work while he was probably in his room relaxing? Well there was no way she was going to Filch's detention by herself. If he wasn't going to suffer the consequences then neither was she.

Hermione had just began to boil the water when Malfoy walked in. She shot him a glare but he was pretending like she didn't exist.

"Sorry I'm late Professor."

Snape nodded in acknowledgment and Draco walked over to her. She resisted the urge to blast him for being late but decided it wasn't worth it. Two detentions in one night was quite enough for her. She told herself that the initial anger at him over the whole situation would die down eventually. Surely she couldn't hate him this much for the next few years. Still, at the moment she was quite sure that it wouldn't be any time soon.

An hour later their potion was finished and stored safely away and Snape dismissed them. Hermione silently followed Malfoy to the Great Hall where Filch, along with Mrs. Norris, was waiting there for them.

"Follow me," Filch grumbled as he lead them through the castle. Hermione had no idea where they were going. Her only hope was that it didn't involve toilets. She hoped that Dumbledore was not that cruel.

Finally Filch stopped in front of a door.

They were in front of the Trophy Room.

Filch looked at them with a malicious glee as he opened the door.

"I want every one of these sparkling. You aren't to be using magic, and I'll know if you do mark my words. I'll come check on your progress in a few hours," he said with what sounded like an evil little cackle.

As Hermione and Draco walked in the lights came on. She looked around and sighed. It didn't look as if any of the trophies had been cleaned since Ron had served detention there in his second year. It was going to be a long night.

Filch left the room and shut the door behind himself. Hermione heard a suspicious click as it shut. She walked over to the door and tried to turn the door knob but didn't budge. It was locked. She turned to Draco who had his arm crossed over his chest and was smirking at her.

"This isn't funny, we're locked in here," she tried to keep the panic from her voice. She didn't want to be stuck in here with him with no sort of magic and no way to escape. Hermione wasn't particularly worried that he would cause her physical harm but she was afraid of the things that he would say. If there was one thing Draco Malfoy was known for it was his cruelty. She didn't want more reasons to hate him. More reasons to not want to marry him.

"Does it really surprise you that we're locked in? Dumbledore wanted us to talk to each other so he had us shut in here with no way out. Unless you fancy jumping out the window that is." He looked a little hopeful at that last bit.

Hermione glared at him knowing that he was right. Dumbledore had gotten his way in the end, whether or not she and Malfoy had agreed to it. Well, she'd just get to cleaning and ignore Malfoy and hopefully Filch would be back soon. There was nothing that said she had to talk to him. She turned around only to find that there were no buckets, no rags, and nothing whatsoever that could be used to clean with.

Right about then she wanted to strangle Dumbledore.

"This is just great," Hermione muttered walking to the other end of the room, as far away from him as possible. For twenty minutes she busied herself by looking at the various trophies, medals, and plaques on the shelves. After a little while she came across a plaque with three golden badges mounted on it. One badge had her name, another had Ron's, and the other badge had Harry's name. It was the _Special Service to the School _award they'd received in their second year for finding the Chamber of Secrets. She took it off the shelf and dusted it off with her sleeve. There weren't going to be any more adventures.

Hermione, Harry, and Ron had always talked about what fun they were going to have after they graduated. Trips to London where they could show Ron all of the oddities of the Muggle world. Staying at The Burrow for the summer holidays. With Fred and George gone Mrs. Weasley had insisted that Harry and Hermione come and stay. It had sounded like such a brilliant idea. One last time of carefree fun before they all had to get jobs and make their own way in the wizarding world. Now her future consisted of staying in a dusty mansion. There would be no late summer nights sitting outside with her best friends, none of Mrs Weasley's famous omelets in the morning, no sitting with Ginny and talking about girl stuff. All of that was gone for her. Instead she'd be Mrs. Malfoy. She'd have to sleep in his bed... bear his child.

Hermione angrily brushed tears from her face. She wasn't going to cry in front him. She walked over to a corner and sat down, the award still in her hands. She shook her head, she wasn't going to have a child with him either, no child of hers would ever grow up a Malfoy.

It was going to be a long night indeed.

* * *

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	6. The Detention II

Draco stood leaning against a shelf wondering why he had decided to come to this stupid detention in the first place. That was easy, because if his father found out... Draco shook his head wondering if there was ever going to be a time in his life when it wouldn't matter to him what his father wanted him to do. He could just imagine what his father would say if he heard that Draco was acting out. He might figure out that Draco was less than happy with current circumstances.

Draco leaned his head against the wall. Things were never going to change. He was always going to be an extension of his father, nothing but a puppet that had no control over what he did. He hated the power his father held over him but obeying was easier because those who didn't obey Lucius Malfoy usually didn't live very long. Not that his life was worth living, it wasn't really even his life to begin with. He sighed and turned around wondering what Granger was doing.

He watched as she traveled around the room looking at the different trophies and awards. He saw her pull one from the shelf and for five minutes straight she just stood and stared at it. She looked unhappy and he wondered what was so sad about an award but he didn't want to get close enough to see what it was. She walked over to a corner and sat down and he was amazed how she could sit on the filthy floor. Everything was covered in dirt and dust.

Granger had pulled her knees up to her chest and was sitting with her head resting on her arms and her eyes closed. He crept closer and managed to see what award she had been looking at. It was the award that she, Potter, and Weasley got for the whole Chamber of Secrets thing. He made his way back to the other end of the room, far away from her. He wished he would have brought his wand, even though Dumbledore had told them not to.

Draco paced back and forth for a quarter of an hour hoping that someone would come and get them out of there. He took off his robes and laid them on the floor and then he sat down. He hated getting dirty. He told himself that there was no way Dumbledore or Filch were going to keep them locked up together for the whole night. He closed his eyes glad that it was Friday. At least he didn't have any homework due the next day. He did have a Quidditch match and if he was going to catch the snitch he needed to get sleep. He rested his back against the wall and tried to nap but he was too uncomfortable.

"Great," he muttered as he tried again to find a comfortable position. After awhile he gave up, the only way he was going to get any sleep was if he laid down on the filthy floor. He wasn't a house elf so he wasn't going to act like one.

Half an hour later he had changed his mind.

He laid down trying to keep his body on his robe and off the floor but in the end his legs were left to gather dirt. He looked over at Granger. She had been quiet the whole time and he wondered if she had fallen asleep. She hadn't, she was just staring at the floor as if there was something interesting happening to the dusty, dirty, spot.

"Do you think we'll be stuck here all night?" he asked finally. The silence had begun to grate on his nerves. He just wanted to hear the sound of voices, no matter who's voice it was. She looked up as if remembering where she was.

"I don't know," she said quietly.

They stayed silent for the better part of an hour. He tried to fall asleep but the floor was hard and he was used to the luxury of a soft feather bed.

"Did you know?" Granger asked suddenly, startling him.

"Know what?" he asked turning over and propping himself up on his elbows. He was feeling the constant urge to sneeze.

"About the marriage? It was your father who petitioned it in your name. I was wondering if you knew." He could tell that she was trying to hold back her hostility.

"No, I didn't know. I had only found out a few minutes before you came into Dumbledore's office." He didn't tell her that his father had hinted at it. It wasn't his fault that he hadn't been able to figure out what his father had meant by his "new pet".

"Then why did you agree to it? Why didn't you ask your father to reconsider?"

"Because when my father tells me to do something, I do it,. No questions asked."

"What a great way to live your life," she said sarcastically, the hostility breaking through whatever walls she was using to hold it in.

"It's worked so far," he said defiantly even though he knew that it hadn't. He wasn't going to tell her that. He had a reputation, there was a way that people saw him, and her questions were making him feel uneasy. Despite the fact that he didn't want to be his father he wanted people to believe that he was that person. It was just easier like that. What did she know of his life anyway?

Nothing.

Apparently the conversation was over because she didn't say anything. He rolled back over on his back. As the minutes ticked by complete exhaustion began to cloud his thoughts and after awhile he fell into a restless sleep.

* * *

Hermione glanced over at Draco as he slept. He was muttering something but she couldn't hear what it was and she really didn't want to. She was sure it was along the lines of 'filthy mudblood'. She closed her eyes wishing that she would be able to fall asleep too but she doubted it. There were too many thoughts running through her head. Thoughts of the future and of the past. She wanted so much to be free but she felt like a caged animal and it wasn't being locked in the room that made her feel like that. She had always been so in control of her life, her grades, her emotions. Now it seemed as if everything was spiraling out of control. She hadn't been able to concentrate on her studies today and her future was no longer something she could decide. She felt like she was drowning and the faster she tried to swim to the surface the deeper she sank.

"No!"

Hermione's eyes jerked open as she wondered what was happening. Malfoy had bolted upright and he was breathing heavily as he looked around and took in his surroundings. She curiously watched as he pulled up his sleeve and looked at the pale skin of his arm. Confusion was written all over his face. As he saw her he seemed to realize where he was. They sat for a moment, just staring at each other. Hermione didn't know what to say.

"Are you all right?" Hermione finally asked at last. It was more curiosity than concern that made her ask. So Draco had nightmares like everyone else? What about? Kittens chasing rainbows?

"What time is it?" asked Draco opting not to answer.

"Probably after one," she said shortly as she looked up at the ceiling, studying the patterns of cobwebs. She honestly hoped Harry and Ron hadn't decided to wait up for her.

There was a long silence and she wondered what he had been dreaming about. Whatever it was it had seemed pretty bad. She imagined it had to take a lot for Draco Malfoy to wake up from sleeping yelling. He was sitting quietly staring at the wall and he still looked shaken. Her couldn't stand it anymore.

"What were you dreaming about?" she asked hesitantly.

"Nothing," he said as he laid back down and then rolled over so that his back was to her.

"It looked intense..."

"Can we just drop it? I don't want to talk about it with you."

"Fine with me," she said wrapping her arms around herself. She had never noticed how cold the castle got at night. Already her fingers were numb with the cold. Well things certainly couldn't get much worse. After all, she was locked in a room with a Slytherin who hated her and would soon be her husband. It was too uncomfortable to sleep, not to mention she freezing. She didn't think much else could go wrong.

Unfortunately she was wrong because at that moment she had the sudden urge to pee and there was no toilet in sight.

She told herself that if she just went to sleep she would be able to hold it until morning but she really had to go. She was just going to have to wait because there was nothing else she could do, short of wetting herself and she had no desire to be tortured by Malfoy about it for the next ten years. She squirmed uncomfortably trying to hold it in. Ten minutes later she was fit to burst and Draco had turned around, seemingly unable to fall back asleep, and seemed to have noticed that she was squirming quite a bit.

"Is something wrong?" he asked. He seemed more annoyed, than concerned.

"No... yes, I have to go to the bathroom... badly, very badly." She didn't want to tell him but maybe he could come up with someway to get the door open.

He snickered and she glared at him. She was in no mood to be laughed at.

"There are plenty of cups to choose from," he said smirking as he indicated the shelf that held a variety of Quidditch Cup trophies.

"That's disgusting. I'm not taking a pee in a trophy," she said stubbornly.

"Have it your way," he said leaning back against the wall with his eyes closed.

A few minutes later she heard something that sounded like running water.

"Malfoy, stop it," she said threateningly through clenched teeth.

"Stop what?" he asked innocently.

"Making that noise, it's distracting."

"I wasn't doing anything."

"Yes, you were and if you do it again when we get out of here I'll..."

"You'll what? Put my head in a toilet and flush it?" he asked barely controlling his glee. Whatever had been bothering him in his dream had been seemingly forgotten about in the wake of her discomfort. She couldn't stand it another moment and she was honestly going to throttle Dumbledore the next time she saw him for not being considerate enough to provide a toilet and a blanket. Honestly this was bordering on torture.

"That's it, turn around and plug your ears and if you look I swear I'll curse you so badly you'll have boils for a week."

He obeyed and she stood up and got the biggest trophy cup that she could find and then she took it over to the corner. It was the most humiliating moment in her entire life, going to the bathroom in front of her all time nemesis, but when she was done she felt so much better she didn't really care. She stashed the trophy as far away as possible and then sat back down.

The minutes continued to tick by and she began to wonder what she was going to do until morning. She was unable to sleep and thinking didn't do anything but upset her so she had to entertain herself. Throwing things at Malfoy was appealing but she figured that might be counter productive and lead to more detentions.

"Would you mind telling me about – about Malfoy Manor?" she asked hesitantly about the place that would probably be her home after she graduated. It was making conversation and she had to resolve herself to her fate eventually. Now was as good a time as any. The logical part of her mind kept telling her to get the facts, accept them, and then find away to make everything tolerable. The emotional part of her still wanted to spend all day in bed crying.

"Well, it's not all dark and dreary with blood stains on the walls if that's what your thinking. It's nice enough I suppose, there are fifteen bedrooms, and nearly as many bathrooms. It's out in the countryside hidden from muggles and there are miles of gardens. Most of the furniture inside is antique and expensive." He shrugged, "That's about it. What's your house like?"

"It's just outside London, it has two bedrooms. It's pretty small. My parents could get a bigger house if they wanted to but it's just the two of them, and of course I'm just home during the summer and on holidays, but now..." she looked pointedly at him, how was she ever going to tell her parents? She couldn't tell them... ever.

"I – I miss them sometimes." Hermione didn't know why she said it, to him anyway, but it was true. She felt bad saying anything about missing them to Harry and Ron was surrounded by family wherever he went so it wasn't something she really talked about.

"Do they know about... about you know?"

"No, I don't think I'll tell them. I'll just have to make something up. Harry, Ron, and I were going to go visit them for a weekend this summer. My parents have been wanting to invite them over for ages. I was really looking forward to it," she said trying to swallow the lump in her throat.

"You can still go. I don't care."

"But – I didn't think –," she was confused. When she pictured her future she supposed she pictured herself forbidden to leave Mallfoy grounds, a virtual prisoner. She had never considered anything else.

"I'm not a total prick, Granger."

She raised an eyebrow.

"Alright, maybe I am, but the less time I have to spend with you the better."

"Wouldn't your father get angry?" she asked. Things were starting to look marginally better. If Malfoy didn't want to be around her as much as she didn't want to be around him maybe she could get away for extended periods of time and live her own life.

"I can give him a few excuses. Hopefully he'll be busy with – with other things."

"Are you a Death-Eater?" the question left her lips before she could stop it. She watched as his skin got a few shades paler, but his eyes, his eyes were angry.

"I don't see how that's any of your business, Granger," he growled and she could see she was in dangerous territory, but now that the question had been asked she wanted an answer.

"You're – you're going to be my husband. I think I have a right to know," she persisted. A part of her didn't want to know the answer. If she knew for a fact that he was a Death Eater she wasn't sure that she would be able to marry him no matter what the consequences were. She couldn't marry someone who's sole purpose in life was to facilitate Harry's death and Voldemort's rise to power, someone who on any given night might go out and kill muggles. Muggles like her mother, or her father, she wouldn't do it.

"And if I am you'll go blabbing to Dumbledore and your little friends, wouldn't you?" he sneered.

"No, I won't." It was the truth. If he was willing to be honest with her then she would keep the secret. No matter what it was.

"I'm not. Happy now?" He looked at her defiantly as if daring her to call him a liar and on any given day she wouldn't have trusted him as far as she could throw him. Right now there was something in his eyes that made her believe that he was telling her the truth.

"Happy? No. Relieved? A little."

That was one less worry.

* * *

**As always be kind, rewind, or review, you know the drill. :P**


	7. The Challenge

Hermione and Draco sat in the trophy room for awhile in complete silence. Draco was sitting there thinking. He was half tempted to tell her what his father had planned for him. He wanted to confide in somebody, to share the burden. He didn't think he could confide in her. She would find him just as revolting as ever. She couldn't understand what he was set to go through. Granger couldn't comprehend the fear that he felt. The dread, the inability to do anything. In that moment he wanted nothing more than to tell her but he couldn't. Long ago he had learned that people would do nothing but exploit your vulnerabilities. He couldn't risk that.

He didn't want to feel more vulnerable than he already did. That was something that he wasn't used to feeling and he wasn't going to start now. Especially not in front of her. Sometimes he just wanted someone to give him a plan, to tell him that it was alright, that he was strong enough to stand up to his father. That everything would work out in the end. That wasn't the case though. Granger wasn't that person, would never be that person. He could never let her be that person.

He was always going to be alone and that was the way he wanted it.

His gray eyes traveled to her as if seeing her for the first time. He was going to marry her. In a few short days she was going to be his wife, someone that he was supposed to share his most intimate thoughts and wants and desires with. He was supposed to watch her grow with his child, love her, want her, and instead it was all a joke. It had all been turned into a mockery. It wasn't as if he ever really thought that he would have those things with someone but the sheer annihilation of that dream was disturbing to him. He wanted so much to find something to hold onto. Something in his future to look forward to but at every turn he was empty handed.

Draco looked up as Granger broke the silence.

"What's your favorite subject?"

"We go from talking about Death Eaters to school? Good one, Granger." Honestly he was relieved that she had moved onto a lighter topic. He wanted nothing more than to forget about the approaching summer and all of the problems that would go along with it. He wanted to forget about her as well but that didn't seem possible.

"You're the one that wanted to talk about something else. It's not like I want to tell you my dreams and aspirations for the future," she said crossing her arms. Draco agreed with her. There really wasn't much they could talk about without treading topics that he was sure that neither one of them wanted to think about, let alone talk about. Still, this was Hermione Granger, her dreams and aspirations weren't much of a secret.

"I already know your dreams and aspirations, Granger. You want to graduate with the highest possible score on you N.E.W.T.S. and then you want to have a challenging, complicated career. I'm sure you want to help the Muggles and all that too so head of the Muggle Relations Department at the Ministry. At some point you want to be Minister of Magic too. How am I doing so far?"

"The challenging career and helping muggles were right but I have no intention of ever becoming Minister of Magic and I will be happy with any NEWT score that I get," she said simply. He smirked, she was such a liar. Happy with any score she got? She'd blow the whole castle to the ground if she didn't pass them all and get the highest score. That was the Hermione Granger he knew. Not that he could say that he really knew her at all.

"Yeah right, you'll throw a fit if you don't get the highest score in our year."

"Of course I'd throw a fit," she said with a small smile, "But as long as I beat you and Anthony Goldstein I will be a very happy girl." It was the first time that he had seen her really smile in a long time. It disturbed him that he noticed. She had looked so sad lately. Lately being this last day, he didn't pay enough attention to her on a daily basis to have anything to compare it to. He didn't care, of course he didn't care, but the change the smile brought to her face was a noticeable one. He had never thought that she was pretty, in the first few years that he'd known her with her bushy hair, obnoxiously bossy voice, and her gigantic teeth she had been quite the opposite. He had to admit that she had matured rather well. He didn't know why he was realizing it at that moment. Her hair was still bushy but was, at the moment, tied back and her teeth were normal looking, she was almost _nice_ looking. Draco didn't like the turn his thoughts had taken so he resorted to antagonism.

"You think you'll get a higher score than I will?" he asked knowing very well that she would. After all, she was Hermione Granger.

"Absolutely. I'm not underestimating you though. If you actually tried and didn't cheat or have other people do your homework for you you'd probably be one of the top five students in our year, but as it were you're a Slytherin and we all know you simply have to cheat. It's like in the Slytherin code of conduct or something."

Draco wryly smiled. He wasn't sure if that was true or not. He had a problem with applying himself to his studies. He got lazy and distracted, that's just the way it was. He really didn't have to try. Why bother? As long as his grades weren't despicable enough to have him held back or expelled then he had no worries. However, lately his thoughts were nothing worth having and it would be good to get his mind off of everything. Delve into his studies. Challenge himself. A plan was forming in his head.

"I bet you that by the end of the year, without cheating or buying homework, I can best you as the top student in our year." Honestly it was a fool's bet but if he set his mind to it he had a chance. The opportunity to be better at something than Granger was suddenly too much of a temptation to pass up.

"In your dreams," she said loftily.

"Do you accept?" he asked, his gray eyes challenging hers. He looked into her brown eyes and she looked away from him.

"How do I know you won't cheat?" she asked skeptically. She seemed to realize that he was actually serious. It looked like she was thinking it over and wondering what the chances were that he wouldn't cheat.

"I give you my word." Not that it was worth much, even he knew that.

She laughed.

"Malfoy, in case you've forgotten, you're a Slytherin, and only a fool takes a Slytherin on his word. Unless it's a threat of course, you all seem pretty good at carrying those out."

"All right," he said trying to think of something he could give her if he cheated. "If you find me cheating I'll give you my Thunderbolt 5000," he said reluctantly. It was his most prized possession but he was quite excited about this challenge.

"Why would I want a silly broom?"

"Silly?" he screeched. "It's the fastest broom in the world and –,"

"And you could just as easily buy a new one if you lost, sorry, no deal."

He was silent for a few minutes thinking and she yawned. He caught it and yawned after her. He was so tired and he longed for his nice soft bed. He cursed Dumbledore again for putting them both in this predicament. He sat there for a few minutes thinking about what could inspire her to take up his bet.

Something occurred to him. How did one win over Hermione Granger? Books and knowledge of course.

"All right, if I lose or I cheat, I will let you pick a room in the mansion to convert into your own personal library and I'll buy you as many books as you want."

"And how big would this library be?" she asked looking interested.

"As big as you want it to be. Do we have a deal?" He was glad that he had thought of something that had caught her attention. Maybe if he was so focused on winning this bet he could ignore that it was against his wife.

"What exactly happens if you win and I lose. Not that it will ever happen," she said sleepily as she laid her head against the wall.

"I don't know. I'll have the supreme satisfaction of rubbing my victory in your face." He'd never let her live it down either. He'd have the knowledge that she wasn't perfect after all and that there was something that she could be bested at.

She considered it for a few moments.

"You've got yourself a deal," she said finally, holding out her hand.

"Prepare for your downfall, Granger," he said shaking her hand with a confident smile.

"You wish, Malfoy."

Draco resumed his position on the floor. He realized suddenly that Dumbledore's plan seemed to have worked. The dislike he felt for her was at its usual level and she didn't seem to have as much animosity towards him as she had before. He was sure it was the fact that he had let her know that he wasn't going to keep her prisoner once they moved into Malfoy Manner. Quite the opposite, the less time they spent together the better.

He yawned again but held off going to sleep. Earlier he'd had a dream about the Death Eater ceremony, of Voldemort branding him with the Dark Mark. The nightmare wasn't a stranger to him, he'd had it many times, but never in front of another person. Not even Pansy, she never slept in his bed with him, it was one of his rules. To have someone else witness it, to have Granger of all people witness it made him unhappy. His nightmares were a secret, on of his darkest, he didn't want anyone to know the fear that he had. He was Draco Malfoy. Malfoy's didn't get scared.

* * *

Hermione yawned and opened her eyes as sunlight flooded through the room. It took her a few moments to gather her bearings as she sat up and looked around. She was surprised to see that the door to the trophy room was wide open. A few feet away Malfoy had also fallen asleep and she watched with amusement as a string of drool ran out of the corner of his mouth. When he was asleep he didn't look like an evil ferret, in fact he looked almost innocent. Thinking of Draco Malfoy as innocent was laughable whether he was sleeping or not. She was half tempted to just leave him there but decided that she might as well be nice and tell him that the door was open.

Her body ached from the awkward position that she had spent the night sleeping in and she really didn't want to move. She sat there for awhile just looking at him. Most girls in her year thought that he was handsome but she'd never seen it, mainly because his personality clouded whatever positive physical attributes that he had. Either way she usually wasn't attracted to his sort anyway. She didn't really know what she was attracted to but he definitely wasn't it.

Hermione supposed Viktor Krum was a good example, tall, dark, and handsome. Also athletic and not all that intelligent. She suppressed a little laugh. No, Viktor Krum certainly didn't embody her perfect man. Hermione had always figured that she'd have time to figure out what she wanted in a potential mate. That, however, had been decided for her. Blond, gray eyed, and fine featured. While he had muscles from playing Quidditch he wasn't muscular, his form was actually rather lithe and graceful. So this was her so called "perfect man"? She didn't like it.

Hermione had to give Dumbledore a little bit of credit. Despite the fact that she hated to admit it his plan had been a minor success. Finding out that Draco had been as surprised about the marriage as she was had helped, the fact that he didn't seem to intend to keep her chained up in the basement was helpful, and that he had told her that he wasn't a Death Eater, were all things that her highly logical brain classified in the Pro category of this very Con situation.

What was done, was done. They had both signed the contract and now they had to go through with it. It wasn't going to be easy, it wasn't going to make her happy, but if she could keep finding little things that made the situation just the tiniest bit better than this whole situation would almost, almost, be bearable.

Malfoy was never going to be someone she could be friends with, or talk to, and Merlin knew that she despised him for every little thing he had done to her and her friends over the past several years, but she had to find a way to accept it. She could let this break her or she could do everything possible to make it easy for herself. That started with letting go of the anger, and she was trying.

Hermione sat there a few moments longer and then decided that it was silly to spend any more of her day stuck in this wretched room. She needed a shower, and then she was going to sleep the rest of the morning away, homework or no homework.

She moved close to him and her hand hovered above his shoulder. She was almost afraid to touch him. It was a right that she didn't feel like she had. Touch was such an intimate thing, especially when one was sleeping and she felt uncomfortable attempting to touch him, if only it was to wake him up. Finally, she gently shook his shoulder and he bolted upright as if her touch had burned.

"It's just me," she said moving back a little and letting him wake up. She watched as looked around in confusion and his eyes fell on her. She was surprised that there was no malice in his gaze. It unnerved her. There was something about him being in a half asleep haze that made him… different.

"The door is unlocked, we can leave now." It was then she noticed that his hair was sticking up at odd angles and his usually impeccable style was now quite disheveled. She couldn't help laughing at catching him such a moment of gracelessness. He seemed to realize why she started laughing and he glared at her.

"Don't flatter yourself, Granger, you don't look much better," he said standing up and brushing the dust and dirt from his clothes.

Hermione was surprised that his reply wasn't vicious, it was more... almost… playful.

"You might want to wipe that drool off of your face," she said with a sweet smile after she had gotten her laughter under control.

"You might want to get a potion to help with your snoring problem," he said walking out the door.

"I do not have a snoring problem!" she said as she followed him out into the hallway.

"Tell that to the rest of the castle, I'm sure they all heard you last night."

* * *

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	8. The Rumor

The weekend passed and it was as normal as any weekend at Hogwarts could be. Hermione spent that Saturday sleeping in until almost noon and then a lunch so big even Ron was impressed. She had told them a little about what had happened in the Trophy room. She didn't mention a lot of their conversation other than the fact that as it stood now Draco was okay with them continuing their summer plans. She could tell that they didn't believe that he would keep his word but Hermione had to believe it.

At this point believing that she would have freedom was one of the only things that was making all of this tolerable. She liked being able to sleep, she liked having her appetite back, and she liked actually wanting to study. The worry from the last few days had totally knocked her off balance and she was doing everything in her power to get back to being herself. If she had delude herself into believing good things about Malfoy then so be it.

Hermione allowed herself to push away thoughts of Malfoy and forget that in mere days she would be married to him. She wanted to have a normal weekend with her friends and by Merlin she was going to have it. She wanted it and she needed it. She needed to show herself that life as she knew it was not ending.

So far no one but Harry and Ron knew about the upcoming nuptials. She almost hoped that she would be able to keep it a secret until the day it was to happen, if not longer. However, keeping a secret at Hogwarts was not an easy thing to do. The rumors went from her being pregnant, with either Ron or Harry's child, which she found absolutely laughable, to rumors that she had failed a test, which was equally laughable.

It was Monday evening and she was sitting in front of the fireplace in the Gryffindor Common Room petting Crookshanks thinking about the day. Potions had gone much better than it had the other day. She and Malfoy managed to get through class without even insulting her. They didn't really talk but there was no long the angry, near murderous anger between them, which was a welcome change.

Hermione looked up from her thoughts when Ginny walked up to her. Hermione had been dreading breaking the news to Ginny who was really her only female friend. She felt bad for keeping it a secret for the few days that she had, but it had been difficult enough to tell Harry and Ron and she hadn't wanted to do it again. Didn't want another person worrying about her.

In a little part of her mind she was hoping that Dumbledore was going to tell her that things had changed and she wasn't going to have to go through it. There was no reason to bother anyone with it if it wasn't going to happen anyway. However as the days ticked by she resolved herself more and more to the fact that a marriage to Malfoy seemed pretty inevitable.

"Hermione, can we talk upstairs?" Ginny asked. Hermione knew what she wanted to talk about. She could hear it in her voice and her stomach tied itself into knots. How could she tell Ginny? The same way she had told Harry and Ron, she just had to be as straight forward as possible.

"Sure ,Gin," Hermione said setting Crookshanks down on the floor and then following Ginny up the stairs to the sixth years girls dormitory. Ginny made sure the room was empty before shutting the door behind them.

"I was just downstairs in the library when Pansy Parkinson burst in shrieking and told us all at the top of her lungs, that you were going to marry Malfoy, Draco Malfoy. At first I thought she was just trying to start something but you've been acting very odd and I can tell Harry and Ron are keeping something from me. Most of the time I don't mind but... Hermione, was what Pansy said true?"

Hermione looked at her hands wishing she could deny what Pansy had said, the reality of the situation started to come back and she wished she could block it all out but she couldn't. So Pansy had decided to tell the whole school? It figured, after all Hermione was about to become the 'other woman'. Everyone knew that she and Draco were "together". From the rumors that she heard it didn't stop him from being with other girls but Pansy seemed to believe she had a claim to him.

"It's true. Thursday we're supposed to get married. It's all his father's doing. I don't want to but I really don't have any other choice. I didn't know how to tell you. I didn't want to tell you, or anyone. You understand, don't you?" she asked worriedly, hoping that Ginny wouldn't be mad.

"Oh, Hermione!" said Ginny hugging her. "This is horrible, how could the slimy ferret do this to you?"

"It was Lucius who did it." Hermione didn't know why she was defending Draco, he had the power to stop it if he wanted to. He was just too afraid to. She was also afraid. What a pair they were going to be.

"I don't know what I'm going to do," Hermione said running her fingers through her hair. "Now that everyone knows it's going to be so much worse. How am I going to get through this?" she asked, suddenly finding herself on the verge of tears. She didn't want to see the pitying looks or hear the suggestive comments. She wanted to lock herself in her room and never come out again.

"Your friends will be beside you all the way Hermione."

By the time she had finished telling Ginny everything that had happened over the last few days and they went back downstairs, the whole common room was full of students. When they saw her on the stairs everyone suddenly stopped talking and looked at her. Her whole face went red at being the center of attention and she swallowed nervously as they looked at her expectantly. It was Lavender Brown that seemed to have decided to speak for all of them.

"Hermione, we just heard – is it true that you're going to marry Draco Malfoy?"

Hermione wanted to tell them all to go away and mind their own business but she did see that some people looked concerned for her and there was no use denying the truth. They were all going to find out soon enough. It wasn't like it would be easy to explain why she and Draco were going to be sharing a room, or why her Professors were going to start calling her Mrs. Malfoy. This was the moment of truth. Her chance to get everything out in the open.

"Yes, it's true."

The room erupted as everyone began talking at once. Through the multitude of voices she heard someone call her a traitor and others started to agree. She was a traitor? How could they even think that?

Harry and Ron had made their way over to her and now stood on either side of her. She wanted to tell them that she didn't want to marry Malfoy, that it wasn't her choice but no one was giving her a chance. They wouldn't stop talking.

"Quiet!"

Hermione looked around startled, wondering where the loud voice had come from. She was quite surprised to see that it was Neville Longbottom who had magically amplified his voice to get everyone's attention and quiet the room. Everyone immediately stopped talking and looked at him while Neville looked at her sheepishly.

"Let Hermione finish talking," he said after he had ended the spell.

Hermione looked around and took a deep breath.

"Thanks Neville. It's not my choice to marry Malfoy, but because of the new law if I refuse to marry him then I have to hand my wand over to the Ministry of Magic and be obliviated so that I don't remember my life here. I'm not asking any of you to accept this, I don't really accept it, but there's nothing that can be done about it. Now, if you'll excuse me I have homework to do."

She bid Harry, Ron, and Ginny goodnight and then she turned and went upstairs to the Head Girl room where she locked the door, threw herself on the bed and told herself not to cry.

* * *

Draco's evening wasn't going much better. Pansy's father had owled her about his engagement to Granger and Pansy had saw fit to run into the Slytherin common room screaming at the top of her lungs that there was no way he was going to marry the 'filthy mudblood' unless it was over her dead body. He had calmly told her that he was in fact going to marry Granger. Pansy had then called him several names that's vulgarity had surprised even him. Then she had stormed out telling him that the whole school was going to know his 'dirty little secret'. That had been two hours ago and he had no doubt that by now the entire school did know. His fellow Slytherin's reactions had been somewhat surprising. They all saw it as the ultimate way to torture the Gryffindor and were quite happy about it. Blaise Zabini had even gone so far as to ask to have their first child named after him which had made Draco's stomach churn at the thought but he'd laughed for appearances sake.

Draco was now in his room staring at a letter from his father that he hadn't worked up the courage yet to read. He always hated reading letters from his father, especially after this whole marriage mess. Finally he opened the envelope and pulled the letter out and began to read. It said that he was pleased that Draco had signed the marriage contract and that he and Narcissa would be arriving for the wedding on Thursday. Draco frowned and tossed the letter aside. He hadn't thought that his parents would be coming, the week was beginning to look even worse.

He needed to get away. It was nearing curfew in about an hour but he was loathe to stay in the Slytherin Common Room and hear all of the jokes at his expense, and Granger's. There'd already been several discussion about her sexual prowess and how he would have to inform them all about whether Granger matched up to Pansy. He found himself being offended on her behalf, Granger's not Pansy's. The way they were talking about her made him angry. He wasn't sure why. If it were someone else in his position he would probably be saying the same thing.

It was just neither of them had asked for this. She was stuck and he was stuck and he felt an almost comradery towards her for it. They were in this together, despite the fact that neither of them wanted to be and he felt like he owed her more than sitting around analyzing who had a better chest. Granger was probably furious with him anyway. It hadn't been his fault that everyone had found out what had happened. Still, he felt the need to explain himself. They had come to a tentative understanding of one another since they'd had detention together. Besides Potions he hadn't spoken to her since.

Well, they were going to be married within the week and he might as well speak to her now. He made his way up to the owlery and wrote her a quick note telling her that he'd like to meet her up on the Astronomy Tower as soon as possible. With that done he went up to the Astronomy tower. He caught two fifth years up there making out and using his power as a Head Boy he sent them back to their Common Rooms. It was just sunset and he stood there looking at the sky. It was cold and he cast a warming spell on his robes to chase away the worst of the chill.

He stood there for at least fifteen minutes waiting but she didn't show up. He could see the moon rising on the horizon. He still wasn't sure what his intentions were with having her meet him like this. He just had an urge to keep the civility and have her not despise him any more than she already did. He heard the door open and shut behind him and he turned around to see her standing there. She looked upset, and he instantly regretted bothering her. He wasn't good at comforting people and he was positive that even if he tried he could only make things worse.

She stood there looking at him and he supposed that he ought to say something. After all, he had requested that she come up here and speak to him. He wasn't sure what he could say that would make things right. Didn't even know why he wanted to. He hadn't started this, his father had. He had no control over that. He wanted to make her understand that.

"I guess you've heard that Pansy Parkinson found out about... about things and she threw a fit about it. I didn't tell her. If I had my way she wouldn't have found out at all. I'm.. well.. I'm sorry if you wanted to tell people yourself. I didn't mean for it to get out this way." He suddenly realized that he could've just owled that to her. There was really no reason for him to have called her all the way up here just to tell her that. He felt like an idiot.

"You wanted to apologize for Pansy? Right. Thanks. Makes it all better." She turned to go away and he felt guilty. About what, he didn't know. He supposed that while neither of them had any say in this it was almost like he had a responsibility to her. His father had done this, she was a pawn, they both were. After this weekend he realized that they could be civil to each other and he realized that it was for the best that it stayed that way, he wanted it to stay that way.

"Granger, I really... I really don't know what to say." He didn't owe her anything, he hadn't done anything to her, not recently anyway. What did she want from him? He couldn't make things better. He didn't even know how to try to make things better. This was all hopeless.

"I don't need you to be sorry. I just need _this_ to stop destroying my life."

She walked away and he watched as she slammed the door.

What did she want him to do?

Draco looked out into the darkening sky, watched his breath make wispy tendrils in the air. He needed to go back to his room, to sleep. He wished he could go back two weeks, to where the only thing he had to worry about was what would happen this summer. Right now he felt so burdened and he hated that feeling.

He wanted things to go back to normal, yet normal seemed so far out of his reach. With a sigh he turned around and made his way back to the Dungeon, where the nightmares came and his pillows muffled his sounds.

* * *

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	9. The Wedding Plans

The next day Hermione sat in Charms as she absently listened to Professor Flitwick drone on about whatever it was that he was talking about. She had stopped paying attention ages ago. It wasn't exactly that she was uninterested in what he had to say, it was just that the thoughts in her head were making it hard to concentrate on anything. Especially school work. She had laid in bed, awake, long into the night last night and come to many conclusions. She was tired of fighting and tired of trying to change things.

She had decided to do the mature thing.

She was going to accept that, for the moment, things could not be changed. Which meant she had to accept them with grace and try to make the best of the situation. Things had pretty much gone as badly as possible, there was no where to go but up. She had to organize her life and get things in order. She was treating her life like a complicated equation. She had to add some things and take some things away in order to get to an acceptable conclusion. First she was going to try to do away with some of that bitterness. That was easier said than done of course. Every time that she thought about Malfoy she felt the anger and the bitterness flood through her.

Well that wasn't helping anything.

So she ought to stop it.

Hermione had actually come to that conclusion before when she was in the Trophy Room, and she had thought she was doing good with it. Then the whole Pansy mess had happened and she found herself resenting him all over again and just being angry.

She felt bad for the way things had ended the night before. After all he had called her up to the Astronomy Tower to apologize. Draco Malfoy had actually apologized and she had been anything but receptive. The good thing about it was that she realized that he was not trying to make this harder on her. His actions last night surprised her and it made her hopeful, but at the same time she wondered if there was an ulterior motive.

What if he had lied? What if he had known about his Father's plan and this was a huge way to set her up for a very big fall. Logical Hermione wanted to entertain the notion but she just couldn't. If she ended up second guessing every thing then there was never going to be a way to get through this. She had to believe him as much as possible.

Believe a Malfoy. That was a joke.

Still, there was nothing else she could do. Three years of her life were on the line and she wanted it to be bearable. The easiest way to do that was to get along with him as best she could, so she would try. Even if she hated every minute of it.

Before Hermione knew it, class was over. She had just stood up to make her way up to the Gryffindor tower when Professor Flitwick called her over to his desk. Hermione felt her face go red with embarrassment. He must have realized that she hadn't been paying attention during class.

"Miss Granger-"

"I'm sorry Professor, really I am. I've just had so much going about in my head and it's just a bit hard to concentrate. I promise I will pay more attention in the future and I sincerely apologize for my lack of attentiveness," she said in a rush.

Professor Flitwick was looking at her strangely.

"Ah… well… Headmaster Dumbledore sent me a note asking me to tell you to meet him in his office after class."

"Oh."

Hermione felt completely foolish. She hurried out of the class room and into the hallway. She was beginning to dread being called to the Headmaster's office. She reluctantly made her way down the stairs and to his office. Once again the stairway to his office was open and waiting for her. She slowly walked up the stairs trying to delay the meeting as much as possible.

She still hadn't quite forgiven Dumbledore for having her locked in the Trophy room for an entire night. She knocked on the door and heard him give her permission to enter. She walked into his office and saw that Malfoy was already there and looking as unhappy about the meeting as she was. She took a seat next to him and looked at the Headmaster wondering what bad news he was going to tell her about next.

"Lemon drop?" he asked holding out a small bowl filled with the yellow candy.

Both Hermione and Draco shook their heads, Dumbledore shrugged and popped two into his mouth.

That was a good sign. Starting it out with candy meant that this hopefully wasn't going to be too terrible. Maybe there was news about the Marriage Law, maybe she wouldn't be getting married in a few days after all.

"I'm sure you're wondering why you've been called here. As you know your wedding will take place on Thursday. I believe there are a few plans that need to be made."

Hermione sat there stunned wondering how he could expect her to plan a wedding that she didn't even want. She didn't care how it took place as long as it was short and to the point, or better yet it didn't happen at all. There was nothing she wanted to give input on. This wasn't her "dream" wedding and she wasn't going to lend any of her dreams to this. This marriage meant nothing to her.

"Mr. Malfoy, your father is going to pay for any arrangements the two of you would like to make. If you two would like permission to visit Hogsmeade to get measured for your dress robes that would be –,"

"I don't want new dress robes," interrupted Hermione firmly. Part of her was tempted to have the most elaborate, expensive, robe made just to irk Lucius Malfoy but she told herself that she was being petty. The thought of getting married in the robe of her dreams made her sick to her stomach. She had always wanted to get married in a muggle dress anyway. Ever since she was little that had been her dream. She was quickly learning that dreams didn't mean very much.

Dumbledore nodded and turned to Draco. "What about you Mr. Malfoy?"

"I'm sure I can find something to wear," he muttered. She could see that he was not keen on the idea of having to go shopping either.

"All right, with that settled where would you like the ceremony held?"

Hermione looked over at Draco who shrugged helplessly. She glared at him. This was by default his wedding. She didn't want to have to make all the decisions but if he wasn't going to say anything then there wasn't much of a choice. She had studying and homework to do.

"In here is fine," said Hermione simply. She hated it in here anyway, no use in sullying her memories of the Great Hall or the lake.

"You want to get married in my office? I'm not sure it's large enough to fit many guests..."

"I'm not inviting anyone, so I'm sure it will be fine." Hermione didn't want her friends to have to see her go through with this. Let alone her parents. She wasn't going to even tell them about this whole situation until it became absolutely necessary. She was also afraid that Harry and Ron would try to become violent with either Draco or Lucius and she didn't want to make the day any worse than it was already going to be. Even now she wasn't sure that she was going to be able to get through the ceremony without completely breaking down.

"Is that all right with you, Mr. Malfoy?" asked Dumbledore raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, it's fine."

"Then let us move on to living arrangements."

"What do you mean?" Draco asked. Hermione sighed. She'd had a feeling that this was going to happen so she couldn't say that she was entirely surprised by it.

"As stated in the contract, after the marriage ceremony the two of you must share living quarters," Dumbledore explained.

"But I thought that only counted after we graduated. It's against the rules for a male and female student to share a room here," he protested. Hermione didn't bother adding her opinion. She was quickly learning that protesting didn't change much as far as this situation was concerned.

"The contract is legally binding whereas the rules here at Hogwarts are not. I've had a room prepared on the sixth floor for the two of you to stay in until graduation."

Draco turned to her and Hermione could see that he was annoyed. "Don't you have anything to say about all of this?" he asked.

"There's not much I can do about it but accept it. This was your Father's idea remember? And as you said, your Father gets what he wants," she said crossing her arms around her chest. What did he expect her to do? Refuse so that he didn't have to and he could keep up the pretense of being the good, obedient, son? No thank you.

Even though she knew she was getting married soon, she knew they were supposed to share a room together, she knew that they were supposed to "consummate" their union, none of it seemed honestly real. She wondered when, if ever, she was ever going to accept that this was actually happening. She didn't think she ever really would accept it.

Hermione went off to find somewhere where she could think in peace. She needed to take a few deep breaths and start processing what was going to happen to her over this next week. The bright side was that it was only three years. When their marriage was annulled she'd only be twenty-one. She'd still have plenty of time to do all of the things she wanted. Might even be able to get started on those things while she was married.

She had to look at it as nothing more than undesirable living arrangements. Like having an unpleasant roommate. Draco had said that Malfoy Manor was nice and large, so perhaps she could avoid the Malfoy's altogether. Better yet the contract specified that they had to live on Malfoy property. His family was rich so it was a sure bet they owned more than one property. Maybe they had a flat in London somewhere.

She took another deep breath. Probably not, but maybe a gate or carriage house. Or a cottage in the countryside? If not, she could possibly talk Draco into purchasing one and they could both get away, make their own rules about where to sleep without Lucius watching their every move.

There had to be away to make this work and she was determined to find one.

* * *

Draco walked into the Slytherin Common Room and saw Pansy sitting alone in one of the black leather chairs. She had been ignoring him since yesterday and he wondered if she was mad because he was marrying Granger or if it was more because she wasn't going to be spending her days in Malfoy Manor anytime soon. He was surprised to feel relieved that he wouldn't have to spend every day after graduation with her. Granger was by no means a picnic but compared to Pansy he wasn't so sure she wasn't the better option.

Granger was annoying but at least she would leave him alone for the most part, Pansy on the other hand wanted his attention _all_ of the time. Draco debated upon finding Crabbe and Goyle so he could release some of his anger with a few well aimed curses in a friendly duel, but they were probably in the Great Hall pigging out.

He felt the insane urge to talk to someone about what was going on, but the problem was he didn't have anyone to talk to. He decided a few laps around the Quidditch Pitch would do him some good. He needed to get away, let it all out, and make himself stop caring.

When he was younger it had been so easy to justify every single thing he did in life. He was making his father proud, it would get his father's attention, it was what his father wanted him to do. Those three reasons had stopped him from thinking too hard, from questioning his actions. Those three reasons had made every thing he did okay. From torturing Granger and her friends, to being on the Quidditch team, to the Inquisitorial Squad.

Those reasons, those excuses, had began to fall apart, and it had started a year and a half ago when his father had been imprisoned in Azkaban after the Ministry of Magic fiasco at the end of Draco's fifth year. Draco's sixth year at Hogwarts had been his best. His father hadn't been able to contact him, hadn't bothered him, hadn't even existed in his mind. For the first time in his entire life he had been able to think for himself. It had been scary, it had been liberating, it had been the best feeling in the whole entire world.

That had all ended last summer when his father had finally been released and found not guilty due to influence by dark magic, aka the Imperius curse. Draco wanted to rebel, but one year of freedom didn't give him the courage to fight against seventeen years of imprisonment.

As he walked to the pitch, wearing his green Quidditch robes, he saw someone sitting on one of the benches by the lake and he was surprised that he recognized the bushy hair as Granger's. He didn't want to talk to her so he continued on to the pitch, enjoying the walk and the cold air against his face. He mounted his broom and kicked off the ground, enjoying the rush of adrenaline as his broom shot up into the air.

Flying was the only time he felt truly free anymore. He could leave everything behind, forget that everything and everyone existed. There was nothing but him, the broom, and the wide open sky. Today that wasn't quite true, he could still see her in the distance, sitting on the bench.

Despite wanting to admit it, the comment she had made in the Headmaster's office about his father always getting what he wanted had jabbed at him. He knew it was true, after all, he had said it. He didn't enjoy the fact being thrown in his face like that. It was his fault for telling her, for letting her see that he didn't want this. For showing vulnerability. People would always use vulnerabilities against you, he had learned that a long time ago.

If he could go back just a few days and change things he would. He would have forced himself to be cold and aloof with her. He would have put on the cold, calculated, Slytherin façade that he wore so well. Instead he had opened up to her, it had only been a little, but it had been too much.

He'd try not to make that mistake again.

An hour later he decided that he had to get back to the castle and do his homework. As he started the trek back to the castle he could see her still sitting on the bench. He wondered what she was thinking about, if she was thinking about him. More specifically about their situation. It didn't matter if she was. He couldn't afford to care.

Draco made his way down to the Dungeons, intent on tackling the growing pile of homework he had accumulated in the last few days. He entered the Common Room and then made his way up to his room. He opened his door only to see Pansy lounging on his bed.

"I've been waiting for you," she said sitting up, while he took of his Quidditch robes, revealing his school uniform underneath.

"What do you want?" he asked taking off his tie and letting his vest follow.

"I wanted to apologize for yesterday. You know how I get when I'm angry. You deserve so much better than that Mudblood." Pansy had come up behind him and started expertly unbuttoning his shirt.

"You deserve someone much better, someone like me," she whispered in his ear as she pulled his shirt from him.

Draco didn't know what he deserved anymore.

* * *

**Reviews are sweet like candy to my soul**


	10. The Sex Talk

When Hermione Granger set out to do something she did it, and she did it well.

After thinking things through as thoroughly as possible she had come up with a game plan and it was going to work whether Draco decided to cooperate or not. He really didn't have an option, he was going make this easy on her or she was going to murder him, not literally, but he would regret the day he had put quill to parchment and signed his name next to hers on that marriage contract.

Feeling more like herself than she had in the last five days she met up with her friends for dinner in the Great Hall and enjoyed talking with them. She looked forward to going upstairs and diving head first into her studies. Even now her head was spinning with ideas for essays and formulas and all sorts of other things. However, before she could get started on that she needed to have a talk with Malfoy. She looked over at the Slytherin Table but he wasn't there so she'd just owl him after dinner.

Which was exactly what she did.

Hermione sat in the courtyard happy for a wonderful little invention called a warming spell. It was freezing in the late February early evening and in the Muggle world it would have been a wonderful night to be curled up in front of a fire place reading a book. However, with the use of magic she was warm and comfortable. She had owled Malfoy about twenty minutes ago asking him to meet her but she hadn't showed up yet. Thankfully, she had brought her Charms assignment so she was far from bored.

For the first time since all of this happened, five days ago, she felt a bit of inner calmness. Her insides didn't feel so twisted, the constant stomach ache had faded, she felt almost normal. Five days ago? It felt like she'd been fighting her emotions for weeks now. It had been the longest five days of her life. She couldn't imagine feeling like she had been for another week, let alone months and years.

Something had to change.

Something was changing. Five days ago, Hermione wouldn't have been sitting there waiting for Draco Malfoy and planning to being civil to him. Five days ago, she couldn't have even entertained the notion of marrying him. Five days ago, she wouldn't have ached with all of her heart to find some way to be at peace with him. She wanted them to be… friends, or something close to it.

Honestly, what she really wanted, was for him to be Ron or Neville. If it had been one of them that she was forced to marry then she might not have felt so damaged by all of this. She would have someone to commiserate with, someone who understood. She kept telling herself that Malfoy wasn't as bad as she had originally thought. He had handled the whole situation with more grace than she could say that she had.

He had accepted it because it was his father's wish for him. She wasn't sure it had been an easy acceptance but he wasn't fighting as hard as she was. He wasn't fighting her. Hermione had spent her whole life striving for something great, to be remembered, to make something of who she was and nothing was going to stand in the way of that. Draco Malfoy was nothing but a kink in her plans and he wasn't going away. She had to get used to that.

So she was going to do one of the hardest things she would probably ever have to, short of marrying him.

She was going to try to _like _Draco Malfoy.

The other night in the Trophy Room she had glimpsed a part of him that she could possibly like. The way he had playfully teased her when they'd woken up hadn't been to bad, although she internally persisted that she did _not_ snore. Maybe there were other things about him that, if she tried, she could learn to like.

It was time for them to have a real conversation about everything that had happened. They could get it out into the open and be done with it. Come up with a real plan, perhaps. The only thing they had really talked about so far was the fact that he wouldn't be opposed to her hanging out with her friends over the summer. There were other things to discuss, things that she didn't quite know how to bring up.

After a few minutes, she heard someone approaching. She looked up to see him walking towards her wearing his uniform shirt and slacks. His shirt wasn't tucked in and he looked a little bit disheveled. Hermione wasn't used to seeing him looking anything but pristine and well put together. She wondered what he had been doing and then she realized that she was better off not knowing.

"Thank you for coming. I feel like we need to talk about all of this, really talk about it," she said in a brisk, business like tone.

"Before we talk about whatever it is that you would like to discuss, there's something I want to show you," he said making his way back into the castle. Hermione watched him retreating and decided that she might as well follow him.

Draco seemed set on a destination so Hermione followed him without question. Up the stairs and then up more stairs, finally Hermione realized that they were not going up to the Astronomy Tower, where she had originally thought he was heading, but to the 6th floor, where their living arrangements were supposed to be.

She wasn't sure she was ready for this yet.

Hermione couldn't say that she had spent much time on the 6th floor. There was nothing of interest there other than a bathroom and a few empty classrooms that were always locked. She and Draco finally made it to the floor and about halfway down the corridor Hermione noticed a painting that she'd never seen before. It was a large rectangle, big enough to be a door.

Draco stopped in front of it studying it. The canvas was painted completely in black and there were little white dots splattered all over it. On closer inspection Hermione noticed that they were actually stars. Just a black canvas, and stars. It was a pretty painting, if a bit boring, it was definitely no Fat Lady.

She really wasn't ready for this.

"I stopped by here earlier and saw it," Malfoy explained. "Do you think there's a password yet?" he asked, turning towards her. Hermione just shrugged. Draco pulled against the side of the painting and it opened up like a door, revealing darkness beyond. He held it open for her and she just looked at him. It crossed her mind that perhaps this was some sort of ambush and there were a group of Death Eaters behind the door, or something else just as sinister, but she pushed those fears away. She had to have some sort trust in him.

Just a little bit of trust.

Hermione walked inside, her wand lighting the way and pushing away the darkness. There were three large windows on the other side of the room that, along with her wand, let in enough moonlight to show her the general layout of the room. It was pretty much a decent sized sitting room. She noticed what looked to be a fireplace and with the flick of her wand there was a roaring fire and the room was illuminated. She was relieved to see that the room was not decorated in green and red to represent Slytherin and Gryffindor. It was strange but that had been a small worry of hers, she didn't want to feel like she was in a Christmas card for the rest of the year. Instead, it was decorated in earth tones. She supposed if it couldn't be red and gold then this was acceptable.

"Not horrible I guess," Draco said looking around. Hermione had agreed with him until she noticed the two open doors on opposite sides of the room. Looking inside one she could see that it was a bathroom and the other was a bedroom. There were no other doors.

One bedroom.

Well, it served her purpose. The conversation was going to have to turn to that at some point. She supposed that she ought to get started. She had asked to talk to him but she wasn't sure where to begin. She had made a mental list of things she wanted to go over with him. However, at the moment there was only one thing that she could think about.

Sex.

Well, she was going to be straight to the point.

"About our... um... marital relations. The contract says that we have to share a bed. I was hoping that you wouldn't mind being lax on that rule. I suppose that we should share a room for appearances' sake but I would like to sleep on the floor." Next came the hard part. It was something that she didn't feel comfortable talking about. Especially not to him.

How did she tell Draco Malfoy that she was a virgin and wanted to stay that way?

* * *

Draco sat silently, enjoying the warmth of the fire, as he listened to her. So far he fully agreed with her. He didn't want to share a bed with her anymore than she wanted to share one with him. The thought of it made him feel incredibly uncomfortable. He had never shared a bed with anyone in his life. Of course there was Pansy, and others, but he had allowed none of them to actually fall asleep with him. He couldn't imagine sharing that privileged with her. He wasn't too thrilled that they had to share a room either. He had a habit of talking in his sleep and having bad dreams and he didn't want her, or anyone else, to know about his inner demons.

Not that she didn't already know. That night in the Trophy Room had allowed her to see a part of him that never revealed to anyone. He hated vulnerability. Hated it even more when he was the one being vulnerable. Granger was being silent and he wondered if she would bring up the topic of fidelity. He did have needs and he couldn't remain celibate for the next three years. He hoped that she wouldn't begrudge him having other relationships. If it was something that she chose to do as well he certainly wouldn't stop her. However, he didn't feel like broaching that subject at that precise moment.

He hated admitting that he felt something almost like guilt for what had happened with Pansy earlier. It was a strange feeling to him. He didn't owe Granger anything, and he was more than acquainted with doing things that he wasn't supposed to, but for some reason it bothered him.

"I'm... I'm not ready for a physical relationship of any kind, even if I am obligated by law to have one. I understand that you... that you... um... don't have the same feelings."

"Are you trying to say that I'm promiscuous, Granger?" He was amused to see that she was turning several shades of red. He enjoyed seeing her flustered but she seemed to have realized that he was joking. Never in his wildest dreams had he ever thought that he'd be sitting with Hermione Granger and discussing either one of their sex lives.

"You said it, not me." Her face turned serious again, "I would understand if you wanted, well... if you needed... things... and as long as you are discreet about... things then I think it would be okay if there was someone else... if you know what I mean?"

So she had broached that topic for him. That was somewhat of a relief to him. He didn't want to feel like an asshole for bringing it up. He didn't know why he should feel bad about it. She had no intention of honoring her "marital duties" there was no reason why he should. It was just such an incredibly awkward situation. He hated awkward situations.

"What about you? If someone came along would you be unfaithful to your loving, loyal, husband?" This won him a small, sarcastic, smile from her.

"I don't think I'm the kind of woman to go out and have a torrid affair," she said simply. He wasn't sure if she was joking or not. He supposed that in reality it didn't matter. As long as she didn't run off with Potter or Weasley. He didn't think he would be able to take that much humiliation.

They sat there staring off into the fire in silence. Draco had to admit that he didn't really mind sitting with her. She wasn't like Pansy, always vying for his attention, or like Zabini and the other Slytherin who always had something nasty to say. He was enjoying the silence but then his stomach growled and he was reminded that it was late and he was hungry. He stood up and stretched in front of the fire.

"Well Granger, I think I'm going to go down to the kitchens for something to eat. Dinner has probably been over for awhile now." He hesitated a moment deciding whether or not he wanted to invite her along. He decided that it really couldn't hurt anything.

"Would you like to come with me?"

"I already ate and I have homework to get done, and then I have to make my rounds…"

"So that was all that you wanted to talk to me about?" he asked curiously. He found it hard to believe that she hadn't come up with a few other rules and regulations. In fact he was honestly surprised that she hadn't written up some sort of contract of her own for him to sign.

"Actually no, there are a few other things… Fine, I'll come with you."

Draco watched her as she extinguished the fire in the fireplace and then followed him out of the room. They walked down the near empty corridors of Hogwarts. It was a school night and dinner was over so almost everyone was in their common rooms doing homework, all the while she talked about living arrangements and properties, and schedules and vacations. He half listened to all of it.

They reached the portrait of a bowl of fruit and then went inside. There were house elves milling about doing dishes and packing away the leftovers to be sent out to wherever Dumbledore sent them. It was easy for Draco to procure a plate of food. He turned around sure that Granger wasn't done telling him her plans but she had gotten distracted… by a House Elf.

Draco leaned against a table watching her. He wasn't sure that he had ever seen anyone talking to a House elf like that. He watched in shock as she sat down on the floor and the House Elf sat with her and they began laughing at something. Draco was in a bit of shock. He'd always known that she liked House Elves, everyone knew about the little club, SPIT or SPAT, whatever it was called, she had formed a few years ago. The Slytherin had teased her to no end about it. Still, watching the way she treated the elf, like it was human, surprised him. He didn't understand it, but there was a small part of him that, as he stood there, admired her just a little.

* * *

**As always, give me a review and tell me what you thought! Thanks for reading and Bright Blessings!**


	11. The Stay of Execution

Hermione stood in front of a full-length mirror as Draco watched from the door with a grin on his face. She was wearing a beautiful, white, wedding robe made out of silk. She had never looked more radiant. The silk clung perfectly to her figure and the neck of the robe dipped down, revealing just a hint of cleavage. And her smile... her smile was dazzling. It lit up her whole face and she had never looked happier. Never been happier. It was their wedding day.

He was so in love with her.

She was so in love with him.

Hermione clasped the white lilies in her slightly sweaty hands and looked in the mirror with a smile on her face. She looked so grown up and serene, as if every little thing was right in her world. Draco watched her, a tender look of affection on his face. Hermione turned and when she saw him it looked as if someone had handed her everything that she had ever wanted.

"How do I look?" she asked spinning around as the soft fabric swished around her legs.

Draco smiled, his gray eyes making her heart pound.

His breath caught in his throat as he saw her.

"You look beautiful, just beautiful," he said with a grin.

She smiled and reached up, kissing him on the nose.

"You look very beautiful yourself." He did, just looking at him made her heart do happy things. Draco leaned down to kiss her on the lips but she evaded him.

"You, Mr. Malfoy, must wait for that kiss. I believe we have a wedding to get to." She hooked arms with him and they walked out of the room.

The dream ended and the dreamer drifted into a deeper sleep, the dream slipping out of their consciousness to go unremembered.

* * *

One more day.

One more day of blissful freedom and then it was going to be all over.

Hermione laid in bed and stretched while letting out a long sigh. She didn't want to get out of bed, if she didn't move then the day couldn't pass her by. Her stomach was in knots again, a feeling that she was beginning to get very used to. With a heavy sigh she got out of bed, showered, and then got dressed and made her way to the Common Room. She sat down on the sofa by the fire, not feeling up to going down to the Great Hall for breakfast. She didn't feel up to very much at the moment.

She looked up as Harry and Ron noisily came down the stairs, saw her, and then made their way over to where she was sitting. Hermione could tell that they were worried about her but didn't exactly know what to say. She hadn't really confided in either of them about how she was feeling. She was sure that even though most of it was going unsaid they understood. At the same time she wanted to talk about how she was feeling, put it into words. She just really didn't feel like talking to them. Yet, if she couldn't talk to her best friends there was really no one else in the world that she could talk to.

"Are you going to class today?" asked Harry as he slung an arm around her.

"Of course," Hermione said, glad for the comfort that he was providing. Of course she was going to class. This wasn't going to disrupt her life. She was still a student at Hogwarts. Still Hermione Granger. At least Granger for the next twenty-four hours.

"Are you mental?" Ron chimed in. "Might as well get a free day off, it's the least Dumbledore can give you. I think that this whole thing is complete bullocks, making you marry someone you don't love. They should have at least made the law so that you could only marry someone you at least liked."

"Ron, I am perfectly capable of going to class. I'm not an invalid." She gave him a playful smack on the arm. "I do think that this law never should have passed but there's really nothing that can be done at this point. Come on you two, classes will be starting soon." She stood up, deciding that maybe a little bit of breakfast wasn't a bad thing after all. A one minute conversation with her friends and she felt much better. Just being around them made her happy. That was what friendship was really all about.

Hermione and her friends made their way down to the Great Hall for breakfast. As they walked through the corridors Hermione had mentally prepared herself for the day ahead. It was going to be a normal day, she wasn't going to let anything distract her or anything get in her way. She had pushed all of her worries aside and she had to admit, she felt pretty good. There was a certain amount of calm that came from accepting your fate, however horrible it was.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione entered the Great Hall and as soon as they stepped inside it went silent. Absolutely silent, as all eyes turned to her. Suddenly the center of attention, Hermione felt her face burn. She mentally told herself that she had been the center of attention before, many times through out the years, but this time it was all her. There was no Harry taking the spotlight away from her. She didn't like this. Not one bit.

Hermione felt Harry and Ron beside her and, ignoring all of the attention, she walked over to the Gryffindor table and sat down next to Ginny. Ginny gave her an encouraging smile and then Hermione poured herself a glass of orange juice as the Hall erupted into chatter. She could just imagine how it was going to be tomorrow, and the day after, after the wedding night. This was going to be a very, very, long week.

Later that day, Hermione was sitting in Potions cleaning up her work station. Thankfully Snape had not decided to partner her with Malfoy again but Neville Longbottom instead. She had to admit that she was a bit thankful for that. Neville wasn't a bad partner for all of his fumbling. He had learned to take a more silent role in Potion's projects. He usually just did exactly what she told him to do which worked out well. Hermione looked up across the dungeon towards Malfoy, who was partnered with Zabini. He had also finished his potion and was in the process of cleaning up. He looked as if he hadn't slept very well. She didn't blame him.

"Malfoy. Granger." Hermione looked up to see Snape motioning for both she and Draco to come up to his desk. With a heavy sigh and a ton of bricks landing in the pit of her stomach she got up and walked over to his desk. Whatever Snape wanted she was dreading it. She still hadn't forgiven him for partnering Malfoy last week. As far as she was concerned that had just been for his own malicious satisfaction.

"The Headmaster has requested to see both of you in his office immediately." He then turned his attention back to the class. "Longbottom, Zabini, finish cleaning up."

Hermione shared a look with Draco as they walked out into the hall and made their way to the Headmaster's office. Another trip to the Headmaster's office. She wondered what bad news she was going to get to hear next. All in all it couldn't really be worse. She quickly amended that thought, no, it could be worse. Perhaps Lucius was waiting up in Dumbledore's office ready to welcome her to the family. She suppressed a shiver.

What if she was getting pulled out of school right away and spirited away to Malfoy Manor? She made her breathing slow down, Dumbledore wouldn't let that happen. She told herself to stop thinking the worse, but at this point it was very hard to think of things in a positive way.

"I wonder what he wants this time," Hermione said to Draco, breaking the silence. Talking kept her mind from coming up with other horrible outcomes to this meeting. They had just rounded the corner and were on the way down the corridor leading to Dumbledore's office. They could see that the wall that was the door to his office was opened so that they wouldn't need the password.

"Maybe he wants to tell us about the birds and the bees."

Hermione couldn't stop herself from smiling. "The birds and the bees? I'm not sure I want to have that talk with him." Just the thought of Dumbledore trying to talk to them about sex amused her greatly.

"Can you imagine him trying to explain it? Merlin, I think I'd be mortified if he tried. He'd probably try to use hand puppets or something," Draco said with a wry grin. Hermione laughed.

"I would be too. I really hope that isn't the case. If he even starts in on that give me the deafening charm please, and just to be safe, one to make me go blind as well."

"Only if you promise to do the same," Draco said.

"Deal." They reached the opening and got onto the stairs as they started to spiral upwards. Hermione again wondered what this was all about. As far as she was concerned the wedding had been planned, there was nothing else that needed to be said about it. She didn't care about decorations or parties or vows. All of it was meaningless to her.

As they entered the office she saw that Dumbledore was sitting behind his desk, thankfully alone, and looking at them from above his half-moon spectacles as they sat down in the chairs in front of him.

"Lemon drop?" Both Draco and Hermione shook their heads so Dumbledore popped one in his mouth. Hermione heard the crunch, crunch, crunch, as he chewed and swallowed them. That was the only sound in the room. It was just a little bit unnerving. She really just wanted to know why the both of them were there. Finally he spoke.

"It seems I have got you a stay of execution."

"What?" Hermione asked, trying not to jump to the wrong conclusions. A thousand thoughts instantly started running through her head. Could he really mean...

"Your impending nuptials have been temporarily put on hold," Dumbledore said with a smile.

"As in I don't have to marry her?" Draco asked hopefully. Hermione resisted the urge to begin jumping up and down. As long as she didn't have to marry him tomorrow, or the next day, or the next... she would be happy. That was all that she really wanted.

"No, Mr. Malfoy, you do not have to marry her. At least not tomorrow."

"How long is this put on hold?" Hermione asked. She wanted it to be weeks, months, years would be best. Forever was what she had her fingers crossed for. Either way, a surge of happiness and relief was flowing through her. She had a little bit more time. A little more freedom. Everything was going to be okay.

"Until the end of the school year, precisely one week after you both graduate. However, there are certain conditions."

Hermione didn't care what the conditions were, she'd take 'conditions' over vows any day of the week. Maybe this was all going to work out for the best. Maybe she just might have time to find a way out of this whole thing. The law would be appealed in three in a half months, it just had to be, the contract would be invalid and she would be _free_.

Free to be Hermione Granger, free to fall in love, free to get married when and to whom she wanted. This was the best news that she'd ever heard. She couldn't wait to tell Ron and Harry, couldn't wait to tell everyone.

This gave her a new reason to fight, a new reason to hope. She wasn't going to be Hermione Malfoy, ever. If the worst happened after graduation she'd run. What were they going to do? Send the whole Auror department after her?

* * *

Draco didn't care what the conditions were. He was just happy that his whole life wasn't coming to an abrupt end tomorrow. He'd spent the last week getting used to the idea of her being his wife and he wanted nothing more than to just let go of it. He could let go of the inner conflict and the stress that had been consuming him these last six days. The end of the school year? That was still almost four months away. Four long, wonderful, relaxing, months.

"What are the conditions?" asked Granger. Draco turned his attention away from his inner happiness and back towards the Headmaster. He supposed that it was important to hear what was going to be expected of him. He didn't really care at this point, as long as none of it was as bad as marrying her. He was _sure _that none of it would be as bad as marrying her.

"Firstly, and most unpleasantly I'm sure, is that the two of you will still be required to share living quarters for the remainder of the school year."

Part of Draco was annoyed by this and the other part of him was a little bit relieved. While he was going to have to share a little Common Room with her, at the moment it would be better than sharing with the Slytherin. They were truly becoming annoying. He was tired of the snickers and the innuendo and the snide comments. He was positive that he would not be able to take it for another four months. He couldn't say that he was entirely upset about having to live with her. She would leave him alone and that was what he wanted. She could have the bedroom if she wanted and he'd take the couch for all he cared. Which was saying a lot for his ability to compromise because he'd never slept on a couch, after all, he was a Malfoy.

"However, your living quarters have been modified to add a second bedroom. Secondly, since the marriage will not actually take place until June that is the date that will be used to gauge the duration of your marriage. Lastly, you are both required to visit Malfoy Manor during the Spring holiday."

Draco felt all of the joy vanish as he broke out in a cold sweat. Go home, with her? This was not good. This was _really_ not good. Obviously his father had something to do with this new arrangement. Whatever he had planned was bound to end badly. Draco wanted nothing to do with them. He wanted her to have nothing to do with them. There was no way he could let her go home with him. Absolutely no way at all.

He remembered something that it had taken every ounce of his will power to block out. The letter that his father had sent him last week. Telling him that at some point she would be 'taken care of'.

Granger had asked exactly why they'd decided to postpone the wedding and Draco listened as Dumbledore explained.

"I threatened to expel you both," he said simply with a wide grin.

"What?" asked Hermione. Draco could hear the panic in her voice. Threatened to expel them? Dumbledore couldn't expel them, they hadn't done anything.

"Calm down Miss Granger, I was bluffing. I've been trying, every day for the past six days in fact, to get you both released from this contract. However, that is not within my power. I did, however, appeal to Mr. Malfoy's concern that you both get a full education. Since he is the one that petitioned for Miss Granger's hand he had the authority to amend the contract. It has brought you some time to adjust. I do not believe that a marriage so soon would benefit either of you in any way."

Draco thought that Hermione was going to get up from her seat and hug the Headmaster. He was feeling much the same way. He'd never even liked Dumbledore but what he had done for them, more for Hermione he supposed, made him feel quite grateful. This was almost like a dream come true to him. Of course having the marriage postpone indefinitely would have been better, but right now four months still felt like forever to him.

"I would like you both to move into your new living quarters tonight if at all possible. You can pack up your belongings and I will have the house elves move them for you. I would like you both to think of this as a transition period. Sometimes all we can do is try to understand each other, and sometimes ourselves. You are dismissed."

Draco got up and Hermione followed him as the stairs moved down to the entrance of the office. They walked out into the corridor and the wall shut behind them. Before he knew what was happening Draco felt Hermione fling her arms around him in a tight hug. He stood there in shock, unable to move. Hermione Granger was _hugging _him. He had to admit that it felt kind of nice, in a strange way. No one had ever just come up to him and hugged him. He wasn't even sure that Pansy had ever hugged him, her tastes usually went towards groping. This was very _odd_.

Hermione pulled away and Draco looked at her wondering what had gotten into her.. Part of him said that he should be disgusted by the fact that a Mudblood was hugging him. However, he really couldn't muster up much disgust. She took several steps back with a sheepish smile on her face.

"I'm sorry. I am just so glad that I'm not going to wake up a day from now and be Mrs. Malfoy."

He was glad too. Very, very, glad.

* * *

**Review and I will bake you cookies? Let's pretend I can bake shall we?**


	12. The Change of Plans

Hermione watched as the portrait door swung open and she looked inside. She was a bit apprehensive about sharing a living space with Draco Malfoy. Earlier she had been grateful that it was anything but marriage and now she had to admit that she was a little worried about how well they would get along. This whole thing was supposed to help them accept each other or something like that. Seeing Draco Malfoy morning, noon, and night? She wasn't sure how accepting of that she could be. Still, she was open to finding some way to get along with him for long periods of time. Now that the marriage situation was out of the way for the next few months it was as if they lacked the common enemy that they had bonded over. Still, maybe they would be able to find a way to make this work. She was open to it, she only hoped that he was as well.

So they were supposed to get to know each other? That was going to be interesting. Hermione couldn't think of anything that they really had in common. As far as interests went the only thing that she knew he liked was Quidditch and girls. Their topics of conversation were going to be quite limited if that was the case. They had so many preconceived notions about one another she wasn't sure that either one of them would be able to get pass them, but again, she was going to try. That was really all that she could do. Be friends with Draco Malfoy?

Well, it wasn't impossible.

Hermione walked into the Common Room and looking to her left she could see that a door was open and he was inside. Should she go say hello or should she just go to her room? This had the ingredients to be a very awkward situation. Should they greet each other or ignore each other? If one of them was in the Common Room should the other one not be? She supposed those were all questions that she would soon find the answers to.

Hermione decided that the best course of action was just to go talk to him. After all, he was still her fiancé. She was glad that the word no longer brought with it an intense feeling of doom. She stood in the doorway to his room watching him for a moment as he sat his books on the desk next to the bed. Draco Malfoy. Self-proclaimed Slytherin Prince. How was she ever going to get to the point where saying his name, even in her head, didn't bring with it bad feelings? He turned around as if sensing that she was standing there and when he saw her he actually smiled.

Hermione had to admit that she was surprised that he smiled at her but she couldn't help but smile in return. When he smiled the whole dynamic of his face changed. He no longer looked unapproachable and aloof, he actually looked... well... human.

"I just thought I'd come in and say hello," she said uncomfortably. Really she didn't know what to say or what to tell him. They weren't friends, but she wasn't sure they were enemies either. She just wanted to make sure that things stayed civil between them. That was the most important thing to her at the moment. They had four months to become friends and they were going to be friendly if it killed her. It would be much more pleasant to be married to someone she liked instead of someone she just tolerated... barely tolerated at that.

"Would you like some chocolate?" Draco asked as he tossed a sack on the bed. He seemed to be in good spirits. Hermione wondered why he was so happy about this. Wouldn't he miss being with the rest of his house? It suddenly sank in that she wasn't going to get to see Harry, Ron, and Ginny as much as she used to. She tried to push the unhappiness away but now there was a dark cloud over her. No more staying up late listening to Ron and Ginny recount entertaining stories from their childhoods or doing homework together in the Common Room. She felt an odd sense of alienation from her friends that she hadn't felt until now. She almost felt like she had been banished.

They were all the same people that they had been. Sure, at some point soon Ron was going to have to marry someone but at least he would get to pick who that someone was. For now he was still just Ron. She was going through this dramatic life change worrying about relations with her new husband and all they had to worry about were school assignments. She knew that she wasn't being fair. Voldemort was still out there somewhere and she knew that weighed heavily on Harry's mind, but that was something that he had been dealing with for the last seven years. With an internal sigh Hermione told herself to stop analyzing everything. It didn't make anything better or clearer.

"Excuse me?" Hermione asked. Had he really just offered her food? Part of her was under the suspicion that this was some plan to poison her but the logical part of her brain reminded her that in the last week she had developed some sort of trust towards him and just because she was in a bad mood she shouldn't think badly of him. Still, nice Draco was something that she wasn't used to. What was he going to do next? Ask her into his bed?

"You can sit down if you want," he said indicating the bed. Hermione knew that her face must be turning red. How in the world was he reading her thoughts the way he was? Well, she definitely wasn't going to let him rile her up and get the best of her. She could play mind games too. As calmly as she could she walked over to the bed and took a seat on the edge and then reached into the bag and grabbed a handful of chocolate. It couldn't hurt.

Hermione popped a piece of chocolate into her mouth. "Where did you get so many sweets?" she asked as she looked at the bag. It was entirely full of candy. It looked like someone had gone in and taken two of everything from Honeydukes.

"That," said Draco, as he grabbed some candy and then lazily sat back on his bed, "is one of my wedding gifts. I've got others. When I was packing my things I was surprised with several gifts from my housemates. I didn't see the point in telling them that we aren't getting married tomorrow. I've also got a bottle of gillyweed wine around here somewhere."

Hermione looked at him. Surely he couldn't be serious. Firstly, she was a little annoyed that he had led the Slytherins to believe that they were still getting married. True, she hadn't yet told Harry and Ron but that had only been because they hadn't been in Gryffindor Tower when she had been packing her things. She fully intended to tell them at dinner in an hour. Secondly, they were Head Girl and Boy. Having alcohol on school grounds, at all in fact, was against the rules. He knew that perfectly well. Just because they were legally engaged did not mean that he could so blatantly break the rules in front of her.

"You know that I'll have to confiscate the wine and take it to Filch or McGonagall. Really Malfoy, do you want to get detention? I guarantee you that I am not going to get into trouble because you are bringing alcoholic beverages into our living area," she said with her arms crossed. She had to admit that she felt oddly silly telling her future husband that she was going to tell the Professors on him. Apparently he thought she was silly because he just looked at her with a bemused smile on his face.

"Really Granger? Well, I suppose I shouldn't do this? Accio gillyweed wine." A dark blue bottle flew out of one of his bags, he caught it, and with a quick movement he opened it and before she could stop him he was taking a drink. She was really ready to curse him. Throttle him even.

"If you think I won't go and get someone right now you are mistaken," she said haughtily. She couldn't believe that he was calling her bluff like this. She had come in here with the specific purpose of getting along with him and he was being difficult, like the Slytherin he was. It figured. It really did. Well if she had to go get a Professor she would. This just wasn't about him breaking the rules.

"Would you like some? I'll share, all you have to do is ask." If he grinned at her liked that again she was going to slug him.

"Absolutely not." Hermione really could not believe that he was offering to get her drunk. She couldn't say that the prospect didn't appeal to her a little. In that rebellious far, far, away part of her mind that she never listened to. Would it be nice to forget about everything for awhile? Of course, but she wasn't going to break the rules to do that and neither was he. At least not while she was standing there. "Give me the bottle," she demanded.

"If you want it come and get it."

Hermione rolled her eyes. Was this really going to turn into a wrestling match? Was he now a first year? She'd take that bottle from him and then she was going to smash it over his head as punishment for annoying her.

It was going to be a very long four months.

* * *

Draco was sure that she was going to reach over and slap him. He had to admit it wasn't completely unwarranted. It had been so long since he had been in a good mood and he had to admit that he was enjoying teasing her. It was a pastime that he was finding he truly enjoyed. From the glares that she was shooting him he was quite sure that she wasn't amused in the slightest. He was just about to relent and give her the bottle when before he knew it the bottle flew out of his hand and landed in hers.

He hadn't even noticed that she had pulled her wand out. She shot him a smug look of satisfaction and he laughed, much to her confusion. He was amused to see her sitting on the bed holding the bottle of wine. He told himself that he should be nice to her but it was so hard when she was such an easy target.

"Relax Granger, you can have it. I was just kidding. Is there anything else you want?" he asked, laying back on his bed with his arms resting behind his head. As she realized the innuendo her face turned red, whether from anger or embarrassment he couldn't tell. She got off the bed, walked across the room and then slammed the door behind her while he laughed.

Draco was just about to get ready to go down to the Great Hall to find something to eat when there was a tap at his window. Looking over, he saw that there was an eagle owl sitting on the window sill. He sighed as his heart did the familiar plummet to the bottom of his stomach. He hoped the message was from Pansy, from anyone but his father. The black wax seal told him that his hope was in vain.

His mood vanished and he felt like the weight of the world was on his shoulders. He hated that his father made him feel this way. He despised that he had so much control over his life. It had to stop eventually, he told himself. It couldn't last forever.

He took the letter and then sent the owl on its way. Well, whatever his father wanted to tell him it could wait because he was hungry. He tucked the letter under his pillow and then made his way down to the Great Hall for supper. He went over to his familiar spot at the Slytherin table next to Pansy. She didn't say anything as he sat down and he was thankful for that. He really didn't want to deal with whatever she had to say. Part of him regretted not reading the letter that his father had written because now it was all that he could think about. He tried as hard as he could to push thoughts of his father, and the letter, out of his head.

Draco's gray eyes scanned the Great hall until they fell on Granger. She was sitting there with her friends talking and laughing. He turned to see that Pansy had been watching him watch her. She didn't look happy and he supposed that she wasn't. Pansy had been in love with him for as long as he could remember and for as long as he could remember he hadn't cared. She had provided a welcome, and talented, distraction whenever he needed one, he supposed he at least liked her for that.

"Draco?"

"Hm?" he asked, as he began to shovel food into his mouth. He didn't really want to have a conversation with her. The last time they had talked, after she had surprised him in his room, it had turned into a screaming match on her part. He knew that she was afraid of losing her place in his life. He suspected that she wanted to be sort of a mistress to him now and while the thought did appeal to him it was more commitment than he was ready to give. He had to admit that it was a little ironic. He was afraid of having anything but something casual with Pansy yet he had agreed to get married to Granger.

Life definitely had a way of being unexpected.

"I was hoping that after supper we can find some place to be alone. I'll make you forget all about the Mudblood," she said as he felt her hand climb slowly up his leg.

"I can't. I have something I have to do." He turned his attention back to his food, hoping that she would let that be the end of it. Of course she wouldn't.

"Something to do with her?" Pansy asked angrily as Zabini snickered from his other side. Draco wanted to roll his eyes. He was truly glad that he wasn't going to have to be around them that much anymore. He decided not to answer and for the rest of supper she silently fumed. When he was done eating he ignored her and went back up to his room.

He laid down on his bed and pulled the letter out from under his pillow. He broke the seal and then he began reading. It was a short letter but it definitely made its point known. Draco felt his heart furiously beating. He didn't know what he was going to do. Panic was surging through him and he was doing his best to keep it at bay. This was not good. This was really not good.

In one month he was going to become a Death Eater.

Draco buried his head under his pillow. The plan had always been for him to receive the Dark Mark after he graduated from Hogwarts. That had been the plan for as long as he could remember, and now it had changed. When he and Hermione went to Malfoy Manor for Spring Break there was going to be an initiation ceremony for him.

He had one month.

He wondered when his life had been the focus of so many countdowns. Four months until he had to marry Granger. One month until he had to become a Death Eater. Three years until he could get an annulment. The world suddenly seemed a lot darker than it had been in awhile. Draco laid in his bed for a long time. He watched as night fell and his room was engulfed in darkness. Still, he wasn't any closer to an answer.

He didn't know what to do.

Maybe... maybe there was someone who could help.

He got out of bed surprised that time had passed so quickly while he was thinking. She was probably asleep, he didn't want to wake her up but he knew that the likelihood of him getting any sleep tonight was slim to none. He needed to talk to someone, confide in _someone_. He told himself that this wasn't him being vulnerable. It was him asking for some sort of strategy.

Granger had as much a stake in this as he did. He was fairly certain that his father didn't intend to hurt her, at least not on Spring break. He'd thought about it for awhile and realized that if anything happened to her while she was at Malfoy Manor every Auror in England, along with Potter, Weasley, and Dumbledore would be knocking down the door looking for answers.

What his father wanted to do was probably just unsettle her. Which, as far as Draco was concerned could only make things worth, he didn't want his father anywhere near her and he didn't want to be anywhere near his father. So, they'd come up with a solution together. He walked across their shared Common Room to the door that was hers. He sharply knocked on it.

"Granger? Are you awake?"

* * *

**Again thank you all for reading, and as always reviews make me incredibly happy and I would shrivel up and die without them. We're so close to 100 reviews, let's make it happen. Also if you haven't read Twilight and Shadows you might want to. It's another Draco/Hermione fanfic written by me and one of my personal favorites. I've also posted a short story called "Between the Lines" so go read that too!**


	13. The Middle of the Night

"Granger? Are you awake?"

Hermione heard a knock at the door and then she heard Draco's voice on the other side of it. What did he want in the middle of the night? It had been a long day and she just wanted to sleep. First she had woken up having to deal with the thought that it was her last day as a single woman. Then, Dumbledore had told them that they wouldn't be getting married but they had to live with each other, then she'd told Harry and Ron at dinner who had made quite a great big deal out of celebrating. After the celebrations in the Gryffindor Common Room she had wanted to sleep. However, she'd had homework so she had been obligated to do that before bed.

She had only just gotten to sleep and now she was being woken up. She put the pillow over her head but even through that she could hear the knocking. If her wand hadn't been out of arms reach she was sure that she would have used it to blast the door open and then curse him until he stopped speaking. As it were, her wand was on the bedside table . In the time that it took her to climb across the bed and grab it her grumpiness had faded a little bit. After all, if Draco Malfoy was waking her up in the middle of the night it had to be something fairly important. Unless he was playing a prank on her.

Which meant he was going to die.

With a flick of her wand the door unlocked and opened and she told him to come in. Apparently, he hadn't been expecting her to invite him into her room but she was comfortable and she had no inclination to move from her cozy bed. If he wanted to talk to her about something then it was going to be on her terms. She sat up and pulled the blankets around her. She was by no means naked, in fact she was wearing a nightgown, but she still felt oddly vulnerable. She scooted to the far side of the bed and made room for him to sit. After a few moments of hesitation he did.

"What's the matter?" she asked sleepily as she swallowed a yawn. He didn't look as if he had slept at all and she suddenly wondered if something was seriously wrong. That thought woke her up considerably. Had he been thinking about their marriage? Had he possibly changed his mind about going through with it? It looked like he was trying to think of some way to tell her whatever it was that had made him wake her up.

"I just wanted to talk to you." That was it? He just wanted to talk to her? Well that was rather vague. She contemplated lighting a few candles but she decided that might encourage him to stay longer. The moonlight was shining through the window so the room wasn't pitch black. She could see his face, something was wrong, she just didn't know what, or why he wouldn't tell her already.

"What did you want to talk about, at…" she looked over at the clock, "half past midnight?" she asked hoping that there actually was something specific that he wanted to say. It wasn't that she didn't want to talk to him, because at any other time of the day she might not mind terribly, but she was trying to sleep and now was really not the time. Neither was the setting very appropriate. Since they were engaged she wasn't sure that there were any rules that applied to either of them being in each other's room in the middle of the night but it still didn't look good. Not that there was really anyone to catch them. She supposed it really didn't matter after all.

"I need to talk to you about my father." So that's was what had him looking so... unhappy. She was under no illusions about her future father-in-law. He was, well, he was everything that she'd ever thought Draco was, just more matured and dangerous. He was callous, hateful, evil, and unforgiving. Everything that Hermione never wanted Draco to be. She gave him her full attention. She could feel that it was important and she could also feel that he was having trouble getting it out. She didn't know what to say to make it easier for him.

"You know that my father is the one that wanted this for me... for us. I'm worried that the reason he wants us to get married. The reason that he wants you to go to Malfoy Manner, is because he wants to make this harder on you. I think he also plans... he plans to have me..." Draco hesitated and she could see that he was no longer looking at her. What did his father have planned for him. The obvious came to mind. Hermione felt her heart beat furiously.

Could he mean...

"Does your father plan on having you become a Death Eater?" She could hear the panic in her own voice. Part of her did not want to know the answer, didn't want to hear the answer. This had been her worse fear. She would _not_ get married to a Death Eater. That night in the trophy room he had told her that he wasn't a Death Eater and she had believed him. Still believed him, but if that was going to change, she was not going to let him go through with it.

He wasn't saying anything. Why wasn't he saying anything?

"Of course not. That's not what I meant. I just think that he plans to have me make your life miserable. That's all."

Hermione gave an audible sigh of relief. It wasn't that she didn't care that Lucius might have plans to do something to her, it was just that it would be incredibly stupid for him to actually do it. Everyone, Dumbledore included, would know that she was at Malfoy Manor, and everyone would know who was the culprit if anything happened to her. Even if something looked accidental there was no way that any of her friends would settle for that. Lucius Malfoy would have to be foolish to do anything to her.

As for Draco making her miserable, well, she supposed knowing he wouldn't really mean it was something. She could take care of herself and it was only for two weeks. Two long weeks. She hadn't yet come up with a plan to get out of going but it was definitely on her list of things to do.

"I'm sure that I will be fine. If you're that worried about it we can just find a way to stay here for Spring Break." She didn't know exactly how they could go about doing that. There were many things that they could do to get the privilege to go home taken away. All of it involved breaking the rules, which wasn't an idea that she was particularly fond of. There was another problem in addition to trying to figure out which rule to break. Apparently the rules of Hogwarts were held second to that of her marriage contract. Even if they could get Dumbledore to punish them and take away their right to go home it was still in the new clause of their marriage contract.

Which would need Lucius approval to amend. Getting stuck at Hogwarts would definitely not be an easy thing to do.

"How do you suggest we do that?" asked Draco. It looked as if he was making himself comfortable. She was now fully awake at this point and she supposed it was a good reason to stay up late. She didn't want to go to Malfoy Manor anymore than he apparently did. Still, it might be a little easier to have this conversation in the middle of the day when her brain was fully working.

Still, this had obviously been worrying Draco so much that he had been unable to sleep because of it. It was odd to see this side of him. What was even more strange was that she was beginning to see the mechanics of the Malfoy's relationship. He hadn't known about the marriage, or seemingly the amendment, and the plans for Spring break. She supposed it wasn't overly strange that Lucius would do these things without talking with Draco. What was surprising was how much she could see Draco wanted to rebel against what his father wanted. She had always pictured Lucius handing out orders and Draco obediently following them without thinking twice. The least that she could do was at least come up with a few suggestions to ease his mind and then they could come up with the details later.

Normally, she would have made him leave, however there was currently nothing normal about her life. So she let him stay.

* * *

Draco sat on her bed looking at her in the moonlight trying to justify lying to her. He had been so close to telling her the truth. So close to actually confiding in her. He had heard the sound in her voice when she had asked about the Death Eater initiation and he had chickened out at the last moment. She wouldn't understand. She wouldn't be able to do anything about it anyway. It was best not to let her know. It would only add hostility to their newfound almost-friendship.

Granger would want him to stand up to his father and he couldn't. She wouldn't be able to understand the position he was in or how he couldn't defy his father. Honestly he wasn't sure he wanted her to understand. Explaining everything to her, letting her know his countless fears was not something that he was sure he had it in him to do. He didn't expect her to understand, he didn't have the ability to make her understand. What was the point in destroying the tentative understanding they had developed with one another?

If they could find a way to stay at Hogwarts then all of his problems would go away, at least for a few months. He wanted nothing more than to forget about his father's plans for him. Just the thought of it made his heart race. He wanted to pretend just for a little while that everything was okay even if he knew that it wasn't.

He also had to admit that it was nice to be sitting so close to her. Nice to be near someone. For someone who was so used to being alone and keeping everyone at arm's length it felt almost nice to let some one in just a little. Share his fears just enough to take the edge off.

Looking at her he felt a surge of affection that he didn't know that he was capable of. Granger was going to fix this, find some way out of this. He had never had someone like that in his life. Even if she believed it was more for her benefit than his, she was helping him. She had made things bearable for him lately. Here they were together, in the middle of the night doing nothing but talking. He reminded himself that it wasn't the first time that they had been sitting together in the middle of the night. She was quiet, whether thinking or asleep he didn't know. Finally an idea occurred to him.

"What if... one of us was stuck in the infirmary. Sick or something?" he asked her. She seemed to consider it for a few moments before answering.

"That could work. It would be hard to fool Madame Pomfrey though. She can fix anything… Actually, I suppose we can find something akin to the Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes. I'm sure Ron has some Puking Pastilles and Fever Fudge in one of his trucks. We take them the day before Spring Break, then owl your father about it. it would make sense for both of to be sick at the same time since we're sharing quarters now. It would make him look bad if he made either of us travel to Malfoy Manor while we were sick. Voila, we get a free pass to stay home," she said happily.

Draco was happy that it seemed as if they had come up with a solution. It sounded like a good idea and if they were lucky it would work. He felt calmer already. The fear was subsiding, a tentative peace was flowing over him. He felt so tired all of a sudden. It was the middle of the night so he guessed that could be expected. He felt his eyes droop as he fought to stay awake. He could hear her talking about the finer details and he listened to the sound of her voice and before he could stop himself all sound faded into the distance and he fell asleep.

Draco could see the sunlight before he even opened his eyes. He cracked one open and from the window he could see that the sun was beginning to rise. He laid there for a moment as the previous night's events came to him. He realized who's bed he was in. Who's hair was tickling his face. At some point he had moved from sitting up with his back against the head board to laying in the bed with her. There was even a blanket draped over him that he didn't remember putting there.

He had to admit, he liked the smell of her hair.

Annoyed with himself for such a ridiculous thought, he realized that this was the second time in his life that he had fallen asleep next to another person. He also realized that as far as he could tell he hadn't had any nightmares, which in itself was a miracle. They'd been coming almost nightly lately, and with the topic so near to his mind as it had been he couldn't believe he hadn't woken up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat.

He didn't know what time it was but it was probably time to start getting up to get ready for class and breakfast. Honestly, he really didn't want to move. He was warm and comfortable and he really felt okay. He liked the moments when he felt like his life was actually not that bad. It was strange to him that she played a part in that. Just a few days ago she had been connected to almost every reason why he was unhappy.

He felt like they were really becoming friends, or as close to that as the two of them and their history would allow.

Honestly, that worried him. He had tried his best not to think about the future but it had to be thought about. In reality it would be easier for him to marry her if he didn't care about her, or what happened to her. If he hated her, if he wanted to hurt her. Honestly he was worried about her. He was worried for the both of them. Being married didn't seem so bad at first thought but then he started to realize that so many people who married each other while they were in love had terrible marriages and got divorced hating each other. He and Granger weren't even going to have that base to build on. Friends at best.

Draco told himself that maybe that would be enough to get them through three years. After all, if they lacked the passion of people that were in love with each other, how bad could their fights be? Yet if they didn't have any real reason to make up would there ever be any making up? He sighed, it was too early for thoughts like that. He wasn't even married yet.

He looked over at her, seeing nothing but her mass of curly hair. He'd be lying if he said it wasn't nice to have someone to sleep next to. He had always been very picky about his space. Pansy, or no one else for that matter, had ever stayed in his bed for very long. Still, he wasn't finding it entirely unpleasant. It made him feel less alone and he liked that. It was a very rare occasion that he didn't feel lonely. He knew that he shouldn't. He knew that when he thought about it later he would feel embarrassed for even having thoughts like this. Would want to kick himself for showing her that he had been worried about Spring break.

Merlin, he hated showing vulnerability.

Yet time after time he came to her, and she pulled it out of him, whether he wanted her to or not. She made him feel weak and he hated that with a passion. And as much as he hated it, it was hard to hate her for it.

Draco was sure that he was going to have some explaining to do when she woke up. After all, he had interrupted her in the middle of the night and then he had fallen asleep in her bed. He was quite sure that she would be unhappy with him for that. Even though she easily could have woken him up or even used a spell to send him back to his room. He was almost happy that she hadn't.

He felt her shift on the bed and as she rolled over to face him her hair moved and was no longer tickling his face. She was looking at him puzzled and he wondered if maybe she had accidentally fallen asleep and not even realized that he hadn't been awake to see himself out. Either way, he was here now.

"Good morning Granger," he said with a sleepy almost-smile.

* * *

As always, review so that I don't become really sad and end up rocking back in forth in a darkened corner while my heart slowly breaks and this story goes unfinished for the rest of time. :P


	14. The Morning

Hermione woke up to find sunlight filling her room. She was glad that she had slept fairly peacefully. After all, she was in new surroundings and she had worried that it might be a little hard to adjust to being in her new room. The night's events came back to her and she realized that _he_ was still in her bed. She could feel his presence beside her. They weren't touching in any way but she could just sense that he was there. She had hoped that he would wake up and creep away in the middle of the night. This was going to be an awkward awakening.

She laid there for a moment and her eyes traveled to the window. It was a beautiful late-winter morning. The sun had just climbed over the surrounding trees. On cold mornings like this she was reminded of when she was little and she'd climb into her parents bed just to feel their warmth. Blankets were all well and good but feeling a warm somebody beside you on a cold morning was always so much nicer. It had been a very long time since she had felt that kind of warmth. The more that she thought about it, the less she minded that he had fallen asleep with her. Still, it was time for him to wake up.

Hermione rolled over to find that he was already awake. She was glad that she was spared having to wake him up. Waking up in bed with Draco Malfoy was not something that she had expected to happen. They had not planned to sleep together, even after they were married. The fact that she had voluntarily allowed him to fall asleep with her slightly confused her. The majority of the hate that she felt towards him had disappeared and left only small amounts of resentment. A tentative friendship had been formed but still that did not translate into sleeping in bed together. Or that fact that despite everything, she almost liked it.

"Good morning, Granger."

"Morning," she said shortly, feeling very awkward and self conscious. They were both clothed and under blankets but he was a man and he was in her bed and that was a situation that she had absolutely no prior experience with.

Hermione looked at him and felt a smile tugging at the corner of her lips. Strange and befuddling as this was it wasn't a bad thing. Last night he had fallen asleep while she was talking, a fact that had caused her minor annoyance, after all, he had been the one that had woken her up in the first place. It was only polite that he listen to her.

Not wanting to disturb his sleep, she had allowed him to stay there figuring that he would wake up on his own at some point and leave. Apparently, he had been pretty tired. Not that she could blame him. The stress from the last week had taken a toll on her body as well.

The last week.

It had been a full seven days since she'd found out she had to marry him. Seven days had never gone by so slowly in her entire life. She never wanted to relive those moments of agony. Something told her that she was going to go through the same thing towards the end of the school year as it sunk in that she would still have to marry him. Well, that was months away and she wasn't going to spend those months the same way she had spent the last seven days.

Was he ever going to get out of her bed?

There had to be some kind of protocol other than her telling him to get out of her bed and possibly throwing things at him. She did have to admit that she was finding the whole situation just a little bit amusing. She could just imagine what Ron and Harry would say if they were to walk in at that exact moment, nothing good she was sure.

"I guess I'd better go get ready for class," he said sitting up. He sure was taking his time about it. If she had woken up in his bed she would have scurried away as fast as possible. She wasn't sure if this was his way of subtly torturing her. Perhaps he wanted to make her feel awkward and here she was letting him.

"Yeah, it is getting a bit late," she said as she watched him climb out of her bed. He was almost to the door when he stopped and turned towards her. It was strange but she wasn't sure that she had ever seen him look at her the way that he was now. She didn't know what to make of it. It wasn't a bad look, she knew that much, but it spoke of feelings that she had never believed that he was capable of showing.

It was gratitude.

"I wanted to thank you for listening to me last night. You didn't have to... but... well... thanks," Draco said before heading out of her room and not giving her a chance to say anything. Although the only thing that she would have been able to muster up was a 'you're welcome' and really that seemed to fall short. Draco Malfoy had actually thanked her. That was definitely something that didn't happen everyday.

Hermione sat there for a few minutes before she finally decided to get out of bed. She could hear that Draco was in the shower and she hoped that he wouldn't take very long. She was partial to short showers herself only because she always had so much to do and it seemed silly to her to waste twenty minutes in the shower when it only took a few minutes to get clean. Her dorm-mates in Gryffindor hadn't seen it like that. Between Lavender and Parvati they used enough water in a morning to wash all the house elves in the castle twice over.

While Draco was using the shower Hermione sat down and began writing a letter to her parents. She generally tried to write them once a month and if she remembered correctly they were way past due for one. She had neglected to tell them about her engagement and she was going to keep it that way. She didn't want them to worry about her. They might even try to make her come home and she didn't want that. It was her last year at Hogwarts and she was intent on making it count. She decided that she might as well mention Draco. If they did get married her parents would find out eventually. Hermione was determined to make it look like it was her choice.

Her parents had sacrificed getting to watch her grow us sp that she could be a witch. They had trusted that they were making the right choice, that they were handing her off to a world that would help her reach her full potential. She couldn't let them know that world had let them down by forcing her to marry someone she didn't love. She didn't want them to feel as betrayed as she did.

Hermione reread the letter. There was the usual talk about school work and studying, the occasional mention of her friends. A request for them to tell her Grandma Granger hello. Finally she got near the end of the letter.

_There's this boy. His name is Draco and I think I really like him._

That ought to do the trick. Throughout the years she had neglected to go into detail about his bullying so she was confidant that her parents would not recognize his name. She felt bad for misleading them but by all intents and purposes she was an adult and she could take care of herself. Having them worry about her wasn't going to change anything.

Finally, when her letter had been put into an envelope and sealed, Hermione heard the shower stop. She gave him a few minutes while she gathered up all of the books she would need for the day's classes and then she decided to try her luck and see if he was out of the bathroom. She had just made it into the Common Room when the door to the bathroom opened. Draco walked out, glistening wet, wearing nothing but a towel around his waist.

Hermione wasn't one to gawk at the male body, but with him standing right in front of her she couldn't help but look. He was fit without being bulk, from Quidditch she supposed. His chest was bare and his hair was wet and hung around his face. He noticed her standing there and she felt her face go red with embarrassment. If there was anyone in the world that she didn't want to be caught looking at it was him.

"See something you like Granger?" he asked with a roguish smile.

"Yes. Bathroom's open," she said quickly before making her way inside and shutting the door.

Draco Malfoy was impossible... but Merlin he looked nice when he was nearly naked.

Hermione made her way down to the Great Hall. She didn't know if Draco had already left or if he was still up in his room. Really it didn't matter very much. She felt rather light hearted as she walked through the halls. She had been dreading this day, her former wedding day, so much that she was surprised it wasn't raining with lightening arching across the sky. This was going to be a good day, she was going to make it so.

She got down to the Great Hall and was surprised to see that her friends had already beat her there. She wondered if word of her postponed marriage had reached the rest of the students. She definitely hoped so. She didn't need any of them speculating about her wedding day or the wedding night when it was months away. In fact, she wanted everyone else to forget that it was even going to happen.

After all, that's what she was going to do.

* * *

Draco sat in the Common Room doing his arithmancy homework. It had been almost a month since he and Granger had moved in together. If he knew her schedule, and he did, then she would be walking through that door any minute. Generally after class she would spend the afternoon with her friends and then about three hours before she went to bed she'd come back up to their Common Room and read or do homework. It was the weekend but he hoped she would still appear at around the same time.

As much as he hated to admit it... he liked her company.

It had become a quaint little routine and he was used to it. While she was off with her friends he was studying and doing homework. He hadn't forgotten about the bet that they had made that night in the Trophy Room. He was attempting to surpass her as best student in their year. It was a lot harder than he had originally anticipated. He'd managed to get a few extra credit assignments finished and that had helped. Still, he was insanely tired of the work already. He was used to bribing other students into doing most of his assignments and the fact that he couldn't cheat was annoying him as well.

Draco was surprised at how easily this month had gone buy. He spent a very limited around of time with his fellow Slytherin, in fact lately, much to Pansy's chagrin, the only time he saw them was in class and at meals. Granger spent a lot of time in the Gryffindor Common Room but Draco felt no need to mimic her actions. He enjoyed being away from them. It made it easier to block out the more unpleasant realities of his life.

Things with Pansy were reaching a breaking point. He hadn't spent any significant amount of time with her and the last few days she had refused to let him forget it. As the weeks went by she got more and more jealous of Granger, convinced that he was sleeping with her. Draco was surprised to admit that he wasn't currently sleeping with anyone, and it wasn't as difficult as he thought it would be. He wasn't doing it for Granger, wasn't doing it for anyone's benefit. He just didn't feel like it, he supposed stress had a way of effecting a person's libido like that.

He looked at the door, wondering when she was going to show up. Yesterday had been Saturday and he'd hardly seen her at all and today had been much the same way. He had to admit that he missed her a little bit. Even though most of their time together was spent in silence he still enjoyed having someone there to talk to should he be in the mood. It was a sort of comfort to him. One that he very much needed] at the moment. If the both of them didn't find a way to stay at the castle then in four days they were going to have to go to Malfoy Manor for the Spring vacation.

That was simply not going to happen.

Which was why he was impatiently waiting for her to walk through the door. He had to make sure that she still wanted to go through with their plan, that she had the Weasley-whatsits that would make them sick. As each day passed he was getting more and more nervous, and having more anxiety about it as well. It was getting harder to sleep, harder to concentrate on his stupid studies, harder not to tell her.

So many times they had been sitting there in silence and he had wanted nothing more than to just tell her about the plan for him to become a Death Eater. To get it off of his chest. Hope she understood. That was the one thing that stopped him from doing it. He had spent hours laying in bed coming up with his own strategies to no avail. The only thing she would tell him was to tell Dumbledore.

He couldn't do that.

Couldn't betray his father.

Couldn't betray that part of himself.

What Draco really wanted was for her to understand that he had to go through with it, and for her to be there for him anyway. He was under no illusions about her. She had such a strong moral code and he knew that no matter how he tried to justify it she just wouldn't understand. Really he couldn't blame her. He needed someone who wouldn't praise him for being a Death Eater, like Pansy, but also someone who wouldn't condemn him for it. At this point he was sure that she would. Which was why he had to keep all of the fear and anxiety to himself.

Maybe in time.

Draco turned as he heard the door open and shut. He watched her walk across the room towards him and he was glad to see her even though he wouldn't admit it. She sat down in one of the chairs near the fireplace and looked at him with a grin on her face. He wasn't sure what she was happy about but he had a feeling it had to do with him. He'd find out later. The sooner they went over their plan to stay in the castle the sooner he was going to be able to really breathe.

"I wanted to talk to you about how we're getting out of going home," Draco said as he put his things on the table and then leaned back on the sofa with his arms behind his head. He knew that he should have brought it up sooner but he had been trying his hardest to block it out.

"Which is exactly what I wanted to talk to you about. Look what I managed to commandeer from Ron," she said as she opened her hand to reveal what looked like candy. Draco felt excitement for the first time in several days. The whole plan of making themselves appear sick might work after all. He had worried that maybe she wouldn't be able to get any of the candy or that someone might figure out what they were up to. At least the former seemed to have been taken care of.

"You got the Wheezing whatsits?"

"The last Ron had. You wouldn't believe how difficult it was to get them. I had to ask to borrow one of his books, dig through his chest, 'accidentally' find them, and then 'confiscate' them," Hermione said as she safely tucked them back into her pocket. Draco had to admit that for once in his life he was thankful for a Weasley.

"Why didn't you just ask for them?" he asked confused. He was sure that Weasley would have gladly handed them over to her. He had a feeling that Weasley would do just about anything for her. He wasn't blind, the whole school could see how he felt about her. The only one that seemed to be oblivious to it was her. He had to admit that he was glad for that. The last thing he needed was for her to realized that Weasley was in love with her, and possibly that she was in love with Weasley. That would make things so much more complicated than they already were.

He was surprised that just the thought of it made him feel a twinge of jealousy. He knew that they had allowed for the possibility of them seeing other people but he hoped that she would have better sense than to make Weasley that person. The only thing that could potentially be worse would be Potter.

"I figure the less people who know about the plan the better. Not that they would ever tell, but, I haven't exactly told them about having to go yet. I figured it would only upset them and I really didn't see the point if we didn't have to go. Which, with the help of these shouldn't be a problem." He understood her point. The last thing he needed was either of her friends accusing him of ruining her life even more than he already had.

"So what's the plan?"

* * *

I hope you enjoyed. Reviews are always welcome and so much appreciated!


	15. The Plan

Hermione felt absolutely _ill_. She couldn't believe that she had decided to go through with this plan. Feeling feverish and vomiting was definitely something that she could live without. However at the time it had seemed like the only way to convince everyone that she and Malfoy were actually sick. Next time she'd come up with a better plan, one that didn't involve actually projectile vomit.

She was on her way to the Hospital Wing in hopes that Madame Pomfrey would admit her and then send a note to Lucius Malfoy telling him that it was not in the best interest of her health to travel. Draco was supposed to go down to the infirmary with the same symptoms in about half an hour. They had decided that she would be the more believable one and that Madame Pomfrey would be less likely to think that Hermione was faking her sickness. Hopefully she would believe Draco as well.

Besides, it was hard to accuse someone of faking when real vomit was coming up. She had at least prepared herself and had drank lots of water through out the day so that she didn't get dehydrated. Still, it didn't seem to help things all that much. Next time she was definitely going to come up with a better plan.

They were currently without a back-up plan so if this didn't work she wasn't sure what they were doing to do. She understood why he wanted to stay here at Hogwarts and she wasn't thrilled about going to Malfoy Manor either, but there was something about the way that he looked whenever they discussed it that worried her. She had a feeling that he wasn't telling her everything.

That night when he had come into her room to talk she'd had the same feeling. It wasn't anything that she could pin point but she could sense his fear and that worried her. She planned to confront him about it later. If he was keeping something from her then she had a right to know what it was. While she wanted to believe that it was just simple concern for her well being she wasn't sure that he cared that much. It would be nice to think that he truly didn't want anything to happen to her but it was Draco Malfoy. The only person he really cared about was himself.

Hermione had never understood what she was now coming to realize. It was obvious that Malfoy's father abused him. Maybe not physically, but definitely emotionally. The level of fear that she felt whenever he mentioned Lucius was not natural. It definitely put things into perspective.

It honestly even made her feel bad for him. She would never tell him that. He'd resent her feelings and be angry with her for pitying him. Honestly she did pity him. Over this last month she wondered what kind of person he'd be without his father around. She'd seen glimpses of a real human being in him at times. She liked to think that underneath the layers, the multiple layers, of hatefulness, vanity, coldness, and callousness, there was someone worth liking.

Which was why she was currently puking her guts out for him.

She finally reached the infirmary and mentally prepared herself to look sick. It wasn't so hard to do. She had been vomiting for the last ten minutes and her skin was hot and sweaty with a fever. Just for good measure she had taken her hair down and it fell in an unruly mass around her face. She was sure that the dark circles that were under her eyes from not being able to sleep last night weren't hurting her cause either.

Madame Pomfrey was sitting in her office doing paperwork and Hermione knocked on the door. The mediwitch looked up at her and then immediately got up and went to the door.

"Miss Granger, dear, you look a fright," Madame Pomfrey said as she led her down the hallway to a room that was set up with several beds. She made Hermione sit down on one of the beds and then she took her temperature. Once that was done she asked her to describe her symptoms. Hermione did, describing a few other ones just to make herself a bit more believable. Draco had his own list of symptoms but his weren't going to be exactly the same as hers. That would be too suspicious.

At that moment she felt like she was going to be sick so grabbed a basin and put it to good use while Madame Pomfrey held her hair back. Yes, this plan definitely better work. Her stomach felt horrible and she couldn't wait to take the other piece of the puking pastille and fever fudge so that she could get back to feeling like her usual self.

"I'm afraid that it looks like you have the flu. No cure for that I'm afraid. Right before the holiday too. What a shame. You definitely should not be going out and about. You have your own room correct?"

Hermione nodded, glad that her ruse seemed to be working. It was a small consolation seeing as how she wasn't sure that she had ever felt more sick in her life. She had, unfortunately, decided to eat lunch earlier and it was no fun revisiting it the several times that she had so far. If all of this was for nothing she was going to be furious.

"Well hopefully no one else has caught it. I would let you go back up to your room to stay for the night but it's so much easier to see that you're taken care of down here so we'll make you a bed and get you some water and a bit of broth. Hopefully you'll be feeling better in no time."

"I hope so too," Hermione mumbled as she cursed Fred and George Weasley for coming up with such a horrible idea for a candy. It was working to her advantage at the moment but she felt so incredibly nauseous. When Madame Pomfrey came back with an extra blanket and a tray of broth and water Hermione explained, between heaves, the situation to her about how she was expected to be on the Hogwart's Express in the morning so that she could go to Malfoy Manor for the holiday. Hermione was relieved when Madame Pomfrey said that it would be taken care of.

A few minutes later Hermione heard a knock at the door and Madame Pomfrey rushed off, only to come back a minute later with Draco in tow. He didn't look much better than she did and she took a little bit of satisfaction out of that. At least she wasn't having to suffer alone. The Mediwitch steered him towards a bed on the far side of the room and then they began talking. She couldn't here what they were talking about anyway so she pulled the curtain around her bed and then got into bed. She didn't see the point of prolonging the vomiting so she discreetly slipped the other piece of the puking pastille in her mouth, chewed, and swallowed it quickly. Instantly her stomach felt better, in more ways than one. There plan had worked so far and that made her happy.

She'd keep the fever going for just a little bit longer and then she'd feel back to normal, except for the horrible after taste she had in her mouth. She grabbed the bowl of broth and drank it, happy that her stomach wasn't rebelling anymore. As soon as Madame Pomfrey left them to get some sleep Hermione would take out the several books she had shrunk and stuck in her pocket, resize them and then start studying. One could never study too much.

She wondered how Draco was doing.

After Madame Pomfrey had Draco all settled she came back, gave Hermione a few spoonfuls of medicine, telling her it should help bring her fever down, and then she cleared away the empty bowl. After a little while she told them both to get some rest, and then turned out the light.

Figuring that she wouldn't be back for at least a few hours, if not by morning, Hermione got out of her bed and walked across the room to Draco's. He looked rather pleased with himself too. Hermione took a seat on the bed that was next to him.

"I think we need to talk." Hermione wanted him to tell her why this meant so much to him. The more she thought about it the more she was convinced that Malfoy did not go through all this trouble because he was worried that Lucius might be mean to her. There was simply no way. She had trusted him thus far and she wanted to know the real reason, and she wanted him to be the one to tell it to her.

* * *

"What do we need to talk about?" asked Draco as he laid back on his bed with his arms behind his head. He was feeling pretty good right about now. Madame Pomfrey thought that he had the flu and was probably at that very moment owling his father and telling him that they had both come down with it and needed to stay at Hogwarts and rest. For the first time in the last week his stomach actually felt okay, part of that he was sure was from the remedy to the puking candy. He felt like this whole thing was actually going to work.

"What's the real reason that you don't want to go home tomorrow?" she asked bluntly. Draco looked at her wondering how she knew that there was something that he was keeping from her. Had she gone through his things? No, of course not, he had burned all of the letters his father had sent him anyway. What was he going to say? The truth. He could tell her the truth. She might believe that he didn't want to be a Death Eater. Especially after all of the trouble that he was going through to get out of it.

He could tell her.

It wouldn't be so hard. Just open his mouth and let the words come out. She would understand the predicament that he was in. He'd explain how it was either follow in his father's footsteps or suffer consequences that he didn't even want to think about. It went much farther than disinheritance, although Draco was sure that would happen as well. Honestly, he sometimes feared for his life. These last few years had changed his father. He had become so filled with hate, and anger, and absolute devotion to Voldemort that Draco wasn't sure what he would do if his son told him that he was going to go against everything their family believed in.

He definitely wasn't going to risk finding out.

Would Granger accept his decision? Probably not. Absolutely not. He knew how she felt, he knew where her allegiances lay. There were so many reasons not to tell her. The greatest reason of all was that he was afraid that she would simply let him go through with it and then turn him in. If he was convicted of being a Death Eater and was sent to Azkaban for the rest of his life that would leave her free and clear of this whole marriage situation.

She'd be free to marry Weasley then.

That was probably what she really wanted.

No, he couldn't tell her. He sat there being quiet, wondering what he was going to day. She knew that he was hiding something so it was no use to tell her that he wasn't. He had to think fast or she was really going to become suspicious. Something occurred to him and he figured that he had nothing to lose so he might as well go with it.

"I'm afraid."

"What are you afraid of?" she asked softly.

"That if we end up having to go to Malfoy Manor it will make you hate me. I know that this hasn't been easy for you and I know that you blame me and my father. I just think that if you were there, if we were there together, it might make things harder. We've finally gotten to the point that we can talk to each other and I don't want that to change." That was the truth, not all of it, but enough that maybe she would stop asking questions.

Draco wanted them to get along and he wasn't going to do anything to actively sabotage that. Keeping things from her seemed like the easiest course of action. He wasn't sure what he was going to do in the future. It seemed inevitable that she would find out. If not before they got married then afterwards. He would find some way to tell her eventually. Now just wasn't the time.

Hermione was quiet for a moment and Draco wondered if she believed him or not. He hoped so because he was running out of excuses.

"I was actually afraid of the same thing. When we're here I can pretend that this," she pointed between the two of them, "doesn't really exist. Three months is a long ways away, at least I like to pretend that it is, and I don't like being reminded of what will happen at the end of that. Thank you for being honest with me."

Draco's stomach didn't feel so settled anymore. He wasn't being completely honest but there was no way around it. It was so hard for him to trust anyone. He certainly didn't trust her. At least not yet.

"I guess we should be getting some rest," she said as she stood up. "Sleep well."

"You too," he mumbled. He laid back down in the bed trying not to think. Trying not to feel like a liar and a coward. Well, he wasn't going to become a Death Eater for awhile so there was time to find out a way to tell her the truth. He let that thought comfort him as he fell into a deep, dreamless, sleep.

It was the first time in a very long time he had no nightmares.

Draco opened his eyes to see the room filled with light. Looking up he could see Madame Pomfrey standing next to his bed. She did not look very happy. For a moment he wondered if she had discovered that he and Hermione had been less than honest about being sick. He had hidden the wrappers in his pocket and he didn't think the Mediwitch had searched him while he was sleeping. Even if she had, it was too late for that to matter. Even if she had found out that they were faking the flu she had already told his father that he was sick.

Right now he would take any consequences that were dished out as far as punishment went. He had looked his greatest fear in the face and he had come out with more time. More time bought the hope that things would change. He was holding onto that.

"I'm sorry to wake you Mr. Malfoy. I just got a letter from your father. He insists that you come home. Apparently there's a family emergency and he needs you right away, sick or not. I hope you're feeling a little bit better?" she asked as she briskly placed a hand on his forehead. Draco was trying to think through the haze of sleep and panic in his head. He had to go home? But their plan had worked _perfectly_, this didn't make any sense.

"Dumbledore is giving you a compartment all to yourself on the train so that no one else gets sick."

"All to myself?" Draco asked confused as he looked across the room at Hermione. From the looks of it she was still fast asleep. He wanted her to wake up, to help him find some way out of this. She was the smartest person he knew, there had to be something she could come up with to save him.

"He only requested your presence. Not hers. She's staying here at Hogwarts. You'd best go get packed."

Draco leaned over the bed and vomited in earnest.

It had all been for nothing. The plan hadn't worked. He was still having to go home. Go home alone. He felt like he was going to have a panic attack and ways not to leave came flashing through his head at lightening speed. He would go to Dumbledore right now and tell him everything.

He didn't know which was greater, his fear of what his father would do to him, or the Death Eater ceremony itself. He didn't want to go through this, he couldn't go through with this. He didn't have it in him. He wasn't strong enough to go through with it. He wasn't brave enough, at the end of the day he was a coward.

So he'd take the coward's way out.

It took more bravery to talk to Dumbledore, to ask for help.

Bravery was something he was in very short supply of.

He was going to become a Death Eater.

* * *

**Thank you for reading, have a lovely weekend and make mine by leaving a review!**


	16. The Train Ride Home

Hermione woke up in the infirmary, insanely glad that she was feeling better. The muscles in her stomach were still a bit sore from all of the vomiting that she had done the night before but other than that she felt fine. She couldn't even remember the last time she had thrown up before last night. It had at least been more than a year.

She hated being sick and every year during the flu season she made it a habit to drink as much orange juice as possible and wash her hands as much as she could without feeling obsessive about it. When you were sick it was hard to study and she couldn't afford to lose out on that time.

She hated the smell of the hospital wing. It smelled of bleach and antiseptic and reminded her of being in the hospital. It had been a long time since she'd been in one of those but the memories were not pleasant. Hopefully Madame Pomfrey would be satisfied with her current condition enough to let her go back up to her room. She planned on spending the next several days lounging in her room or hanging out in the Gryffindor Common Room. Harry, Ron, and Ginny had decided to stay home for the Spring break and she was planning on spending as much time with them as possible.

Hermione even planned to cut down a bit on the studying. Right now she felt like she was doing well as far as every subject went. She could always use some brushing up on Potions, as it was hard to memorize potion ingredients and the potions they were used to but she had made flash cards a few weeks ago and they were helping immensely. She could now name the seventeen different uses for bicorn powder, in alphabetical order. It wouldn't be bad to take a break, and as she kept being reminded this was her last year at Hogwarts.

For the next few days things could go back to the way they were. Hermione was very much looking forward to it. She hadn't realized how much she would miss them all until she'd had to leave them. It made her happy to know that she still had her best friends to rely on when she needed them, even if they were sleeping in different parts of the castle now. Hermione sat up in her bed and took a drink from the glass of water that was sitting on the night stand.

Hermione then looked across the room to where Draco had slept. The bed was empty and nicely made. Hermione wondered where he was and why he hadn't woken her up. Perhaps Madame Pomfrey had allowed him to go back to his room. That gave her a little bit of hope. She went back to her bed and then rang the little bell that sat on the bedside table. It didn't make a sound, as it was magical in nature and wasn't supposed to, but it would alert the mediwitch that Hermione wanted her.

A few moments later Madame Pomfrey appeared and walked over to Hermione's bed.

"Yes dear? Can I get you anything?" she asked Hermione worriedly.

"I was just wondering if... Draco, went back to his room already." It felt incredibly strange to call him by his first name, so much so that for a moment she thought that she had forgotten what his real name was. They were still on a last name basis and Hermione didn't really see herself being comfortable enough to call him anything but Malfoy.

"Mr. Malfoy should be half way to Kings Cross Station by now."

Hermione felt like the wind had been knocked out of her. Half way to Kings Cross Station? How in the world had that happened? Just last night they had been in this room together and suddenly he was gone? Why hadn't he said something? At least a goodbye?

Lots of questions and he wasn't there with the answers.

"I thought that he was sick. Why did he have to go home?" she asked, trying to sound as casual as possible. She was a little bit worried about him. She knew that he hadn't wanted to go home and the fact that he hadn't even bothered to tell her that he was leaving had given her an unhappy feeling in the pit of her stomach.

"That's something that you'll have to ask him. His father requested his presence but agreed that it was best for you to stay here at Hogwarts. How are you feeling?" Madame Pomfrey asked as she laid a hand on Hermione's forehead.

"A little bit better," Hermione admitted. She wanted to know why Lucius had made it okay for her to stay but not Draco. It didn't make a whole lot of sense to her. Something just wasn't right about the whole entire situation. Part of her wondered if this had been the plan from the beginning. Perhaps it was their way of testing her, seeing how rebellious she was. Maybe she had made a mistake by helping him with this plan. Maybe he was going to tell his father.

Hermione pushed those thoughts out of her head. It had been his idea to stay in the first place. If anything he had coerced her into going along with it. Maybe coerced wasn't the right word, but she had gone along with it more for his benefit than her own. Of course she wasn't keen on the idea of staying at Malfoy Manor but it hadn't frightened her as it had him.

"Well, if you've stopped vomiting, and make sure you stay dehydrated, I see no reason why you can't go back up to your room. If you start feeling badly again then pay me another visit. Make sure you give yourself lots of time to rest over the next few days and I'm sure you'll be right as rain."

Hermione thanked her and when Madame Pomfrey had left Hermione rushed up to their Common Room in the hopes that he had left her a note or something explaining what had happened.

A quick once over of their Common Room and of her room revealed nothing. She opened the door to his room and looked inside only to find that it was empty of any message and she sighed. Well, at least she was going to be able to spend her Spring Break with the people that she loved and not with her future in-laws that had attempted to ruin her life. One Lucius Malfoy especially.

Hermione couldn't help but be angry that he hadn't bothered to wake her up and tell her that he was leaving. She knew Draco wasn't thoughtful, and it was probably hard for him to think of someone else's feelings, but she had vomited for him, the least he could have done was let her know personally that the plan had failed.

Hermione showered, got dressed, and then headed down to the Great Hall to find something to eat. It was already after eleven and she kicked herself for sleeping that long. If she'd woken up earlier then maybe she would've been able to talk to him. She didn't know why it mattered or why she cared, but she just wanted to make sure that he was alright.

She made it down to the Great Hall and was delighted to see that her friends had beaten her there. It looked like they'd been there since breakfast because there were empty plates spread across the table and they were playing Wizard's Chess. When they saw her they excitedly waved her over.

"We were wondering when you were finally going to get out of bed," Harry said with a grin.

"I'm sorry, I stayed up late because I was -"

"Studying," Ron finished for her, rolling his eyes.

"Yeah, something like that," she said with a smile. Things felt normal again and she was determined to have a wonderful break and forget about the future and any badness that might come with it. If Malfoy hadn't wanted to say good bye, well it was his choice and she wasn't going to worry about it. He was going home.

He'd be fine.

Lucius wouldn't do anything to hurt his precious heir.

* * *

Draco tried to control the nausea that had nothing to do with yesterday's puking pastilles. The stress and panic he was feeling had made his stomach feel as if it was a boat in the middle of a thunderstorm. The motion of the train definitely wasn't helping anything either. He hated feeling this way, trapped, helpless, not in control of anything. It was a feeling that he was beginning to get used to.

He wanted so badly to be back at Hogwarts and again he cursed his father for ruining their plan. There was no "family emergency" he was sure. Just his father's way of getting him to do exactly what he wanted him to. He was used to it. Draco the puppet. That's what he was. He looked out the window as the countryside flew by. He was glad that he was in a compartment by himself. It gave him time to think, time to process things, a little bit of peace. Not that peace was especially easy to find at the moment.

And his head was pounding.

Really he wasn't sure that the day could get any worse. First Madame Pomfrey had awakened him with the news, then he'd had to pack all of his things, while fighting against a potential anxiety attack. Only to get on the train, feeling nauseous and with a headache, to realize that he had forgotten something rather important.

A goodbye.

Draco was kind of happy that he had been so distracted that he hadn't managed to find the time to tell her that he was going home. It was better that way. He wasn't sure that he would've been able to tell her anything without giving her the whole truth and he was still against that idea. This was the way that it had to be. She'd probably wake up, notice he was gone, be annoyed that the plan had failed, and then go about her day, happy that she didn't have to leave. If he was her that's what he would do.

He wanted to fall asleep to make the time go faster but he wasn't at all sleepy so he contented himself with looking out the window. He had attempted to try to think of another way to get out of this whole situation but it just seemed like no matter what he did he was going to end up in the same place and that was at home with his father. He couldn't run from destiny so he really didn't see the point in trying anymore.

The rest of the train ride passed slowly for him. On one side he was glad that the inevitable was being delayed by the slow passage of time, yet on the other hand he wanted it to go by quickly so that he could stop thinking about it, dreading it, and just get it over with. He had to just do it. Acceptance was the only way that he was going to be able to get through this without going insane.

Draco spent the whole time wishing that he had told Granger. That she was coming with him. That she was in the compartment, sitting silently next to him letting him know that he wasn't in this alone.

Ultimately he was in this alone.

Finally the Hogwarts Express pulled into King's Cross station. Draco was one of the last ones off the train because his legs felt like they were made of lead. He finally got to the platform and through the hustle and bustle of the crowd he saw his father's pale blond hair and black robes sticking out in stark contrast to most of the others. He didn't see his mother and figured that she had probably decided to stay home.

Draco made his way over to his father carrying his suitcase in his sweaty hand. He really wanted to be far away from where he was. Without a word his father turned and walked away and Draco silently followed him. They went through the wall and into the muggle part of the train station. Draco followed him out of the station and then into a black ministry provided car. This was usually how it went.

Once they were in the car it began to travel quickly through the streets of London towards the Leaky Cauldron. Draco absently looked out the window as he tried his very best to pretend that this wasn't all happening and that his father wasn't sitting right there next to him.

"How is your little arrangement with the Mudblood going?" his father asked breaking the silence.

Draco wanted to shrug but then he realized who he was talking to. One did not shrug at Lucius Malfoy. He also wanted to point out that 'the Mudblood's" name was Granger.

"We don't talk very often. I think she's stopped wanting to curse me while I sleep," he said, still staring out the window. He didn't want to have this conversation. He didn't want to lie. He wanted to tell his father the truth, that whatever he had planned for Granger wasn't going to work because Draco was going to do his best not to let it.

"The plan was genius. Damn Dumbledore for throwing a wrench in the plans. We were hoping that Potter would be too distracted over his little friend's unfortunate circumstances that it could work to our advantage. Which one is she in love with do you know? Potter or Weasley?" Lucius asked. Draco looked at his father and tried not to let his annoyance show. Was he really serious? Did he really expect him to know the answer to that question?

"I really don't know. Like I said, we don't talk very much and I haven't caught her doing anything with either one of them," Draco replied.

"Hm, I suppose it doesn't matter. A distraction is a distraction."

The silence was deafening to him. He could hear his heart pounding in his ears and he felt like a rabbit about to be devoured by a snake. It was honestly taking every bit of self control not to empty his stomach again. How was he supposed to sit there, calmly, when every nightmare he'd had in the last six months was supposed to come true. How was he supposed to survive this.

"How are your studies?" his father asked, breaking the silence.

"My studies are fine." Part of him wanted to share the achievement of his rising grades but he didn't think it really mattered to his father. There was only one way to make his father proud and it had nothing to do with Arithmancy and History of Magic. Only one way to make him proud and he was going to do whatever it took to do that. He was a Malfoy and it was time that he start acting like one.

He was going home.

* * *

**Review me and I will bless you with a wonderful weekend! If you enjoy this story then I suggest that you read my other Draco/Hermione stories, Twilight and Shadows, Poison, and Between the Lines. Thanks!**


	17. The Death Eater Ceremony

Hermione sat at the window looking off into the darkness. Several days had passed since the beginning of Spring break and each day she found herself growing more uneasy than the day before. The strange thing was that there wasn't anything that she could pinpoint that was causing her to feel that way. All of the students would be returning in a few days and she had to admit that she was looking forward to it. For one reason and one reason only. She wanted to see Malfoy.

She wanted to make sure that he was okay.

She would be lying if she said that she hadn't thought about him a lot in these last several days. In fact he had been in her thoughts more than she liked to admit. He was driving her to distraction and she realized that it was because she was worried about him. She didn't know why, really there was no reason to be, but she couldn't help but think that perhaps something wasn't right. It all had to do with the letter that she'd gotten the morning of the second day he'd been gone.

Oddly enough, Hermione had carried it around in her pocket all this time. She pulled it out and carefully unfolded the parchment. It was simple enough, just a few sentences, but she kept trying to find some sort of hidden meaning in what it said. She knew that she was reading too much into it.

_'Granger, sorry I was unable to say goodbye. I hope you are feeling better. Sorry things didn't work out. Don't worry about it. - D.M.'_

The fact that he had told her not to 'worry about it' made her worry. As if it implied that she had something to worry about. He hadn't responded to the owl she'd sent him that same day. Or the one she'd sent him yesterday. She had no idea why she was getting so worked up over the fact that he was home. After all, from what she had remembered he'd gone home over the Christmas break and come back in one piece. She didn't know why this time would be different.

It was different because she actually cared about him now.

Perhaps cared about him wasn't exactly the right word. Concerned was better. He was her friend, kind of, and the thought of him being around one of the most dangerous Death Eaters in the country was unsettling. She wasn't sure if the fact that he was Draco's father made it less or more so. After a bit of thought she concluded that it was decidedly worse.

'Because when my father tells me to do something, I do it, no questions asked.'

That's what Draco had said that night they'd gotten stuck in the Trophy Room. Hermione had replayed those words over and over in her head. Of course, he had proved that theory wrong. When Lucius had ordered them both to go to Malfoy Manor for the holiday Draco had rebelled, at least a little bit. Now that she thought about it she felt a little bit of pride.

Hermione wanted to believe that maybe she was having a positive influence on him. He could use a little bit of Gryffindor courage. She looked up as she heard the grandfather clock in the corner chime the hour. She was supposed to go meet her friends in the Gryffindor Common Room and she was looking forward to it.

Despite her concern for Malfoy, the last week had been fairly pleasant. She'd spent the days with her friends and it had been nice to stay in the Gryffindor Common Room for as long as she wanted. It was strange but since moving in with Draco, she'd felt a little bit like an outsider to her own House. It had started to get better lately. She was happy for that.

Hermione grabbed her books, reminded of why she had gone up there to begin with. They were going to finish the last of their homework and she'd already got distracted and spent much too much time thinking when she should have been on her way back to Gryffindor Tower at least ten minutes ago. She looked off into the night one more time hoping to see an eagle owl flying through the darkness but there wasn't one. She'd just have to wait until tomorrow.

A while later, Hermione was sitting in the Gryffindor Common Room watching Harry and Ron play chess. Ginny had gone up to bed awhile ago, as had the handful of Gryffindor that had decided to stay for break. They had all finished their homework, much to Hermione's relief, and now she was simply postponing the walk up to her own room. She supposed that she would be allowed to sleep in the Gryffindor Common Room since Draco wasn't in the castle but at the same time she didn't want to get too attached to being back.

She looked over at Ron and Harry. When she'd been younger, probably in her fourth or fifth year she had sometimes imagined what it would be like to date one of them. It had always ended in disaster in her head but that hadn't stopped the thoughts. Even though she held no romantic feelings for them, when you spent as much time around members of the opposite sex as she did, the thought was bound to creep up.

Hermione's feelings for Harry had always stayed on the platonic side. It was hard to imagine them being anything other than friends. For the most part they got along well, which was of course a good thing, there was just a certain... passion that she knew was missing. Friends they could be forever, lovers however, she was sure would end with boredom on both accounts.

Ron was a different story. She'd gone through phases when she really believed that she had a crush on him and other times when she was convinced that he was only meant to be her friend. She always came up with the same reason to explain why she never pursued him. They were too different. She could handle some of the differences but then there were others that she wasn't sure that she could get over. They wanted such different things from life, had such different interests and passions. She couldn't imagine spending her days talking to him about Quidditch or her love for Arithmancy. It didn't make her love him any less. As far as friends went there were no two better than Harry and Ron. Above all, she never wanted to risk their friendships. They were the trio and she had no intention of being the cause of anything that would change that.

Not that it mattered now anyway. She was engaged, she'd be married soon and she'd have the next three years to sort out what kind of person she wanted to be with. She tried to think of it as a sort of blessing. So many women fell into relationships and marriages too young. She never wanted to be one of those women that had to put a career on hold for a marriage and a family.

Hermione's marriage to Malfoy was a fail-safe against that. She'd have three years to sort out her future and everything that went along with it. Malfoy had made it clear that they weren't going to have children. If Lucius wouldn't allow her to have a job, which she sorely hoped wouldn't be the case, then she could always pick a field and study it. That way when she was released from the confines of her marriage contract she'd be ready for the world.

That's what she kept telling herself.

Really she hoped that this whole situation wouldn't take opportunities away from her. What if she found someone, fell in love? Would she ask them to wait for her? Would they wait for her? Could she resort to having an affair? She didn't know, but those were all things that were running through her head. She supposed that she had no choice but to cross those bridges as they came.

Hermione looked up at the clock. It was time for her to leave and catch some sleep. She hoped tonight would be better than the last few. It had been hard to sleep and again she wondered why there was a dark cloud of uneasiness following her. Something told her that when she talked to Malfoy she would figure it out. When he returned, she was going to make sure that he was really okay.

"I think it's time for me to go to bed," Hermione said as she stood up and began gathering her books and homework.

"Mind if I walk you to your room?" Ron asked in mid chess game. Hermione wondered what he wanted to talk about. Had he sensed her mood? She hoped not. It was hard enough explaining it to herself in her head. Let alone trying to explain it to Ron. She didn't think he would understand anymore than she did.

"Sure," she said, as he got up and joined her as she left the Common Room. They were halfway to the sixth floor before he said anything.

"There's something that I want to talk to you about," Ron said.

"What is it?" Hermione looked at him suspiciously. She could tell that whatever he wanted to talk to her about was of a sensitive matter. His face was nearly as red as his hair and if she wasn't mistaken he was also sweating.

"Well, we all know that you have to marry Malfoy in a few months, right? Supposed to have babies with the bugger too. Which is complete bullocks."

Hermione wondered what he was getting at, of course they all knew that, as hard as she tried to forget about it.

"You're...I think... well... he'd be... you know..." The rest of the sentence was lost in mumbles but she managed to catch the word "first" in there and she suddenly realized what he was talking about.

"It might be easier... well not to say _easier_... but to him, Hermione? Git doesn't deserve that. _You_ don't deserve that. If you don't want to... give him _that_... there are other... me? You're one of my best friends Hermione and I don't want him to hurt you."

Hermione stood there in complete shock. If she had followed what he had said, and she was pretty sure that she had, Ronald Weasley had just offered to take her virginity so that she wouldn't have to give it to Malfoy. She didn't know whether to feel touched or to slap him.

"Ron..."

"It'd be like him _raping_ you Hermione. You don't even like him. How can anyone ask you to go through with that?" Hermione was surprised to see how upset he was getting about the topic and she stepped forward and hugged him. It was the strangest offer that she'd ever received but she was sure that he only wanted to help her. He was right, having sex with Malfoy would be against her will. Which was why she was going to come up with a plan to get out of it. Hopefully it would work better than her last plan.

"Thank you Ron, I appreciate the offer but I'll find some other way out of it." At least that was the plan. Ron gave her a sheepish grin and a nod and then finished walking her to her room. She bid him good night and then she went inside. It was strange not finding Draco sitting at the table in the Common Room, there to greet her.

Oddly enough, she missed him.

* * *

Draco sat in a compartment by himself on the Hogwarts Express as the scenery flew by. He paid it no attention. Couldn't. His mind was too consumed with other things. Things that still made his skin crawl. That made him suppress the almost overwhelming urge to vomit.

Three days.

Three days since he'd become a Death Eater.

He felt the emotions overwhelm him for a minute before he got them under control again. The last three days had been a constant fight against nausea and the urge to obliviate himself. Anything to make the thoughts go away. To erase every single memory. Every single moment. He hadn't slept. Couldn't even stand to close his eyes for more than a second. Each time he saw the same thing.

The moment his soul had died.

He had taken vows. Even now he shuddered to remember them so he blocked them out. He didn't want to think about that night, but it was the only thing that he _could_ think about. He was consumed with the thoughts of it as much as his arm was consumed with the pain of the Dark Mark. Even now he could feel it throbbing through his sleeve.

Draco's vacation had started off normally enough. Once he and his father had reached Malfoy Manor he had been greeted with a large feast prepared by their large staff of house elves. The whole meal had been eaten in absolute silence. His father at one end of the grand table, his mother at the other, with him sitting in the middle. He'd been on edge that whole night.

Waiting for confirmation of what was to come.

Neither his father nor his mother had said a word about it. Draco hoped against hope that it had all been postponed. That his Death Eater initiation ceremony had been put on hold for some indeterminate amount of time. After dinner his mother had taken him into the large study where she had asked him about his studies and nothing else. It had been a short conversation.

Draco had gone up to his room afterwards and forced himself to concentrate on his homework. It had actually kept him occupied late into the night and he relished the fact that his mind was thinking about something other than what might, or might not, happen. He'd even made himself write Granger a note, apologizing for the lack of good bye. Finally, when he couldn't keep his eyes open for a moment longer he'd slept.

Draco had happily woken up the next morning to find himself in one peace. That day went much the same way as the first. They'd all had breakfast together, he then went back up to his room. Then lunch together, at which point he'd gone outside and flown his broom for awhile before aimlessly wandering the grounds, wishing he was at Hogwarts. When he'd gone back inside he'd found an owl waiting at his window with a response from her.

Granger had asked him to keep in touch and had told him that she did indeed feel better and hoped that he was feeling better as well. He had debated upon writing her back before he had decided that it was pointless. If his father found out that he was communicating with her everyday he wasn't sure it would be viewed as a good thing. After all, as far as his father knew they both despised each other.

That day passed as uneventful as the first. He'd been at Malfoy Manor for a week and he was glad that the break was halfway over. Only five more days after that one and then he'd be free and on his way back to Hogwarts. It was two nights later when his father had come for him.

Draco had finally fallen asleep a little after midnight. A few hours later he'd found himself being yanked out of his bed by his father who stuffed a pile of dark clothing in his hands. Draco convinced himself that he was just having a nightmare as he donned the dark robes. Looking down he realized that he was holding a mask. A Death Eater mask.

"Put it on," his father growled.

Draco hesitated. He didn't want to. He _really_ didn't want to. He felt paralyzed by fear as he frantically tried to convince himself that this wasn't really happening. It couldn't be happening. His father grabbed the hood and forced it over his head. Draco felt like he was suffocating. He wanted fresh air, he wanted to breathe, he wanted to be riding across the Quidditch Pitch, on his broom, in the middle of the night. Not here, not in this living nightmare.

Lucius grabbed Draco's arm and dragged him through the ornately decorated corridors of Malfoy Manor. Before Draco knew what was happening they were in the cellar and the wall was opening up to reveal a secret passageway. With each step his heart pounded more frantically then it had with the step before. He felt like he was being led to his execution.

They stopped in front of a large wooden door and Draco watched as his father put his own mask on. "Do what he tells you to do. Say what he tells you to say and you'll leave the chamber alive."

Draco nodded. Not sure that he wanted to leave the chamber alive.

They walked inside and Draco could see that the room was full of other figures garbed exactly as he was. He thought his heart was going to burst in that moment. All of his fears, years of anxiety and worry were all culminating into this moment. His worst fears were coming true and there was nothing that he could do to change it. He wanted so badly to change it.

He made himself breathe. Deep even breaths that he was sure that everyone could hear. The pounding of his heart sounded like drums to his ears. He was sure that everyone could hear his terror if not see it. His blood turned icy cold as his eyes landed on the figure that was sitting in the middle of the room on what looked to be a throne of sorts. It was an ornate chair covered in carvings of skulls with snakes crawling out of the mouths and eye sockets. Draco made himself concentrate on the detail and not the person sitting there.

Not person.

Thing.

Draco wondered how many seconds he would survive if he turned around and walked back towards the door. If he went back up to his room, got into bed, and pretended that none of this had ever happened. He didn't think he'd last very long. He was reminded of that night in the Trophy Room when Granger had asked him why he had accepted the marriage contract. He had told her because his father had told him to. Now was no exception but he wondered if that was the only reason. Could his father really have such complete control over him?

Obviously the answer to that was yes.

Draco could feel his mind going numb. He wasn't sure if it was from shock or acceptance. Either way the fear started to subside to near manageable levels. He no longer felt like he was going to die. Random thoughts were skittering through his head as he looked for some thought to distract him. Something to concentrate on that didn't exist in this room. One thought, over the hundreds that raced through his head, stood out.

Hair tickling his nose.

Draco remembered that morning a few weeks ago when he'd woken up in her bed. How her hair had felt against his skin, the way that it had smelled, the comforting feeling of having someone close to him. The warmth of the blanket draped over him. It had been such a strange, yet oddly wonderful, feeling to wake up next to someone like that. It had been the first time in his life that he hadn't felt lonely.

"Come forward."

Draco realized that it was him that the Dark lord was talking to. That voice, that horrible voice, made his skin crawl as if there were a hundred spiders crawling all over him. He stepped forward. He didn't know if magic made him move or he'd somehow managed it by himself. He just knew that he was standing directly in front of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.

He was terrified.

"Do you vow to keep our wizarding blood pure and eliminate those known as Muggleborns from existence by whatever means necessary?"

Whatever means necessary. His mind ran through all of the implications. Granger was a muggleborn, did he have it in him to kill her? No. Did he have it in him to defy Lord Voldemort? No.

"Yes." Draco felt as if the words were torn out of him.

"Do you vow to seek the restoration of pure-blood rule over the Wizarding community?"

"Yes." Again he didn't know if he was speaking out of self preservation or if he was being made to. He just wanted to get this over with. If he agreed then they would let him live and he could pretend that it never happened. That he wasn't betraying himself by standing there and being the person that his father had always wanted him to be.

"Do you vow to do everything in your power to see that one day all of those known as Muggles shall be slaves to those of pure-blood lineage."

"Yes."

"Do you accept me, Voldemort, as your leader? Your ruler? Your Master?"

"Yes."

"Hold out your arm." Draco did so and he watched in fascinated horror as his father pushed up his sleeve, revealing the pale, white, skin underneath. He couldn't bear to look so he closed his eyes, hoping that the mask and the darkness of the room prevented anyone seeing the weakness.

Again, he took himself back to that moment in Hermione's bed.

There was pain.

The train whistle cut through his thoughts and Draco realized that the Hogwart's Express had stopped at Hogsmeade and everyone was making their way off the train. He wiped the sweat from his forehead and then made his way off the train. He had never dreaded going back to Hogwarts more than he did in that moment. Never dreaded seeing anyone as much as he dreaded seeing her.

* * *

**Read and review and be the lovely inspirations that you all are to me! This coming week I'll be going on vacation so I don't know if I'll have time to write, or post, this story, blame my mother, she's kidnapping me and making me visit her. If I don't update I guarantee that there will be definitely be an update on the 18th. Have a wonderful 4th of July weekend and don't forget to read (and review, pretty, pretty, please) my other stories if you find yourself being bored with nothing better to do!**


	18. The Deception

Hermione stood in front of the castle as she waited for the carriages to make their way back to Hogwarts. A few minutes ago she'd heard the sharp whistle of the train pierce the silence of the cool spring day. She could only imagine that soon Draco would be on his way back. She'd managed to make her friends stay up in the Common Room and not accompany her. She wanted to talk to Draco by herself without an audience. Maybe then she'd get an answer. She knew what her question would be.

She'd tried very hard to block the thought out of her mind and when that hadn't worked she'd tried to convince herself that he had better sense than that. That he was stronger and smarter than she wanted to give him credit for. The fact remained that she had the worry that perhaps his father had pressured him into something. She had a very good idea of what that something might be.

Hermione Granger was _not _going to marry a Death Eater.

Hopefully it wouldn't come to her making a choice between marrying a Death Eater and getting her memories erased. She didn't want to go against the Ministry and be banished from her life. She honestly didn't know, if faced with a choice, what she would do. Last night a small plan had formed in her head. All she had to do was concentrate on graduating and passing her NEWTS. Once that was done if she had to, she'd run. What was the Ministry going to do? Track her down like a fugitive? She didn't think so. There were people that would protect her. Dumbledore, the Weasleys, Lupin, countless other members of the Order. The only problem she had, was what kind of life was that?

Was the possibility of spending a life of running worth avoiding three years with him? A little voice in her head told her that regardless of whether or not he was a Death Eater she should go through with it. After a lot of thought she decided that it would be easier to just marry him than to spend what could be months, or years even, on the run. She'd only run if she had to.

However, that all hinged on him not being a Death Eater.

Hermione wasn't stupid. She knew that at some point Lucius would try to convince him to pick a side and make a commitment. Hopefully, that day was in the far off future. It made no sense for him to force Draco to become a Death Eater now. He was still in school, he was right under Dumbledore's nose, right under _her_ nose, but there was still that voice in her head that was telling her not to rule anything out. It was possible and she had to be open to that possibility. She wanted to trust him but at this point she just couldn't. She had to know.

Hermione pushed her bushy hair behind her ears and shivered in the cool wind. She just wanted him back already so she could get this over with. It was the last thing she wanted to deal with but she knew that if she didn't it was going to keep bothering her so it was best to get it done and over with. Regardless of what his answer was she didn't foresee this being a good day. Either she was wrong and he was going to be angry for her accusations or she was right. She wasn't quite sure how things were going to go if she was right.

It would be dangerous for her to stay near him if he had the Dark Mark. What if Voldemort ordered him to do something to her? What if he was spying on her? All of these thoughts ran through her head and she didn't know what to do about them. If it turned out that he was a Death Eater then she could always go to Dumbledore and tell him. Then what? What if Draco got kicked out of school? What would that mean for her? Would they make her leave with him? She wanted her education more than anything else but she wasn't sure if she could risk her own safety to protect him. She would find out an answer soon enough.

Hermione saw the first carriage coming up the hill towards the open gates and patiently she waited. Several minutes later more than half of the carriages had been unloaded of students, and their luggage, and still she didn't see him. She felt knots in her stomach as she wondered where he was. Finally, she saw him getting out of one of the last carriages, a trunk charmed to float beside him. Even from that distance she could see that something was wrong with him. She pulled her cloak closer around her and then slowly walked towards him.

The look in his eyes spoke volumes.

Hermione just wasn't sure what they was saying. He didn't look happy to see her, that much was apparent. It looked like he was almost glaring at her. She didn't like it at all. What was even worse than that, was the fact that before she could say anything he walked right past her, as if she wasn't even there. Why were they suddenly no longer on speaking terms? Hermione silently followed him, deciding that it was better that they talk somewhere more private and not in front of the entire school.

The walk up to the 6th floor seemed to take longer than usual. Hermione had caught up with him so that they were now walking side by side. She took that opportunity to study him. He looked absolutely exhausted, like he hadn't slept in days. He had dark circles under his eyes and his eyelids looked heavy, as if the only thing keeping him awake was sheer willpower. He also looked much more pale than he usually did and she found herself growing more concerned for him. She just wanted him to say_ something_.

Finally they reached the door and Hermione watched as he touched the pattern of stars, their way of having a password, and the door swung open and he made his way inside. Again she followed him into their Common Room, only to have him slam the door to his bedroom in her face once he reached his room. She looked at the solid wood door and tried not to let her anger and annoyance get the best of her. Really, no matter what had happened he had no right to treat her this way. She hadn't done anything to him. She wanted him to talk to her. It was important.

Hermione tried the handle to the door and was pleased to find that he at least hadn't locked it. She slowly opened the door and then made her way inside. He was already laying on his bed, his suitcase tossed to the side. He had his arms crossed behind his head and he was staring up at the ceiling absently. Well, this definitely wasn't good. Deciding that he wouldn't risk cursing her, at least with any dangerous ones, she walked forward and took a seat at the end of his bed. Part of her wanted to be frank and just ask him but she was wise enough to know that most certainly was not going to get any positive results.

"How was your holiday?" she asked, trying not to sound as timid as she felt.

"I went home, not exactly how I wanted to spend it," he said simply. He was looking up at the ceiling with his jaw clenched and a haunted look in his eyes. If she didn't know better, and she wasn't sure that she did, it looked like he was trying not to cry.

"What happened?" Hermione asked. She didn't want him to feel like she was being nosey but it was obvious that something was up and she needed to know what it was. Fore more reasons than one. There was the initial urge to know the truth, but there was also the side of her that had softened towards him lately and genuinely was worried about him.

"Nothing."

"Do you expect me to believe that?" She challenged. She was beginning to see that trying to be nice and civil was not going to get her anywhere.

"Do you really have any other choice?" he asked snidely.

"Let me see your arms."

There it was.

Hermione couldn't believe that she'd thrown it out there like that but now that she had said it she couldn't take it back. Honestly, she was afraid of what his reaction was going to be. She was expecting hateful, she was expecting anger. Instead he sat up on the bed and looked at her. His eyes locked with hers and she could feel the intensity emanating off of him. He pulled up the sleeve of his right arm and Hermione noted in relief that there was nothing but pale, white, skin. His eyes never left hers as he extended his left arm and did the same thing.

There was nothing.

Hermione breathed an audible sigh of relief. The dread that she had been carrying around with her finally dissipated and she felt the heaviness lift from her chest. She wanted to hug him. All of this time she had spent worrying that he was going to make the wrong decision, that he wasn't going to be true to who he was and what he wanted had been for nothing. She had been wrong. For once in her life it felt good to be wrong.

Hermione looked up at him hoping not to see anger in his eyes. He was looking at her with the most unreadable look on his face and that unnerved her more than anger would have. She didn't want him to hate her. Now that she had proof that Malfoy wasn't who she thought he was she really felt like for the first time, she could trust him.

It was fragile. It was tentative. But it was trust none the less.

* * *

_"Make her fall in love with you."_

As Draco looked at her from across the bed those were the words that echoed through his head. The last words his father had said to him in that chamber full of Death Eaters. The pain of getting branded with the mark had still been fresh in his head.

_"Make her fall in love with you."_

Draco was secretly relieved that Voldemort hadn't given him the full Death Mark. There was one final ceremony that would finish his initiation to becoming a Death Eater. He wasn't looking forward to it at all but by his reasoning the worst was over. He was a Death Eater now, there was really nothing he could do about that. The second ceremony was still a few months away, if he did what he was supposed to do, proved himself, then there would no longer be any question to who his allegiances were to. He was going to have to trick her and betray her, or he was going to die. It wasn't a hard choice to make. It was either him or her. What choice was there?

It was easy to tell himself that he wasn't doing anything wrong. After all, what was the harm in making her fall in love with him? That wasn't really the part that he was worried about. He knew that at the end of the school year, after they were married, something was going to happen to her. It wasn't going to be good. Still, the part that he had to play was small and he was determined to do it with minimal guilt. After all, how many times had he wooed the female population of Hogwarts into his bed? This was going to be no different. Bed, heart, what did it matter?

Hermione was looking at him as if she expected some sort of dismissal and he wanted nothing more than to give her one. Make her run far away from him, from his plans and his intentions which weren't going to bring either one of them anything but pain. He just couldn't do that. He wanted to protect her and protect himself but it was too late for that.

"Are you happy now?" he asked as he tried his hardest to resist the urge to touch his left forearm. It ached, even now, with the memory of what had happened in that chamber. While he might not be able to see the Dark Mark he could feel it there, burning, just under the skin, waiting to rise to the surface. He wondered if she would have touched it if she could have felt it, his arm still felt like it was on fire.

"I'm sorry but I had to know. I want to trust you, I almost thought that I had gotten to the point where I could, but I have had the most dreadful feeling for the last two weeks and I just didn't know how to explain it. I was worried about you and I was afraid that if something did happen you wouldn't feel like you could come to me. This was the only way that I could be sure that things were okay. I didn't want to, but you have no idea how relieved I am to see nothing on your arm. I'm really quite proud of you."

Draco felt as if a ton of bricks had slammed into his stomach. She was _proud_ of him? For being the coward that he was. For lying to her and deceiving her and being everything that he had never wanted to be. He was quiet for a moment trying to force the words past his lips.

"Thanks." That was all that he could manage to say. Draco was surprised that he could sit there, looking her in the eyes, and lie to her. Making her think that he was some sort of person that he wasn't. Someone like Potter or Weasley who always knew what the right thing to do was and then did it without hesitation. His life wasn't like that. _He_ wasn't like that.

"I'm sorry that the plan to stay here didn't work. How was your vacation? Did your father... well... did he say anything about us?"

Draco debated upon lying but he decided that some version of the truth was going to work better than any lies that he could come up with. She had to trust him, that was crucial. Generally he didn't care about trust and winning hers over completely was going to be a new experience, he hoped that he was up for it. He was good at getting women to want him, he wasn't so good about getting them to love him.

"He said that one of the reasons he arranged this whole marriage thing was so that your friends would be distracted by their concern for you. He also wanted to know if you fancied Potter or Weasley more but I told him that I didn't know. Not much more was said," Draco said as he leaned against the headboard of his bed and stretched his legs out.

"Why would he want to know that?" Hermione asked. Draco noticed that she moved a little bit closer, as if she expected him to have some secret to tell.

"I honestly don't know. I can't say much else was discussed, at least not about that."

"What did you talk about then?"

"The usual, how much of a failure I am. How I'm never going to live up to anyone's expectations. How I taint the Malfoy name. All things I'm used to hearing," he stated bitterly. It was true. Verbal abuse was a constant at Malfoy Manor and no matter what Draco did it was rare that his father was happy with him. Did he want Hermione to pity him? No. But at this point it would work in his advantage. If she felt sorry for him, wanted to protect him, then maybe he could find someway to exploit her feelings.

Regardless of the fact that he didn't want to.

He really didn't want to.

"I'm sorry, I should have went with you. Maybe things would have been better."

"I doubt it. It's not a big deal. I'm used to it."

"You shouldn't have to get used to it. Your father has no right to treat you like he does. I can't believe someone would treat their own child like that. You are better than that."

Everything that she was saying was digging into his skin. He wanted so badly to reveal himself the liar but anytime the notion even entered his brain the fear chased it away. He had been told to make her love him, this was something he had to do to prove himself. Telling her everything would only make her leave him. It was strange that just a few months ago he would've given anything to have her leave him and now that was one of the major things he was afraid of. He had to admit that it felt good not being alone, to know that someone was there should he need it. Even though he was loathe to admit that he needed her.

"I really don't have a choice Granger. I'm sure that I don't have to explain to you my father's... connections. Do you really think that it's wise that I do anything to anger him?"

Hermione considered the question for a moment before shaking her head. Draco looked over at her and felt a little bit of fondness wiggle its way into his heart. Here she was, sitting in his bed, making sure that he was okay. He was sure that her motives were not purely unselfish but the thought was still there. He appreciated it. Draco took a deep breath, preparing for what he was going to say next.

"I missed you Granger." He threw the words out there before there was a chance that he could take them back. She looked up at him and then a slow smile blossomed across her face. It hurt him to see it.

"I missed you too," she said after a few moments. There was an awkward silence and then she jumped into a full account of what she had done over her vacation, none of it which really interested him, yet at the same time he found himself listening intently. Finally she had finished talking and again silence filled the room. He felt the need to break it.

"Thanks for worrying about me while I was gone. It means a lot." Strangely Draco wanted to ask her to stay the night with him, he just wanted to sleep and having her there would help. He knew that it would've been foolish and awkward for him to do so thus he resisted the urge. The last thing he needed was for her to see him wake up screaming. There were just so many emotions that he was bottling up inside that he was almost afraid to be alone. The stress from the past few days mixed with the genuine relief that he felt about being back at Hogwarts was making his insides hurt.

He didn't want to be alone, but really that was all he knew.

"That's sort of what friends are for you know. I think I'm going to go down to the Great Hall for dinner, would you like to join me?" she asked as she got off of his bed and stood up.

Draco shook his head, telling himself that he needed just a little bit of time away from her, and everyone else. He watched as she walked out of his room and closed the door behind her. It was silent. He sat there for a long time trying his hardest to block out his thoughts. There were so many of them. He had to admit that, while he thought the emotions of fear and anger would be at the forefront of what he was thinking, they were not. Shame and guilt were the majority of what he was feeling.

That was not something that he was used to.

Awhile later, Draco heard the door to the Common Room open and close. He figured that Hermione must be back from the Great Hall. He waited for the sound of her opening the door to her room but it never came. He wondered if she was sitting in their Common Room. Sleep certainly wasn't coming quickly so he got up and decided to see what she was doing.

Really he just wanted to figure out if there was someway to make some of the guilt go away.

* * *

**I'd like to thank everyone who wished me a good vacation, I had fun with my two nieces and it was nice to have a break from work. I hope you enjoyed this latest chapter, as always there will be more to come next week. Please read and review. I'm so excited because we're so close to 200 reviews. How completely frickin' awesome is that? Have a great weekend and happy reading!**


	19. The Chance To Sleep

Hermione sat in the Common Room a book in one hand and a mug of tea in the other. Honestly she wasn't paying attention to either the book or the tea. At the moment her attention was on the dancing flames in the fireplace. Dinner had been interesting. Her friends had interrogated her about Draco and once she had admitted to them that she had asked him if she could see his arms and both of them were bare then they had settled down a little bit. She felt almost guilty for admitting it to them as if it just reinforced the fact that none of them could trust him.

As Harry had pointed out, just because he didn't bear the mark didn't mean that he was any better than a Death Eater. Hermione would have agreed but for one very important fact. He _was _better than a Death Eater. She knew it. The way that he treated her proved it. This whole time that they had been "engaged" he had never purposefully harmed her. Yes, they'd had arguments but it wasn't nearly as dreadful as it could be and she had him to thank for it.

Ron had tried to convince her that there were ulterior motives for the way he behaved and Hermione agreed that there probably were, however not nearly as sinister as what Ron was suggesting. Was it so horrible to think that maybe he didn't want to live the next three years of his life in misery? That he wanted to at least be friends with her? It wasn't out of the realm of possibility. Even after all of the things that he had done she was willing to do that much.

At _least_ that much.

Hermione smiled to herself for even entertaining thoughts of something more. She had developed a soft spot for Draco that she didn't know she was capable of. As each day passed it was as if she gained a new understanding of him and she was starting to realize that he wasn't all bad. He had been emotionally abused as a child so that's what he did in return. It was what he knew how to do so he perpetuated that. It wasn't really anything to hate him for.

Just as Hermione decided that she ought to do more reading and less thinking, she heard the door to his room open. She looked up to see him standing in the door way. He looked hesitant before he walked over and sat on the sofa beside her. She was momentarily surprised that he actually sat beside her and not in one of the two arm chairs on either side of the sofa. She wanted to tell him that he should go find something to eat. He looked like he needed food and sleep, neither of which he was getting at the moment.

"Shouldn't you be trying to get a little bit of sleep?" she asked as she closed her book and sat it on her lap. She wondered if there was something about what had happened over Spring Break that he was hiding. She could almost sense that he was keeping something from her. She tried to tell herself that it wasn't important because he would tell her if it was. Part of her said that she should trust him and the other part told her that something wasn't right. Then again this was Malfoy, if something had happened it would be hard for him to talk about it. He wasn't used to having someone to really talk to. She'd be patient, she'd show him that he could trust her.

"I've been having trouble falling asleep lately," he said and she could hear the exhaustion in his voice. She didn't know how to help him. Even though they had been getting along, at least they had been before he left, there was still very little that she really knew about him. She did know that he liked to wake up late on school days and sleep in even later on the weekends. She knew that he always felt the need to walk from the bathroom to his room after a shower in nothing but a towel. That he was actually attempting to do homework and make good grades. The first thing he did the moment he walked into their Common Room was take off his shoes. He liked to drink pumpkin juice while he studied and she was fairly certain that his favorite food was mashed potatoes. How to comfort him, however, was something she didn't know.

She wasn't even sure it was possible.

Hermione looked over at her bedroom door, guiltily wishing that she could escape this conversation. She felt helpless and uncomfortable and she didn't like either feeling. If there was one thing that got under her skin it was being unable to fix a problem. Malfoy was such a complex problem and she wanted nothing more than to be able to "fix" him, however she knew that she didn't have that power.

"Why have you been having trouble falling asleep?" She almost wanted to suggest that he go see Madame Pomfrey for a sleeping draught because he really looked like he needed it. She knew that wasn't the solution, only a temporary way to solve whatever was bothering him so she kept quiet. Maybe what he really needed was to talk. She honestly wanted to listen to him.

"Maybe it's because I have to put up with you."

Hermione looked at him and had to keep her eyes from narrowing in a glare.

"I was kidding," he said and the corner of his mouth twitched up into what could almost be called a smile. Hermione felt some of her annoyance fade away. At least he still had his sense of humor, that was something. His annoying, antagonistic, sense of humor that she actually had missed the last few weeks. If anyone else talked to her the way that he did most of the time she'd aim a well deserved curse their way. From Draco she had come to see it as a slight sign of affection.

"Sometimes I wish my father was dead."

Hermione looked over at him, confused by the change in conversation. He looked serious and Hermione was quiet, waiting for him to go on. She wasn't sure that she wanted to ask why, but at the same time she wanted to know the answer. Before she'd actually started to really talk to him she had always assumed that Draco worshipped his father. That they had some way of showing love and affection towards one another that was just different than her family. She couldn't imagine not hearing her Mother and Father tell her how much they loved her. The way that they'd always tucked her into bed at night as a child and read stories to her.

It had always just made sense to her that the Malfoys had those kind of inner workings as well. The more she really got to know Draco the more she wondered if maybe he had grown up in an emotionally barren household. That thought made her very unhappy. Surely there had been some sort of... just something to let him know that he was loved by someone.

"For as long as I can remember I've hated him but also admired him. I use to dream about him dying and then I'd feel so guilty about it that I'd do everything that I could to try to make him happy, to show him that I was a good son. I never understood why I wanted him to think that of me. He never did though. No matter what, I was never good enough for him. Still, I kept trying. Even to this day I don't know why and I still keep trying."

Hermione couldn't stop herself from awkwardly touching his arm. She didn't know what to say. She could understand the premise of his relationship with his father because she wanted to make her parents proud as well. Sometimes she worried that being a Witch had disappointed them. She was always going to be something that they couldn't fully understand and that bothered her. Still, she knew that they were proud of her, even if they had really wanted her to grow up to be a dentist.

"I think your father is one of those people who is never going to realize what they have. Nothing is going to be good enough and just because you can't live up to some impossible standard is no reflection on you. It's a reflection of him. You're your own person and ultimately you don't have to care what he thinks."

"Don't I?" Draco asked and Hermione could sense some kind of tormented struggle within him.

"No, you don't. Your father only has the control over you that you let him have. All you have to do is stand up for yourself. You've spent all of this time trying to please him and make him proud, well start doing that for yourself. It would probably be a lot easier." Hermione didn't know if he would take her advice but she wanted him to and not for entirely unselfish reasons. Her life would be so much easier if she could just get him out of the shadow of his father.

"I wish it were that easy," he said wearily.

Hermione looked over him and wished that he'd been born into a family that could have actually given him the emotional support that he needed. An idea was forming in her head but she was a little bit weary of it. She was ready to go to bed and he was obviously more than ready to sleep. She didn't, however, want to leave him in here all alone to stay awake and worry over things that were not his fault. Maybe he just needed to feel comfortable. Like someone really cared about him.

She was really starting to care.

* * *

Draco was exhausted. He wanted nothing more than to go to sleep but as each minute passed that seemed more and more unlikely. Here he was, talking to Hermione about his feelings for his father, and not knowing his motives behind it. Was he telling her these things because he really needed to talk about them or because it worked in his favor? He had no idea and that unnerved him. His stomach was upset and he didn't know what was the cause, lack of sleep and food, or the tremendous amount of guilt he was feeling?

Hermione had told him that if he didn't want his father to have control of him then it was in his power to stop it. It wasn't just about that anymore, but he couldn't bring himself to tell her that. It now involved Voldemort and Draco was not stupid enough to think that if he didn't want He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named to have control over him then he wouldn't. It wasn't that simple. It was never that simple.

"Would you like... I mean would you mind... my room is a bit more comfortable. Completely in a platonic way of course, but if it would help you sleep... it sometimes helps not to be alone... sometimes," she finished in a long rush of words. Draco couldn't believe that she was actually offering to allow him to sleep in her room. It was probably one of the nicest things that anyone had ever offered him.

He was battling with himself on what to say. He could say no, and that would be counter productive to what he was supposed to be doing for his father and for Voldemort, or he could do what he was supposed to do and he could go with her. What was lost in all of that was what he really wanted to do. He wasn't sure he knew the answer.

Yes he did. He didn't want to be alone.

"That might help," he said pushing the words out of his mouth. She gave him a little smile and then she got up, extinguishing the light in the fireplace and then made her way over to her bedroom. He silently followed her. Honestly he was hoping that he would be able to sleep better in her presence, a dreamless sleep. There was something about her that he found comforting. Even when he was so internally conflicted about her.

Hermione's room was neat and orderly, just as he remembered. It also smelled flowery and he was surprised to realize that he liked it because it reminded him of her. She climbed onto the bed and under the blankets fully clothed so he followed suit. While sleeping clothed was not the most comfortable thing in the world it was nice not to be sleeping alone. He thought back to the last time he had fallen asleep with her and the peace that had followed. He didn't think that would come this time.

It was strange but he almost missed Pansy. She would generally wear him out so that he fell into a deep sleep. He wasn't sure that even she could help at the moment. That, and he didn't know if he would even be able to touch her without feeling even more guilty. If Hermione were to find out well...

What would she care anyway? He had permission, she expected nothing better of him.

Both of them were laying on their backs, almost a foot of space in between them. The lights went out and he laid there, listening to the both of them breathing. It was strange but they seemed to sync up so that he couldn't tell the sound of her breathing from his. He tried to let all of the stress and tension fade out of his body but it was harder than he anticipated. After awhile he felt himself begin to relax and he actually wondered if it was her presence or just the utter exhaustion from the events of the last several days.

"Do you think that this is going to work?" he heard her ask in the darkness.

"What?" he asked sleepily, nearly on the verge of sleep.

"Us."

"I want us to," he said as his eyes closed as he felt himself drifting off.

"Me too."

Draco's last thought as he fell asleep was that the smell of her was one of the most comforting things in the world to him. He was too tired to think about how strange that was.

Draco had been asleep for awhile and then the dreams came.

It was quiet in the room. He couldn't hear anything and he thought he had gone deaf because the silence was so absolute. He was surrounded by figures, he realized he was one of the figures, all black robes and metal masks. He was one of them. He couldn't tell where he began and the others ended. He couldn't tell who he was.

There were two figures that he recognized and two figures only. His father and Lord Voldemort. They were standing in the middle of the room, looking at something. He couldn't see what. He didn't want to know what it was. All he could see was a trail of red beginning to seep from the source. That was all he needed to know. All he wanted to know. He tried to turn his head, to concentrate on something else but his eyes stayed glued to the river of red that was coming right at him.

It continued to flow toward him and he tried to back away only to find that he was against a wall and there was no where to go. Finally it was at his feet and he looked down only to see his pale white hands covered in dark blood. He looked up, feeling the warm stickiness of the blood oozing down his arms. He could see the source of it now. See her body lying there in the middle of the room.

It was Hermione Granger.

* * *

**Thanks for reading and reviewing! Have a happy weekend!**


	20. The Kiss

Draco sat straight up in the bed feeling like he was drowning in blood. Panic washed over him and he fought to keep it down as he told himself it was only a dream. Just a horrible, horrible, dream. He didn't even realize he had stopped breathing until he drew in a loud, shuttering, breath. He heard something beside him but he made himself concentrate on just breathing. He needed to calm down and breathe.

Once he had gotten himself under control he looked over to see Hermione sitting beside him. He realized that one of her hands was resting on his back and the other one was holding his hand. He didn't know how that had happened. The light from the moon outside just barely illuminated her face and he could see that she was worried. He didn't want her to be. The nightmare came back to him in startling clarity. It had seemed so real. If he concentrated hard enough he could almost remember the scent of her blood, the feel of it on his skin. He shook those thoughts away.

"Are you okay?" she asked, and he was surprised to hear that her voice was trembling. Draco had to take another breath before he could even attempt to talk. He felt like someone had choked him in his sleep.

"I'm fine," he said and was embarrassed to realize that her voice wasn't the only one that was shaking. He hated that he was showing his weakness to her. He didn't want her to ask questions. He didn't want to explain himself. He just wanted to go back to sleep and have no dreams and forget that this had ever happened. He knew that it wouldn't be that easy. The vision of her laying there was going to haunt him for a long time to come.

Draco looked over at her again just to make sure that she was okay, that she was in one piece. Her face looked paler than usual but that was probably just the light and the fact that he had woken her up in the middle of the night. He wanted to apologize for it but he didn't want to hear his voice shake.

"What happened?" she asked as she let go of his hand, but kept her other one resting on his back. He was both thankful and resentful of the comfort. Didn't she realize that he didn't deserve it? That he was lying to her and deceiving her? That he deserved this?

"It was just a dream," he explained, glad to hear that his voice sounded normal to his ears again. He wanted Hermione to drop it. He didn't want to think about what had happened... what could happen.

"What was your dream about?" she asked relentlessly.

"Nothing. I don't remember." Draco just wanted to lay back down. Fall into oblivion. Sleep just a little bit. He didn't know what time it was but he didn't feel like he had been asleep for very long. That wasn't surprising seeing as how he hadn't really slept in three or four days. Every time his eyes closed he had nightmares. They weren't exactly nightmares, just flashbacks of that chamber, of the vows that he had taken, that even now echoed in his head.

"You have to remember what it was. You can trust me enough to tell me," she said comfortingly. Draco just wanted her to be quiet. Before he could even fully analyze his actions he turned towards her and planted a kiss on her lips. She was completely still, like a statue, unmoving. He attempted it again, one hand reaching up to cradle her face while his lips moved against hers.

"What are you doing?" she asked breathlessly against his lips.

"Kissing you," he replied as he again pressed his lips to her unyielding ones. He just wanted her to stop talking, he wanted to forget what he head dreamt. He wanted to feel something other than badness. The feeling of her lips momentarily distracted him. He needed a distraction. She was the perfect distraction. As long as he concentrated on kissing her there were no lies, no Death Eaters, no dreams, just her lips, her gorgeous lips.

Her lips finally yielded to his. It was hesitant at first and for a moment he wondered what he was doing. Before he had time to realize that this was wrong he reached up with his other hand and touched her face. Her cheeks were warm and soft and he enjoyed touching them. In the wake of the warmth and the feel of her he was beginning to forget...

The kissing grew more passionate and for once in the past few days the desire to sleep flew from him and was replaced with desire for her. He ran his hand down her face, to her neck, and then down her back. She felt so wonderful and he didn't want to stop. His hand moved lower, playing at the edges of her shirt. At this point she had both of her arms wrapped around his neck. She was so deliciously close.

Draco's hand slipped under her shirt, inching his way up, when suddenly she pulled away from him, literally moving across the bed.

"What are we doing? We can't be doing this. I need you to leave, right now." Draco looked at her and the realization of what had just happened hit him full force. He couldn't believe that he had pretty much just tried to sleep with her. He wasted no time getting up and, stumbling through the near darkness of the room, he finally found her door and let himself out, closing it behind him.

Draco managed to make it to his room and his bed and he collapsed on it, throwing his arm over his face to block out even the meager light of the moon coming through his window. He had just kissed Hermione Granger and he had no real reason why he'd done it. With a groan he rolled over and buried his head in his pillow. He had a great talent for complicating things didn't he?

She was probably going to hate him. Think he had tried to take advantage of her or something. Truthfully, he didn't know what he had been doing. Maybe she would be right. He just didn't know anymore. Perhaps she would hate him. It would be easier that way. If she hated him, really hated him, then he'd fail his father but not fail her. He wouldn't be the liar anymore. He felt sleep beginning to take him and he fought against the encroaching darkness. He didn't want to sleep. He didn't want to wake up from another nightmare. This time he'd be alone in the darkness.

Draco sighed and then yawned. He couldn't do this anymore. He hadn't even been back a day and already he was mucking things up. He had to chose a side. Hermione or his father. Himself or Voldemort. It was as easy as that. He had to commit to a decision once and for all. No going back and forth. No regrets. No guilt. He had to make a choice.

Make a choice or go insane.

Draco knew what he had to do. With that thought in mind he drifted off to sleep.

* * *

Hermione laid in bed, awake, long after Draco had left. She was still trying to process and make sense of what had happened and no matter how hard she tried she wasn't coming up with any comforting answers. He had kissed her, she didn't know why, but he had. The more troubling part of that equation was that she had kissed him back.

It had all began when he'd woken her up, nearly scaring her half to death in the process by jerking straight up while flailing and making strangled noises. She hadn't been able to make out anything that he was saying but it had been obvious that he'd been having a nightmare. After a few seconds he had snapped out of it, out of breath and frightened. For a moment she had been afraid that he was going to have a panic attack. She'd been able to feel the fear radiating off of him. She'd tried to get him to talk to her and then the next thing she knew he had pressed his lips to hers.

At first she had thought that he was making some sort of mistake by kissing her. That he had just moved the wrong way and accidentally fallen there. She'd been petrified. It had been years since she'd actually kissed anyone and the pure randomness of Draco's act had frozen her in place. More kisses had followed and when she'd finally found enough of her voice to ask him what he was doing he had freely admitted that he was indeed kissing her.

As if that wasn't insane enough she had allowed herself to kiss him in return. It had been an impulsive action, her body thinking before her mind and then her mind deciding that it definitely made her body feel good. She didn't recall kissing feeling like that. It had made her feel warm from head to toe, it had made her insides tingle. Just thinking about it made her giddy in the most horrible way. If she had taken just a moment to think about what she was doing before she did it things would be a lot less confusing right now.

Hermione still had no idea what Draco's motives could've been. Had he been asleep? He'd seemed coherent enough, and the way he had touched her was not exactly the way a sleeping person would. She could still feel the lingering heat of his hand on her side. Hermione knew that her face must be red. Things had just gotten out of control and she'd had to end them before they went any further. Draco was attractive, but that was no reason to lose her mind… or anything else for that matter.

Hermione blocked the kiss out of her mind and concentrated on his nightmare. If only she had been able to hear what he was mumbling, then it wouldn't have mattered if he lied or not. Something was going on with him, something serious, and while she wanted to believe that she could trust him she knew deep down that she couldn't. With a sigh she rolled over on her side and looked out the window. Maybe he just needed to sleep and then he would be himself.

After awhile, when thinking didn't get her anywhere, she fell into a fitful sleep.

Several hours later Hermione woke up and laid in bed for a few minutes. She almost missed Malfoy's presence but she told herself that it was for the best that she never let him into her bed again. There were just some mistakes that she was not going to make and being... physical with someone, even if he was her fiancé, was not going to be one of those mistakes. She was not ready.

Looking over at the clock Hermione realized that Ron and Harry were supposed to come get her for breakfast soon and she still had to shower and change clothes. She got out of bed, got clothes, and then headed into the Common Room. It was empty but Draco's bedroom door was closed so Hermione hoped that he was in there and had managed to get some sleep. She honestly worried about him. She was determined to block out last nights events and chalk them all up to the fact that it had been the middle of the night and both of them had been tired.

Sleep deprivation made people do strange things.

Hermione showered and then got dressed. She still had a few minutes until her friends were supposed to show up so she decided to take that opportunity to check on Malfoy. As quietly as possible she tried to open his door, and was happy to find it unlocked. It swung open noiselessly and Hermione slowly walked into his room, trying to be as silent as possible. He was laying on the side of his bed, his arms wrapped around himself, with his blanket on the floor. She was pleased to see that he was fast asleep. She went over and picked the blanket up off the floor and then settled it over him. He didn't even stir. At that point Hermione heard the faint sound of someone knocking on the door so she hastily made her way out of his room, shutting the door behind her.

Hermione put her shoes on and then opened the door to see Harry but not Ron.

"Morning, Harry. Where's Ron?" Hermione asked as she shut the door to her and Draco's Common Room and began walking down the hall with Harry.

"Morning. Ron wanted a few more minutes of extra sleep. He said he'll meet us down in the Great Hall in a few minutes," Harry explained as they began to walk down the stairs to the fifth floor.

Hermione was debating with herself. She wanted to tell someone about the events that had happened the night before. No matter how hard she tried she couldn't make herself forget. Maybe talking about it would get it out of her head. She almost felt like she was cheating on her friends by not telling them what happened. At least, by not telling Harry. She was honestly afraid that Ron would be very angry with her if he ever found out. She just wanted someone else's opinion on the whole matter and she figured Harry wouldn't judge her as harshly.

"We kissed," Hermione blurted out before she had time to talk herself out of it.

"What? When? And he didn't tell me? I can't believe it, I mean he's been wanting to say something to you for forever but what with the whole marriage thing he thought he better not so as to not complicate things. I can't believe he kissed you. What are you going to do about Malfoy?" Harry asked.

Hermione felt like a ton of lead had just been dropped on top of her. Harry had gotten the completely wrong idea and if she didn't explain fast then he was surely going to say something to Ron, which would cause even more problems when Harry discovered that it wasn't Ron she had kissed. It was best that she just tell the truth now.

"Not Ron. Malfoy. I kissed Malfoy," Hermione said timidly.

* * *

**Review pleeeeeaaaaaaassssssseeeeeee? (puppy dog eyes)**


	21. The Explanation

"Not Ron. Malfoy. I kissed Malfoy."

Harry stopped in his tracks and Hermione couldn't even look him in the eye. It wasn't necessarily that she was ashamed of what had happened, although she had to admit that was a little part of it, but deep down inside she didn't want her friends to think that she was a traitor. Draco Malfoy had never given Harry or Ron any reason to like him or trust him. The fact that she had kissed him... well it might make them think that her judgement was impaired. They might not trust her as much. She couldn't stand that thought.

"You did _what_?" Harry asked in complete disbelief.

"I didn't mean to do it. It just happened," Hermione explained running her fingers through her hair.

"How does that just happen? Did he force himself on you? I swear if he did I'll make him pay. Just because some piece of paper says that he's supposed to be your husband is no reason for him to mistreat you or take advantage of you." Hermione could see that Harrywas getting very angry and she wanted to do her best to dispel that before Ron appeared and caught on that something wasn't all right. While Draco had kissed her first, several times in fact, before she had kissed back, she knew that there had been nothing forceful about it. After all, she _had_ kissed him back.

And enjoyed it.

"He didn't force himself on me. It was just a spur of the moment thing. I kissed him back but I had stayed up studying and I was sleepy. I just wasn't thinking properly, you know?" Apparently he didn't know because he was looking at her as if she'd just grown three very large, very ugly, heads.

"Have you ever thought that maybe he has you under the Imperius curse?" Harry asked somberly.

"That's ridiculous Harry. It was completely of my own free will and _I_ stopped it. We've just spending a lot of time together and... and I don't know but it was a mistake and it isn't going to happen again." At least she was being honest. It _couldn't_ happen again. In all honesty her reaction to him scared her. He made her feel like she was drowning in tinglies and butterflies and that wasn't something that she could let herself do. Drowning was bad, very bad. Still, whenever she thought about the way his lips had touched hers and the way his hand had traveled over her skin she felt a sense of longing. She was determined to make it go away.

Harry seemed like he was at a lost for words and Hermione couldn't blame him. She'd be having much the same reaction if he had been the one to kiss Draco. That thought gave her just a little bit of amusement that was completely dispelled by the appearance of Ron.

"Morning Hermione. I'm starving..." he seemed to sense that they were in the middle of a serious discussion and he stopped and then looked from one of them to the other. "Is everything okay?"

"Fine," Hermione said quickly, while giving Harry a look that she hoped said loudly and plainly, 'keep this a secret'. While Harry's reaction hadn't been good, she didn't even want to imagine what Ron would say or do. She hoped that she didn't have to find out. Obviously having Harry as a sort of confidant wasn't going to work. Hermione just wanted someone that she could tell her feelings to and who wouldn't look at her like she was insane. She quickly ran through a list of names in her head.

There wasn't one person that she thought of that didn't have an intense to deep dislike for her future husband. She shuttered at those words. Fiancee was a little bit more tolerable. All in all it seemed as if the only person she could really talk to was Dumbledore. That thought made her chuckle out loud over her cereal. She definitely did not plan to tell the Headmaster about how she had kissed Draco and was now confused, not to mention concerned, about this strange affect that he was having over her.

Teenage hormones.

After all, they were spending large amounts of times together. It probably had something to do with pheromones or something like that. He was attractive yes, and she was beginning to think of him as a friend, but that was no reason to go about kissing him and letting him kiss her back. It had been her fault for inviting him into her bed. Hermione had to admit that she was glad that she had kept that fact from Harry. Then he really would have thought that she was under the Imperius curse.

"What's up with you two today?" Ron asked in the middle of chewing a bit of pancakes.

"Nothing," both she and Harry said at once. Hermione felt bad for making him keep something from Ron but obviously Harry realized that it would do more harm than good to tell him. Or he was waiting for a better time to break the news to him. Hermione hoped that Harry would at least tell her first if he decided that Ron needed to know.

Once breakfast was over Herione looked over at the Slytherin table, wondering if she would see _him_. She didn't. She supposed that it was a good thing that he was still asleep. The more he got the better. After breakfast, Harry and Ron were going to go to the Quidditch Pitch with the rest of the Gryffindor team and Hermione decided to join them. She needed something to keep her occupied and tagging along didn't seem like such a bad idea. Classes were going to be starting up in a few days and Gryffindor had a match, against none other than Slytherin, next weekend so the practice was needed. Hermione was glad that she had a book with her. She usually did.

It was a nice Spring day, not terribly cold, and the sun had decided to make an appearance from behind the clouds. Hermione was glad for the good weather. As her friends flew around on their brooms she sat in the stands with the book on her lap. It took her awhile to realize that it had been several minutes since she'd even turned the page. Her thoughts were elsewhere and completely not where they ought to be.

Hermione wondered what it was about him that made him get stuck in her thoughts so much. She reminded herself of her hormone theory and that comforted her a little. A biological explanation was better than anything else she could come up with. She liked knowing the why of things and why she had Draco Malfoy on the brain was a question that needed an answer, and a good answer at that.

She wondered what his answer was for kissing her. Or if he even had one. She wasn't sure that she would be able to ask him. She was quite dreading their first meeting. Would he want to talk about it? She wanted to pretend that it had never happened. Tt was much easier to do that then to try to talk about it. What if he had a reason that was... well... unacceptable? Really, she didn't want to know.

Hermione looked down at the Pitch. Things had just gotten interesting as the Hufflepuff team had decided to practice as well. It looked like the Captains of both teams had decided to have a practice game so Hermione shut her book and decided to watch. While she wasn't a big fan of Quidditch she did occasionally find it entertaining. That, and she hoped that the zooming and whirling figures would keep her more occupied than the book had.

Hermione was surprised to find that after the match was over it was only an hour until lunch time. She followed the other Gryffindor up to their Common Room, for a mini celebration over their win against Hufflepuff. Harry had been distant the entire time and while he wasn't ignoring her she could tell that he wasn't altogether happy with her. She hoped that he was still trying to process everything and then once he was done thinking he might come to the same conclusion that she had.

That it mean nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

They all walked down to the Great Hall together. Hermione was trying to be especially talkative to make up for Harry's glum silence. She wanted another opportunity to talk to him. Maybe to explain things more, but she couldn't find a diplomatic way to get Ron to leave. Instead they all sat together eating while Hermione chattered on about nothing specific.

"How are things going now that _he's_ back from break?" asked Ron. Hermione had been hoping to avoid this conversation. Yesterday, when she had confided in them about asking to see Draco's arm, Ron had been quite nasty about Draco. Really she couldn't blame him all that much but it was still something that she didn't like to hear. Not when she was trying her hardest to get along with him. It seemed as though she was succeeding too well though.

"Fine. I haven't seen him all that much," Hermione explained while Harry shot her a look of disapproval. Hermione felt guilty and wished that she'd never said anything. It would have been so much simpler if she would have just kept it to herself. She and Draco's little secret.

* * *

Draco woke up and yawned, dreading even the thought of getting out of bed, but glad that he'd had the most peaceful sleep that he'd had in awhile. He had no idea how long he had been asleep or what time it was. His whole body was sore but he had no intention of moving just yet. He figured that if he got out of bed and walked around a little bit he might feel better. Still, the bed was more comfortable. It was soft and warm, and he still felt like a few more hours of sleep wouldn't be a bad thing.

It was bright outside and as he closed his eyes it made it hard for him to drift back off into sleep. It had been a bad night, but tolerable. Once he had made it into his bed, sleep had come easily, at least for awhile. The nightmares had come but he hadn't woken up through any of them, at least not that he could remember. It still did not make for a very restful sleep. Nightmares were not the only thing that had interrupted his sleep.

There had also been thoughts of her.

He remembered waking up, some time around dawn and thinking of nothing but her. The night's actions seemed like a sort of dream to him but as far as he could tell what had happened between them was real. The memory of the smell of her and the warmth of her skin, the taste of her lips, was still too real in his mind for him to have imagined it. The fear in her voice when she had asked him to leave had also been too real.

Draco laid in bed wondering if she was angry with him. Last night when she had asked him to leave he wasn't sure that there had been any hint of anger in her voice. His mind again wandered to the kiss that they had shared. He felt his blood burn at the memory. Whether it had been sleep deprivation or the lingering memory of the nightmare that had made him initiate it he didn't know. He did remember how unbelievably wonderful it had felt to be near her in such a way. Even now he couldn't help but wonder what would have happened if she hadn't have stopped things.

It was for the best, he knew that much.

Draco decided that it was better that he get out of bed and stop thinking. Getting out of bed was a rather painful experience. He had spent to much time laying down and his muscles protested at the unwelcome exercise. Draco made his way to the bathroom, intent on a steaming hot shower to sooth away the aches in pains.

He was fairly certain that he fell half asleep standing up in the shower because all he could remember was the feeling of the hot water cascading over his body, not a thought in his head. Once he climbed out of the shower he had to admit that he felt a lot better. He stood in front of the mirror and smoothed his hair back and then, wrapping a towel around his waist, he opened the door and walked into the Common Room. It was just his luck that there she was, walking through the door.

They stood there for a moment standing in awkward silence. Draco was painfully aware that the only thing that was covering him happened to be a towel. Something had changed last night. The only thing he could concentrate on was the contour of her lips, the look in her eyes that spoke of confusion but he could also see desire. It took a lot of his self control not to go to her and kiss her the way he had the night before.

She cleared her throat.

"I'm glad you are awake. I was just going to stop by and make sure that you were still alive. You weren't at lunch," she said crossing her arms around her chest. He wasn't sure exactly what the gesture meant, other than she wanted him to stay away. Still, there was an influx of sexual tension in the air and he wasn't sure who was emitting more of it.

"I just woke up," he explained. So it was after lunch? He had slept longer than he thought. She was looking at his bare chest and her gaze was making it harder for him to think. "Will you wait while I go get dressed?"

Hermione nodded.

Draco went into his room and dressed before spending a minute in front of the mirror applying a generous amount of gel to his hair. If he allowed it to dry naturally it sometimes began to stick out at odd angles. Feeling much more at ease once he was dressed and looked decent he went back into the common room. She was sitting on the armchair to the left of the fireplace so he sat in the chair to the right. There was a good six or seven feet between them. Draco looked up at the grandfather clock in the corner and saw that it was just after two in the afternoon. He was surprised that he wasn't feeling hungry yet. It felt like it had been forever since he'd had anything to eat.

"Did you sleep well?" she asked while looking at the book that was sitting in her lap. She hadn't looked at him at all. He studied her for a moment. Her eyes didn't look like they were traveling across the page. In fact, it looked like she was trying to look distracted. He wanted to know why.

"As well as usual. About last night..."

"I'd really rather not talk about it. People do strange things in the middle of the night when they are half asleep."

Draco wandered if that was her excuse or his? Or both of theirs?

"So you regret it?" he asked lightly.

"Yes. Of course," she said hurriedly. There was a long pause that lasted longer than it should have. "Don't you?"

Draco thought about it for more than a minute and he could tell that it was making her uncomfortable. Did he really regret it? He didn't know. He _did_ know that it shouldn't have happened. It complicated things more than they already were. But he couldn't say he felt all that much regret. In fact, if he was being honest...

"No."

"No?" she questioned, looking at him in a way that made him wonder if he'd accidentally told her that he was a Death Eater. He wasn't sure the look of disgust could be much worse. Those words in his head, Death Eater, brought with it a new conflict that he had resolved with himself last night. He was determined, by whatever means necessary, that he wasn't going to be his father. He had a few months until he had to go home, and take her with him, but for those few months he was going to be himself. He wasn't going to manipulate her, he wasn't going to hurt her, he wasn't going to do anything.

Most of all he wasn't going to tell her the truth.

Since their engagement, there was only one thing that he had really lied about, and that was the fact that he was a Death Eater, or nearly so. There were, of course, the little lies that had gone along with that, but for the most part he had tried to be as honest with her as possible. He was going to keep it that way for as long as possible. No more dishonesty unless she again asked him flat out if he was a Death Eater. He was at least going to marry her honestly.

That thought struck him as amusing but in his own twisted way he meant it. One lie wasn't that much. If he spent the next three or so months manipulating her, deceiving her, lying to her, then he wasn't sure he would be able to live with himself. Once they were married maybe he would tell her. It would be that much harder for her to leave him. Perhaps she would help him find some way around his father's plans. After they were married he would tell her everything. That thought lifted an incredible weight from his shoulders. He wasn't going to be a liar forever.

"I thought it was nice, didn't you?" he asked impishly, feeling better than he had in a week. He wanted her to admit it but by the color rising in her cheeks but he wasn't sure that was going to happen.

"It was inappropriate," she said shortly, again pretending to pay no attention to him as she engrossed herself in her book.

"How is that?" he asked curiously. Hermione didn't even look up at him. He could tell that she was flustered and not amused.

"Students should not be doing what we were doing in the middle of the night." Her eyes never left the book.

"I believe we are the exception to the rule. After all we have rooms right across from each other. There are no enchantments to keep me out of yours, unlike the female dormitories in the other Houses. I'm sure Dumbledore is hoping that by summer you'll be pregnant with a child to name after him." The scathing look of furious annoyance that she graced him with was well worth it. "In all seriousness you are my fiance. Is it so bad that I wouldn't mind kissing you?"

"Yes."

"So it would be worse if I told you I thoroughly enjoyed it?"

"Yes!"

"And that I wouldn't mind doing it again?" He didn't get an answer because in a matter of seconds she had stood up, the book flying through the air in his general direction, and her bedroom door slamming shut with her behind it.

For the first time in a while Draco felt like himself.

* * *

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	22. The Impossible Slytherin

Hermione looked over at Draco and then her eyes quickly shot down to her Potions assignment. Snape had paired them up, once again, and Hermione was _not_ finding it difficult to be annoyed with him. She was sure that Snape was just waiting for them to bite each others' heads off so she was trying her best to behave. Now that was difficult. Not entirely for the reasons that it should be. Plain and simple... Draco was being a little snot.

He thought that he could get the best of her and she had to admit that it was working. It had been four days since the kiss and he never let her forget it. Oh he didn't bring it up anymore, he was much too subtle for that, but she knew what he was doing. Every glance, every accidental brush of the hand, it was all an attempt to fluster her to no end. It was working. She had lost track of the number of times in the last few days that her face had turned red with embarrassment. He had definitely turned it into an art.

The worst part of all was that she actually found it amusing. Annoying most certainly, but also amusing. It was driving her insane. Now here they were, elbow to elbow, his fault of course. She was trying hard not to impulsively move her elbow away, that would give him the satisfaction... Well, her elbow was there first. Hermione turned her attention back up to the board where she was copying the days instructions in her neat, tidy, handwriting.

Draco had already finished taking his notes. She gave a sideways glance at his parchment to see that it all looked illegible to her. He'd probably rushed through the writing just to annoy her even more. She told herself not to be paranoid. Half of the time she was sure that he was out to annoy her and the other half of the time she was sure that he was simply oblivious and she was being paranoid.

Then again, this was Draco Malfoy. He wasn't oblivious. It was as if she was his prey and he was toying with her right before he pounced and devoured her whole. Yes, that was exactly how she felt. Well, he was in for a fight. Hermione glanced across the room towards Harry's table only to see Ron staring over at her with a perplexed look on his face. Hermione immediately moved her elbow away from Draco's and she swore that she heard a barely audible snicker.

Yes, she was paranoid all right.

Once the class as a whole was done taking notes, Snape told them to begin their potion. It wasn't an incredibly hard assignment as it was more to replenish the depleted stock in the Hospital Wing. They were making the Pepperup potion which cured the common cold. Now that winter had come and gone, Madame Pomfrey was in need of more. So it was their potion for the day. At least it would be a welcome distraction. She very much enjoyed making potions. It was just her partner that she was worried about. His grade was her grade and she was determined to get a good one. The fact that she had to share it with him annoyed her.

She was, however, fairly sure that at least this assignment was not going to end with them having detention and being sent to Dumbledore's office. She almost wished that she could drudge up that animosity and direct it back at him. It was so much more easier than her current feelings toward him.

Not that she had any idea what those were.

Hermione generally went back and forth between her feelings for him and lately they seemed to be erring on the positive side. This compounded her annoyance towards him. If she was being honest with herself then she had to admit that a good amount of the annoyance was simply because she was finding herself actually enjoying his company.

There, she'd thought it if not said it.

She enjoyed Draco Malfoy's company.

Hermione looked over at him and shot him a scathing glare just because she could. Maybe it would incite him to behave a little bit. They went to opposite ends of the room as she got the cauldron, filled it a quarter full with water, got a few other utensils that they were going to need, while he went and got the various herbs. So far the team work wasn't incredibly bad.

Draco already had the herbs in his possession so she let him add the first ingredient, which happened to be a large amount of cinnamon. The directions called for them to bring the water and the cinnamon to a boil and then let it simmer for ten minutes. That meant that there was virtually ten minutes of doing nothing. Within two of those minutes the whole classroom reeked of cinnamon so badly that Hermione could swear that her eyes were tearing up.

She was straightening up her desk, not that she particularly needed to, when Snape walked around handing them back the test that they had taken right before Spring Break. Hermione glanced down at hers and smiled in satisfaction, an 'O' as usual. If there was one thing that she was thankful for it was that Snape generally graded them fairly. She was sure that if he had his way she would perpetually fail.

Another paper was placed in front of her and she looked over to see that Draco had handed her his paper. It was also an 'O'. Hermione had to admit that she was a little bit surprised by that. Draco simply looked smug. She was going to congratulate him but figured that it would just make the smug look on his face worse so she settled for nodding in acknowledgement and then giving the paper back to him. He grinned, she scowled.

Impossible he was.

The ten minutes had passed and it was now time to add the crushed asphodel. Figuring that Draco had added the cinnamon, Hermione decided that it was fair game that she get to add the next ingredient. 'Coincidentally' they reached for the small bowl at the same time, their fingers touching. Hermione pulled away as if her hand was on fire.

Really, she was going to _kill_ him.

"Sorry, did you want this?" he asked with an innocent smile that was much too innocent to be real. She was almost starting to miss the grumpy, solemn, moody, Draco. Well, not really, but he was sometimes much easier to understand and deal with. A change had come over him since the night that they had kissed and Hermione really didn't know what to make of it. Surely the mere fact that they had kissed didn't have this effect on him.

Hermione thought back to that first day he had come back to Hogwarts after Spring Break. The dark, pronounced, circles under his eyes were now entirely gone and he actually was smiling again, mostly at her expense. Not that she was finding that a good thing, it usually meant that he'd just done something obnoxious. Still, she wasn't sure what had caused the change in him. She supposed that it could be the fact that he was back at Hogwarts. Something had changed about him and while she protested all of the little, flustering, things that he did she was secretly glad for it.

Mmmhmm. _Very_ secretly. No one was going to get her to admit that she was relieved. That first day after spending time at Malfoy Manor she had worried about him and it was good to see that he seemed somewhat happy. This perplexed her more than anything. After all, in a few months they were going to be married. Really, what was there to be happy about that?

Hermione felt her face go red as she suddenly felt his leg resting against hers underneath the table. When had he got so close? She was sure that she knew the key to his happiness. He was a sadist. That was all there was to it. Next time she was going to kick him.

The rest of the class finished without incident. Hermione and Draco were the first ones done with their potion and Snape looked fairly pleased with what they had accomplished. Hermione was glad that it seemed as if she had gotten another 'O' on an assignment. Unfortunately so had he. She remembered the bet they'd made in the Trophy Room, surely he wasn't going to pass her as top student this semester. That was simply ridiculous. However if he did, and the prospect had to be considered, she wondered exactly what he would make her do. If she won he was buying her a library. She could only imagine that if he won she'd have to kiss him again.

Of course just the thought of that was entirely unpleasant. Once class was over Hermione headed towards Ron and Harry, who had managed to get their potion finished as well. Hermione walked with them to her next class, glad to be away from Draco.

"What was up with Malfoy today?" Ron asked as they rounded the corner.

"What do you mean?" Hermione asked trying to keep the panic from her voice. Harry seemed content not to interrupt the conversation.

"He was especially touchy towards you I noticed," Ron said with a frown. Hermione concentrated on watching where she was going as she tried to think of something to say. Damn Draco for putting her in this situation. She had hoped that Ron hadn't been paying very much attention. Obviously she'd been wrong.

"I don't know really. Maybe now that we're getting along, in a way, he's not as careful that if he gets too close I'll curse him into next week," she said with what she hoped passed as mischievous grin. She _was_ going to curse him into next week if this didn't stop. Ron seemed either satisfied with the answer, or didn't feel like continuing the conversation, and Harry stayed stonily silent. Hermione then decided to gush about how she had received an Outstanding on her test from last week.

Tonight she was going to talk to Draco and give him a piece of her mind. A very big piece.

* * *

Draco sat in his next class hardly paying attention, although he was still taking the occasional note with the thought in mind that it was important to get a good grade. It was important to get a good grade because he wanted to beat her, and badly. He wasn't sure that he'd ever wanted anything as badly as that. With a smile, he thought back to Potions and the way her cheeks had turned red. He enjoyed getting such reactions out of her.

It wasn't just for the amusement.

He liked knowing that he had that effect on her because it meant something that he found incredibly odd yet satisfying. Hermione Granger was attracted to him. He was still in a little bit of disbelief, but every accidental touch proved it to him. The way her breath quickened, the way the color rose in her cheeks. It perplexed him and at the same time made him very self aware. At first it had started harmlessly enough, their talk of the kiss had ended abruptly and he had liked the fact that he could get under her skin. After all, it was what he did best.

The fact that she had reacted like that told him one very important thing. She wanted to kiss him again. At least he was quite sure that she did. Strangely enough, he wanted to return it. He had meant it when he had told her that he enjoyed himself and wanted to do it again. He wasn't sure why and he had stopped trying to analyze it a few days ago. His mind generally just went in a big circle. Did he like kissing her simply because it felt nice or was it something else?

Draco had no idea. It had been so long since he'd kissed anyone that he missed the physical contact. However there was also the novelty of kissing _Hermione Granger_. The challenge of it. The contradiction of it. Just a few months ago she had been grouped in with mortal enemies and now she was engaged to him. He did relish a challenge and getting her to kiss him again definitely was an inviting one.

Not only that, it was a welcome distraction.

Draco tried to stop the direction of his thoughts but they went that way regardless. He could feel his arm. It was kind of the sensation one got when bitten by a mosquito. As long as you ignored the fact that it was there you didn't feel the itch. When Draco was concentrating on other things it was harder to notice it, harder to feel it lingering just under his skin. That part of his arm felt warmer and heavier. As if someone had laid a thin sheet of warm metal under his skin.

He didn't like remembering it was there.

Especially when there were so many other pursuits that he could concentrate on. He was glad when at last class was dismissed and he had a reason to stop thinking and start moving again. He took the stairs two at a time as he made his way back to his dorms. He was going to grab a few of his books and head down to the Library to study before dinner. At least he had a rather long, and he was sure it was going to be very tedious, History of Magic essay due in a few days. The sooner he got it done the better. He walked into his room, intent on dropping off the unneeded books when he noticed a tap, tap, tap, on the window. Sitting on the sill was a large, eagle owl. Draco felt his stomach drop. There was no doubt who that was from.

Better to read it now than to worry about what it might say. Draco went to the window, took the rolled up piece of parchment from around it's leg, took an owl treat from the dish on his dresser, and then he sent the owl back on it's way. He sat down on the bed feeling his hands tremble despite his resolve not to let this bother him. He had picked a side, picked a course of action, so what was in this letter didn't matter. It had no bearing on anything.

His hands were still trembling.

With a sigh and a quick motion he broke the seal and unrolled the letter. The first part was harmless enough. His father asked how school was coming along. How his studies were, how his friends and teachers were. Draco's gray eyes skimmed through it quickly as his father told him random tidbits of Ministry news, all things he could find out by reading the Prophet. Draco got to the end of the letter.

_I hope you are honoring your responsibilities, Draco. How is your project coming along? Well, I hope. I believe that you know what's at stake. I hope everything is in Order, please feel free to share any information that you have as soon as possible. Hopefully some news by the end of the week? I'll be waiting. L.M._

With a flick of his wand Draco incinerated the letter and it burst into flames. He knew what that last bit had meant. His father wanted him to get some information about the Order of the Phoenix. How was he supposed to go about doing that? Honestly did anyone really expect him to be able to weasel information out of her? Especially that easily? She wasn't stupid. It wasn't as if she was going to freely give him any information that he wanted. Not unless he used malicious means of getting that information. He had made his choice. No turning back.

With the smell of burning parchment filling his room, he grabbed his books and then headed off to the library. Once he was there he absently flipped through his book, the pages not meaning anything to him. There was no reason for him to allow his mind to linger on such things but he couldn't help it. There was a little voice in his head whispering; traitor. Traitor. Traitor.

He wasn't sure of the allegiance of the voice. Was he a traitor for even considering his father's wishes or was he a traitor because he wasn't considering it more seriously? Again, questions that he didn't have the answers to. That was a question that he didn't _want_ an answer to. It really wasn't worth knowing. He struggled through the essay, losing his concentration and cursing his father because of it. He didn't know that it would be that hard to let things go.

It was.

Before he knew it it was dinner time so he made his way to the Great Hall. He quickly ate his food, ignoring the whining and complaining of Pansy, who was sitting next to him and grumbling about how she didn't get to see him anymore. Once he was done eating Draco excused himself and made his way up to his dorm. He needed a little peace and quiet. Perhaps it was the last thing he needed but he craved it regardless.

He got up to their dorm and the smell of burning parchment still lingered in the air. He lay down on the couch and managed to fall into a restless sleep. There was no dream, at least not that he could recall. It seemed as if he lingered between sleeping and being awake. He heard the sound of the door opening and closing and it startled him enough that he woke up momentarily before falling back asleep. A little while later he woke up again. Draco couldn't tell how long he'd been asleep but a quick glance out the window revealed that it was just getting dark. He looked up to see Hermione sitting in the armchair, a book in her lap.

"I was wondering when you were going to wake up," she said closing the book. She didn't look all that happy with him but it was a look that he was beginning to get very used to. He found that it looked quite cute on her.

"I'm sure that you could've found an appropriate way to wake me," he said with a smirk. She glared but if he didn't know better there was a smile lingering on her lips.

"We need to talk," she said, her voice revealing nothing.

* * *

Thanks for reading, enjoy your weekend and make mine extra special by reviewing! :P


	23. The Best Laid Plans

"We need to talk," Hermione said, her voice revealing nothing. She had spent the better part of the evening strategizing. At first she had decided that this conversation was going to contain a lot of 'How dare you's and 'Who do you think you are?'s but that plan had quickly changed because that was exactly what he wanted. He wanted to offend her and annoy her and yelling at him was the quickest way to give him what he wanted. She was not going to do that. She could play games too.

"What do we need to talk about?" he asked as he laid back, his arms resting behind his head. Hermione felt herself losing courage. Really she wasn't very good at playing _these_ sorts of games. She had spent the last few hours working herself up to this moment and now that it was here she felt her Gryffindor courage deflating like a punctured balloon. She had decided that the best way to get back at Draco Malfoy was to kiss him. How in the world was she going to be able to _kiss_ him?

First off they were too far away. How was she supposed to make her way over the couch and once she did that how did she go about getting her face close to his? Did she kneel next to the couch? Did she just lean down and kiss him? Decisions, decisions, decisions. How to make him speechless and get the best of him? She was quickly forgetting any sort of plan. After all, she was Hermione Granger. She should easily be able to outwit him and here she was, lowering herself to his level. She refused to admit that maybe part of her actually wanted to do this. She didn't want to analyze the motivation, or the reasons. She decided to stall.

"Is there a particular reason why you've decided that we are suddenly... friendly enough that you can go about touching me when ever you feel like it?"

"Oh have I been unfair?" he asked, a mischievous twinkle in his eye. "I didn't mean to make you feel excluded. I wasn't aware that you needed permission. Touch away," he said with a smirk.

Hermione felt the beginnings of a blush and she willed it away. He had just given her permission to touch him. Well that was nice of him. Was there any reason not to take him up on that offer? After all, she had courage, she was a Gryffindor, she might as well use it. She got up from the chair and then made her way over to him. She could see the look of surprise in his eyes and she relished it. Finally she was the one in charge od whatever game they were playing. He probably thought that she was going to get embarrassed and leave the room, chucking something at him in the process like she had last night.

He was very much mistaken.

"So... I'm allowed to touch you?" she asked. She knelt down on the floor next to the sofa, inches from his face. Hermione felt her heart beating furiously and she wasn't sure why. Fear? Adrenaline? Anticipation? Insanity? For all she knew it was a combination of all of them. She had never done this, never tried to seduce someone. Not that she was actually trying to _seduce_ him. She was simply giving him a dose of his own medicine. There was absolutely nothing wrong with that. It was just like acting in a play. She didn't have to want to touch him or kiss him but it was the part that she chose to play.

"Yes, you're allowed."

Hermione could have sworn that something in his voice changed. For a split second she looked into his eyes and what she saw surprised her a little. It almost looked like he was challenging her. She looked away and concentrated on the pale surfaces of his cheek, his neck, his throat. Her hand followed the path of her eyes. She watched, nearly breathless, as he closed his eyes. That made it more difficult, yet at the same time, easier. She leaned forward, slowly closing the gap between their lips. At the last minute she hesitated and she could feel his breath hit her face. It was warm and it felt nice. She closed the distance between them.

Their lips crashed against each other with more force than she had anticipated. Her hand went to the back of his neck, slowly moving up to his hair. She felt his hands on either side of her face and he pulled her closer. She wasn't sure if she was breathing or not, she felt dizzy and breathless and strangely empty, like she was floating above her body, yet at the same time she had never felt more grounded.

Hermione felt her lips part and his tongue enter her mouth. It was just as passionate as the initial kiss. She felt herself responding, felt her hands moving from his neck down to his chest, her hands tangling themselves in his shirt. Wanting to both take it off and keep it on. She had no idea what she was doing. All thoughts of revenge, getting even, toying with him, was left in the wake of something that she couldn't explain.

She didn't want an explanation.

Suddenly he pulled away and stood up, pulling her up with him. They were now standing right in front of each other and he closed the gap between them, pulling her close, kissing her again. She wasn't sure that she could even walk. He pulled her towards his room, all the time kissing her. She started to panic, not sure what she was doing or what she was wanted. He must of sensed her hesitation because he pulled away, his arms still wrapped around her. She secretly cherished the warmth of his arms.

"Do you want me to stop?" he asked breathing heavily. His pale gray eyes had never looked so beautiful.

"Yes," she said just as breathlessly before kissing him again. She wanted him to stop yet at the same time she was finding it impossible to let him. She was falling and she couldn't help herself. She didn't want to help herself.

* * *

Draco didn't know what to do. There was an internal battle raging inside of him and he didn't know which side to pick. She felt so warm and so soft and he didn't want to let go of her, yet at the same time he felt obligated to. He had no idea what had gotten into her to make her act the way that she was, but he couldn't bring himself to voice a complaint. It felt too good. He had to admit that he could never recall kissing some one the way that he was kissing her. He felt the need to do so much more than just kiss her. He had the sense to know that it wasn't a good idea.

Even though he was sure that he couldn't form a coherent thought in his head at that moment he knew that doing anything but kissing would lead to disaster. He was under no illusions about her innocence and he knew better than to push her. He had no intention of making that mistake. Making himself a regret. He stopped moving toward the bedroom although he wanted to keep going. He told himself that as much as he wanted to lay in bed with her, their bodies pressed together that wasn't conducive to behaving, and they had to behave. He knew that much.

He didn't want her to feel like he was pressuring her.

Draco pulled himself away from her lips, resting his forehead against hers. "I thought we were stopping," he said softly, giving her the chance, once again to pull away. She didn't move. She just looked up at him, a slightly terrified look in her eyes. He didn't know what to say. If he had started the kiss he would apologize, but he hadn't. He didn't know if it would make it better if he did. Or worse. He didn't know what he would even be apologizing for. Kissing her back?

"Stopping. Yes. Good plan," she said looking up at him and then closing her eyes. He sincerely hoped that she wouldn't start crying. He had never brought anyone to tears with his kisses and he didn't want to start now. He wasn't sure what was the matter with her. Was she sorry that she had kissed him? Probably, that made the most sense. Once again he wasn't sorry for kissing her. Kissing her was unlike kissing anyone else and he relished the opportunity to do it.

Draco wasn't sure that she felt the same way. "Are you alright?" he asked tentatively. He wasn't sure whether or not he should move away. His arms were still wrapped around her, resting at the small of her back and he began to worry that being so close to her was not helping matters. It was just so hard to help himself.

"I think so. I just wasn't expecting... well... things," she said hesitantly, still not opening her eyes. He really wanted her to just look at him. Her answer didn't shed much light on how she was feeling. Had she not expected him to respond back? Was it the fact that he had tried to lead her to his bedroom? He didn't know.

"What weren't you expecting?" he asked, resisting the urge to plant kisses on her forehead. He was sure the small signs of affection would not be entirely appreciated. It also felt odd to want to give them. He wasn't sure that he had ever wanted to be affectionate towards anyone but her. There was a change happening inside of him and he was powerless to stop it. All of these feelings and emotions were crashing down around him and he didn't feel like Draco Malfoy. He felt like a better person, someone different. It was terrifying.

"Nothing. I really should be going to my room," she said hurriedly, forcing him to let go of her. He did so reluctantly as he watched with a thoughtful look as she made her way across the room and then into the safety of her room her door softly closing behind her.

Well, things were definitely much more complicated now.

Draco went back to the sofa and sat down with a long sigh. He had the feeling that the reason that she had kissed him in the first place had been some way to get back at him for teasing her. It had worked at first, the shock of her coming to him, of touching him and kissing him, had definitely been surprising. Pleasantly so, of course. However he was sure that she hadn't planned to escalate it that far. He hadn't even planned to escalate it that far.

Hermione was probably in her room being upset with herself for allowing it to get out of hand. He had to admit that he felt guilty. He shouldn't have tempted her and teased her, goaded her into it. With another sigh that prepared himself for rejection, he got off the sofa and walked to her door. He tentatively knocked and wasn't greeted without an answer.

Draco wasn't sure what he was going to say but he was sure that he could come up with some way to smooth it over, to make light of it. He would even blame himself if it helped. He didn't fully understand why but he knew that he didn't want her to be unhappy. At least not because of something he did. He knocked again and then finally he heard her walking towards the door and it opened.

She was standing there.

At least it didn't look like she had been crying. He felt a little bit of relief over that. Her cheeks were still flushed and her hair was still slightly askew from him running his fingers through it.

"What?" she asked, filling the question with annoyance.

"I just wanted to tell you that what just happened, happens all of the time. No one can resist me, they say I have a bit of veela blood in me," he joked, attempting a grin. She looked less than impressed at his attempt to lighten the mood. He decided to attempt a different route.

"What I mean is I didn't mean to... make you uncomfortable. If you don't want anything like that to happen again it won't." Draco wasn't enteirely sure that he had just told the truth. They were going to be married soon. How was he going to stop wanting to give into the physical attraction that he had for her? Would it really lessen in time? He wasn't sure. Maybe it would leave as quickly as it had come.

"That would probably be for the best," she said shortly. Draco tried not to feel any disappointment but he couldn't really help himself. It was there all the same.

"Right," he said hoping that his face didn't reveal how he was feeling inside. Of course it didn't. That was one thing that he was good at.

"Good night," Hermione said as she shut the door.

Stifling a sigh, Draco turned around and made his way to his room wondering why things had to be so complicated.


	24. The Girl Talk and The Lies

Hermione was in bed, absently staring up at the ceiling, wondering what she had gotten herself into. She had never dreamed that her 'romantic' life would be this complicated. Her head had been going around in circles for some time now. Sleep had been horrible, she had spent the entire night tossing and turning. She knew that she ought to get out of bed and get something to eat but it was a Saturday so she was reveling in the excuse to be lazy. She also had a reason not to walk out of those doors and potentially have to face him. Even after hours of thought, wondering what she was going to do about him, she hadn't come up with much this far.

Draco was her fiance. She was finding him tolerable to be around, sometimes even pleasant to be around. He wasn't a Death Eater. He had tried to make all of this bearable for her. Not entirely true, as there had been quite a bit of arguing and bickering at the beginning, but when all was said and done he could have made things much worse. So here she was, engaged to him. What was the problem? Everything else.

His allegiances concerned her. She wasn't sure if she could trust him. That lack of trust went farther than she wanted to admit. Trust him to do the right thing, trust him not to hurt her, trust him not to revert back to his old ways, trust him not to bend to the influence of his father. There were a lot of trust issues right there, not to mention taking into consideration their history together. She hadn't forgiven him for her first few years at Hogwarts, certainly hadn't forgotten about it, but honestly when she thought about it it was like she was thinking of a different person. It was becoming harder and harder to associate that mean smirk and the hateful word 'Mudblood' with his grin and that impish look in his eyes that he always got before he did something mischievous.

Then there was the whole other issue of what Ron and Harry would think.

Hermione wasn't one to necessarily care what other people thought but Ron and Harry were not just 'other people', they were extensions of who she was. Still, they wouldn't have to marry him, nor live with him for an indeterminate amount of years. Did she owe it to herself to try to make the best of this and potentially make things work out with Draco, for her own good? Possibly, but if they did try to make a go of things and then ended up not suited for each other that could make things worse. Why not keep it to the friendship they had developed now, and hope that it got them through it?

Then again the thought of living with him, of seeing him every day, of sharing a bed with him, made her face flush. Should they not be able to find a way out of 'consumating' their marriage what would be easier? Go into the marriage bed as friends who would respect each other... or real lovers? Would doing something so intimate with him make it impossible for them to just be friends?

Hermione put her hands over her face and groaned in frustration. She felt like pulling her hair out sometimes. Still no answers, only more questions and there wasn't enough time to analyze each one and come up with a suitable conclusion. Part of her said give up and just go with whatever happened. The logical part of her hated that strategy and refused to accept that she couldn't come up with some sort of plan. Hermione decided that a hot shower might do something to soothe her bad mood, or at least work out the soreness from her hours of tossing and turning.

She laid in bed a few minutes longer, listening for him. Wondering where he was, what he was doing. She breathed a sigh of relief when she looked at the clock and saw that it was already after nine-thirty, he was probably at Quidditch practice. They had a game tomorrow and she desperately hoped that he hadn't accidentally slept in. She got out of bed and opened her bedroom door. All was empty. She went into the bathroom and after thirty minutes in the shower she felt much better.

It looked like she hadn't been the only one to sleep in late. The Great Hall wasn't nearly as empty as she thought it would be. Harry and Ron were nowhere to be seen and that was a little surprising but she spotted Ginny's vibrant red hair and made her way over to her. Taking a seat to her left.

"Good morning," Ginny said cheerfully as Hermione began piling pancakes on her plate.

"Morning," Hermione said with a grin. It seemed like it had been a very long time since she had spent any time with Ginny. They'd gotten to catch up quite a bit over the Spring break but it still wasn't the same. She and Ginny had gotten quite close the year before and had spent a lot of late nights talking together. Hermione felt as if she had neglected Ginny a little bit over the past several weeks. Maybe what she needed was someone female to talk with.

Hermione really wanted to confide in Harry but she wasn't sure she could take the look of disgust he gave her whenever she mentioned Draco. Not to mention she had explicitly promised that she wouldn't kiss him again and she had gone back on that.

"Ron wanted me to tell you that they are having that Wizard's Chess competition in the Common Room this afternoon and you are more than welcome to come and watch him be crowned Chess Champion of Gryffindor House. In other words you can sit there for hours on end watching Ron try to strategize. The smoke coming out of his ears might be amusing," Ginny said with a laugh.

Hermione had forgotten all about the competition. She would have to make an appearance eventually, but it didn't even start for another hour and unless Ron was eliminated in the first round she was sure that she would be able to see him play. That would give her more than enough time to ask Ginny to help her with her problems. It was either that or Professor McGonagall, and frankly Hermione was a little more comfortable having this talk with Ginny.

"Gin, mind taking a walk with me after breakfast?" Hermione offered as she poured herself a glass of orange juice.

"I'd love to. Got nothing better planned."

After Hermione had gorged herself on pancakes she and Ginny made their way outside. It was a nice spring day, it was cool but the lack of a breeze made it so she didn't need a cloak or a charm. Even now, Hermione looked for _him_. From where she was at all she could see where little green and silver figures whizzing through the air. She couldn't stop herself from walking in that direction with Ginny in tow.

"I don't know what to do," Hermione finally blurted out after they had been walking for a few minutes.

"About what?" Ginny asked. She followed Hermione's hand motion, towards the Quidditch Pitch and the one that she could now almost make out as Draco.

"Him."

"Ah," Ginny said, her voice revealing nothing. Hermione was a little hesitant to go on. She didn't know where Ginny stood on the issue, certainly there was no love lost between them, still, she didn't think that Ginny was as invested in her dislike as say Harry or Ron. At least she hoped not.

Hermione stopped and leaned against the tree while she watched him dip and zoom through the air. Giving directions. When had she began to delight in the sight of him? She couldn't remember. It just seemed natural to want to see him.

"He's behaving himself yes? I heard Ron talking to Harry, he thinks that Malfoy might be pushing you towards something you aren't ready for. He's worried about you."

"I'm worried about me," Hermione admitted. It touched her that Ron was worried about her yet it also concerned her that he had been able to pick up on Malfoy's not so subtle flirting. "Not worried in _that_ way," Hermione hurriedly corrected herself, knowing that she was sounding ominous. "I know that he wouldn't hurt me. At least not intentionally anyway." She had issues with what she had just said but she had decided not to point them out to Ginny. What if Draco couldn't get away from his father's influence. Was it possible that he might do something to cause her harm? She didn't even want to think about that.

"What are you worried about exactly?" Ginny asked and Hermione sighed.

"He isn't pushing me towards anything that I don't want to do, but sometimes, sometimes I feel as if he's showing me the path and I'm walking down it willingly. Then I decide that I have no idea what I'm doing and then I backtrack before I get completely lost."

"Does he make you happy?" Ginny's question caused Hermione to stop and think for a something. It was a simple question with such a complicated answer.

"I honestly don't know. He frustrates me. He worries me. He amuses me. He does all of these things that I don't know what to do with. I think that he cares about me, in his own way, but I'm not sure that it can be... anything. I just wish this stupid marriage law had never been passed in the first place. As if I needed more difficulties in my life." And she was so very surprised to find, after the words left her mouth, that it wasn't entirely true. Part of her, a larger part than she'd ever admit, was happy for the fact that Draco was in her life.

"I understand what you mean. Maybe you need to stop trying to make him fit what it is that you think he should be to you. Friend or not, other things or not. Things will fall into place. They have a habit of doing that you know? Just do what makes you happy."

Hermione nodded. Ginny hadn't given her any enlightening advice but it was still helpful. It made her feel less guilty somehow. So she should just let things happen? Again the logical part of her rebelled against that idea. How could she just let things happen? Especially after last night, that could have led to something that probably wouldn't be good for either one of them. Despite how good it felt.

She could feel herself blushing.

"We'd better get up to the Common Room and cheer Ron on," Hermione said, with a last parting glance towards the Quidditch Pitch. She could almost swear that he was looking right at her.

* * *

Draco made his way to the Great Hall for something to eat. It had been a long day of practice, lasting until after lunch when the Ravenclaw had shown up and demanded their part of the day to practice. Draco and the rest of the team were now seating themselves around the table. It had been a good practice and Draco was optimistic about their chances tomorrow. That hadn't stopped him from being distracted by a certain bushy haired witch though. He wondered what she had been doing walking with Weasley's sister. They seemed to have been having a conversation and the looks that she cast his way made him think that it was about him.

It had taken every ounce of self control not to cast a sonar hearing charm so that he could hear precisely what they were talking about but he hadn't done it. He'd thought about it but in the end he would have felt like he was violating her privacy and while he knew that shouldn't bother him it did anyway, so he had refrained. He would just have to ask her about it later and hopefully she would put his curiosity at bay. He had a compulsive need to know everything that she said and thought about him.

He hadn't realized how cold his hands were until they wrapped around a mug of hot chocolate and they started to burn and tingle.

Draco's mind once again went to what had happened, or nearly happened, last night and that thought instantly made him feel warmer. She really did get to him in a way that no one else ever had and the thought of not ever kissing her again gave him a hollow feeling in his stomach. Deciding that he was probably just hungry he began piling food on his plate.

He was more than half way done with his food when all of a sudden Pansy plopped down beside him. She looked absolutely elated and he was concerned as to why. Anything that made Pansy happy was not a good thing.

"I just heard! Why didn't you tell me?" she whispered in his ear, still loud enough for those that were sitting around to hear. She had gotten the attention of Nott, Zabini, and Vaisey who seemed to have taken a casual interest in what she was whispering about.

"Tell you what?" asked Draco, wanting her to not be as close to him as she was. He noticed how absolutely annoying her voice was.

"That you were initiated!" she said, more quietly this time, yet he could tell that the other three had been paying close enough attention to hear. He felt his heart thumping in his ears. He hadn't wanted this to come out. He didn't want to be a hero. As far as he knew he was the only one in Slytherin that had actually undergone a formal initiation, most of theirs would take place this summer. He could feel envious eyes on him.

"Is that true?" Interrupted Vaisey. He was the one that was closest to Draco. Draco decided he shouldn't lie about it. The secret would be fairly safe within his fellow Slytherins, as long as Pansy stopped whispering about it in public. He really wanted to hex her for that. Draco silently nodded, pretending that it wasn't a big deal. Really it wasn't after all. He decided to look very interested in his mashed potatoes.

"To Draco!"

Draco looked up in alarm and panic as Nott stood up with his goblet raised. Draco couldn't comprehend what he was doing and when his brain finally processed everything and told him to stop this as soon as possible it was too late.

"Best Quidditch Captain in the history of Hogwarts! May he lead us to victory!" The rest of the Slytherin's raised their drinks while the few other people in the Hall paid them no mind. Draco couldn't bring himself to lift his goblet because he was sure that his shaking hand would be visible to everyone. For some reason he had thought that Nott was about to announce to everyone that he was a Death Eater. He knew the fear was irrational but that didn't stop his stomach from twisting itself in knots. Draco's heart finally slowed down a little bit and he realized that his face wasn't betraying him.

He was smiling.

That concerned him.

He didn't want to be this person.

"We should go up to the Common Room and have a celebration," Nott said from his seat. This surprised Draco as Nott was usually fairly quiet and kept to himself. It was strange that suddenly he was wanting a celebration. Did the fact that he was a Death Eater make such a difference? He had been so preoccupied with what it meant to him and, admittedly Hermione, that he had hardly spared a thought for what anyone else might think about it.

He didn't want this. He had spent his childhood dreaming about the power and respect that he would gain from being a Death Eater. It had, at one time, been the thing that he had most wanted. The one thing that would make his father proud. It had seemed like the answer to so many things in his life. Now... now it was the one thing that was destroying him. It was ruining everything. He didn't want this.

"We might as well wait until we win tomorrow. Then we'll really have something to celebrate," he said, again surprised at the facade that he put on. He always knew the right thing to say and how to say it.

He didn't want to be this person anymore.

"Come on Draco, this is something really worth celebrating," said Pansy from her perch beside him. What could he say? It wasn't as if he had massive amounts of homework to get done or studying to do, how could he possibly get out of it?

He couldn't.

"Alright, sure," he said, trying not to let the reluctance show in his voice.

He really didn't want to do this.

A little while later he was in the Slytherin Common Room, a group of Slytherin gathered around him. Someone had broken out a few bottles of alcohol, Draco wasn't sure what kind, probably homemade, but it was being passed around in a bottle and he was obligated to take a few swigs. They weren't having so much a celebration as all of them were being quite quiet and looking at him expectantly. He supposed that they wanted him to talk, they wanted the story. He wasn't sure that he could give it to them.

"When did it happen?" asked a sixth year named Harper. All students in their fifth year and below had been banished from the Common Room so it was just a handful of students. Draco was keenly aware of Pansy. She had her hand on his leg and he was trying to think of an appropriate way to get her away from him. At the moment all it was doing was annoying him and hindering his thinking process.

"Spring Break," Draco said as he leaned back on the sofa, his posture relaxed, his face bored. He honestly wanted to crawl out of his skin and slither away. Back upstairs, back to the Common Room he shared with Hermione. One of the only places he actually felt like he could be himself.

Everyone started asking a hundred questions and Draco felt his head start to pound with the beginnings of a headache. He told them some of what happened, inserting bravado into the parts that needed it, which was pretty much the whole thing. How honored he was to be chosen. How powerful he had felt afterward.

Lies, lies, lies.

Each time the bottle of alcohol came his way Draco took a drink, hoping that it would help the aching in his head. All of his fellow Slytherins were so in awe of him, so envious, it made him want to be sick. They just wouldn't stop talking. Draco felt himself laughing as someone had said that he looked forward to having Muggleborn slaves once the war was over and the Dark Lord had won. An image of Hermione flashed through his head and he was in serious jeopardy of losing his lunch. And then it got worse.

"And what about the future Mrs. Malfoy? I wouldn't mind having her as my slave, in more ways than one. As long as I could gag her so she'd stop talking." There was laughter and jeering and Draco couldn't bring himself to laugh, in fact it was taking every ounce of his self control not to blast the sixth year into oblivion. He was clutching his wand so hard in his pocket that he feared it might break.

He wanted to run right now. He wanted to go to Hermione, he wanted to confess everything, tell her about the Death Eater ceremony, of the vows he had taken. He didn't want to be a hero. Hermione wouldn't let him be that. She'd just cut all ties, leave him despite the repercussions, do everything she could to get away from him. Could he live with those consequences?

It suddenly dawned on him that if he told Hermione the truth and she decided that she couldn't marry him then she faced being obliviated, or running away.

He had to keep the secret from her, for her.

That's what he'd tell himself.

That would make it okay.

Until she found out all on her own.

Draco's head was pounding so hard that he was surprised he was able to stand up. He made a hasty exit, telling them all that he had something important to do. The walk from the dungeons up to his room was the longest walk of his life. His head felt like it was going to explode and his stomach was in such a tumultuous state that he was sure he was going to embarrass himself and vomit in the hallway or on the stairs. He finally made it into the Common Room only to find her sitting in one of the chairs by the fire place, reading. As soon as she saw him her face creased in worry and, had he not been feeling so badly, he would have appreciated it, but as it stood it just made the guilt worse.

"Migraine," he muttered. Hurrying to his room, wanting nothing more than to lay down and fall into oblivion. He collapsed on his bed, relieved to have made it.

"Can I get you anything? I can go to Madame Pomfry for a potion if you'd like?" he heard her voice from his doorway.

Draco mumbled something that he hoped conveyed the fact that he would be okay. And then everything went black. Blissfully black. She'd cast a spell of darkness and already it had dulled the throbbing in his head by a small amount. Even opening his eyes there was nothing but all consuming darkness. He felt his shoes slip from his feet and then he had the vaguest sensation of floating and then softly landing back on his bed where his blanket wrapped around him. The last thing he remembered was something cold laying across his forehead and then he fell asleep.


	25. The Proposal

Draco woke up feeling much better than he had when he collapsed on his bed. His migraine had faded away and his stomach felt nothing but hungry. He laid in bed a few more minutes, looking into the pitch black darkness. He was a little bit touched by the concern that Hermione had shown for him earlier, even though he felt like he didn't deserve it. Not after he had spent the afternoon being praised for what he didn't want to be. He pushed those thoughts away, telling himself that obsessing about it didn't change it, and climbed out of bed, his bare feet hitting the wooden floor. With a flick of his wand he lit a candle and could see that his shoes were placed neatly by his door and he felt himself smile. Generally he just kicked them off and they landed where they may. Leave it to her to be neat and tidy. He went to the door and opened it hoping to find that she was still there.

Hermione was still sitting in the chair, right where he had found her earlier. He hoped that meant that he hadn't been asleep for very long. He absolutely hated sleeping the day away. She hadn't noticed him yet so he stood there for a few moments, watching her read, her eyes traveling quickly over the pages. She looked as if she was in deep concentration and he wondered what she was reading. He couldn't see the title from where he was standing. He found himself smiling at the fact that he _cared_ what she was reading. He was finding himself caring a lot about her lately. Finally Draco walked into the Common Room and shut his bedroom door, causing her to look up. When she saw him she smiled and he found himself returning it.

"Felling better?" she asked as she put her book down on the coffee table. '_Dreadful Denizens of the Deep_'. Of course she was reading something intellectual, it was Hermione Granger after all.

"Yeah, thanks," he said as he made his way over to the sofa and sat down. It was then that he noticed there was a plate of food and two cups of tea sitting in the middle of the table.

"I thought you might be hungry," she said looking evenly at him.

"Thanks," he mumbled, surprised again at her thoughtfulness. He wasn't used to people taking care of him. In fact, before becoming friends with her, he couldn't remember the last time that someone had attempted to take care of him, and before her he wouldn't have let them. He grabbed the plate, he was pretty hungry after all, and saw that it contained a piece of roast, two rolls, and a pile of vegetables for him. He grabbed his fork and took a bite, trying to put into words a better thank you than 'thanks'.

"How long have I been asleep?" he asked, grabbing a roll, happy to see that it was already buttered, and taking a huge bite. Maybe he'd have the opportunity to hug her later. Not that he was a particularly huggy person. Come to think of it he wasn't sure he had actually hugged anyone other than her. With others there had been embraces, sexual embraces, but never anything as simple as a hug. Again, the changes that she brought out in him continued to surprise him... and unnerve him.

"A little over three hours. I just got back from supper." There was a long pause and then she continued, "Did you drink alcohol this afternoon?"

The question caught Draco off guard and he accidentally dropped his fork. Why was she asking if he had been drinking? How did she know? Had she found out everything? The food began to rise in his stomach. No, of course she hadn't. If she had she wouldn't be sitting there so calmly. He weighed his options and was surprised to find himself only feeling as if he had one viable one.

"Yes, I did. Why do you ask?" he asked picking up his fork. Lying to her, while never seeming like a particularly bad option before, had felt wrong. He decided that since he was lying to her about something so huge, about not being a Death Eater, then the little stuff didn't matter all that much. She seemed quite shocked by his honesty, as if she had thought that she was going to have to force it out of him.

"Several of the Slytherins came to dinner intoxicated. I was just hoping that you hadn't been one of them. I don't have to tell you that it's against school policy. What were you doing?"

Draco felt the need to sigh and go back into his room. Disappointment was not exactly the thing that he wanted her to be feeling towards him right now. However, it was still better than horror and revulsion, so he figured that he could give her some sort of an explanation, one as close to the truth as he could get.

"Honestly," A small part of him thought that it was funny that he of all people would start a sentence that way. "I didn't want to drink, didn't even have very much, someone was passing around a bottle so I drank when it got to me. I can't really explain why I did it other than... it's something _I_ would do. It's something that Draco Malfoy does and I don't want to have to explain myself to them, so I just did it." Draco was finding himself feeling embarrassed. What he had just said, in not so many words, was that he had caved to peer pressure. If he was being honest with himself, and that seemed to be theme of the day, then he had spent a large part of his life doing just that, caving into peer pressure.

"I see."

Oh, that wasn't good. Two words, definitely was not a good sign. Draco continued to eat his food, despite the slight unsettled feeling in his stomach. He generally wasn't one to apologize for who he was and he felt like he was trying to do that. He didn't like it. But he did it for her. He didn't know why. He didn't know how. He just knew that there was something inside of him that was calling out to her and it made him want to be who he really was. While he finished his food she resumed her book and there were several minutes of silence.

When he was finished he leaned back against the sofa and looked at her. She was holding the book in front of her face so that all he could see of her was the top of her head. The silence was really starting to get to him.

"Are you angry with me?" he asked, looking at the cover of her book in lieu of her face. Merfolk were not the most attractive creatures.

"Should I be?" came the reply from behind the book.

"I didn't drink very much..."

There was the sound of the book slamming shut and then being tossed on the table where it landed with a loud thump. Draco looked at her and was surprised to see tears in her eyes.

"It's not about that. It's about _you_," she said angrily.

"What do you mean?" he asked. He wanted to understand why she was so suddenly upset. What did she mean it was him? What had he done to upset her so much? Broken rules? That was nothing new. She and her friends used to do it all the time. Granted it was generally for some great purpose. Still, he hadn't meant to upset her.

"When are you going to stop? When is it going to end? When are you going to stop being one of _them_, Draco?"

Draco was silent, he didn't know how to answer. He didn't think he could stop. What was he going to do? Alienate himself from the people that he had spent the last seven years growing up with? He didn't really like them, but as much as he hated to admit it, the other Slytherin were the only family he had ever known. It was hard to just turn that off. What would he do if his father found out? There were too many complications, it was best to just go along with the way things had always been. Even if he didn't like it.

"I'm not sure that I know how to _not _be one of them. For as long as I remember that's what, _who_, I'm supposed to be. I can't just turn that off. I'm doing the best I can." The last sentence came out softer than he would have liked and showed a vulnerability he wished it hadn't. He felt pulled in so many different directions. He was trying to balance his feelings for her with everything that he was. And that's what it boiled down to.

She had changed him.

If it wasn't for her he would have had everything he'd ever aspired to be. A Death Eater, trusted by his father, envied by his peers, the perfect Slytherin Prince. He had everything that, at one time, he had ever wanted. And it all meant nothing to him.

Because of her.

He wanted none of it.

Because of her.

Because he wanted to be something to her. He wondered if it was too late to climb back into bed and sleep the rest of the night away. It certainly was looking like the best solution to deal with his problems. So far nothing else had managed to help. He looked over at her and she was biting her lip in that way that she usually did when she was thinking hard about something. Her hair was tied back but several frizzy curls had rebelled and stuck out at odd angles and her brown eyes were regarding him thoughtfully. There was truly no one as beautiful.

She really made him feel like he was losing his mind sometimes.

"I'm terrified of marrying you. I guess sometimes... sometimes it's just easier to get upset over the little things than to think that things might be alright. That they might work out. I think sometimes I let it get to me more than I should. Anyway, how was practice today?"

They sat there talking for about an hour and Draco felt the stress fading from his body. His shoulders and back relaxed as they talked about Quidditch practice. She then talked about Ron winning some sort of chess tournament that the Gryffindor had put on earlier. Afterwards she went on about her book and for a good thirty minutes they discussed merfolk mysteries and entertained each other with stories that they'd heard over the years. Including one rumor about McGonagall falling head over heels with a Merman in her youth. So much so that her fifth year at Hogwarts she skipped the train home, intent on living in the lake for the summer. This thought made Hermione dissolve into a fit of giggles.

"Oh, I simply can not imagine McGongall swimming around the lake calling out for her Merman," Hermione said once she had caught her breath.

"It's true, every bit of it, passed down from Slytherin to Slytherin," Draco said, nearly bursting into laughter again. "There're stories about every Head of House, other than Snape, of course, being in love with some sort of random creature. Have you ever heard of Professor Sprout and the House Elf?" Draco asked causing Hermione to laugh so hard she couldn't breath again.

"Oh, that's horrible!" she said tossing a pillow at Draco, missing him by several inches. At the exact moment Hermione chose to yawn Draco picked the pillow up, launched it and hit her square in the face.

"That was entirely not fair," she said with indignity, but she was smiling.

"All's fair in love and war, Granger," he said with a grin.

"Then I shall surrender gracefully. I believe it's time for me to go to sleep, and you've got a game tomorrow so you should probably be going to bed soon also," she said standing up and picking up her book from where it had been tossed onto the table. Draco stood up as well. He didn't want the night to end. He'd had so much fun just talking to her and again he marveled at how... _happy_ she made him. There was no other way to really put it. Hermione Granger made him happy.

Before he could even really think before acting his hand reached out and grabbed hers.

"You could always sleep in my room tonight," he blurted out. He was both shocked at his audacity and proud at the same time. His motives for asking were simple. He wanted to be near her, he didn't want the night to end and with each of them going to their separate rooms that would happen. If she stayed with him then the night would continue on into the morning. It wasn't even a physical need that caused him to ask, although it was no use pretending that he didn't want her in that way, because he did. But an emotional need. A need to have her with him. To have her in a way that he'd never had any other woman, laying there side by side, simply for the company.

Perhaps he really was losing his mind.

* * *

"I could do _what_?" Hermione asked, not sure if she had heard him correctly. Had he really just suggest that she sleep in his bed, with him in it? She was surprised to find herself internally conflicted. Of course there was only one answer to that question and that was an absolute and inarguable, _no_. There was no other option, at least no other viable option. Surely she had heard him wrong? It didn't matter if she hadn't. She could not sleep with Draco Malfoy. No, no, no. Absolutely not.

"Sleep with me, in my room, in my bed."

Oh Merlin.

The way that he said the words made her wonder if she should so easily discount those rumors of veela in his heritage. In _my_ room, in _my_ bed. That thought made images flash through her head that she was sure she shouldn't be having. Then again was there any good reason why she shouldn't be having them? She was hard pressed to come up with a valid reason at the moment. After all, he _was_ her fiance. Of course that wasn't a good reason, he was her fiance against her will, because his father had manipulated them, because Voldemort surely had some master plan, horrible reason. Horrible, horrible, horrible, reason.

"Why?" she managed to ask, her mouth feeling unbelievably dry. Ginny had told her that she needed to do what made her happy. Would going with him do that? The thought didn't make her _unhappy_, it made her lots of things, but not unhappy. Yet, at the same time thoughts were a far cry from reality at times. Draco seemed to be struggling to come up with an answer and she wasn't sure whether that was a good thing or a bad thing. Hermione was aware of the feeling of her hand against his. The warmth that radiated from it and spread through her body.

"All we have to do is sleep. I just... I like you." Despite her caution Hermione had to smile at that. It wasn't really what he said, although it was nice to hear that he liked her, she already knew that. It was the vulnerability that she could hear. It had been hints of that vulnerability that had caused her to open up to him to begin with. That time in the Trophy Room when he'd had the nightmare, his desperation at not wanting to go home for Spring Break, even the way he smiled and laughed, these glimpses of humanity were what really made her feel something for him.

"Just sleeping?" Hermione asked hesitantly. She knew what she was going to do. Merlin help her but she was going to go with him. She wasn't sure that she could help herself. This whole relationship with him was so mysterious and unknown to her and she couldn't stand that. She needed to know. Know what they were to each other, where they were going. Trying to ignore it didn't change it. Perhaps it was time to stop looking apprehensively down the fog covered road and just follow it.

"I promise, just sleeping," he said, squeezing her hand.

Hermione hoped that she was reading him right. That he didn't have a grand plan to take advantage of her. Not that, and she hated to admit it, she wouldn't be a willing participant. Still, if he made her uncomfortable she'd stun him with a spell and leave. Lesson learned. There really was no harm.

No harm and her legs felt like jelly.

"Alright. I'll go change."

Hermione let go of his hand and then made her way to her room, shutting the door behind her. It was then she let out a loud burst of air. She hadn't even noticed that she was holding her breath. Her heart was beating loudly in her chest and she couldn't believe she had agreed to this. She went to her bureau and began digging through her pajamas trying to pick the most conservative thing she had. It was pretty hard as all of them were pretty conservative. She was almost tempted to wear one of her winter nightgowns with the long sleeves and the buttons up to her neck, but that was overkill. Instead she settled on a pair of red baggy pajama pants and a baggy t-shirt.

She mulled over the decision on whether or not to wear a bra and after two full minutes she decided propriety overruled comfort and she left hers on. Dressed in her pajamas she stood at her door almost afraid to open it. She wasn't sure what she was more afraid of... what would happen, or what wouldn't. Finally she opened the door. They were just going to sleep, there was nothing to be afraid of. She'd slept thousands of times before, this was no different. She'd even slept with him twice now, and those times had been harmless. This would be too. Taking a deep, determined breath, she walked across the Common Room and into Draco's bedroom.

His room was an exact replica of hers, with the exception of the color scheme. He was a little bit less organized than her but his room couldn't be classified as messy. He was sitting on the left side of his bed, clad in silken green pajamas. He looked as nervous as she felt and the thought that he was nervous to have her in his room, soon to be in her bed, was so silly that it made her smile. She felt a little of the apprehension fade away.

Hermione pulled back the blanket on the right side of the bed and climbed in. She was engulfed in the smell of him and it made her close her eyes as a feeling of happiness washed over her. Was this how it could be if they got married? Would this shy, yet eager, happiness follow them? She wasn't sure that she could stand it if it didn't. She wanted things to be like this. Just like this. She felt him move as he extinguished the candles and got under the blanket as well. They then laid there, side by side, not touching, with at least a foot separating them.

Hermione wondered if he was going to "make his move", in fact if he had any moves at all to make. Was he simply enjoying the fact that she was near him, as she was doing? Or did he want more? Want more like she wanted more?

"This is much more comfortable than the trophy room floor," she offered up trying to break the silence. It wasn't necessarily that it was an uncomfortable silence, it wasn't, she just wanted to hear his voice. All thoughts of sleep had flown from her head and she had a feeling that she might be awake for awhile. It was hard to think of sleeping when there were so many other things to think about. Like how close his body was to hers, how just the thought of kissing him made her insides fill up with an almost delicious kind of fear.

"Much better than the floor. Hopefully I won't have to put a pillow over your head to be able to put up with the snoring," he said teasingly.

"I do _not_ snore!" she said reaching across the space between them and playfully punching him on the shoulder.

"Will you marry me?"

"What?" Hermione rolled over on her side so that she could look at him all thoughts of laughter and kissing vanishing. It was still dark but her eyes had adjusted to the darkness and there was a spare bit of moonlight coming through the window. Had he really just _proposed_ to her? She had expected a lot of things when she came into his bed. A proposal certainly hadn't been one of them.

"The whole reason that we're in this situation is because of my father. He orchestrated this whole thing and while I wish he hadn't decided to play God with our lives it's honestly... I think... I think maybe.... it was the best thing that he ever did for me. I know that you hate all of this but I want you to know that I don't want to make any of this difficult and I'll try to do what I can to make you happy. I just thought that the proposal needed to come from me. So I'm asking. Will you marry me?"

Hermione felt tears spring to her eyes and tried her best to keep them from falling. Did he really see her as the best thing that had ever happened to him? That thought made her insides melt. Over the last few weeks she had to admit that things weren't as bad as she had anticipated that they would be. They were actually kind of pleasant, really pleasant, at least when the two of them weren't quarreling. 'Like an old married couple,' she thought to herself.

She was touched that he felt the need to propose to her personally. It was much better than having to read it off of a piece of paper. And like this, in the darkness, while they were in bed together after spending the evening together talking about _Dreadful Denizens of the Dee__p. _Well, while it wasn't her perfect fantasy it came pretty close. She suddenly realized how much she _needed_ this. She wasn't sure what to say. Would she marry him? Yes, she had no choice. But there was the deeper question. Did she want to marry him?

"Yes, I'll marry you," she said feeling silly for saying it. It was strange hearing those words coming out of her mouth. She had never imagined that the circumstances would be like this, or with him, but it felt right. She knew that there were so many, many, many, things that were wrong with the whole situation but it felt good to be there with him. It felt nice to be touched by him, it felt amazing to be kissed by him, and if things could stay that way forever then how could she not want to be with him?

She just hoped forever lasted as long as she wanted it to.

Slowly, ever so slowly, he moved closer to her, and she was sure that her heart stopped beating as she felt his arm wrap around her. Her head was resting on his shoulder and he was so close, so wonderfully, wonderfully close. He was so warm and soft and Hermione closed her eyes drinking it all in. Again she wondered how anything could possibly feel this good. Deep down she knew that it couldn't last. It wouldn't last.

All of the problems that daily plagued her, thoughts of Harry and Ron, Death Eaters, Lucius, Voldemort, she pushed it all to the background as she laid there with him. Feeling his chest raise and fall as he breathed, she was almost certain that if she listened hard enough she could hear his heart beating. Heart. Her mind shied away from that. She didn't want to think about his heart, or her heart, or love. Her inner self was not ready for a conversation like that.

Hermione made her mind move onto other things and as she drifted off to sleep she thought about the story that Draco had told her about Professor McGonagall and her love of the Merman.

Somehow now it didn't seem so silly.

* * *

Reading + Reviewing = Love


	26. The Next Morning

Draco was loathe to get out of bed. Right now he would be completely content to miss the entirety of the Quidditch game just to stay here in his bed, with her. Having her there made it so easy to just_ breathe_. He felt like weights and burdens were slowly crumbling around him. He had something good to concentrate on. He could stop himself from worrying about the future and all of the choices and decisions that had to be made. He could simply lay there and think about the softness of her hair, the warmth of her body. The adorable little way she snored. All of these things and a hundred others that were just as pleasant.

He was completely infatuated. He had never been like this with anyone else before. Ever. Didn't even think he had the capacity to care about such little meaningless things, but he did, and he relished it. He smiled to himself, they were spooning. He, Draco Malfoy, was actually _spooning_. Again he felt a smile blossom across his face and he buried his face against her neck. Everything about her was so beautiful. Infatuated indeed.

Draco was still amazed that she had actually relented to following him into his room. Those minutes he had waited for her while she changed had been full of the certainty that she wasn't going to show up. Then there she was, looking as nervous as he felt, climbing into his bed. That first minute had been awkward and then they'd easily started talking and it was, as stupid as he felt thinking it, perfect. What ever impulse had made him reach out for her hand and ask her to come with him, he was thankful for it.

When he had woken up a few minutes ago he had expected it all to be a dream, hadn't really expected her to still be there. Yet here she was, and he was thinking that he could get used to this. Just the thought of getting used to this made all the concerns and worries come flooding back. He needed to find a way to keep things just as they were. Summer vacation was two short months away and as each day ticked by he felt himself wishing he could stop time and just live in the moment with her, like this.

Although the fact remained that he probably had to be getting up soon because, although he wouldn't mind spending the morning and better part of the afternoon with her, there were several Slytherins who would not be happy with that plan. Still, he had a few more minutes and he intended to enjoy them.

"Hermione?" he said softly next to her ear.

"Hmm?" came the sleepy reply.

"I have to get up and get ready for the game soon. It's getting late." She groaned and Draco felt a smile blossom across his face. It must be a record. He couldn't remember a time when he had been so content in the moment, when he had smiled so much.

"Do you have to?" she asked rolling over so that she could look at him. Her hair was a complete mess, it gathered in thick masses around her face and all he wanted was to tangle his fingers in her hair and pull her close, kiss her, touch her all over. That was definitely not productive to getting dressed, and if he was really honest with himself it probably wasn't good for their relationship. He remembered the other night when she had kissed him and what it had almost led to. He didn't want to make her feel conflicted.

"What are you thinking?" asked Hermione, her brown eyes inquisitive touched with lingering sleepiness, as she rested her chin on her hand.

"That you should come shower with me," he said playfully and was rewarded when her eyebrows shot up and her mouth formed a little 'o' of surprise.

"I'm kidding. I was just thinking that I like this," he said seriously. He wasn't going to tell her how much, wasn't ever going to say out loud to anyone how much he liked it. The smile on her face was contagious and again he resisted the urge to just lean down and kiss her. He climbed out of bed, grabbed his clothes, and then headed to the shower, leaving her laying in his bed.

He wondered what she was thinking as she was laying there. It seemed like she was in a good mood and that she had liked being close to him. Hopefully they could talk about it later. He would have to find some way to suggest that they make it a permanent arrangement. It was strange that he should feel that way. He had always been fiercely protective of his personal space. He didn't like feeling smothered, he enjoyed his time alone, but it seemed like the longer he was away from Slytherin the more he was changing. He'd been with several girls and he had never allowed them to stay the night. It had never occurred to him to offer and he knew why. None of those girls had been her.

Draco finished showering and he was hoping that she'd still be laying in his bed when he got out. There was something… adorable, Merlin, he was using the word _adorable_, about her curled up in his blankets. Unfortunately, by the time he was finished she was gone, so with a sigh he headed down to the Great Hall to grab a muffin or two he could eat on his way to the Quidditch Pitch.

Half an hour later, found him dressed in his green and silver robes, broom in hand, ready to make his way out on the Pitch. He was surprisingly nervous. He wondered if Hermione was going to be out there. He knew that she didn't care for Quidditch but he still wondered if he'd have an audience. He supposed it didn't matter if she was or not. They had practiced hard and as far as he was concerned they had this game won.

Ravenclaw played with strategies and while that made them efficient it also made them pretty predictable. The Ravenclaw Seeker would stay near the middle of the pitch, flying in a grid like pattern for the Snitch. Draco's approach was a little more straight forward than that. He didn't wait for the Snitch to go to him, he went out in search for it.

They made their way out on the field and the sound of the crowd exhilarated him. He jumped on his broom, kicked off, and the game had begun. Thirty minutes later they were down by twenty points. That was actually to be expected and largely Crabbe and Goyle's fault. It generally took a good ten minutes for them to get in the swing of things but at the moment they seemed to be in control. One of the Slytherin Chasers also had the Quaffle and was close to scoring. Draco had been trying hard not to look at the crowd, not to search for her, mind on the game. He wasn't sure he had ever been this distracted. As if to punctuate his thoughts a Bludger whizzed by his face

Twenty minutes later Draco was getting anxious. It was a close game but Slytherin was now ahead by thirty points and Draco wanted to end the game. The minutes ticked by and suddenly he saw something out of the corner of his eye. He swung his broom around fast, trying not to give the Ravenclaw Seeker an advantage. His broom flew through the air as he could see the Snitch right in front of him. His hands reached out, the tips of his fingers feeling the wind coming off its tiny wings. He reached just a little further and then he had it. His fingers wrapped around it and he pulled his broom up as the crowd cheered/booed as he held up the tiny golden ball for all to see. Another victory, thanks to his brilliant skills.

He really hoped she had been there to see it.

Draco had just changed out of his Quidditch robes and into his regular clothing, when Nott came up and slapped him on the back. "Good one, Malfoy. Are you coming back to the Dungeons to celebrate? We managed to get some good drink this time, none of that homemade stuff."

"I don't think I can," Draco said trying to sound as if he had something unbelievably important to do now. One of the very last things he wanted was go back to the Dungeons. So far it had been a good day and he had no desire to do something to ruin it. The thought of sitting there listening to the hate filled speeches, reminded of ones he used to make, it twisted his stomach in knots. It was harder and harder for him to be this person that all of the Slytherins had grown up with and looked up to. He tried his hardest to forget what had happened on Spring break, to push it so far out of his mind that it barely existed. Being around all of them, especially since they now knew, made that all but impossible.

"Why not?" the other Slytherin asked.

"Because I can't," was Draco's response as he grabbed his things and left. Nott probably wouldn't be too concerned about his behavior, Draco was infamous for his bad moods. He had to keep reminding himself to be careful how he acted towards them. He hated to constantly have to mediate between what was expected of him to do and what he wanted to do. Maybe one day they'd coincide. He was walking back to the Castle when he saw someone clad in black, gold, and scarlet, he was very disappointed to note their red hair, coming towards him. She finally caught up with him.

"Hello," the youngest Weasley said politely.

"Hello," Draco said, trying to not let it sound like a question. He was rather confused about why she was coming up to _him_ of all people.

"That was a good game, Malfoy," Ginny said. Draco raised one of his perfectly sculpted eyebrows. A compliment from a Weasley? He had a feeling that this was going to be one interesting conversation. He didn't respond but instead looked at her waiting for her to get to the point. There was no love lost between him and her, or any one of her siblings, so he couldn't say he was looking forward to this.

"How do you feel about Hermione?"

Well, that was definitely to the point. Draco stood there for a moment studying her. He didn't know what to say, and even if he did, she was on his list of people he'd rather not say it to. It seemed to him that she was going to stand there until he did indeed give her an answer.

"I like her." That was the easiest way for him to put it into words. Everything else just lead to so many questions that he barely had the ability to answer or understand them himself, let alone expect someone else to.

"You like her?" The way she said it made him feel like she didn't think his answer was good enough. For some reason that bothered him. It bothered him a lot actually. This Weasley did not matter to him, he had never cared what any of them thought about him. He disliked them and they disliked him. However, he found her thoughts about him, about his feelings for Hermione, mattering and it wasn't hard to figure out why. This Weasley meant something to Hermione, which meant, in some odd abstract way, she had to, by default, mean something to him.

"I've never liked anyone but her." It was the truth. There had been lust, physical attraction, but there had never been what he felt for Hermione. The strange camaraderie, the tentative friendship, all of the other nameless things that went on between them.

The Weasley was looking at him strangely and Draco had the feeling that his answer was deemed good enough, at least for now.

"Hermione is one of my best friends. I just want her to be happy." With that said, she spun around and walked away. Draco watched her, thinking. Strangely enough he mirrored her thoughts.

He wanted her to be happy too.

* * *

Hermione followed Ron and Harry back to the Gryffindor Common Room after the Quidditch game. It felt good to be around them but things had changed. She couldn't stop herself from smiling, and it made her feel like she was keeping things from them. Her secret source of happiness that was so terribly confusing. Waking up next to Draco, his arms wrapped around her… she had never felt so comforted. The strange thing was how easily she accepted it. There was no hesitation, there had been no awkwardness, it just was… and it was nice.

As they entered the Common Room Hermione was happy to see that it wasn't full of students. Ever since she had moved out she felt like she was always under scrutiny, as if she wasn't fully trusted. She was sure that there were rumors that she was under a curse, that she had been manipulated, that she was a spy. It didn't bother her anymore but she enjoyed spending time with her friends without the distraction and the whispers.

Hermione wondered what Draco was doing. She had enjoyed watching the game, which was not all that surprising. She enjoyed watching Harry and Ron play, she had just never imagined that the interest would extend to Draco. It had been hard to hold in her excitement when he had caught the Snitch. The moment Harry had seen him going for it he'd groaned, but Hermione had been secretly proud of him and while she hid it well she had a feeling her friends knew.

"Hermione?" Hermione looked up to see Harry staring at her intently but it was Ron who had spoken.

"Yes?" she asked turning to Ron.

"Would you mind looking over my Potions homework real quick?" Ron asked with a sheepish grin. Hermione happily agreed. Sometimes it was nice to feel like things were back to normal. Even though right now, the abnormal wasn't too bad.

Hermione happily spent the rest of the day with Harry, Ron, and Ginny who showed up a few minutes later. Hermione looked over Ron's homework, and then Harry's, helped them correct a few minor details, and then they headed to the Great Hall for lunch. Hermione made the calculated decision to sit with her back to the Slytherin table. She wanted to see him but at the same time she realized how that would effect her friends. Hermione had tried talking to Harry about the kiss and while he hadn't condemned her, she knew that he disapproved and she didn't blame him. The hate between he and Draco ran too deep. She knew, that they would never be anything more than enemies. She tried not to let that trouble her, but it did. She wanted to be able to change their minds, to sway them, to convince them to see Draco the way she did.

That would never happen, they would refuse to see and she had no doubt that Draco would refuse to show them. She reminded herself to ask Draco about how his hatred for Harry how started. It was strange but she had never questioned his reasons. It just had always seemed natural for them to hate each other. Either way, she was finding it impossible to believe that if they caught one look that passed between she and Draco that they would know everything. It was hard to stop herself from telling them how well they were getting along. She knew without a shadow of doubt that both Harry and Ron wanted her to be happy, just not with Draco. Hermione couldn't face the thought of telling them so she stayed quiet and contented herself with the fact that she _was_ happy.

With lunch finished Hermione and her friends went back up to the Common Room. On their way out Hermione noticed the Slytherins were louder and more talkative than usual, the older ones in particular. She was sure that it could be attributed to their win, but she had a sneaking suspicion that there had been alcoholic drinks passed around after the game. It bothered because it was breaking the rules, rules that were made, and were to be upheld for a reason, but the deeper reason was that she didn't want Draco put into those positions anymore. Their talk last night had been… revealing, and honestly, worrying.

The one thing that she was most afraid of was that he would cave to the pressure and eventually become a Death Eater. She had faith in him that he wouldn't, but the thought was still there, as much as she tried to suppress it. If he followed that path not only would it be a betrayal to her, but one to himself. He wasn't that person, she knew that with everthing that she was, even if it was something he still struggled with. When he did things like drink with them when he didn't want to, it made her wonder if maybe he'd never have the courage to leave all of that behind. Maybe not wanting to do it wasn't enough to stop him from doing it anyway.

She had faith in him, she had to. If she stopped then there was no way the situation could work, so that's what she would do. Pretend that if she never abandoned her faith in him then neither would he.

Hours later darkness had fallen and, as they had class in the morning, Hermione decided that she ought to call it a night. It was a bit earlier than she would have normally left but she wanted to talk with Draco. It was something that she had actually been looking forward to all day. Ron and Harry were sad to see her go and she knew they were both still bitter over her living arrangements. She couldn't say she blamed them, she still had her moments, yet after last night she ahd a feeling those moments might be few and far between. Ginny decided to walk her to her quarters which made Hermione wonder what she was up to. She soon found out.

"I talked to Draco this morning," Ginny said casually as they walked through the hallway.

"Really?" Hermione asked surprised. That was a conversation she would have been very interested to hear. She strangely couldn't imagine Draco and Ginny having a civil conversation and she worried for a moment that maybe it hadn't been one. Old habits died hard, and that particularly applied to Draco.

"He likes you." Another surprise, albeit a pleasant one. She felt her face turning red in response to the simple comment.

"He said that?" Hermione asked finding it hard to believe. It was one thing for him to say it to her, but to say it to an outside party, one so far from his inner circle, not that she was sure he even had an inner circle anymore, it was… disconcerting.

"He said that. I think he meant it. Since you don't have any big brothers I was taking on the role for you. Wanted to make sure he's going to treat you right, since he might be your husband in a few months."

Hermione sometimes forgot the reality of the situation. Sometimes it all seemed like a game, like they were playing pretend with each other, but Ginny was right, in a few months she might, she would, marry him.

They were already at the portrait to her room so Hermione thanked her stand-in big brother and wished her a good night. When she walked into their Common room she found Draco sitting on the sofa, all of his attention on her. She suddenly felt shy as she walked deeper inside and sat in her favorite big, comfortable, arm chair.

"You played well today. I was internally cheering for you," Hermione said with a smile.

"I was wondering if you came," he said, looking both surprised and delighted. There used to be a time when he kept his emotions so guarded. She wondered the exact point in time when that had changed between them. "I enjoy demonstrating my prowess on the field," he said smugly, as he leaned back into the sofa looking quite proud of himself.

"Prowess? It looked like you sitting on a broom for nearly an hour. I wouldn't imagine that takes a whole lot of skill," she said cheekily. Hermione failed to mention that the thought of sitting in a broom for a whole hour was not something she would easily be able to do.

"Perhaps you'd like a more intimate demonstration of my skills?" he asked in that smooth, seductive way of his.

Hermione couldn't help herself, she started laughing and it took her more than a minute for the giggles to stop. Sometimes, he was just so adorable. The thought of his reaction if she were to tell him just that was enough to make her start laughing again. He seemed to catch on pretty quickly to the source of her laughter.

"I find you unworthy of my skills," he said in a pouty sort of way that made her giggles return. They spent a good twenty minutes telling one another about their day. Hermione was pleased to learn that Draco hadn't been anywhere near the Slytherin Common Room all day. He didn't mention the conversation with Ginny but then she hadn't really expected him to. She was sure that it had been embarrassing enough the first time around, she wasn't going to make him relive the embarrassment of admitting that he was actually fond of her.

The minutes ticked by and before she knew it she yawned and blinked heavily. She looked up at the clock, it was time that she get to bed. The last few days it had been nice to sleep in, incredibly nice this morning, but she did have to be up early, as usual, and sleep was important. She was wondering if he was going to suggest that she sleep in his bed again. Maybe it had been a one time thing? Or perhaps a weekend thing? Or maybe it was a random thing? Hermione was sure that regular relationships were complicated, what she had with Draco sometimes just felt like insanity.

"I suppose I should be heading to bed now," Hermione threw out there. She really wanted to suggest that they continue the trend they had started last night but she was too nervous and the witty part of her brain was having trouble coming up with something that didn't sound as nervous as she felt.

"What time should I set the alarm for?" he said nonchalantly as he stood up. Hermione had to smile at his effortlessness. Leave it to him to come up with a way to make it look easy.

"How's half-past-six?"

"Half-past-six is good."

* * *

Sorry for the very long delay in getting this one out. I seem to have gotten over the writers block (at least for now). As always Read, review, and I'll love you forever.


	27. The Dark Mark

Hermione could feel his body so close to hers. She was laying on her side, facing him, with her arm thrown over his chest, her hand resting against his side. Her head was resting on his shoulder and his hand was touching her side. She liked it like this, liked the darkness that hid them from each other. She couldn't imagine herself being this affectionate with him if she could actually see him. It seemed… safer this way. She could hear the steady pounding of his heart and she smiled. She liked the sound it made. It reminded her that he was real.

"I want to kiss you." His words lingered in the darkness, echoing her thoughts. Ever since the kiss that they'd shared in their Common Room she had been wanting to do it again. She swallowed hard, almost wanting to pretend that she had fallen asleep.

"Then kiss me," she whispered. She felt his free hand on her wrist and she suppressed a shiver as he made his way up her arm to her shoulder, then her neck. The feeling of his hand on her neck had her closing her eyes, savoring the feeling of his soft skin against hers. His hand touched her cheek, tipping her face up to his. Her eyes remained closed in breathless anticipation. Slowly, so very slowly, she felt his lips brush hers. She had that familiar thrill of fear, and excitement, and other countless emotions.

Hermione's lips parted, welcoming the deepening of the kiss. As if by it's own volition, her hand slipped under his shirt, touching his skin. His skin was soft, softer than she had expected. She felt like she was falling and she couldn't stop herself. She loved the way he kissed her, the way he touched her. She suddenly understood what she had been missing out on. Why everyone was doing this. She gasped as his lips found her neck and he planted soft kisses along her skin. His hand was up her shirt and slowly inching up her body to her breasts. In a very distant, far away, part of her mind Hermione knew that she should stop things before they truly got out of hand. However, a little voice kept reminding her that this was her soon so be husband, and getting to know him, in this way, wasn't a bad thing.

Their kisses intensified and Hermione couldn't stop thinking what an amazing kisser he was. The feeling of his lips had her gasping for breath, exhilaration coursing through her body. She never dreamed that it could be like this. Their bodies shifted and suddenly he was on top of her. Her hands were underneath his shirt, roaming his back as their bodies pressed against each other. She was frustrated by the layers of clothes between them. Surprised at her own bravery she reached for the hem of his shirt and pushed it upwards. He finished the work by pulling it up over his shoulders and casting it aside. She reached up ran her fingers over his chest, trying to push back the nervousness. She wanted this, she wanted him. For the first time in her life she was going to throw caution to the wind. Over the past few weeks things had changed, he had changed her. She no longer just wanted to find a way to be content with their situation. She was going to find a way to be happy.

Suddenly the kissing stopped, and Hermione looked up into the darkness, trying to see his face, wondering why he had stopped.

"What?" she asked hesitantly, wondering if there was something that she wasn't doing right. Wondering if maybe he had decided he didn't want her after all.

"I just wanted to tell you that I love you."

_"What?!"_

* * *

Hermione shot up in bed as the last tendrils of sleep faded from her. It took her a moment to catch her bearings and realize that she had been dreaming. Her heart was beating fast and her mouth felt incredibly dry.

"What's wrong?" Draco asked sleepily from where he was still lying beside her.

Hermione felt her face go red in the darkness. The dream had felt so real, she could still feel his lips on hers, the way his skin had felt beneath her finger tips. So real. "It was nothing, just a bad dream," she said as she laid back down next to him. The _last_ thing in the world that she wanted was for Draco to be in love with her. She could deal with lust, with affection, with things that she understood on some level. Being in love was something that she didn't think she could fathom, not right now, not from him.

"What about?" he asked, his voice sounding less asleep and she felt bad for having woken him.

"It was nothing. Sorry I woke you."

"I don't mind. It's kind of nice waking up and still having you here."

Hermione decided that for saying something so sweet he must still be half asleep after all. With a smile Hermione rolled over so that she was laying on her stomach and she fell into an uneasy sleep, the thought of Draco's kisses still on her mind.

A few hours later had her waking up as Draco's alarm clock blared in her ears. Draco reached over and shut it off and then he sat up with a yawn. Hermione also sat up and she looked at Draco. She had to admit that she felt a little awkward. It was strange waking up with him, not bad strange, but completely out of her realm of experience.

"Good morning," Hermione said as she suppressed a yawn herself.

"I don't know how you wake up this early," Draco said with a wry smile.

"Years of practice. I suppose I'm going to go shower now. Are you going back to bed?" Hermione asked curiously. Her mind wandered back to the dream and she wondered if something had changed in the way that she looked at him. If he knew what she had been dreaming. He seemed pretty oblivious and she was happy for that.

"Unless you'd like to invite me along to shower, then yes, back to sleep."

Hermione picked up her pillow and playfully hit him on the head with it. "Enjoy the extra sleep," she said climbing out of bed and heading towards the bathroom.

Her dream was still disturbing her on more than one level. Arousal was something that she didn't feel on a regular basis. In fact, since moving in with Draco she wasn't sure she had ever felt this way, and if she had it had been easily dismissed. How did one deal with these things? The better question is how did one talk about them? The obvious confidant was Ginny but Hermione wasn't sure she could broach the subject so that left one person… Draco.

The thought made her giggle as she stepped into the warm water of the shower. If she told Draco about how she was feeling he would probably pull her into bed at that very moment and ravage her. Which would admittedly be nice, but it wouldn't help her figure out anything. Despite her plans of going with the flow, and following her heart, as Ginny suggested, she _was_ Hermione Granger, and over-analyzing things was her forte. It was incredibly hard to get out of that habit.

With her showering done, she stood in front of the mirror and brushed her teeth and then began to brush out her hair. Once that was done she held her clothes in one hand and her towel in the other as she made it to her room to get dressed. A few minutes later she was fully dressed and ready to organize her homework. She sat down at her desk and made sure all of her work was in order and then she decided she ought to get down to Great Hall to see Harry and Ron, eat breakfast, and then make her way to class. Her first class of the day was Arithmancy which made her happy.

Hermione gathered all of her books together and made her way out to she and Draco's Common Room just in time to see him coming out of his room intent on a shower himself. They stopped a few feet in front of one another and Hermione didn't quite know what to say to him in the light of morning.

"I suppose I'll see you in Potions later?" she said, not looking him in the eyes. She hated how nervous she got around him at times. Most of the time things were easy around him, but then there were the moments when her stomach was tied in knots. It almost felt like he could read all of her thoughts as plainly as if she had written them on her forehead.

"I look forward to it." There was a short pause. "Hermione?"

She looked up at him expectantly as he took a step toward her. For a second she thought he was going to kiss her and then just like that his face changed and it was gone, leaving her confused. "Yes?" she prompted.

"Nothing, it was nothing. I'll see you later." He disappeared into the bathroom and Hermione looked at the closed door, perplexed. There was something that was on his mind and sooner or later she was going to find out what it was.

Hermione made it down to the Great Hall just as Ron and Harry got there. They took their usual seats together and spent a few moments pouring drinks and piling food onto their plates and into their bowls. Hermione opted for a glass of orange juice and big steaming bowl of oatmeal with fresh strawberries.

She listened to Harry and Ron talk through mouthfuls of food about Quidditch, when Ginny arrived. She sat next to Harry and across from Hermione and Hermione was happy to have someone to talk to. At least someone that didn't want to talk about Quidditch all of the time.

Once breakfast was over Hermione watched as Ginny and Harry left the table together, deep in almost the identical conversation Harry had been having with Ron earlier. Hermione shook her head, she was never going to understand the appeal of riding around on broomsticks, throwing, dodging, and catching balls. Even if it was a little exciting when Draco did it.

"Can I walk you to class, Hermione?" Ron asked, gathering his things and standing up.

"Uhm, sure," Hermione said doing the same. Ron wasn't taking Arithmancy this term and it was quite out of his way but she couldn't deny that she would appreciate the company. They walked together lost in idle chatter when Ron asked her a question she didn't quite know how to answer.

"How's he treating you?"

Hermione glanced up at Ron trying to decide what to say and how to say it. Ever since the conversation about her virginity, Hermione blushed to even think about it, Ron had been pretty quiet about the topic of Draco. He hadn't approved of him flirting with her in Potions last week, but other than that he was unusually quiet about the whole topic. Hermione didn't want to hurt his feelings but she didn't want to lie either.

"Things are tolerable. It's not as bad as I first thought it would be." Nothing but truth there. Things were tolerable. The kisses were tolerable, the sleeping side by side was tolerable, the long talks were tolerable. Tolerable was quite the understatement but it still held the truth.

Hermione remembered how devastated she had been when she'd found out about the entire marriage thing. It seemed like it had happened ages and ages ago. Things had definitely changed for the better.

"I still don't like all of this Hermione. I - I've been writing letters to the Ministry every week, ya know, in protest to the law," he said looking away from her. "It's not just for you," he said hurriedly. "If the law stays in place once I graduate I'll have to get married too. It would just be nice to be able to pick who we want to marry." He gave her a look so fierce it was hard for her not to comprehend his meaning.

Hermione couldn't believe that Ron was actually being proactive and working towards changing a law, that in itself shocked her. That the undertone of his words made her think that he wanted her was equally shocking, but the thought of the law being appealed made her feel so conflicted it surprised her more than anything. If the law suddenly didn't exist would she still marry Draco? Of course not. The whole idea was silly. Yes, he had proposed but it wasn't real, not really. It had just been a more personal alternative to the contract. Still, the thought of giving up what she had with Draco made a hollow feeling in her stomach appear.

Despite how she desperately sometimes wished that things could go back to being normal the thought of sleeping in her old dorm without Draco there made her unhappy. Of not having the time to talk to him about mermen and history, made her unhappy. The whole idea of it made her unhappy.

"Thanks, Ron," she forced out. "Hopefully things will work out," she said ambiguously. They had reached her classroom and Hermione was glad that this conversation was over.

"I'll see you at lunch then," he said giving her one of his adorable lopsided smiles before he disappeared down the hall.

Hermione spent most of the class being distracted by the thought of what it would be like if the law was appealed. They weren't happy thoughts. The thing that bothered her the most was not the loss of the possibilities of kisses, and being in bed together, it was her worry for Draco. She didn't want him to go back to being his old self. To being an instrument of his father, to be the Slytherin Prince. Most of all she'd miss the loss of someone that had become her friend.

* * *

Draco leaned against the bathroom door, breathing hard. He looked down at his inner forearm feeling like he was going to have a panic attack. One minute he had been looking at Hermione, intent on kissing her, just because it was something he wanted to do, and then suddenly an intense throbbing had started, coming from the place where his Dark Mark would be, once he finished the final initiation ceremony.

Draco didn't know what it meant. He wasn't even sure this was supposed to be happening and there was no one he could ask. That wasn't entirely true, Snape would be able to explain it to him, but Draco didn't want to have that discussion. He didn't want to think about this at all.

As the moments passed that was becoming harder not to do. The throbbing had subsided a little but it was still there. Draco closed his eyes willing it to go away. It was surprising how easy it had become to block out everything associated with being a Death Eater. Most of the time he was half convinced that it was a dream, that is until one of his fellow Slytherins mentioned it. Still, he pretended that it wasn't real.

It was becoming all too real and honestly, he was scared.

Most times, Draco forgot what his father had told him after his Death Eater ceremony.

"_Make her fall in love with you."_

Guilt was gnawing at his stomach as the reality of everything came crashing down and started to overwhelm him. He was a Death Eater. He was supposed to make Hermione fall in love with him to achieve some sinister purpose, to please his father and He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. The most horrible thing about it all was that he was doing it.

He couldn't say that Hermione was in love with him, he didn't think it had reached that extent, wasn't sure that it ever would, but it was obvious she liked him. Despite his motives he was doing exactly what they wanted and that terrified him. He wasn't distancing himself, he hadn't worked to make her despise him. He had done the opposite. He had showed her sides of him that not even he knew had existed. He had showed her vulnerability, weakness, things that he would have died rather than reveal to anyone a year ago.

He was doing it because he wanted to, because he needed to, because when it came to her there was no choice. She got under his skin and she extracted all of the things in him that were hidden away from everyone else. She made him want to fight against everything that he had ever been taught by his father.

Draco had made the decision not to hurt her, to chose her above all else. He didn't know if he was strong enough, or brave enough, to do that but it had been his decision. At one point he had been faced with the mentality that he either did what his father said or he died. It had been easy to make the choice back then.

It wasn't easy now. There were other options. Hermione had tried to teach him that. It was a hard lesson to learn but it was getting through his head. He was going to find some way to get them out of this, some way to protect her from his father once they were married. Draco was intelligent, he was sneaky, he was sly, he was manipulative, all things that would help him protect her from his father.

That had been the plan, and then there were moments like this that sent him into a panic and he wasn't sure he could do it. He didn't think that he was sly enough, or smart enough, to keep her safe and stop all of this from hurting her. A dream that he'd had weeks ago came back to him. The vision of her laying on the floor in a pool of her blood.

It would never come to that.

He'd never let it.

Pushing the throbbing of his arm to the back of his mind. Holding that image of her in his head, vowing to never let it happen, helped him push away the doubts. No matter what happened, no matter what he had to do, he wasn't going to let her get hurt. He couldn't be a coward anymore.

A little while later found him in the Great Hall unable to eat as he stared, disinterested, at his plate of food. He was still lost in thought, trying not to worry, trying not to panic. Despite his resolve to stick to a course of action, a "noble" course of action, there were a hundred voices from his childhood telling him to make his father proud. To do something that would make him a hero to the followers of the Dark Lord. He blocked those voices out.

He looked over at the Gryffindor table, to the person that he was fighting for. She was just leaving, walking close to Weasley, smiling and talking and he felt his stomach churn. Seeing them together made him jealous and he knew why. If this marriage law didn't exist she wouldn't be with him. They were victims of circumstance and he knew without a shadow of doubt that if the law disappeared tomorrow she'd go back to her life without him.

It strengthened his resolve to not tell her about being a Death Eater. Sometimes he wanted to believe that she would understand, that she would help him, but he knew the truth. If he told her it would sever every tie between them and he couldn't let that happen. This lie was the only thing holding them together and as much as he hated to admit it he couldn't let her go. It would solve all of his problems if he did.

She'd hate him, might even leave him despite the consequences, and then it wouldn't matter what the Dark Lord and his father wanted because he wouldn't be able to do it. He'd be free of the inner conflict, this battle inside of him would be over and things would be simple again. He'd be alone, he'd be without the smell of her, the talks with her, her kisses, he'd be devoid of the only good thing that had ever happened to him.

He was too selfish to let that happen. He didn't just want her anymore, he _needed_ her.

Later in the afternoon, Draco walked into Potions and sat down in his usual seat. They weren't paired together today so Hermione was sitting on the opposite side of the room. Draco couldn't even bring himself to look at her. The throbbing of his arm was still ever present and try as he might he couldn't get it out of his mind. It faded into the background at times but it was always there, like a headache that wouldn't go away.

Draco listened to Snape drone on and on about Intertwined Potions. The general idea was to find a way to combine two different potions into one that would produce the same results as the two separate potions. It wasn't as easy as mixing together two potions because that usually produced very bad, and quite unpredictable results, however there were certain buffer ingredients that could be added to make sure the two potions interacted well together. Their assignment was to chose two different potions that complimented each other, such as Snape's example of the Pepperup Potion and an Anti-sneezing Draught and concoct a recipe that would allow the potions to mix with positive results. They had until the end of the week to come up with a recipe and Draco was looking forward to it. He needed a distraction.

Before he knew it, class was over and the students rushed out, as it was the end of the day. Draco however stuck around, taking an extra long time to gather his things. Once the last student had left he picked up his things and walked up to Snape, who was sitting at his desk.

"Can we talk? In private?" Draco asked, trying not to sound nervous. He didn't want Snape to know how this was affecting him. He had to act interested in what was happening to his arm, not scared to death of it.

Snape led Draco into his Office and shut the door behind them. With a flick of his wand he cast a spell that would make it impossible for anyone eavesdropping to hear their conversation. Draco was thankful for the extra measure of privacy.

"Your arm is bothering you?" Snape asked before Draco had even sat down. Draco nodded as he internally sighed with relief. Maybe this was normal, he just didn't understand why it had happening so suddenly.

"The Dark Lord is very displeased. All of us feel the pain. It happens occasionally when his emotions are strong. It is a warning for us not to fail, a reminder to remain committed to the task at hand. His rage will fade soon I'm sure."

Draco shuddered at the thought of having a direct line to the Dark Lord moods, although he was relieved to discover that he wasn't being singled out for anything. It put his mind a little bit at ease.

"I should be leaving," Draco said getting up. Now that his questions were answered it was time to go. He had almost made it to the door when Professor Snape stopped him.

"Malfoy?"

"Yes?" Draco said, his hand on the handle to the door.

"Have you been asked to do anything in service of the Dark Lord?" he asked simply.

"_Make her fall in love with you."_

Draco didn't even hesitate before answering.

"No."

Later that night Draco sat in his room with the door closed. He had his books spread out in front of him trying to come up with which potions he wanted to try to intertwine. Hermione was nowhere to be seen, probably in the Gryffindor tower. He was kind of happy for the alone time, it gave him more time to brood. He knew that he should snap out of it but that was easier said than done. To be honest these last few weeks were a fluke in his life. Very rarely was he happy, especially for such a long period of time. This was normal to him, the sulking, the brooding, it was what he did.

He heard the door in the Common Room open but he didn't budge. He turned his attention back to his assignment. There were ways he used to cope with feeling like this, granted he wasn't sure he had ever felt exactly like this. Usually he got down because he felt like he was disappointing his father, or he felt like he wasn't good enough. There was one thing a Malfoy didn't like to feel and that was inferiority.

As much as he thought he should feel like he was disappointing his father, that he wasn't worthy of the so called "honor" of being a Death Eater, he really felt like he was disappointing Hermione. When he had returned from Spring Break she had said she was proud of him. He wanted that now, really wanted it. More than he had ever wanted anything from his father.

It was too late.

He couldn't take it back. The only thing he could do was make the best of it and hope that she never had to find out the truth. The ironic thing was that if prophecy held true then Potter was the one that would keep that from happening. He would defeat the Dark Lord, his father would be put in Azkaban and he would never have to think about either of them again.

Draco got a decent start on his potions assignment and then he moved on to other homework. Before he realized it more than an hour had passed and it was near time to go to bed. Before he could decide if he wanted Hermione's company or not there was a soft knock on the door.

"Come in," he said, feeling a knot in his stomach. The throbbing of his forearm had receded so that it was barely noticeable. It still made him self conscious, as if she would know just by looking at him.

Hermione walked in. She was wearing an overlarge t-shirt and pajama pants that were patterned with the Gryffindor crest. Her hair was tied back and she looked nervous.

"What's wrong?" she asked walking farther into his room and standing next to his bed. He looked up at her and he just wanted to tell her the truth. Everything in him wanted to unburden himself but he just couldn't.

"It's just been one of those days," he said, surprised that just being around her made him start to feel a little better.

"I saw you stay after Potions. What was that about?" she asked. Draco looked up at her and he had to lie, there was no other option.

"I had an idea for the potion that I wanted to ask Snape about."

"So, why has it been one of those days?" she asked sitting down on the bed next to him, so close that they were almost touching. Draco felt like he had to tell her as much as he could. He was unused to someone actually wanting to know the "why" to his mood. He wanted to open up to her.

"Sometimes I just don't know if the future is going to be what I want it to be." All complexities aside that was the gist of his worries. She seemed to contemplate his answer.

"I was actually having that same issue today as well. I started wondering what would happen if the Marriage Law was appealed tomorrow. How it would change everything."

Draco looked over at her. This was something he wanted to talk about. What would she do if the law was appealed? Run as far away as she could from him? Go back to her normal life? "And if the law was appealed?" he asked, almost dreading the answer.

"It's not worth thinking about because things are how they are and right now I like how things are," she explained. It was a typical, logical, Hermione answer but he allowed himself to read a deeper meaning into it. If she liked how things were maybe that meant that she didn't want to change them.

Draco wanted to forget this whole day. Forget the Dark Mark, the lies, the deception, he wanted to forget everything but her. He laced his fingers with hers and then he leaned over and kissed her. Everything faded around him and nothing existed but the taste of her, the smell of flowers, the feeling of his lips on hers. He pushed his books off the bed where they landed on the floor with a thud. He laid down on the bed pulling her on top of him. He was waiting for the protests but there were none.

He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close to him as he kissed her softly, taking in and memorizing every single second of it. One of his hands reached up and touched the silky smooth skin of her face, savoring the feeling of having her pressed against him. Draco knew that he should stop soon, there was only so much that Hermione was comfortable with and he didn't want to push boundaries.

He also didn't want to be doing this for the wrong reasons.

This was his way of coping, he use to do it with Pansy all of the time. When things got difficult he would distract himself with her, letting himself concentrate on the pleasure to block out the internal pain. It wasn't that he didn't want to kiss Hermione, he did, but now wasn't the time. Especially if she didn't stop him. He wanted to fall out of old patterns and as difficult as it was it had to be done.

Draco slowed his kisses and then with more willpower than he thought he had he moved away from her and sat up.

"What?" she asked looking oddly terrified. He leaned forward and kissed her again.

"It's probably time for us to go to sleep. Will you stay?" he asked. He didn't want her to be confused about why he had pulled away from her and he wanted her to know that he didn't want her to leave.

"Yes, I'll stay."

Hermione turned her back to him as he changed clothes. With a flick of his wand, Draco extinguished the lights, and then climbed into bed. It was the first night he had fallen asleep with his arms wrapped tightly around her. Never wanting to let her go.


	28. The Passing of Days

_Author's Note: The last few days I've done some tweaking to the earlier chapters. All in all I added about 7k words just to fill it out a little better. The only big change is I modified the terms of the Marriage Law. Draco and Hermione can have a child and immediately get an annulment upon its birth, or they must stay married for three years, knocked down from ten, I thought it was a bit much. :p Anyway, enjoy, I tried to fill this chapter with a bit of light hearted fluff that you all seem to have been asking for. Happy reading!_

* * *

**May 16th**** 1998**

The weeks passed quickly and before Hermione knew it May was upon them. As the end of the school year approached she became more and more anxious for it to be over with. Seven years of her life had been building up to this. She wanted to get through her exams and see how well she did, she wanted to figure out what she was going to do after graduation. At the same time thoughts of graduation reminded her that her wedding to Draco would be closer than ever. Most days she didn't think about it, it was surprisingly easy not to.

Things with Draco were going well. They had fallen into a comfortable routine with one another and Hermione enjoyed it. Physically, things between them were moving slowly and she was thankful for that. They stuck to kissing, usually before they fell asleep together. He seemed to know her boundaries and respect them without her having to say anything, which meant more to her than she would ever tell him.

Currently he was snoring softly beside her. She looked over at him and smiled. Last night when they were laying in bed together he had asked something of her and she wasn't sure how to make it happen. The way he had been kissing her had made it hard not to agree to anything he asked. He wanted her to skip lunch with Harry and Ron later today and meet him in the Grand Entrance. She had to admit that she was looking forward to it. She was curious, she was nervous, not only because the request was strange but because she didn't want Harry and Ron to find out.

As silly as it was, she didn't want the looks of disappointment, she didn't want them to think she was picking Draco over them either. Still, she would do it. Draco never really asked anything of her so she figured that this couldn't be too bad.

It was Saturday and Hermione was very much enjoying the opportunity to sleep in, which didn't much matter since she was awake at the moment. It was nice to not have to rush out of bed the moment she woke up though. Draco had gotten to the point where he rarely stirred at 6:30 when the alarm went off. It was automatically set to go off about an hour later and that was when he woke up and by then she was usually already on her way to the Great Hall so they rarely saw each other in the mornings.

This morning she'd been woken up by the sun streaming in through the window. It was a nice day, sunny and warmer than usual. Hopefully the air was going to lose the chill that seemed to linger into Spring far longer than anyone wanted. Hermione yawned and snuggled deeper into her pillow. This was definitely nice.

A few moments later she couldn't stop a smile from spreading across her face as she felt him reach for her hand. It was moments like these, mainly when he was half asleep, that endeared him that much more to her. Sleepy-Draco was much different from Awake-Draco. She enjoyed the difference. She enjoyed that she noticed a difference.

As much as she would like to stay in bed, she was getting hungry and she was sure that there were some pancakes in the Great Hall with her name on them. Hermione ran her thumb over his skin. She never tired of the softness of him, it was ridiculous how much one person could enjoy touching another. He was beautiful. Hermione rolled her eyes in annoyance at her mushy thoughts. She was definitely falling into the normal habits of her female peers. It didn't bother her as much as it probably was supposed to.

"Are you awake?" she asked looking at his face. His eyes were still closed.

"No," he mumbled, cracking open sleepy eyes and yawning.

"I was going to go eat breakfast, it's getting late," Hermione said as she caught his yawn and yawned also.

"Bed's nicer," he said, his voice still sleepy.

"I know, but I'm starving," she said as her stomach grumbled in agreement.

"Are you still meeting me around lunch time?" he asked, stretching his arms above his head.

"I'll be there," she said with a hesitant smile.

A little while later Hermione was in the Great Hall, in her usual spot, sitting next to Ron and Harry eating her pancakes. They were busy talking about Quidditch, _again, _it seemed to be a never-ending subject for the two of them. Hermione actually felt bad that they were done eating, had been done eating for awhile, judging by the fact that when she had entered the Hall their plates had been empty. Still they waited for her.

She ate her pancakes more quickly than usual and soon they were headed up to the Gryffindor Tower to hang out. As they sat around the Common Room, Hermione spent quite a bit of time talking with Neville. He had just finished his Herbology report and had excitedly asked her to look over it. Neville was frankly a genius when it came to plants and Hermione thoroughly enjoyed reading his work.

When she and Neville were finished talking she spent some time with Ron, Harry, and Ginny. It felt like they spent hours talking and laughing, playing games of Exploding Snap. Before she knew it, lunch time was upon them, so she had to make an excuse as to why she wouldn't be eating with them. Which was easier said than done. She really didn't want to lie, and she really, _really_, didn't want to tell the truth. However, there was only one option.

They were on their way down to the Great Hall and Hermione's palms were all sweaty. Draco was probably waiting for her and honestly she was excited to see him, and find out exactly what he had planned for her. They were almost to the Great Hall when Hermione decided to speak up, telling herself that it wasn't going to be as bad as she anticipated.

"I guess I'll see you at dinner? I have lunch plans with Malfoy," she said, trying to sound flippant. Ron stopped in his tracks and looked… unhappy, to say the least. Harry gave her a look that she couldn't read and grabbed Ron by the arm, and Ginny gave her a small encouraging smile.

"See you later, Hermione," Harry said pulling Ron down the hallway with Ginny in tow and leaving Hermione standing alone. She stood looking after them and with a little sigh she headed towards the Grand Entrance, not as excited as she had been a minute ago. It hadn't gone badly but it left her feeling like things weren't the same anymore and never would be.

Draco was leaning against the stone wall, arms crossed, as he waited for her. Hermione stopped cold. His stance reminded her so much of the Ferret he used to be. It was confident, and elitist, as if the world owed him everything, he looked every bit a Slytherin. Then… then he looked at her and everything changed. There was no coldness, no distance, no cement walls hiding who he was. He was just Draco and he was smiling at her and she couldn't help but smile at him in return.

"I thought maybe you had stood me up," he said opening the door so that she could walk outside. Hermione wondered why they were going outside. It was nice out so she didn't really mind.

The sun was shining brightly and it felt warm against her skin. There was not a cloud in the sky to be seen and the breeze was light and comfortable. It was the nicest day so far this year and she was happy the sun was actually out and not hidden behind heavy clouds. Hermione curiously followed Draco as he made his way towards the path that lead down to the lake. They were walking side by side, a few inches away from one another when he did the most unexpected thing.

He held her hand.

Hermione looked down at their entwined fingers and then looked up at Draco. The only time he ever held her hand was while they were in bed together in the dark. Not even when they were just relaxing in their Common Room together did he touch her.

"What are you doing?" she asked, feeling a blush creep up on her freckled cheeks.

"I'm wooing you," he said with one of his mischievous grins as he pulled her down the path.

"You're doing what?" she asked laughing. Draco was _wooing _her? This was an interesting development. Why and when had he decided that she needed wooing?

They'd made it to the lake and when Hermione saw what awaited them she laughed, hard.

"_What _is this?" she asked when she had finally caught her breath.

"As I said, I'm wooing you." He seemed amused by her reaction, as if he understood all the ways in which she found this incredibly ironic and wrong on so many levels.

So many, many, many, levels.

Sitting in front of them, laid out all nice and neat, straight out of a muggle romance novel, was a picnic.

An honest to Merlin picnic.

Draco had obviously lost his mind.

"Are you serious?" she asked suppressing giggles.

"I had a feeling I was getting too predicable," he said with a smirk.

As far as Hermione was concerned, that was definitely no longer a problem.

* * *

Draco watched Hermione's face as she saw the picnic and he smiled. He was very well aware that this was incredibly corny, and all sorts of lame, but he wanted to do this for her. He wanted her to have these silly things that all other girls got. She'd never had a boyfriend, never been on a date, and in a little over a month she'd be married to him and never have the opportunity for something like this.

So, even though it went against everything he had ever been taught, he did it anyway. He wasn't sure exactly where he had gotten the idea for a picnic from. He usually wasn't exposed to such romantic ideals. He'd probably seen other students do things like this through =out the years. He'd then probably tormented them for it.

Draco sincerely hoped that no one saw them doing this. It wasn't that he was embarrassed, although he was, it was that he didn't want her friends to know. Potter and Weasley were never going to accept him, so he was trying to stay out of sight out of mind as far as they were concerned.

He walked Hermione over to the blanket that was laid out on the grass and pulled her down with him. He'd had the House Elves pack sandwiches, fruit salad, and two pieces of chocolate pie and after all this work, alright… he hadn't really done anything, he was famished.

Hermione still looked amused and nervous, as if she was waiting for something horrible to pop out at her. Draco was enjoying the fact that he shocked her. Secretly he liked surprising her, he liked letting her see other sides of him that no one else saw. Even in his wildest dreams he could never imagine doing something like this for anyone but her.

They had a nice view of the lake, he supposed that it was romantic, not that he was much of a judge. He was glad that the weather had held up and it was a nice late Spring day. The sun was shining down on the water making it sparkle. The sweetness of it was quite sickening actually.

"Besides the fact that you've gotten it into your head to woo me, what's the real reason for all of this?" she asked as she popped a grape in her mouth. Despite the cliché of it Draco had to admit that the spring sunshine suited her. It made her hair gleam, made her eyes shine a warm golden brown color. He had actually never noticed how prominent the freckles on her nose were. He decided that Hogwarts needed better lighting. He wanted to see her like this all of the time.

What was the real reason for all of this? There were several. Wanting to make her happy, wanting their relationship to have some sort of "normalcy". Above all else… he didn't want her to leave him, as pathetic as it sounded. He'd done a rather impressive job of blocking out all of the darkness in his life, but it was still there, like a spring storm, hovering on the edge of the horizon. Maybe if they made memories together, normal, happy, memories, if… or when… the truth came out about him being a Death Eater she would realize that…

Well… that she didn't _want_ to leave him. He would tell her the truth eventually and then she would realize that things weren't all that bad. That he wasn't a horrible, despicable, person, that he had good qualities, could even be thoughtful on occasion. She wouldn't see him and think of death and deception, but of picnics and sunshine. He needed that, needed her to see him in that way.

"The real reason is because I want you to be happy." He wanted her to be happy with him. He knew without a shadow of doubt that as far as wives went he was never going to find anyone better for him than Hermione. It wasn't a "love" match but he had never expected a marriage to be about that. She understood him as no one else did. She was smart, she made him laugh, which in itself was a sort of miracle. She made him better and no Pansy Parkinson or Daphne Greengrass would ever be able to measure up.

With Hermione he could see a marriage with her as being more than two people who just co-existed like his parents. He could see a real friendship, a real relationship, and for the first time in his life he wanted that.

"Well I am happy. Highly confused, but happy. This was oddly sweet and strangely thoughtful and also a bit scary, but I'm not complaining," she said tossing a grape his way and he promptly caught it in his mouth.

Draco smiled. Before he became engaged, never would he have imagined that making someone else happy could make him feel so good inside.

* * *

**May 23****th**** 1998**

"It's not as bad as you think it will be. Just hold onto it firmly and get ready for the ride of your life," he said with one of those grins that showed he was getting entirely too much pleasure out of this.

"I'm going to fall off," Hermione said between her clenched teeth. Whatever had possessed her to climb on Draco's broom and insist that she could ride it had promptly disappeared the moment her bum hit the seat.

"I knew you were bluffing. All that talk about excelling at everything you put your mind to and you can't even kick off. I think you're scared," he said in that smug way of his, arms crossed over his chest. She hated to admit that he looked quite attractive. The sky was dark with rain clouds and it made his eyes look darker and more mysterious, however that was not the point.

"I think I'm going to have Crookshanks scratch your eyes out if you don't shut up," she said with her sweetest smile. Draco had been gloating over his rising rank as one of the top students in their year. He was still far enough away that she wasn't worried about him replacing her as best student. After all, he was third, that was pretty far away, with one person between them, no cause for concern whatsoever. None at all.

His gloating had prompted her to say that she intended to beat him because she excelled at everything that she set her mind to and being better than him just came naturally. At which point the had laughed, and smugly replied that he could find something he was better at. Having a temporary lapse in judgment she had told him to "bring it". Now she was on the Quidditch Pitch, straddling his Cleansweep Eleven. Which, as he kept pointing out, could go from 0 to _70_mph_,_ as in a seven followed by a zero, in _ten_ seconds. She was absolutely terrified.

Give her a nice, sturdy, slow moving Comet 140 and she was perfectly fine. Put her in a situation of life and death and yeah, a broom was no problem. However, showing off on a broom, _a racing broom_, in front of Draco, was a recipe for disaster.

"It's going to rain soon, we might as well go back inside. It's alright, some of the first years aren't too good at flying either."

Oh no he did _not_.

With a determined grin, Hermione gripped the broom for dear life and then kicked off as hard as she could. The broom shoot forward and upward and Hermione let out an unintelligible string of words that sounded something like ohsweetmerlinpleasedon'tletmedie, as she flew through the air. Resisting the urge to stop and catch her bearings, she flew in a fast circle, showing Draco that she possessed the skill to at least not fall off by moving.

Compare her to a First Year? She would show him, she wasn't scared of a broom, even one that went as fast as this. She refused to look down, telling herself that she wasn't that high up and there was nothing to be afraid of. Hermione leaned forward taking the broom to the maximum speed as she raced toward the other end of the Quidditch Pitch. It had been awhile since she'd been on a broom, as she used one as sparingly as possible, but it wasn't hard to remember what to do. As long as she didn't think about what she was doing.

Right as she was about to turn around and fly back to him the sky lit up with lightening and then it began to rain hard. She was so surprised that she nearly let go of the broom. With the cold rain drops came the knowledge that proving a point was one thing, getting struck by lightening while riding on a broom was another matter entirely. She dived toward the ground at a rather slow pace and resisted the urge to fall to the ground in gratitude when her feet hit earth.

Rain be damned, she'd walk back to Draco in the rain. There was no way she was going to get back on the broom. Besides, the rain wasn't _that_ bad.

She'd only taken a few steps when the broom flew out of her hands and disappeared into the rain. Hermione rolled her eyes. He knew that she had landed and had decided to _Accio_ the broom so that he could then ride to her rescue. So predictable.

A few moments later he appeared, as dry as if it were a bright summer day. She raised an eyebrow at the need for the shielding charm, the rain wasn't _that_ bad.

"I'll give you a ride back to the castle," Draco said, maneuvering the broom so that she could easily climb on the back. Hermione stopped and raised an eyebrow, no way, no how, was she going to get on the back of the broom so that he could race towards the castle at break neck speeds. However, it was a very long walk back to and the thunder was bordering on deafening.

"I won't kill us, promise," he said giving her one of those rare can't-say-no-to-me grins. With an answering smile she climbed onto his broom and wrapped her arms around him, being sure to get him as soaked with the rain from her clothes as possible. If he minded he didn't say anything. They rode back to the castle at an almost leisurely pace and Hermione had the sneaking suspicion that he was enjoying being her "hero".

He was so full of it.

* * *

Draco smiled to himself as they rode back to the castle. He was finding Hermione's attitude amusing. From the way she had huffed and puffed, insisting that she was better than him at everything to the look on her face when he mentioned flying, and then the glare when he had found her soaked as she trudged through the rain. He decided that challenging her was a new favorite pastime.

They got back to the castle and Draco sent his broom back to the shed before following her inside. While he had completely enjoyed the feeling of her arms wrapped around him he was now quite disgusted by his damp clothes that were sticking to his back. By the satisfied look on her face at his grimace of discomfort he figured that was the purpose. Wet, clingy, clothes were one of those things that he just hated. He couldn't help but think that he had met his match in her.

Twenty minutes later they were sitting in the Common Room together, with nothing but the sound of the passing storm outside and the crackling of fire to interrupt the silence. They were both in their pajamas and sitting on the sofa, side by side. She was reading a book and he was flipping through the Daily Prophet because he had nothing better to do.

He had apologized for baiting her into getting on a broom and she had apologized for insulting him and saying that she was better at everything. It had since been amended that she was better at everything that didn't involve a broom, which he supposed he could let her believe. For now anyway.

Draco turned his attention back to the paper. He was flipping through the society pages when he saw something that made him stop. It was a picture of his father and his mother. From the caption it seemed that they had gone to some awards ceremony to honor achievements in the Wizarding World.

They looked the same as they always did. Draco tried to picture himself next to them and the differences were glaring to him. He smiled now, really smiled. Sometimes when he was in the bathroom he would catch a glimpse of his reflection in the mirror, of the smile that would linger from Hermione's presence, and it would surprise him.

Draco looked back at the picture, at the coldness in his father's gaze, the smile on his lips that was more smirk than real smile. He had always been told how much like his father he was. His forearm started tingling and Draco knew it was all in his head. He needed to deal with the reality of the situation and stop conveniently blocking everything out so that when he was reminded he had moments like this.

The problem with that was that the first step always seemed to be to tell Hermione the truth.

"Hermione?" he said attempting to distract her from her book.

"Hmm?" she replied absently, her eyes continuing to scan quickly over the page she was reading.

Draco leaned over and slowly closed her book.

"What are yo-" before she could finish the sentence his lips found hers and he gave her a quick kiss, resisting the urge to let his lips linger.

"What was that for?" she asked with a pleased little smile.

Draco spent a moment trying to find away to articulate things into words. There wasn't a way for him to do it. Words flew at him and then just as quickly slipped away. He reached over and pulled her into a hug. Draco had never been a very "huggy" person, actually as far as he could remember this was only the second one they had ever shared. Despite the fact that it made him feel vulnerable, more so than usual around her, he needed it.

She wrapped her arms around him in return and suddenly he didn't know what to do. He could easily kiss her, hold her hand, and cuddle with her in the darkness of his bed, but the contact they were sharing now almost felt too intimate to him. It wasn't about attraction or lust, she was comforting him, whether she knew it or not, and he didn't know how to handle that.

Draco pulled away and stood up quickly. He was so close to just opening his mouth and letting words tumble out and he knew in his gut that it wouldn't end well. No matter how understanding he believed her to be he didn't see a conversation about him being a Death Eater ending up in any other way but the sound of the slamming of the door as she left.

"I'm going to go to bed," he said turning around and walking into his room. Putting distance between them and taking a few deep breaths allowed him to collect himself. He reached inside of himself and found that pool of self control that he'd been using all of his life. The one that allowed him to push his emotions aside. He climbed into bed and she followed a few minutes later.

Draco closed his eyes, wanting to fall asleep and wake up to a better day when all of his current thoughts would be a distant memory.

"Will you tell me what is wrong?" Hermione asked as she laid her hand on his shoulder. He was silent and her hand moved down his arm, finding his hand and entwining her fingers with his.

"I'm just tired," he said, unhappy with himself for lying to her.

"I wish you would talk to me."

He wished he knew how.

Her fingers left his and he could feel her turn away from him as she settled on the opposite side of the bed. It was the first time in a long time he fell asleep feeling alone.

* * *

**As always review, it makes me so happy! You'll also be thrilled to know the next chapter is almost half way done already, fingers crossed that it's finished by next Friday!**


	29. The Lack of Trust

It took Hermione a very long time to fall asleep that night. She knew why he was upset. She just wanted to hear it from him. She wanted to know that he trusted her enough to share his feelings with her. In the past few months that had become something that was important to her. She even had to acknowledge that he actually _had_ feelings.

In the passing months, she had allowed herself to forget about what had happened over Spring break. It seemed so long ago, but it was coming back to her now. Something had happened while he'd been home and he'd never told her what it was. After a few days he seemed better, her worry faded, and she let it go. She couldn't believe that she had honestly forgotten about the haunted look on his face the day he had returned.

Forgotten about the nightmare that had left him gasping for breath and shaking that night.

The one that he still had never told her about.

It wasn't all that surprising but it was hurtful all the same. They had been engaged for three months now, and while that wasn't a long time, it had been long enough for her to develop an affection for him that, in those first few weeks, she never would have believed was possible.

When she had set out to "make the best of the situation", never had she imagined that it would include sleeping in bed with him, kissing him night after night, picnics by the lake and the way her insides did somersaults when he held her hand. She was special to him, she knew that she was. She knew that he had never held another girl's hand. That he had never hugged someone like he had hugged her. That he'd never fallen asleep holding anyone else but her.

These actions told her what his words couldn't, but she still wanted his words. She wanted to know that seeing his Father's picture in the Daily Prophet had upset him and she wanted to know why. She wanted to understand why it had that effect on him. After he had left their Common Room, she had flipped through it and instantly after seeing the picture, she knew that it had been responsible for the change in his behavior. She just didn't know why.

Hermione had her guesses and suspicions, but she wanted to know the truth. Despite the many, many, things she had learned about Draco over the last few months she still didn't know who he was at home or who he had been before he had arrived at Hogwarts. She had a good idea of how his father made him feel, like he wasn't ever going to be good enough. She wanted to know everything, she wanted to know what he had never dreamed about telling another person. She wanted to be that special.

Awhile ago, she had told him to stop trying to be who his father wanted him to be. She thought that he was doing that. The relationship that they had was probably something that Lucius wouldn't approve of. He was probably hoping that Draco was making her life miserable, tormenting her at every turn, but he wasn't. Quite the opposite in fact, and she felt like it was progress.

If he felt guilty for being with her the way that he was because it would disappoint his father then why couldn't he just tell her? She'd understand. He had to know by now that she'd understand anything. Almost anything.

Not once since she had started sleeping in his bed had he had a nightmare. He slept soundly and she wanted to believe that it was because he had made a choice. A real choice, not to turn into his father. That he had a clear conscious and he wasn't struggling. If he was, she wanted to know. She _deserved_ to know.

If he was thinking, even for a moment, that he was going to become a Death Eater then he had to tell her. A rush of insecurities flooded her. Draco being a Death Eater was something that she literally refused to think about anymore. At one time she had decided that if he went down that path she wouldn't marry him. That was even truer now, as much as she hated to admit it.

Hermione had spent three months showing him what kind of relationship they could have after Hogwarts. Showing him that she could care about him and support him and be proud of him. If he decided to become a Death Eater he was saying that none of that mattered. That his father's threats and verbal abuse meant more than the… affection… and friendship that she gave him. She would never be able to forgive him for something like that.

She sighed into the darkness and moved closer to him, wrapping an arm around him. She had to believe that she knew him better than that. She had to trust him even if he wouldn't trust her enough to talk to her. She pulled him closer. Just the thought of him becoming a Death Eater broke her heart a little.

Hours later, Hermione woke up to the spring sunshine flooding the room and she opened her eyes, happy to find that Draco was still there. For a moment she had worried that, after how they had ended things last night, he'd sneak out of bed before she woke up. He was fully awake, sitting on the bed, looking out the window completely lost in thought.

She laid there and watched him, watched the sun cast a warm glow on his face, watched his hand absently reach out to touch her. She grabbed his hand and held it to her lips giving it a soft kiss. He looked down at her and almost smiled. Almost.

"I didn't know you were awake," he said, still holding onto her hand.

"How long have you been awake?" she asked sitting up. She resisted the urge to ask how he was. She didn't want him to have to lie. If he wanted to tell her he would. She really had to work on not pushing him.

"Awhile. I figured that I'd let you sleep a little while longer."

Hermione's brow furrowed. Things had been good lately, so good in fact that she had forgotten what it felt like to feel helpless like this. They'd had weeks of getting along so well, of not worrying about what was going to happen in the future. It had been so long since she'd actually thought about what was going to happen after graduation. It was weighing heavily on her mind now and she wondered if that was just another thing contributing to his mood.

Hermione looked at the clock and knew that she should be meeting Ron and Harry soon in the Great Hall for breakfast. She leaned over and gave him a hug before she climbed out of bed. She didn't want to leave, she wanted to stay there with him until he felt better. She hated knowing how alone he felt. She had Harry and Ron, but besides her, he had no one.

"I'll see you later tonight?"

He nodded, and not knowing what else to say, Hermione left the room and got ready for breakfast. She actually beat her friends there and while she waited, she poured herself a glass of orange juice and looked around the Great Hall. Surprisingly her eyes fell on Pansy Parkinson and Hermione realized that the other girl had been glaring at her.

Ron plopped down across from her at that very moment breaking the eye contact. Hermione pushed Pansy out of her mind and then smiled at her friends, getting ready for another, hopefully relaxing, Sunday at Hogwarts.

She enjoyed eating breakfast with everyone and afterwards her, Ginny, Ron, Harry, Neville, and several other Gryffindor decided that it was a good day to fly kites, so they headed outside. Hermione absolutely loved Wizard's Kites. Ginny had a ballerina kite that was years old by this point but when the wind picked up she danced through the sky like a real dancer. Neville's was a Dragon that actually breathed real fire, which had caused quite a few singed kites over the years. Ron had a lion that actually looked like it was running through the sky, you could literally see the muscles rippling through it. A few of the other students had various ones as well.

Hermione helped Neville with his kite because everyone else was wise enough to stay away. She didn't know what had possessed his grandmother to send him something that breathed actual fire but she had to admit, once it got flying it did look pretty amazing.

They finally got the line untangled and then Neville wisely suggested that Hermione try getting it up in the air first. Hermione did it the easy way, by using her wand, and within seconds it was up in the air letting out cute little puffs of smoke. Apparently whatever made it shoot fire was a little broken. Hermione decided that was probably a good thing. She watched the kites up in the air, mainly Ron's running after Ginny's. It looked like the ballerina was about to be cat food.

Off in the distance she saw _him_. He was hovering above the Quidditch Pitch, a green and silver speck to her eyes. Hopefully whatever was bothering him he would work out through flying. She knew it was his favorite way to relieve stress, well one of them, she thought with a smile.

Her thoughts nearly got her knocked over by Neville who decided that running backwards with his attention on his kite was a good plan. She dodged out of the way at the very last moment. With a parting glance at the tiny figure in the distance she went back to paying attention to the kites.

A few hours later, Hermione was feeling sick to her stomach. She, Harry, and Ron had just been summoned to Dumbledore's Office and Hermione had to admit, it was the last place she wanted to be. There were so many bad memories associated with it. She wondered what it was about. If they were in trouble? If something had happened. Ron seemed to realize that she was having a minor freak out and he wrapped an arm around her shoulder.

"It can't be too bad. I'm sure everything is fine," he said comfortingly.

She smiled at him, "Thanks," she said, trying to believe him and not get worried over nothing. She was glad that Ron was talking to her again. After she'd had lunch with Draco last week she'd gotten the silent treatment for almost the rest of the day. She was pretty sure that Ginny'd told him off at some point, and before she knew it, Ron was acting like nothing had happened and he was talking to her again.

They walked up the stairway to Dumbledore's office, the door at the top was opened, so they went inside. Hermione was happy to see that Dumbledore was sitting at his desk, by himself, looking quite cheerful. This put her a little bit at ease. She was tired of the solemn looks that had graced his face the last several times she'd been in his office. They took seats in front of him and Dumbledore offered them a bowl of Chocolate Cockroaches. Ron grabbed a handful so Hermione decided to grab a few as well. Dumbledore was the one to break the silence.

"I'm sure you're all wondering why I asked you here," Dumbledore started off as he took several pieces of chocolate into his mouth. Hermione had to wait patiently for him to finish chewing before he continued.

"I would like you to revive Dumbledore's Army."

"Revive Dumbledore's Army?" Harry asked confused. "Why would we do that?"

"Professor Trimble is doing a great job," Hermione piped up. How Dumbledore had ever convinced the reclusive author of _Dark Forces: A Guide To Self Protection _to teach had been a miracle, and while he was a bit odd, he was incredibly knowledgeable.

"I do not doubt Professor Trimble's ability. I ask this of you because I fear for the future. Each day that Voldemort is not stopped he grows stronger and insinuates himself more deeply into society. It is with you and your friends that I place my hope for the future. I want you to be prepared. All of you. I think that if you gather those close to you, those you can trust, and practice your spells, both offensive and defensive, we have a greater chance for a better future."

"How do we know who to trust?" Ron asked as he reached for more chocolate.

"I think that must be a judgment call. I trust all of yours. There is something else. Miss Granger, there is a book in the Restricted section that I am giving you permission to check out. I would like you to go through it and decide if there is anything of use for you to teach the other students. They are very complicated spells, very dangerous spells. Honestly I would have Trimble teach them in class, however there are some who do not need to know the contents of that book."

"Slytherins," Harry replied logically and Dumbledore just nodded.

"I would be lying if I said that I didn't believe some students at this school have been… compromised, and I do not direct that at any particular House."

"You mean Death Eaters? In Gryffindor?" Ron asked in surprise through a mouthful of chocolate. Hermione knew that it was hard for him to believe that anyone that he had spent the last seven years growing up with could have been swayed by Voldemort.

"I have no suspicions regarding anyone in your House, but you must always be aware. Who is to say that Voldemort hasn't blackmailed, bribed, or threatened any one of the students at Hogwarts? If you knew that he had taken your parents and planned to kill them unless you assisted his cause, what would you do Mr. Weasley?"

Ron was grimly silent for a moment before he responded. "I wouldn't work for him. I'd find a way to save them," he said stubbornly.

"Not every student has the resources available to them that you have. What if you had no specific knowledge of the Order of the Phoenix? What if your parents were Muggles and weren't missed by the Wizarding community? How could you even imagine being able to save them? Some students could be put into that situation. I'm not telling you this to cast doubt on the loyalty of those around you. I'm just asking you to consider it."

"We'll do it, and we'll be careful," Harry said from beside her. Hermione had a moment of uneasiness as she thought about Voldemort kidnapping her parents. She didn't want to think about that, it made her insides hurt.

About a thirty minutes later, the Trio was leaving Dumbledore's Office. They'd discussed several things. Dumbledore had been trying to think of a way to find and exploit Voldemort's weaknesses. His research had led him to Godric's Hollow. He didn't know if, or how, Voldemort was connected to the place, other than what had happened with Harry's parents there, but he had asked Hermione to do as much research as possible on Godric's Hollow in her free time. Hermione didn't know what he expected her to find but she was willing to do it. Harry was especially excited about the prospect of finding out more about his birth place.

On the way up to the Gryffindor Common Room they were making up a roster of who they intended to participate in the revival of Dumbledore's Army.

"Ginny, Luna, Neville and the Creevys are definitely in," Harry said as he ticked off the names on his fingers.

"What about Lavender, Parvati, Padma, Dean and Seamus?" Hermione asked. She wasn't especially fond of Lavender but she was a Gryffindor and she did seem good at keeping secrets, despite her massive affinity for talking.

"I dunno about Seamus, he's been pretty moody lately. I think there's something up with him," Ron explained.

"It's called teenage hormones. He's in love with Parvati but she's dating Ernie and it's driving him mad," Hermione explained. She knew this only because she had to sit near Lavender and Parvati in Arithmancy and it was hard not to overhear things.

"Why doesn't he just date Padma? I mean… they look identical." Ron said and Hermione rolled her eyes.

"Just because they look alike does not make them the same people!" Hermione explained exasperated. Sometimes Ron made her wonder what, exactly, the opposite sex had in place of a brain.

* * *

As Draco entered his room his heart sank. Perched on his window sill, a messenger of doom, was one of his father's eagle owls. It had been over a month since he'd heard from him. He had hoped in vain that his father had given up on him, forgotten about him, decided that he was useless. It had been the first time in his life that he had wished for something like that.

And meant it.

Draco cursed and opened the window, taking the envelope that was tied to the owl's leg and then he sent the bird away. Draco looked at the envelope and the runes that were imprinted in wax along the seal. Special runes. If anyone besides Draco opened the letter it would incinerate itself. This wasn't good.

He didn't want to read it.

He had to read it.

With a sigh, he broke open the wax seal and began to read. It was one of the longer letters his father had written him, and one of the more demanding.

Draco

I have been… patiently waiting for news from you. Months and no response? You disappoint me. Are you holding up your deal of the bargain? Does she love you? The answer to that better be a yes. You need to earn her trust. You need to turn her against her friends, better yet, turn her friends against her. She is an asset to them, make her an asset to you.

I want their friendship destroyed.

The Dark Lord grows impatient. I grow impatient. We need Granger and her knowledge. I'm sure this is unpleasant for you, having to live with a filthy mudblood, however, the school year is almost over, your wedding is quickly approaching. Everything will be over soon after that. Do not fail me, do not fail at your duty. There will be consequences.

I expect a report within the week.

LM

That was the end of it. Draco collapsed down on his bed, and with a flick of his wand, the parchment went up in a flash of flames and smoke. He told himself not to worry, not to panic, not to let the knots that were tying themselves in his stomach, take over.

His father was right, everything would be over after graduation. He'd tell Hermione everything and then they'd run. They'd find some place to hide out. He'd find some way to get his father thrown in jail, or better yet, just wait until someone else managed to do it.

There were many things he had talked himself into believing that he could do. Protecting Hermione, keeping her safe after they were married, not entirely letting her down. Those things were easy to believe he could do. He couldn't imagine letting her down, allowing her to be hurt because of something he did. However, letting go of every single thing he had been taught by his father, that was another thing entirely. That was the hardest part of all.

He didn't know if he could do it.

His father had taught him so many things. To control emotions, the importance of self-perseverance, of the feeling of power. Not to trust anyone, to always look for motives, to exploit weaknesses.

He knew Hermione's weaknesses.

The thought of ever using them against her was honestly repulsive to him. He knew that one of Hermione's greatest fears was not having Potter and Weasley in her life. He couldn't, _wouldn't_, do that to her. He was quickly coming to learn that when it came to her, protecting her, there was very little he wouldn't do.

In fact, right now, as he thought about the bushy haired Gryffindor, he couldn't think of one thing he wouldn't do for her. Betray, disobey, defy, his father? It was done if only she would ask it of him. That moment, that one little moment of clarity was the most freeing he'd ever had in his life.

Then it left him.

He was back to feeling trapped and at a total loss of what to do. Sometimes he really hated his life.

Hated everything but the fact that she was in it.

Draco looked at the clock and realized dinner would be starting soon. With a sigh he looked in the mirror, straightening his clothes, making sure that he looked as composed as he always looked. So in control. So self assured. Gray eyes met gray eyes as he took a long look at himself. Hermione saw something in him, something real that he didn't even know he possessed until he'd gotten to know her. He couldn't name that quality, that indescribable thing that made her care. But it was there, it was inside of him, it existed somewhere.

It wasn't his charm, it wasn't his false bravado, or his superiority, his bloodline, his looks… all of the things that had other females chasing after him, hoping for just a little attention from him. He couldn't pin point what she saw in him and he hated it. Worried that he wouldn't be able to keep being whatever it was that she saw.

He didn't want to let her down.

Running his fingers through his blond hair, making sure each strand was in place, he made his way down to the Great Hall.

He took his usual seat at the Slytherin table, carefully crafting a look that told everyone to leave him alone. He was good at glowering, even better at a biting comment aimed at whoever interrupted his brooding. It made them all leave him alone. Made them fear him. Painted him to be the big bad Death Eater. That was what he wanted, what he had always wanted. Draco Malfoy usually got what he wanted.

Sometimes it was hard to keep up the façade. It was difficult not to smile. Especially when he caught a glimpse of _her_ from across the Hall, or when he was eating breakfast and his thoughts would wander to the night before, of the feeling of her lips on his. It was difficult not to be happy, but he pushed through it. The Slytherin left him alone. It was the way he wanted it.

Apparently, Pansy was tired of him distancing himself. Draco looked up from his meal as she sat down beside him, her hand brazenly resting on his thigh. It made him cringe. He raised a perfect eyebrow in her direction and then he turned his attention back to his food.

Her hand moved higher.

"Pansy," he growled a warning, not even looking at her. He winced as her nails dug into his upper thigh and then she pulled away.

"You've been in a mood for the last few months. I thought I'd offer to make you feel better. It's been a long time. I've missed you."

"I don't need you to make me feel better," Draco snapped back.

"I got a letter from your father this afternoon," Pansy said into the silence, her voice lowered so that only he could hear.

Draco looked at her, feeling his appetite quickly fading. He had a feeling that whatever his father had said to Pansy was going to have lasting repercussions. Draco took a moment to make sure that his voice would come out sounding normal.

"Oh?" He feigned disinterest, tried to look like he wasn't panicking.

"He wanted to know how you've been. I find it quite funny that he asked me, as I haven't really talked to you in months. Don't you find that interesting Draco?" she asked, a look of calculation on her face. Despite what he'd like to believe, Pansy wasn't entirely stupid.

"I don't know why my father does anything he does," Draco replied getting an unsettling feeling in his stomach. He had a feeling he knew exactly where this was going. It wasn't good.

"What exactly should I tell him? That you've been spending all of your time up in your room with the Mudblood? That you refuse to associate with your Housemates anymore? That you've betrayed us all?"

"I haven't betrayed anyone," Draco hissed. In all honesty Pansy was close to the truth. Too close.

"All I know is that things aren't how they used to be and I liked how they were. I want that back. Give me what I want and I'll tell your father anything you want me to."

Draco was quiet for a moment. He told himself that Hermione had given him permission to have affairs. He wouldn't be doing anything wrong. She knew he had "needs" as she put it. What he _needed_ was Hermione. What he wanted, was Hermione. Their talk about sex had happen before he'd decided that he actually liked her.

"Tell my father whatever you want. I don't care either way." Draco was almost confident that he could talk himself out of anything that Pansy decided to say. If she told his father that he was being distant, that he was spending all of his time with Hermione, then it would reinforce the idea that Draco was making Hermione fall in love with him. If anything, the truth worked in his favor.

"What happened to us, Draco?" Pansy actually sounded vulnerable which surprised Draco. Unless it was anger, she was as good at hiding her emotions as he was. The one time she'd actually showed real emotion in front of him had been the one time she'd asked to stay in his bed for the night. When he had told her no there had been tears. She had never cried in front of him again after that.

"I have responsibilities now. Real responsibilities. I can't just take what I want anymore." It was true, he had a responsibility to be good to Hermione. To try to make sure she wasn't miserable with him. To protect her from whatever his father had planned after their wedding.

Pansy seemed appeased and he caught her looking at his forearm, to the dark mark that lived just under his skin, in his blood, in his bones, in his soul, if he had one left.

"I sometimes forget how different you are from all of us." Her eyes found his, commanding him not to look away. "When she's dead, promise me you'll be mine again."

Draco's insides had all collided to the pit of his stomach. He almost couldn't bring himself to say anything but almost of their own accord, words were ripping out of his throat.

"I promise." It was an empty promise because Hermione wasn't going to die, by his father's doing or anyone else's. Draco turned his attention back to his half empty plate and made himself finish it. He kept trying to find the internal armor, the walls he wrapped around himself when he needed to be the 'Slytherin Prince'. The ones that blocked out feeling, blocked out emotion.

Those walls had abandoned him.

As soon as he could, Draco left the Great Hall and made his way up to the common room he shared with Hermione. It would probably be a few hours before she'd reappear and he was honestly counting the minutes. He wanted to see her. He wanted to reassure himself that she was real.

He lounged on the sofa, trying to clear his head of everything that was bothering him. He didn't want to respond to his father's letter but he knew he'd have to, eventually. For the millionth time he wondered if he should tell Hermione. In all honesty he could leave out the part about being a Death Eater, it wasn't integral to the point. He could tell her about his father's plan and ask her opinion on what to say.

What if she didn't trust him? He didn't want to be the one to plant the seed in her mind that he couldn't be trusted. He frowned, she knew that already. Would always know that he couldn't really be trusted. He had spent the last six years of their lives showing her how hateful and deceitful he was. If she trusted him she was a fool. Even he knew better than to trust himself.

Draco reached over to the stack of books that sat on the coffee table. They were Hermione's but he figured it would be good for him to find something else to think about, something to engage his mind that wouldn't leave him feeling like a spineless coward.

As he read the autobiography of Natazi Mugwort an early herboligist, which he had to admit was interesting, time passed quickly. Suddenly his reading was interrupted by the chiming of the clock on the wall. He looked over at the clock shocked to see that it was midnight.

He half wondered if he had fallen asleep in the midst of the story and missed Hermione entering the common room. Even if that was the case, she would have waken him. He sat there frowning, wondering where she was. He wasn't worried. He was jealous.

Potter and Weasley got to spend time with her all day, every day. The only time he really got to spend with her was in the evenings. He was angry that they had taken that away from him. More importantly he was angry that he was angry.

What was he doing? Waiting by the door for her to appear like he was? It was unlike him, not that he was able to recognize who he was recently. With a sigh, as aching muscles protested, he made his way over to his room. He wasn't going to wait up for her. It would be embarrassing if she noticed and it would be even more embarrassing if she didn't return at all. For all he knew she had fallen asleep in the Gryffindor Common Room and was going to be spending the night there.

Once he had changed clothes, gotten into bed, and turned off the light, he waited for the sound of the door. It seemed like it had been an eternity since he'd fallen asleep without her beside him. Forever since he'd woken up from sleep in the throes of a nightmare. Not once had he had a bad dream since they had come to their current sleeping arrangements. Draco didn't relish falling asleep and dreaming after today's events.

He had only been asleep for awhile, no nightmares had yet begun to claim him, when he felt the bed shift. His eyes flew open in panic just as he realized who it was, he knew just by the smell of her hair and the way her body felt next to him.

"I'm sorry I'm late," she whispered, her head resting against his shoulder in the darkness.

"Did you fall asleep in the Gryffindor Common Room?" he asked. Easily falling into their routine of catching up as they laid in bed together. There was silence and he wondered if she'd nodded off.

"No, not exactly." Finally came the answer.

"Where were you then?" he asked genuinely curious.

"I can't tell you. I want to. I honestly want to, but I just… I can't…"

There it was.

He knew Hermione Granger wasn't a fool. Knew that she was never going to trust him. He couldn't bring himself to get angry, didn't even want to acknowledge the strange little feeling in his chest that probably meant his feelings were hurt. He'd get angry tomorrow, or the day after, or the day after. Right now he was thankful, and Draco Malfoy was rarely thankful, but he was thankful that she was there, that she was alive, and that there would be no nightmares tonight.

* * *

_I would absolutely adore getting to 500 reviews so please take the time just to leave me one, I'd appreciate it so much! Hugs! Thank you guys so much!_


	30. The Confession of One Ron Weasley

Hello my lovelies, sorry for such a long delay in getting this chapter out. Fingers crossed that it won't happen again. I hope that everyone in the US had a lovely Thanksgiving. Thank you for all of your support with this story and all of the wonderful reviews I've gotten. Keep them coming! I appreciate it so much. Anyway, I'll let you get back to the story, enjoy!

* * *

Hermione sat in her common room, a book perched on her lap, absently staring out the window. She'd cracked it open a little while ago hoping that the fresh air would help her clear her head. The sun was peeking out from behind the overcast skies and Hermione found herself lost in thought. Three weeks until graduation. Three short weeks and everything was going to change. She was going to be a graduate, an adult. She was going to be a wife.

_His_ wife.

That probably scared her more than anything. She didn't have a plan, not a concrete plan anyway, for what she was going to do after graduation. The phenomenal thing about it was that she didn't know _why_ she didn't have a plan. Draco had said that he wouldn't keep her from doing anything that she wanted to do and yet she had come up with nothing.

She could get a job at the Ministry or in St Mungos research department. Those seemed like the easiest choices given her situation. Despite that, there was one thing she wanted,_ really_ wanted. She wanted to travel the world. She wanted to learn about other Wizarding places. There were communities all over the world with different customs and practices and ideas, and she wanted to see them all.

That was her plan. Would Draco let her go alone? That didn't matter because she wanted him to go with her. It was the perfect plan, it was what she wanted. Going with Ron and Harry would be lovely but they wouldn't be interested in the things that she was. Hermione had a feeling that if Draco got over his sense of superiority over, well, everyone, he might actually learn something and enjoy it.

The problem with that was that he was barely talking to her. She couldn't even blame him.

She was going to be a horrible wife.

It had never mattered to her before what kind of wife she'd be to Draco. It hadn't entered her mind to care or to even think about it. Getting along was her main concern and for the past few months for the most part they'd been able to do it. Everything was ruined now. Completely ruined.

He couldn't trust her. _He _couldn't trust _her_.

No one could even comprehend how much that grated on her nerves. Somewhere along the way she had decided that Draco was going to trust her. That she was going to be his best friend, his conscience, his confidant, the one that held him at night… somewhere along the way she had decided to be his everything.

In this last week they'd barely seen one another. They talked even less and worst of all, Hermione had begun to sleep in her own room, in her own bed, alone. It had happened on Monday night. She'd stayed out after curfew with Ron, Harry, and the rest of Dumbledore's army. With only a little bit of time left before graduation it was important that they meet whenever possible so they were having meetings almost every night.

Hermione hadn't gotten back to their dorm until after midnight. She had walked to his bedroom door and had been unable to enter. She couldn't go inside, crawl into bed with him, knowing that he was wondering where she had been and she being unable to tell him. So she had turned around and headed to her room.

Nothing at all had been said about it.

She wanted him to miss her.

She missed him.

How did she chose between Draco and Ron and Harry? It was honestly an easy choice. It was an instinctual choice, but that didn't make her like it. Hermione had known that moment that she had realized she had feelings for Draco that she would have to choose between her friends and him, it seemed inevitable. In her world she couldn't want both and have both. She just didn't know that it would be like this. Tomorrow was Saturday and would be full of more secrets. There was a trip to Hogsmeade and everyone in Dumbledore's Army was staying at the Castle to get in more practice on offensive and defensive spells.

Harry and Ron had made her swear not to tell Draco about any of it. After what had happened in their Fifth Year, with the Inquisitorial Squad and Draco being the leader of it, she couldn't say that she blamed them, but she really hated keeping things from him.

Part of her said that she should tell Draco the truth regardless, as long as he kept it a secret then it would never be an issue. However, the thought of going back on her word to Ron and Harry was just as hard to fathom. She felt stuck between a rock and a hard place. The only thing she could do was get Harry and Ron's blessing to tell him. That was going to be hard to do but she realized she had to. She couldn't keep on like this.

It was hurting her, and more than that, she knew that it was hurting him.

As if summoned by her thoughts Hermione heard the door open and close and she pulled her attention away from the now sunny window. The week had flown by with neither of them getting to see each other except in class. In the mornings she was up as early as always with him sleeping in, and at night she usually didn't get in until late and whether he was awake or not she didn't know, his bedroom door was now shut.

This was the first time they'd been alone together in days and she was nervous. Hermione was relieved when he sat down in the arm chair on the other side of the fireplace. She sat down her book, entitled 'A History of Godric's Hollow', and looked over at him. She wanted the banter, and the jokes, and the long discussions and conversations back.

Hermione decided that she ought to go find Ron and Harry and try to figure out how she was going to smooth this whole situation over. She stood up and walked over to Draco where he was pulling out parchment and books from his bag. She brazenly reached down and grabbed his hand, holding it tightly.

She didn't want to say it. Didn't even want to acknowledge the words she was about to utter, but she had to say it. It wasn't a choice, or a want, it was a need, and she couldn't stop herself.

"I miss you."

Hermione let go of his hand and walked to the door. She hesitated a moment before opening the door, hoping he'd break the silence. He didn't, and she hadn't really expected him to. The way he had squeezed her hand told her enough.

Hermione found Ron and Harry coming down the stairs just as she was turning the corner to go up to the Gryffindor Tower. They saw her and Harry looked excited to see her. Hermione guessed that he had probably come up with another plan for DA. When they weren't having meetings they were making out lesson plans on what to go over in the next meeting.

Hermione was honestly carrying the brunt of the work. Ron and Harry weren't as quick at finishing their homework as she was and while she wouldn't say that her school work was suffering from her rushing to get finished with it, her assignments definitely hadn't been up to her usual standards. So far her grades hadn't reflected it at all so she told herself not to worry about.

"We need to go outside to talk," Harry said excitedly as he pulled her along the corridors. Hermione followed willingly, she had been planning on asking them to go outside to talk with her anyway. She wasn't sure how she was going to broach the topic and this was giving her a little bit of time to think about it and prepare.

She hated being afraid to talk to them. Honestly that was putting it lightly, she was terrified. Hermione prided herself on being opinionated, of being fierce in her beliefs, and she was quite sure Ron and Harry loved her regardless. Sticking her neck out for someone that had, until recently, been their mortal enemy was another thing entirely.

However, debate was something she excelled at and she was trying to look at this as a debate. She had to sway them to her side. Give them facts, give them reasons, leave emotions out of it. She could do that. She would tell them the pros and cons and hope that they would see her side of things.

The ugly truth was that she wouldn't believe herself if she were them. There were pros, yes, pros that benefited her. There were also cons, and the cons were deadly. If Draco betrayed them it didn't have consequences for just them, it had consequences for a lot of people. All the way up to Dumbledore and down to the handful of third years that were new members of the DA.

Harry would look at the bigger picture, he had to. He would care about her feelings, might even care that she felt conflicted, but in the end he was going to do the thing that was best for everyone. That would involve not telling Draco. Still, she was going to try.

She wished she had brought Ginny along.

Hermione chatted with Ron and Harry as they made their way outside and towards the lake. She was painfully reminded of her picnic with Draco as they stopped at that very spot. That had been such a light carefree day. She really, really, wanted that back. Hermione turned her attention back to Harry who had started going on about his newest idea.

"So I was thinking up ideas and I think we should do classes on each of the elements. I noticed in the last class how certain ones of us seem to have greater strengths in certain classes of spells. Neville, for example, is great at the root bind, the stone shield, the vine wrap, but give him spells involving fire and he's less than apt. Naliara in Ravenclaw is the same way with any spells involving water. The book that Dumbledore gave you has tons of ideas and this could really help everyone find their strengths and then we can concentrate on that and go from there. What do you think?" he asked excitedly.

"I think that's a great idea, Harry." It meant more work for Hermione, and less studying, with the NEWTS only a week away, but strangely she felt up to the challenge. This, she realized, was her opening. Help with lesson plans would be very welcome. Harry and Ron were just barely getting by with their homework as it is. On top of the meetings, Hermione had her research for Dumbledore, lesson plans, and homework. Perfect opportunity, she obviously needed a little bit of assistance.

"You know, I could really use some help with this. I think Draco would be the perfect person-"

"Malfoy?" asked Ron cutting her off in disbelief. "You want_ him_ to help you with DA stuff? Are you serious? Hermione have you gone mad?"

"Ron, I'm sure she didn't mean it like that-" Harry began.

"No, actually I did mean it like that," Hermione jumped in, trying to push herself forward before she decided to back out. "I've got a lot of stuff on my plate and I trust him enough to help me. He's a good student, he's incredibly intelligent, he knows the spells we've learned in class as well as I do, and he's a quick learner. With the privacy of our common room we have the space to work together, test out spells, and come up with what works. It would be an unbelievable help." She hoped she didn't sound as desperate for their approval as she felt.

"Hermione, we can't let Malfoy have any knowledge about what goes on in the DA. I know that you want to trust him but he can't be trusted," Harry explained. Hermione knew this was coming so she went to her second defense. More facts.

"Admittedly there are some trust issues. I understand that but think of the Dueling Club. He was a good opponent. He was surprising. He knew things that you didn't. That's how it's going to be when we go up against the Death Eaters. He's not one of them but he knows them. He might know who has what weaknesses. He might be able to give us the edge that we need." They had to trust her instincts. Her instinct was to trust Draco. Harry and Ron just needed to trust her.

"We can't risk it," Harry said simply, frustrating her even further. Hermione then decided that she had no other choice but to go to the heart of the matter.

"I don't want to keep this secret from him anymore." There, she had said it, it was all out in the open. "Keeping this from him has ruined our relationship. I need for him to trust me to make this whole situation work. I give you my word that he won't tell anyone. I trust him enough to promise you that no one will find out." She meant it. There were some things that worried her about Draco, some things she wasn't sure she could change about him, but if she confided in him about this... if she asked him not to say anything... she knew, deep down, that he would honor that.

Honor was a strange word to use in connection with Draco Malfoy but that didn't make it any less true in her eyes.

"Until his father or Voldemort asks him otherwise." Ron mumbled. Harry interrupted him before he could say anything else.

"After graduation both of you are going to go to Malfoy Manor. Where Lucius is, a veritable den of snakes. Who knows what they would do to him to get him to talk? We just can't risk it, Hermione. I'm sorry."

"This really matters to me," Hermione said, defeated. There was nothing else that she knew to say to change their minds.

It was then that she looked over at Ron to see that his face was a deep shade of red, almost purple with rage. It was then that he exploded.

"You know what, Hermione? I'm sick of this! When did you decide that you were going to put that pureblood lying snake ahead of everything that you believe in? You want to tell him about D.A.? Fine, tell him, but don't come back to us. The lines were drawn along time ago and he's not on our side. Are you forgetting the fact that you are supposed to marry him? Are you forgetting the fact that he had the chance to _stop_ it? Did he care enough about you to do that?_ No_. Does he care enough about you to do it now? _No_! Because he won't go against what his father wants! You are deluding yourself into believing that you have some sort of "relationship" when all it is manipulation. He doesn't want to be with you. His father wants him to be with you."

Hermione stood there in shock, barely breathing. She was trying to process everything he had just said but she couldn't. She wasn't sure that she had ever seen him like this, and apparently he wasn't finished.

"You don't know what real feelings look like. What real love is. I see the way you look at him and I don't understand how you can have feelings for someone that called you a Mudblood, someone who wanted to take your friends from you. He wanted Harry dead, Hermione. Dead. That darkness is in him. It will always be in him. How can you love anything about him?"

Hermione tensed up at the use of the word "love". Harry seemed to have decided to stay out of this whole conversation because he had walked a few paces away and turned his back on them. Hermione looked back at Ron, surprised to feel tears springing to her eyes, even more surprised that they mirrored the tears in his.

"I love you, Hermione." She couldn't look him in the eyes any longer as his voice grew softer. "_I _love you. It kills me to see how he's manipulating your emotions. It kills me for you not to know that there is someone right here, who would marry you in a heartbeat because they want to, not because anyone tells them to."

Hermione felt her heart in her throat and her hands were shaking. She hadn't expected this, not in her wildest dreams had she ever dreamed that Ron would say these things to her. She didn't know what to think or feel.

"Him or us?" Ron mandated.

"What?" Hermione asked wildly. Now he was issuing ultimatums? After everything that he had just laid on her he was going to issue ultimatums?

"Choose a side. You said that this is ruining your relationship with him. Your trust with him. Decide right now. Which relationship matters more. Who's trust do you want the most?"

Hermione looked up at Ron and then looked over at Harry who had turned around and was looking at her questioningly. She took a deep breath, trying to make sense of everything. Trying to wrap her brain around his anger, and his feelings, and all of the emotions that were running around in her head and between them. She took a deep breath and when she spoke her voice was laced with a venom that she hadn't expected.

"Don't ever ask me to choose."

With that, she walked away, trying her hardest not to break down sobbing right then. She had a feeling that whether or not she wanted to make a choice, she just had.

* * *

Draco was sitting in his common room absently flipping through a book, trying to pay attention, trying not to think. It had been a difficult week for more than one reason. School work had been nearly overwhelming and he didn't mind at all. It gave him something to concentrate on, something to put all of himself into. Something that made him forget the overwhelming need for her.

He was really starting to resolve himself to the fact that despite everything that he had been taught, he needed her. Not only needed her, but wanted her. He'd been laying in bed, alone, when he'd had a sort of epiphany about how he really felt about her. Words had power, he knew that. Knew that a single word could inspire trembling fear, fear that rivaled what his father made him feel his whole life. In that moment he had been honest with himself about what he truly felt for her. It came as a strange revelation.

Draco had never felt for anyone what he felt for Hermione. He didn't think he ever would feel anything like this again for anyone else and he was sure he'd never want to. This feeling wasn't enjoyable, it was confusing, and scary, and it was turning his life upside down. So what was he going to do about his new revelation? Absolutely nothing. Hermione had things going on in her life, things that she refused to tell him. At first it had angered him and then, as much as he hated to admit it, he realized that honestly she had hurt those things other people called feelings. His feelings.

Ultimately he had decided that he had two choices. He could make her life miserable in retaliation, or he could make things better by waiting for her to come around. So he was waiting. Again he was impressed with his newfound maturity. He wasn't patient but in three weeks they were going to be living together. They would be away from here and hopefully things would get better. He wanted things to be better and when he wasn't doing school work he was planning their escape.

He had decided that he had to find some feasible excuse to get the both of them away from his father. Right now the only thing that he had come up with so far was that he had to convince his father that they needed to go on a honeymoon together. If his father agreed with that idea then Draco had a very fine-tuned plan. After the wedding he would pack a few things, mainly valuables that he knew were hidden around Malfoy Manor, and after that they would leave. His current plan was for them to stay with the Weasleys.

It was the last place he wanted to be but it was also the safest and most comfortable for her. It would be an easy transition. She would be watched over and protected by those that cared for her and she would also see that he honestly cared about her and meant to protect her. He just hoped that he could convince Weasley, the female one, to help him with his plan. There was so much that could go wrong so he had a Plan B but he was really hoping that this would work.

He'd do it for her.

He noticed that he'd been staring at the same page in his book for at least five minutes. It was nearing the lunch hour so he decided to put his things in his room and head down to the Great Hall. He was just leaving his bedroom headed towards the door when he heard a knock at the entrance. He opened it, wondering who would be knocking, and saw the youngest Weasely standing there.

"Is Hermione here?" she asked worriedly. Draco raised an eyebrow wondering what was wrong.

"No, she left a few hours ago. Is something wrong?" He realized this was the perfect opportunity to ask for her assistance with his plan but she seemed distracted.

Ginny hesitated and then gave him a piercing look. "I'm just looking for her. If you see her will you tell her that I am?"

Draco nodded and wondered what was wrong. He and Hermione hadn't talked to each other lately and he knew that was her choice as much as his. He just felt like if he gave her time that things would sort themselves out. He wanted her to confide in him but he wanted her to do it because she wanted to. Not because he pushed her. So he hadn't been pushing her. He had a feeling that he still had a lot to learn about this whole relationship thing.

But he knew she missed him. That was something. That gave him hope that maybe giving her space hadn't been the worst idea he'd ever made. He was used to demanding answers, he was used to making people do what he wanted, manipulating them until he got what he wanted. He couldn't do that with her. He didn't even want to.

He watched Ginny walk away and had the small hope that maybe Hermione would find him, confide in him. Maybe things would get better sooner rather than later.

It was later in the day, nearing sunset by the darkening of the room, when Draco started to get worried. Ginny had been to their Common Room twice more looking for Hermione and there was still no sign of her. Draco wouldn't say that he was worried about her, just... concerned. She obviously wasn't with Harry and Ron and Ginny couldn't find her. He assumed she had checked all of the obvious places that Hermione liked to go to think. Mainly the Library, the Astronomy Tower, and down by the lake.

It was getting late and Draco knew he wouldn't be able to sleep without knowing she was at least okay. As he grabbed his cloak he had the most mind numbing thought. Earlier in the day as she had been about to leave she had grabbed his hand and told him that she missed him. It suddenly sounded to him like it might have been a goodbye. Maybe she had decided not to go through with marrying him after all. He refused to allow himself to think that way and now he really wanted to find her just to prove how irrational he was being.

He knew the first place he was going to look.

It was a beautiful evening and Draco allowed the fresh air to calm him down as he headed towards the Quidditch Pitch. The Sun was just beginning to set and half the sky was a variety of vibrant colors while the other half was a deep blue with stars just starting to peak out.

He finally reached the Quidditch Pitch and sure enough, there she was, high up in the stands. Secure in the knowledge that she hadn't mysteriously disappeared he almost left. Almost. He couldn't justify leaving her when she might need someone to talk to. Ginny still hadn't told him what this was all about it and his concern and curiosity was getting the better of him. He went to the staircase that led up to the top of the stands and started to climb.

When he reached the top she must have heard his footsteps because she turned and looked at him before turning her attention back to the darkening sky. It wasn't an invitation to join her but he decided to take it as one. He sat down next to her.

"I'm a little surprised you found me," she said looking over at him. He could tell that she'd been crying. There was a lingering redness to her cheeks and nose that were a tell-tale sign.

"I simply decided to look in the last place you'd likely be. This was my first guess. It was either this or the Quidditch section of the library. I figure this had a better view." She gave him a small smile and he resisted the urge to wrap an arm around her. He was still skittish as to where they stood with one another.

"Remember a few weeks ago when you took me for a ride on your broom?" she asked turning her gaze back up to the sky.

"I remember," he said following her gaze back up to the sky. How could he ever forget? It was one memory in a rapidly growing list of memories that made him happy. He'd never really had that before her.

"I enjoyed it. I wanted to kill you for baiting me into getting on the broom in the first place but it was nice."

"I'd be more than happy to give you a repeat performance. It's not raining, we can go faster this time." He was met with a playful elbow on his arm. "Weasley, Ginny that is, has been by the common room looking for you several times. Did the two of you have a falling out?" Draco asked. Wondering what had happened to have her sitting up for hours.

"No, it wasn't Ginny. I just needed time to think."

"About what?"

"Everything. You. Me. Harry and Ron. Where I fit in. Where I don't fit in. I feel like as each day goes by I lose a little bit more of who I am."

The surprising thing was that Draco knew exactly what she was feeling. It just meant something different to both of them. As each day went by he evolved beyond the Slytherin Prince. He tried to be mature, he tried to put someone else before himself, he tried to be a better person. Each time he lost something of who he used to be he gained something better. He supposed that after eighteen years he was finally really starting to grow up. He didn't think it was the same way for her. It wasn't a positive change that she was going through, it was a negative one, and it had a lot to do, everything to do, with him being in her life.

"I really don't know what I want anymore. I don't even know whose side I'm on anymore. I feel like I don't know anything. It's quite humbling," she said with a sardonic smirk that didn't suit her.

"What brought this about?" There was a long pause and then she drew in a long breath and when he thought she would say something there was more silence. She turned to him, looked him so squarely in the eyes that he almost wanted to look away. He didn't though, he couldn't bring himself to turn away from her. She sighed and then turned her attention back up to the sky.

"Dumbledore's Army. We started it back up again and I'm not supposed to tell you. It goes against everything everyone else wants for me and I just couldn't do it. I couldn't keep it from you and I don't understand that. My biggest priority these last few years has been to help Harry and protect him in whatever way I can and I feel like I'm failing him. I feel like I'm failing everyone by having what I have with you.

"I'm not Gryffindor Hermione Granger best friend to Harry Potter and Ron Weasley. I'm a semi-former Gryffindor who is in… who's engaged to you. Ron apparently wants to marry me. I can't be trusted by the two people who have always been there for me. I need them now, more than I ever have and I don't have them. I'm just a… a… traitor that's being manipulated and has forgotten right from wrong. Do you see how confusing this is to me?" she said with a harsh laugh.

Draco honestly didn't know how he was going to make this better for her. When it came to identity crises he was pretty lost himself. He was relieved that she had finally opened up and told him where she had been so late into the night this past week. He was sorry that it had apparently come at such a high cost for her. He had never meant to make her life difficult. He wanted simplicity. He wanted to get along with her, but they had yet to find that delicate balance.

"Thank you for telling me about Dumbledore's Army. It's a relief to know it was that and not something else," he admitted.

"What did you think it was?" she asked curiously.

Draco shrugged not especially wanting to show vulnerability to her but knowing that he would anyway. "I thought maybe you were trying to find a way out of all of this." It wasn't like he could blame her. It suddenly sunk in that she had mentioned something about marrying Ron when she was going on her rant about who she wasn't anymore.

"Weasley wants to marry you?" he asked, feeling something akin to jealousy. It was also fear. If you'd had asked anyone a year ago who Hermione Granger was going to end up with, odds were in Weasley's favor.

Hermione was silent and she looked away. It was the first time throughout this entire conversation that he could see tears gathering in her eyes.

"He told me that he loves me. That he would marry me without anyone telling him that he had to. He was just… he was... upset. I think words were just coming out…"

"Do you love him back?" He felt his stomach plummet as the words left his mouth. The word love tasted acidic on Draco's tongue. It was a word that he seldom, if ever, used and having it in correlation to Hermione and someone else was a new experience. Throughout this whole thing he had resolved himself to believing that she would leave him if she found out he was a Death Eater. It oddly hadn't crossed his mind that she might be in love with someone else.

"I love him but it's not romantic. He's one of my best friends and if we got married I think we'd stay friends, I even think we'd be happy, at least for awhile, but I want more than that. I want... I don't even know what I want. I just... I never meant to hurt him like this. I thought it was just a crush… I didn't realize that he felt so deeply. I feel so guilty."

"Why's that?" Draco asked as his heart began to slow down a little bit. His feelings for her never failed to amaze him. He found himself almost sympathizing with Weasley, which was an alien feeling.

"Because I can't feel what everyone wants me to feel. It would make Harry and Ginny, and everyone so happy if I was in love with him. I think they all still expect me to resent you, to hate you, to rebel against all of this and I almost feel like I owe it to them to feel that way, but I don't. I just want things to be good between you and I. I risked my friendship with Ron and Harry so that I could be honest with you and I don't know why."

"It's because I'm good in bed," he said loftily trying to lighten the mood a little. She wiped at a few wayward tears and rolled her eyes at him.

"Well besides the obvious," she shot back with a half smile.

"I still think you're the same person. You're still courageous, I hear that Gryffindor are famous for that. Going against what everyone expects you to do isn't easy." He spoke from experience. "You still want everyone to be treated equally, whether it's a house elf or a Malfoy. Just because some things are changing doesn't mean who you are changes." Draco hoped the opposite was true for him.

"Did you just compare yourself to a House Elf?" she asked incredulously.

"No idea what you are talking about," he said with a nonchalant grin. He was just happy to see her smile.

"It's dark out, we should probably be getting back," she said standing up and stretching as she winced in pain from her stiff muscles.

"I can summon my broom," he said jokingly as they descended the stairs back down to the ground.

"I'd much rather walk," she said as they reached the ground and began the trek back to the castle. He smiled when she reached down and took his hand in hers. There was something that Draco wanted to tell her. Part of it was ego, and part of it was to make her feel better, but all of it was honest.

"For the record, I would marry you without being told to." He didn't want her to think that his feelings for her were any less real than Weasley's.

"I know."

Growing up, maturing, evolving, whatever it was that he was doing, wasn't easy. But to see that look in her eyes at that moment was worth it.

* * *

Review, pretty please?


	31. The Letters From Home

It was the week of the Nastily Exhausting Wizarding Test, also known as the NEWTS. To say that Hermione was a little overwhelmed was an understatement. As it stood now, she was scheduled for ten NEWTS: Charms, Defense Against the Dark Arts, Transfiguration, Care of Magical Creatures, Arithmancy, History of Magic, Herbology, Astronomy, Potions, and Ancient Runes. Which, roughly translated, meant everyday for the next five days she was going to be spending the entire day with two different life changing test in front of her. Yes, overwhelmed was an understatement, stressed out didn't even begin to cover it.

Simply put, she was a bundle of nerves and anxiety.

Suddenly everything was becoming clear in a painful, sharp way. Her time at Hogwarts was almost over, two and a half more weeks and she'd leave, probably never to return. Her friendship with Ron and Harry seemed to be following that same path. Two days wasn't a long time not to talk to them, but when she only had sixteen days left to see them every day, it felt like a lot. It felt like a lifetime.

At the moment, Hermione stood in front of the mirror, brushing her hair, preparing for her two tests for the day which happened to be Astronomy and Ancient Runes. She had almost decided not to take the test for Astronomy but one never knew when the credentials to know about stars and planets would be needed, so take it she would. Hermione also wanted to be the first student in recent memory to get an 'Outstanding' in ten NEWT subjects. She wanted that. She _needed_ it.

Despite her anxiety, there was a certain calm in knowing that she had spent nearly seven years getting to this point. She had the knowledge, now all she had to do was apply it. It was strange, but underneath her layer of panic and fear of failure, she had confidence in herself. She had studied, she had done the review assignments, there was nothing left to be done.

She wished she could say that she had the same inner confidence about her relationship with her best friends. Ron and Harry had made no effort to try to contact her and her wounded pride had made it impossible for her to make the first move. Whenever she thought about how things were, she felt herself getting panicked. Seven years had boiled down into not being on speaking terms with her best friends. It felt like the end of an era, more daunting than no longer being at Hogwarts, or even being unmarried. Losing them made her feel like she was losing even more of who she was, or used to be.

While Hermione couldn't arrange them in order, she was fairly certain that she had gone through several stages of grief over the past day and a half since everything had been ruined by her request to include Draco in Dumbledore's Army. She had spent that entire night wrapped in Draco's arms crying while he either slept or pretended to. She had a feeling that he had been awake for most of the time, but unable to think of anything to do to make it better.

The strange thing was that she felt guilty for crying around him. It was something she was quite sure that he had little or no experience with and she hated that she was probably making him so uncomfortable. The next day had been spent in varying degrees of denial and anger. She'd been sure that one of them would come and get her for the DA meeting. Or send her a note, maybe ask Ginny to come for her. When none of that had happened the anger hit her.

Who were they to make her life any more difficult than it was? What kind of friends would do that? Horrible ones. Horrible, horrible, horrible ones that had _never_ cared about her at all to begin with. Had only used her because she was intelligent and helpful and the minute she didn't obey them she just wasn't worth being friends with anymore.

The logical part of her brain knew that none of that was the truth and she was just angry and hurt. Honestly, her heart felt abandoned in the worst way possible. Last night as she'd laid in bed next to Draco she thought about going to them, telling them that she'd find some way to get away from Draco. That nothing that she felt for him was real and it was all a mistake. She had almost talked herself into doing just that when he snored right next to her ear in the most adorable way. She had burst into quiet tears.

When that had subsided she realized that there wasn't anything that she could do to fix things. Since waking up this morning she'd been in a constant state of acceptance mixed with a crushing hope that things would be okay and a sense of dread and despair that they wouldn't.

Hermione looked at the clock in the Common Room once she had finished getting ready for the day. She grabbed her things and then in a heart plummeting moment she realized that if she went downstairs to the Great Hall then she'd have nowhere to sit. Or rather have to sit with those that didn't want her.

She also realized how considerate Draco had been the day before. Yesterday they'd slept in late, something that she had desperately needed after spending more than half the night in tears. After waking up, Draco had suggested that they study together. He wasn't taking as many NEWTs as she was but there were still several subjects they had in common. Hermione had been so preoccupied that she hadn't even really realized that Draco had gone downstairs and brought both lunch and dinner up to the Common Room for them both.

Hermione leaned against the wall, annoyed with the lack of appreciation on her part. It had been… well… _thoughtful_ and she wasn't even sure she remembered saying 'thank you'. She looked at the clock again, she had more than enough time to go down to the kitchen and fix them plates and be back by the time he got out of the shower.

A little while later she walked up the stairs with a tray laden with food. She didn't know what he liked so she had gotten a little bit of everything. There had only been two blueberry muffins left, one of her favorites, and she had eaten one while talking to Dobby and she was claiming the other one as well. If he was in the mood for blueberry muffins he was out of luck. Muffins were a good comfort food for her.

She walked into the Common Room and heard the shower running. As she walked towards the sitting area she had to pass the bathroom and she noticed the door was wide open. She resisted the urge to look inside and went over to the coffee table where she sat the tray on the table and greedily began to devour the remaining blueberry muffin. She heard the water turn off and figured that he was finishing up his morning routine. He was quite speedy at getting ready. Waking up late all the time she supposed he had to be. Even after all of these years, Hermione still tended to do most things in a Muggle way. Draco, however, had spells to dry off, to comb his hair, to make him smell nice. She heard him leave the bathroom and when she looked up she almost choked on her food.

He obviously didn't use a spell to get dressed. Or use a towel for that matter.

It took him a moment to see her, and at the same moment that he saw her, she realized that she shouldn't _still_ be seeing him. With her face turning several shades of red she covered her eyes and tried to swallow the bit of muffin that seemed lodged in her throat.

"I thought you had gone down to the Great Hall," she heard him say and there was no mistaking the amusement in his voice.

"Breakfast," she managed to choke out, although it was far from an elaborate explanation. She couldn't believe that she had seen him completely naked. She knew what the male anatomy looked like, after all she had read books, but seeing… _it_… in person was an entirely different experience.

"If you wanted to see me naked all you had to do was ask. You didn't have to ambush me," he said and she could just imagine the smile on his face. She resisted the urge to stick her tongue out at him but thought better of it when she realized it might be construed as an offer. Ambush indeed.

"If I wanted to see you naked I think I would pick a more convenient time, such as later tonight," she replied smugly. She could give as good as she got. Hermione was pleased to hear silence. She liked making him speechless and her mind was speedily processing just how many ways she could do that. After a few seconds he seemed to recover.

"Only if it's reciprocated," he said before she heard his bedroom door shut. Peeking out from behind her fingers to make sure he was really gone, she rolled her eyes. Maybe in his dreams. Or as it stood now, hers.

Several hours later, after her extremely enjoyable breakfast, Hermione was quite exhausted. Her brain hurt from thinking so much and she wished she had an "off" switch. She had done well on both of her tests, at least it had felt that way, and she had to admit that she was very proud of how easily the answers came to her. That meant two down, eight to go. She was on her way to the Common Room when she heard a voice behind her, calling her name.

Hermione was alternatively sad and happy to see that it was Ginny. They had actually spoken yesterday so she knew she wasn't on Ginny's Ignore List. Harry had explained everything to Ginny and Hermione was happy that she hadn't had to. She was also very relieved that Ginny hadn't felt the need to pick sides in the matter either. Ginny was just as fiery and opinionated as ever but this time she wasn't voicing them. Hermione had a feeling that Ginny would take Ron's side in the matter anyway, no matter what advice she had given Hermione in the past.

Hermione hoped in vain that maybe Harry and Ron had sent Ginny to tell her that they were ready to speak to her again.

Ginny jumped into the latest Gryffindor gossip as they walked up to Hermione's Common Room and Hermione began to lose hope that there was some kind of reconciliation on the horizon. They finally reached the door and Ginny pulled out an envelope and Hermione felt her heart jump into her throat. She just wanted things back the way they were.

"Before I forget, the owls dropped this off at breakfast this morning where you usually sit. It's from your parents," Ginny said as she handed it to her.

Hermione tried to swallow her disappointment as she took the letter.

"Would you like to come in?" asked Hermione, suddenly desperate for some sort of contact with the happier days of her past.

"I would, but I promised a game of exploding snap to Seamus and Dean, I think the NEWTs have fried their brains. You're welcome to join. It'll just be the four of us."

As tempting as it was, the thought of running into Ron and Harry and the awkwardness that would ensue, made up her mind for her. She didn't feel welcome in the Gryffindor Common Room anymore.

"I would but I should probably be -"

"Studying," Ginny said with a grin that reminded her painfully of Ron's.

"Exactly," Hermione said with a forced smile. She wished Ginny good night and then she made her way inside.

It was then that she pulled out the letter and looked at it with a mixture of guilt and dread. Over the last few months Hermione had noticed that it took longer for her to respond to her parent's letters and her responses were always short and distracted. There had been so much going on, fights with Draco, getting along with Draco, studying, the DA… she hated to admit that she had been neglecting them.

She was at a complete loss as to how to explain anything that was going on in her life to them. Shortly after the whole marriage business she had made it a point to mention Draco in one of her letters to them, telling them that she really liked him. It had been her way of laying the ground work for telling them about the marriage, something that she hadn't even began to get around to in the last four months.

She had awkwardly tried to hint that they were "dating" but she wasn't even sure that was coming across very well. After all, they were used to her talking about male friends. She was going to have to figure out something to tell them eventually. She would probably never tell them that she and Draco were married. Instead she would let them know that it was a serious relationship in which they lived together and just leave it at that.

Draco wasn't there yet so Hermione lit a fire in the fireplace and sat down in one of the arm chairs and opened the letter. It was then that she realized that she had forgotten to respond to the letter that they'd written her a few weeks ago. She tried to push away even more guilt as she unfolded the crisp white paper.

She read through the letter, feeling like a horrible daughter as they acknowledged that she had forgotten to write them, but it was understood she was probably busy preparing for her exams. She knew she was blessed to have such wonderful parents. They asked her what her plans were for after graduation. It was a frequent question that Hermione was used to evading. She supposed that with Graduation only a few weeks away she was going to have to tell them something.

Of course they would be coming to her graduation, that was inevitable, but she wouldn't be leaving with them, Harry, and Ron as originally planned. Instead she would be whisked away to Malfoy Manor to be married and after that, well, she didn't know what was going to happen.

In the letter they asked about Draco, asked if they were going to get to meet him at graduation, and that he was invited to visit afterwards along with Ron and Harry if she wished. They hoped to hear from her soon and they wished her luck on her exams.

Hermione sighed and folded the paper back up, slipped it in the envelope, and sat it on the table. If only everyone could get along for her sake. She knew life was never that easy. Even if Harry and Ron could bring themselves to be polite to Draco, Hermione knew that it would be hard for Draco to be polite to them. Oh, he might be able to hold it in for a little while, but it would only be a matter of time before the old hatred bubbled up and insults were hurled. She wanted to spend time after graduation with all of them. She wanted to have her family back. She wanted to be able to invite Harry and Ron over for dinner with her and Draco. She wanted them to be at her wedding.

Oh Merlin. She hadn't thought of them not being at her wedding. She needed them there. How was she going to go through it alone? She quickly wiped at her eyes.

She just wanted to wake up and have it be a month from now. Maybe by then she'd actually have something figured out. Pushing the letter, and everything else, out of her head she picked up _Godric's Hollow: A History_. Just because she wasn't on speaking terms with Ron or Harry didn't mean that she was going to stop her research on a way to defeat Voldemort. Dumbledore had said the key might lie within Godric's Hollow, so Hermione was determined to find it if she could.

Draco turned up a little while later, thankfully with something to eat. They ate in a companionable silence, Hermione with her book sitting open in front of her so that she could read while eating, and Draco absently flipped though one of his books on Potions. Once she was done eating Hermione decided to take the plunge and talk to him about her parents. A topic they had never really discussed.

"My parents want to meet you," Hermione started out hesitantly. Draco looked up and raised an eyebrow in surprise.

"You told them about us?" he asked.

"No, not entirely. They don't know anything about the Marriage or how we've been staying here together. I just told them that I liked you. I've mentioned spending a lot of time with you. I'd like for you to meet them, that is, if you'd like to." Honestly Hermione was scared to death of Draco meeting her parents. Part of it was because she wanted them to like each other. Secondly, something that she didn't like admitting, she was worried because Draco was Draco, and her parents were Muggles.

She wasn't sure that Draco had ever actually had a conversation with a Muggle and while she was sure that he wouldn't openly insult them, she was worried about undertones of hatred, of superiority, of arrogance. He had changed in the last few months, there was no denying that, but she had a feeling that most of his change towards her was _because_ of her, not because of a changing world view.

Draco was hesitating with the question. Did he have the same fears that she did? Maybe he wasn't ready. She wanted to be understanding but at the same time they were her _parents_, and she wouldn't ever want to hurt them. It seemed wrong to not let them meet someone who was going to be part of her life for an indeterminate amount of time.

"I'll meet them if you'd like me to," he said and Hermione could plainly see that he wasn't thrilled by the idea. She tried not to be disappointed, after all, she hadn't expected him to be excited about the idea.

"Does it bother you that they are Muggles?" she asked cautiously.

"A little," he admitted.

"Why?"

"It's hard to explain," he said uncomfortably.

"Will you try?" she asked. She didn't know what she wanted him to say. Maybe she just wanted him to open up to her about it, maybe she wanted to find a way to change his mind. Honestly, she wanted him to say that being around her had changed his whole view of the world and all his prejudices and hatreds had disappeared. Too bad this wasn't a fantasy world.

"There are a lot of reasons that we don't like Muggles. It's not just because I've been taught that I am superior to them. I have also been taught that the reason that our worlds are separate is because if we were to reveal ourselves they would begrudge us our magic. They would want to experiment on us. They would envy us, and if they couldn't take what we had, then they would try to destroy us. It's hard to get over years of being taught that. I will meet them if it is important to you."

Hermione was amazed that she had never thought of things in the terms of how he had just laid them out for her. In her mind, Muggles needed to be protected from Wizards, she had never really thought of it in opposite terms before. She hated to admit that Draco might have a point. Humans, whether they had magic or not, were greedy by nature. All this time she had fought to defeat Voldemort and his obsession with suppressing and destroying Muggles she had never thought that roles could be reversed.

"I never thought of that," she admitted out loud to him. "Thank you for agreeing to meet them. They'll be at graduation, I don't know if your parents are coming but if they are could you… I don't want them to meet." Hermione didn't know why she couldn't just say that the thought of his parents meeting hers made her skin crawl. She didn't want her parents anywhere near Lucius Malfoy or his vapid tongue.

"I'll do my best to prevent that from happening," he said and she could hear the sincerity in his voice. She could also hear that he wasn't sure he could stop it if that was what his father wanted.

They spent the rest of the evening chatting about more positive things. They commiserated over the NEWTs, talked about Daily Prophet news, Voldemort never being mentioned. After awhile he asked her more about her parents and she told him a few choice childhood memories. She almost felt bad for having such a happy childhood. He probably couldn't relate to her at all on that level, but then again neither had Harry.

When she was in the midst of talking about a particularly wonderful Christmas, a random image slipped into her mind. She and Draco gathered around a Christmas tree in an attempt to decorate it. Complete with Draco wearing a Santa hat. The thought was so out of nowhere and amusing that the end of her sentenced dissolved into giggles.

She tried to recover, feeling suddenly embarrassed at having such a thought. She didn't want to share it. It seemed oddly intimate to admit that she could think of married life with him as being happy and joyful. She would like to make memories like that with him. She wanted to give him the happiness that his parents had never bothered to. He deserved happy memories.

Hermione realized awhile later that she had gotten absolutely no studying for the NEWTs done and she was surprisingly all right with that. It had been a good evening and she found herself more relaxed than she had been in days. Deciding that the best way to prepare for tomorrow was to get a good night's sleep, she got up and did her evening ritual of brushing her teeth and changing into her pajamas. When she came out of her room Draco was still sitting in his arm chair so she grabbed his hand and led him to the bedroom.

By this point she knew his room well enough, and what he put where, not to need to turn on the light. The darkness made the sudden, loud, 'tap-tapping' sound even more startling. Hermione jumped in surprise and breathed a sigh of relief when Draco turned the light on. She traced the sound to his window where a huge owl sat perched on the sill. She turned to Draco and noticed that he honestly looked scared.

She wasn't sure that she had seen that look before.

He let go of her hand and went for the window. Hermione sat down on the bed and got under the blankets. She watched the owl fly away as Draco closed the window, a rolled up piece of parchment in his hand. She had to admit that she was curious about what it said. To her disappointment he took the letter, opened his desk drawer, and put it inside, firmly shutting it.

"Aren't you going to read it?" she asked trying to sound nonchalant about it.

"Not tonight," he said turning out the light. She could hear, if not see, him taking off his clothes and changing into his sleepwear. Hermione had discovered that during their week of not talking he had reverted back to sleeping with his shirt off, something that he apparently did before they had started co-habitating. Not wanting to infringe on his comfort, and she had to admit that Draco, shirtless, was quite lovely, she had told him that she wouldn't mind the lack of shirt in the future. He'd been sleeping shirtless for the past few days, which was why she was confused when he climbed into bed, she reached for him, and felt the softness of shirt, not skin.

She tried not to sigh in disappointment. She couldn't quite make herself form any words to protest. There was a shyness that came over her when they were alone in bed together that rendered her quite speechless. She was however bold enough to slip her hand under his shirt to make contact with the smoothness of his chest.

His skin felt warm against the palm of her hand and she resisted the urge to let her hands travel elsewhere. She knew she wasn't ready for real intimacy, but sometimes her hands, and the rest of her body for that matter, protested her self control. Their 'wedding night' was quickly approaching and Hermione had to admit that there was part of her, quite a large part, that was looking for an excuse to 'give in'.

She fell into a deep sleep, falling asleep to thoughts of what it would really be like to be a wife.

* * *

Draco laid in bed listening to Hermione's deep, even, breathing. The last few days had been interesting. When it came to Hermione he felt completely lost. She had been going through so many emotions that frankly it scared him. Women were emotional creatures and that was something that he had avoided at all costs in the past. One reason why he got along so well with Pansy was the fact that as far as women went, she was pretty easy to deal with. Jealousy, anger, entitlement, those were the things that Pansy felt and those were the things he could handle.

Hermione however, was a spectrum of emotions. Ones that he was only beginning to be able to understand. Her emotions came from a different place than his or Pansy's and it was hard for him to understand them. So he tried his hardest to be there for her, which to him meant trying not to get in her way.

So far he believed he'd done a decent job. It was really all he could do. Someone else might have asked her to talk about her feelings, might have said some encouraging words, but that wasn't a man he could be. Still, he hoped that she realized that he was there for her in whatever way that he was capable of being.

He wasn't going to be able to sleep, not with the threat of his father's letter looming over him. His stomach was still in knots, not only over the fact that his father had written him, but the fact that Hermione had been there to witness it. He hoped he had schooled the look on his face as he had reached for the letter. He didn't want her to see that primal fear that his father instilled in him. Part of it was ego, part of it was knowing that Hermione was the most intelligent person he had ever met and he didn't want her to figure anything out.

She had lost her two best friends over the argument on whether or not to trust him. Whether or not he was a Death Eater. For all intents and purposes Weasely and Potter had been right about him. She had blindly defended him against all odds. The thought of revealing the truth to her made him break out into a cold sweat. As each week passed the stakes rose even higher. He wished that he'd had enough faith in her in the beginning to tell her that he was a Death Eater after it had happened, but now it was impossible. He couldn't even begin to fathom the depth of betrayal that she would feel. He didn't want to be that to her, so he was going to do whatever he could do to stop everything from crashing down around him.

At least that was the plan.

After awhile he fell into a restless sleep, plagued by nightmares about darkly cloaked figures.

When he woke up late in the morning Hermione was gone. She was probably doing some last minute studying or heading downstairs to start on her first of two NEWTs for the day. As opposed to her ten tests, Draco was only going to be doing Charms, Defense Against the Dark Arts, Transfiguration, Arithmancy, Potions. His test for today was Transfiguration which would take place later in the afternoon. Which meant he had the morning to himself. There were things that he needed to do, first and foremost, the letter from his father.

Draco noticed strange writing around the edges of the rolled parchment, which meant it was spelled to keep it from eyes that were not his. He carefully unfolded it and began reading.

_I grow impatient Draco. The Dark Lord grows impatient. Each day Dumbledore and his allies grow stronger. We need to strike soon. We need to deal them a crushing blow. You are engaged to one who knows more than most. I need you to get information out of her or I will. She is only as useful as the information she supplies to us. So far there has been none. If that doesn't change she becomes expendable. Give us the location of the Order of the Phoenix. Give us the location of Remus Lupin or Alastor Moody. Tell us Potter's plans after graduation. Anything you can discover. You have three days. There will be consequences to failure._

Draco was surprised that his stomach wasn't bubbling with nausea, his heart wasn't pounding wildly. To be honest he felt strangely empty. He'd find some way to get out of this. Despite the reality of the situation there was something in him that was detached, that refused to believe that anything would happen to Hermione. Maybe it was Malfoy ego, maybe it was something akin to hope, either way he was going to protect her, and he was going to start this morning. With a flick of his wand he set the note on fire and then got showered, dressed, and headed up to the Owlery.

Then he found himself atop the astronomy tower, waiting, quite impatiently. Rarely did Draco Malfoy enjoy waiting for anything. He was leaning casually against the cool stone of the tower, his arms crossed in front of him as he got more impatient. It had almost been twenty minutes. How long did it take to walk up a flight of stairs? Maybe this wasn't the best plan after all. He was just about to abandon it and head to the library when he heard the door creak open and a red haired Weasely walk through it. The female one, of course.

It had actually occurred to him to get Weasely and Potter together and have some sort of man-to-men talk with them but at this point he honestly felt it was beneath him and not worth his time. He wasn't going to grovel to them, wasn't going to try to convince them that he was a changed man, he didn't really care what they thought. He did, however, care about Hermione and that was what made him consider it no matter how easily he dismissed it afterwards.

This one didn't absolutely despise him, and if she did, she was polite enough to keep it from showing. That in no way made her trustworthy, but it did make her just the littlest bit tolerable.

"I thought the signature on the note was some sort of joke," Ginny said with a raised eyebrow. Draco could only imagine what her reaction had been, regardless he was happy that she had decided to meet with her.

"What do you want?" she asked. Draco surprisingly didn't sense any hostility in her voice.

Draco had thought long and hard, many mornings, afternoons, and evenings about how this should go. He could be himself, which to anyone else besides Hermione, was cold, calculating and superior. Or he could be honest. Honesty didn't really suit him and neither did asking for favors. Draco Malfoy was about to do both.

"I need your help." Four words that had never together been uttered by one Draco Malfoy. They were as distasteful as he thought they would be. It did, however, get her attention and pique her curiosity.

"With what?" she asked slowly, the surprise evident on her face.

"Keeping Hermione safe," he said simply.

"Safe from who?" Ginny asked shrewdly.

"My father," Draco admitted despite his inner voice that told him to lie and manipulate. He was treading on a very thin line between lying and truth. He had never admitted to Hermione that his father planned to use her, honestly he didn't want to admit that to anyone.

"What does he plan to do to her?" Ginny asked moving a little bit closer. Draco had the faint notion that it was so she could more clearly look him in the eyes and discern the truth.

"I'm not entirely sure he plans to do anything, but I know my father, and I'm not willing to risk her." It came out sounding more desperate than he had originally planned so he decided to get it all out before the discomfort of the situation got to him.

"After Hermione and I are married I want to take her away, some place safe, that very night. I don't want her to stay at Malfoy Manor any longer than she has to. I was hoping that she and I could stay at your family's house. Just until things are… settled."

"Both of you?" Ginny asked, her face unable to mask her surprise. "Why not just Hermione?"

"If she leaves without me she'll be in violation of our contract and subject to the punishment of those terms."

Ginny seemed to think over her next question very carefully before she asked it. "You would leave everything for her?"

That was not the question that Draco had expected her to ask, nor was it one he really thought about. If he thought about losing his fortune, losing his place in society, being disowned by his parents, not to mention being a traitor to possibly the most evil wizard of all time, he honestly thought he might not be able to go through with it. So he didn't think about that, any of it, he thought about Hermione, and for now that gave him courage. "Yes," he said simply, unable to put his thoughts into any words other than that.

"Hermione is always welcome at the Burrow. You… I don't think… I'm not exactly sure… It will be difficult. Ron…" she trailed off and Draco tried to tell himself not to be bothered by the bleak outlook. It had been a long shot to think that the Weasleys would allow him, of all people to stay with them, but he was doing it for Hermione, and himself.

"I want her to be some place safe and familiar. I know that your family has never been too fond of me," That was putting it in the best light possible, "but I'm doing this for her. I don't want to be the one that ruins her life." That wasn't supposed to come out. He could feel his cheeks burning.

"I'll talk to my parents about it. You should really talk to Hermione about this, she deserves to know what's going on."

"She's under enough stress with the NEWTs. I will tell her eventually, I just don't want her to worry about this, any of it." He didn't want her to know that his father eventually planned on killing her.

"I'll ask my parents and tell you what they say. Thank you for trying to look out for her. If anyone ever hurt her I would kill them, personally." With that, she turned and walked out of the tower. Draco had a feeling she'd meant it.

Draco had one last thing to do before he could cram for his Transfiguration NEWT. He went back up to their dorm, grabbed pen and parchment, and sat in the common room looking at the sheet of blank paper. His father wanted some piece of information. Something that Hermione knew. Draco had to give him something.

As he looked around the room something occurred to him. Sitting on the coffee table, bookmarked by a piece of ribbon was a book on Godric's Hollow that Hermione had been reading. A brilliant idea occurred to him, he was going to send his father on a random goose chase. Hermione was always researching different things just for the fun of it. He could tell his father that she was looking into the history of Godric's Hollow and he'd never know that there was nothing at all to it. On the off chance that he was able to check up on Draco's information, which wasn't out of the question, it would be collaborated by the fact that Hermione had checked the book out of the library.

He could even make up some story about a hidden artifact. Hopefully that would keep his father busy and off his back for the next two weeks until graduation. If not, then he would just have to find something else to tell him. Pleased with his plan, Draco penned a quick note to his father explaining that Hermione was secretly researching Godric's Hollow for Potter. Draco also mentioned that Potter and Weasley were currently upset with her, but she was still meeting with Dumbledore. Draco felt bad putting that in here, felt bad that it was honest. He told himself that his father was going to find out one way or another. Draco wasn't naïve enough to believe that there weren't spies wandering the halls of Hogwarts. Somehow that information would get back to him, if it hadn't already.

With a sigh of almost relief, Draco sent the letter out with his owl and then sat down on the sofa, feeling the tension slowly releasing from his body. Just a few more weeks and everything would change. Everything. He would be free, honestly free, for the first time in his life. That thought made his heart pound and his breath catch in an almost panicked way in his chest. Free to go where he wanted, be what he wanted, with who he wanted. He could dream about the future, honestly dream, for the first time in his life.

As a child, dreams of his future had consisted only of what his father had wanted. Yes, there had been dreams of being a Quidditch star, but that had been something that he knew was impossible, one of those dreams you let yourself have just to pass the time. Now his dreams were real, tangible, for the first time he felt that unfurling of hope in his gut.

The dreams he was having of his future with Hermione were scary to him. Scary and wonderful. He had never imagined that he had the capacity to feel any of this. Maybe he was more human than he had ever realized he could be.

The next day, found Draco sitting in the Slytherin Common Room, a look of boredom in his face. Blaise had requested his presence so Draco had come despite that little voice in his head that said he probably should stay away. If he was being honest with himself, part of him felt guilty for the time he spent away from his housemates. For a long time they had been family. Dysfunctional, cruel, and backstabbing, but a family none-the-less.

It was ridiculous that he should feel this way but he had spent nearly seven years asserting himself into this group. Controlling them, manipulating them, having them do his bidding. He had been their Prince. He had wanted to be at the top and he'd made it, and then he realized it had all been for nothing. Who cared? What did it matter? He had believed that when he graduated and got a job at the Ministry he would have connections with rich Pureblood families. That was important. It was important to know secrets and get dirt on the Slytherin. Things he could blackmail people with later in life, the ability to call in favors. There was a reason he had been who he was, and now it didn't matter.

Someone had got him a glass of wine and Draco couldn't help himself from sipping it absently. He'd just finished one of his NEWTs and he found that the wine soothed his nerves. Apparently several things had happened since he had moved in with Hermione. Most noteably an alliance between Blaise and Pansy. This surprised Draco and made him feel a slight tinge of jealousy. No one liked being replaced. As much as he loathed the person that he used to be, it was hard to fully let go of it.

Draco looked up from his thoughts as he noticed Blaise wave his hand and the room ominously cleared. Draco was impressed by the control and respect the other Slytherin was receiving.

Blaise waited until the last student had fled and then he turned to Draco, a smirk on his face.

"How's your breeding mare?" he asked casually. Draco fell easily back into his role and found himself smirking.

"Quite frigid actually," he said easily as his mind flashed to the warmth of her lips and the heat that radiated from her soft skin as he touched her.

"I find that interesting," Blaise said, eyes meeting Draco's.

"Why is that?" Draco asked, quite aware of exactly where this was going.

"One would think that if you weren't getting any from your soon-to-be wife then you would invite Pansy into your bed. Any girl for that matter. Rumor has it that Draco Malfoy has been without any for the first time in what would it be now? Three or four years? Taken to celibacy have you?"

"Certain sacrifices must be made in times like this." He said it casually as if it didn't matter. He was sure that Zabini was expecting him to complain and to insult Hermione but he didn't feel up to that level of acting, so instead he acted aloof, and superior, in part of course, because he was.

"But to sacrifice _that_?" Zabini said with a snicker. "Seems like a pretty big sacrifice. Especially for you."

"From what I hear I'm not missed," Draco said, reclining further back in his chair and taking a drink.

"Ah, Pansy, Pansy, Pansy. You know she's convinced that you're nursing a fierce jealousy over her and I," he said raising his glass in acknowledgement. "However I don't see it. I think I'm going to marry her. Eventually. Once this whole pureblood-dirtyblood marriage business is over. My father has someone in mind for me. One of our servant girls actually. You know how my father prefers dirty bloods to House Elves. Can't say that I blame him. Anyway, Detta is her name and she's not a bad lay. I found that out over Spring Break," he said with a licentious grin. "I felt like a test drive was in order," he said with a harsh chuckle. Draco felt the urge to roll his eyes but he resisted.

He found himself feeling grateful that he was Hermione's betrothed and not someone else. Someone who would degrade her and mistreat her. Who would have thought that Draco Malfoy, Master of mistreating women would ever think that?

There were times when he had gotten angry enough with Pansy that he had hit her.

Times when for the sake of conquest, he had manipulated girls into sleeping with him. He had ignored them afterwards. Shattered their self-esteem, ruined their relationships by manipulating them to cheat. He had been rough with them in the bedroom, thinking only of his needs and desires. There had been virgins and he couldn't have cared less except for the bragging rights that went with it.

It had made him feel good and powerful. Right now he just felt shame. It was so deep that he could never imagine telling Hermione about it. One more dark crevice in his soul that he would never be able to allow her to explore.

He brought his mind back to the subject at hand. So Blaise was planning on marrying Pansy someday? That came as a surprise to him. For almost seven years now Pansy had been his. His possession. His path to the future. He wasn't sure how he felt about the destruction of another one of his 'dreams'.

Another one down the drain.

He wasn't going to rise through the ranks of Death Eaters. One day replacing his father. One day, even replacing Voldemort.

He wasn't going to live in Malfoy Manor with Pansy by his side. Someone who shared his every dream of darkness.

Instead, he didn't know what he was going to do after graduation. There was a very real possibility that he would be destitute. No money, no power, no place to live. He was literally going to have nothing. Nothing but Hermione.

If she still wanted him after she found out the truth.

He was suddenly feeling panic bubbling up in his stomach.

He realized that Blaise was waiting for him to say something.

"And what does Pansy think about that?" he asked casually.

"I haven't asked. I believe she'll find it a favorable option though. How could she not?"

"If you're asking for my permission, I'm not giving it to you," he found himself saying bitterly. "Pansy will make up her own mind. If you'll excuse me, I have matters to attend to." With that he got up, placed his glass of wine on the table, after downing the last of it, and left the Slytherin Dungeons.

He found his feet on a path to finding Pansy Parkinson.


End file.
